An impassioned plea to the Boston Red Sox

Dear Boston Red Sox,

Hi. You don't know me, but most folks call me The Dude for reasons I don't even remember anymore. I've seen you guys a few times, most notably Game 1 of the '86 world series against the Mets. You lost that one, but that's ok. You had heart. Many moons later, I would find myself sitting beside the famed Green Monster in Fenway park. You kicked the Indians' ass. It was a very impressive display.

Back in '04, I was actually KICKED OUT of my local pub for rooting for the Sox in a predominantly Yankee friendly environment. I watched game 7 in an empty bar down the street, along with a few otheer Sox fans and/or Yankee haters. Oh yes, my friends, I am an avowed hater of the Yankees. I bought numerous items outside Fenway, all of which contained a variation on the phrase "Yankees Suck". (Which reminds me, I need to get one for my godson in his size.)

I am writing to you as a Mets fan. My blood runs Blue and Orange, I'm afraid. But being a Mets fan, despite the aforementioned series, by default it makes me a Sox fan. Why? Because the Mets are forever the 2nd place guys. Always forgotten in the shadow of the Yanks, much like I live in the shadow of an imaginary brother my parents made up, who's better at everything than I am, and is currently curing diseases with my ex girlfriends. (I hate you Mark). Mets fans are a different breed. It's almost as if we truly believe the maxim of "It's not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game". We're certainly a rare breed. And most dyed in the wool Mets fans hate the Yankees as well, thus allowing us a team to watch destroy their chances and make that mupppet-lookin motherfucker Derek Jeter cry.

Now, this year it seems that all our hoping has finally paid off, as we've been having an amazing year. We're fairly close to clinching our division already, and I'm fairly certain we haven't left that perch since the season began. If so, it was only for a brief moment. Granted, it means nothing when it's playoff time, but still, it looks like we have an excellent shot of making it to the series this year.

And because I'm a cyclical kind of guy, I was really hoping that we'd have a rematch of that famed series from 20 years ago. The only problem is, the Yankees aren't allowing it. And they're spanking you in the process. I implore you to not let this happen. Yes, we all have our bad days, but you guys have to get back up on that horse again, and show the American League you mean BUSINESS! This is something to not take lightly. There's only a few more weeks left until playoffs, and with the Yanks in first, your chances of wild card are getting slimmer by the day, with Detroit and Chicago constantly jockeying for position.

Two years ago you were champions. I still believe in you. To quote Rob Schneider in that cinematic opus The Waterboy, "YOU CAN DO IT!" I have faith. All Mets fans have faith. You CAN do it. You MUST do it.

You WILL do it.

On behalf on Mets fans everywhere, I'd like to extend whatever help I can to make sure you achieve this goal. We need this more than you realize. But the question is, do YOU realize it? Let's get our act together, and keep our head in the game. Don't let the Yankees intimidate you. That will be our job in the series.

Best Regards,
The Dude