Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Hey Kids... It's Hump Day!

I've smacked myself hard in the face for referring to today as hump day. There are times when I'm really happy I don't have to work in an office environment, solely so I don't have to hear idiots say that phrase. And yet, here I am. Saying it.

Some random things for your enjoyment:

Reelgirl over at E Online was kind enough to drop a small mention of my exploits from my date with Jessica Alba on her blog. So now, I've been mentioned on E Online. Far out! Let the rumor mill fly! I'm slowly taking the nation by storm, one starlet at a time.

My ultimate dream goal would involve Rosario Dawson and an Ihop. But that's neither here nor there.

I forgot to mention before that Reelgirl is responsible for the lovely photograph of the proverbial fries from the story. Many thanks her way for the shout out and the picture. (And for helping me understand the struggles that blind people must face in their everyday lives).

Oh, and I found this today. It's wrong. Very wrong. A special message for my readers who have children: If they like Kermit, don't let them near. Please. It's for their own sake.

Monday, March 26, 2007

I got Alba's fries!

This girl.

This guy.

These fries.

The whole story can be found at

Awww, hell, since I love you so much, here's the first paragraph:

The clouds above me are a dark gray, rare for Los Angeles, but certainly not unheard of. I stand on the roof of post modern hotel, at a bar with decor that can best described as "ridonkulous". I stand, knowing that a few blocks away, down below in the streets of Los Angeles (Grand St. between 5th and 6th, to be precise), Sue Storm herself, Ms. Jessica Alba, is trying to emerge from a taxi cab in the rain. For a brief second, I wonder if Ms. Alba has enough pull in Hollywood to actually have caused this overcast day to accommodate the filming schedule. (Or maybe Budha/Zues/Odin/God, etc is just a REALLY big Dark Angel fan). All I know is, it must be really difficult for an actress to get out of a cab in the rain, holding an umbrella, a violin, and a cane all at once. Right, I probably should have mentioned that Alba is playing a blind woman. For this scene, anyway.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Box Office Report: 3-25-07

Dude here again, with another astonishing report from the front lines of Hollywood. I'm in the thick of it, but somehow, somewhere, I find the strength making me capable enough to report these numbers to you.

This weekend, we have six new releases trying to knock 300 from the top spot. Did any of them actually succeed? Well, if you skip these opening paragraphs I spend hours writing ahead of time, and look down at the chart, you'll see for yourself. But still, let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates, the actuals will be available on Monday. Just to prove me wrong).

1. TMNT (WB) - $25.45, 3110 screens, week 1, $25.45 total

2. 300 (WB) - $20.5, 3280 screens, week 2, $162.35 total

3. Shooter (Par) - $14.5, 2806 screens, week 1, $14.5 total

4. Wild Hogs (BV)- $14.36, 3401 screens, week 4, $123.8 total

5. The Last Mimzy (NL) - $10.2, 3017 screens, week 1, $10.2 total

6. Premonition (Sony) - $10.1, 2831 screens, week 2, $32.19 total

7. The Hills Have Eyes 2 (Fox Atomic) - $10.0, 2447 screens, week 1, $10.0 total

8. Reign Over Me (Sony)- $8.0, 1671 screens, week 1, $8.0 total

9. Pride (LGF) - $4.0, 1518 screens, week 1, $4.0 total

10. Dead Silence (Uni) - $3.468, 1806 screens, week 2, $13.2 total

Ok, those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that I have a hell of a lot more work to do today than normally. You see, I write from a template (you might have noticed) that I just mix and match numbers and titles. It's fairly straightforward, and it saves me about a half hour of work. But since we have 6 new releases, I may as well have just started from scratch. Stupid Hollywood, always ruining my templates. The thing is, with those three flicks all hovering around the $10 million mark ( Mimzy, Premonition, and Hills), and two (Shooter and Hogs) hovering around the $14.5 mark, I'm sure one studio (my money is going with Disney) will discover that they made more than the others, which means I have to do some MORE switching up of the template. Hollywood, man. Full of jerks that don't think about any templates but their own.

So, it's a little humiliating, but now Spartans were defeated by the Persian empire AND four teenaged mutant ninja turtles. In a comparatively weak opening, TMNT (I'll give them credit for the abbreviation, as it shortens the space, thus not creating too much chaos to aforementioned template) managed to knock off 300. This bodes well for... well, I'm not really sure. Hopefully they'll make a second one, and this time include Shredder. (I'm going off what I heard, I haven't seen it yet).

What else? I already mentioned the Shooter-Hogs situation. (I'm serious. Someone will claim more money on that when the actuals are released) Kudos to New Line on the Mimzy opening, though, as I had a feeling most people dismissed the movie from the pretty terrible title. I could mention the low performance for Hills Have Eyes 2, but that would just be kind of mean. I heard the film was atrocious, so if it can make $10 million based on the first one alone... well, I never had all that much faith to begin with. Reign Over Me and Pride didn't fare so well, despite being generally the best reviewed flicks. Funny how it works like that, huh? Kinda makes you think.

And in the "Because It's There" series: Dreamgirls took in $60,000 on 103 screens, bringing it's grand total to $103,010,000 in 15 weeks.

There you have my break down. Next week, a few less films attempt to mess with my template. I can't even tell you what they are right now. Will they succeed? Only time will tell.

Until next weekend....

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Lost Speak

So THAT'S how Locke got in the wheelchair. Not for nothing, but for making us wait 2 and a half years, that's a hell of a payoff. Gives me hope of what's to come. Discussion?

There's just no denying a classic in any form.

Almost makes me want to buy a Wii.

Almost. I at least want to hang at someone's apartment and play it a lot.

I got to see a sneak peak of 28 Weeks Later!

Danny Boyle's 28 Days Later is a unique film experience, one that I bought hook, line and sinker. From the opening scenes of a lone Cillian Murphy walking the deserted streets of London (some truly terrifying imagery) to the exciting conclusion at the estate house where man is just as evil and deadly as the rage infected "zombies", I found the whole thing to be a trip and a half. It also introduced the fast zombie to the film lexicon, even though it is a contradiction terms. (And there isn't a single use of "the zed word" in the entire film).

Word struck out a while back that a sequel was planned. It was to be called 28 Weeks Later. Danny Boyle would not be directing, and Alex Garland would not be scripting. Alarm bells went off in the hearts and minds of film geeks (or "fanboys") everywhere. What was to become of this small, dark little horror movie we've come to love? Is it just going to become another cog in a machine, like the Saw movies? Just another quick buck that totally sullies anything good about the original?

Well, my friends, I caught a glimpse of the film. The first 28 minutes or so. And I'm proud to report that my fears are placed firmly off to the far side. What could it be to possibly change my mind?

First and foremost, it does not feel like a sell out movie. From what I've seen, this is most definitely a continuation of the world presented in the original. Much like Romero's "Dead" films, there's a large world dealing with the situation at hand, with plenty of different stories to be told. 28 Weeks Later is expanding the scope of the original film, by showing the aftermath. (In case you couldn't get that from the title). Helping assauge my fears is Boyle's involvement. While it might not be calling the shots, he seems to have placed his faith in the extremely capable hands of director Juan Carlos Fresnadillo, a visually gifted Spanish director. If the remaining 90 or so minutes are as captivating as the first 28, then we're all in for a treat.

What I saw began small and intimate. A group of survivors are in a home that is boarded up, protecting them from the rage infected masses in the outside world. There are no survivalists to be found, just normal people trapped in a terrible situation. We have no idea how long these folk have been holed up here. All we know is that Robert Carlyle is among them, and that's usually a good sign for any movie.

The survivors are sitting down for dinner when they hear a boy outside yelling for help. This is naturally followed by an attack. And oh my, what an attack it is. It's frantic, and crazy and brutal, and the onslaught seems never ending. This scene alone had me hooked. I can't give away particulars, but some of the shots of a character running across an open field with more and more infected attackers (I can't in good faith say zombies) coming freaked me out as much as those abandoned London scenes.

From here, we are told the time line involved with the events of the infection, bringing us to the aforementioned title. It is now 28 weeks later, and London is beginning to rebuild itself, despite almost total ruin. An American military team is leading the brigade in this rehabilitation. (I feel this move will lend itself to some social satire, but as I love to keep mentioning I only caught the first 28 minutes, so I can neither confirm nor deny such satire will exist, this is merely speculation). We're introduced to a few of the key military officials, including the yummy Rose Byrne as we're also introduced to the plan for bringing back residents to the hopefully safe city environment. Two of the incoming residents are Robert Carlyle's children, who were on a trip overseas when the initial outbreak occurred. They all hope to rebuild their lives while London around also builds up.

After a nicely done emotional scene between the three of them, the footage ended. My peaceful frame of mind had been disturbed, as what was shown before my eyes piqued my curiosity and I wanted more. In those 28 minutes (oh wait... I get it now!) enough was shown to make me realize the film has a lot more on it's mind than robbing me of my hard earned money. It wants to tell another story of the world I entered into with the first one. Now I am more keen to let it.

I was told a few things about the scope of the film, and certain story items were addressed (including the origin of the infection, and what it actually does), but overall I don't want to spoil anymore. For you or myself. I can say with great joy that this has moved up the ranks on the summer must see list. (It could move to the top if they had fighting robots that shot webs, and seeing as how there are still two months left in post, that could happen. Knock on wood). While I have to wait and see how this one finishes up, I can say with confidence that it will be a time worth spending in a darkened theater full of strangers. It looks like the performances, story, and visual elements will all add up to a fun flick.

And who knows, maybe if a 28 Months Later is greenlit a few years down the line, I won't automatically dismiss it.

28 Weeks Later will open on May 11th at a theater near YOU! But if you want an early fix, there will be a graphic novel coming even sooner, with stories written by Steve Niles (30 Days of Night). Fun times.

Monday, March 19, 2007

The Pirates of The Caribbean 3 Trailer premieres tonight.

But who cares when you can watch it in RUSSIAN!!!!!

I wasn't that big of fan of the second one, but I really loved it whenever Bill Nighy came on the screen. And this trailer reveals an unbelievably cool shot involving him in a duel with Johnny Depp.

But it's that much cooler.... in Russian. I might actually seek out a Russian DVD, just to see the whole film.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

I am a DORK

So, last night I found myself in San Diego (or as Ron Burgundy likes to say, "A Whale's Vagina"), celebrating St. Patrick's Day. I learned a few valuable lessons yesterday. One is that I do NOT belong in a mosh pit anymore. Seriously. That time in my life has passed. (And the bastards broke my sunglasses. And I have inexplcable bruises).

But I also confirmed what a huge dork I am.

Allow me to set the scene: Holiday Inn Express in San Diego, I'm passed out on the bed. Becca comes into the room after a late night swim (bossomely achieved in Mission: Impossible
fashion), and turns on the television. I don't hear her come in, or turn on the TV. But I DO hear the music from Star Wars. Return of the Jedi, to be exact. The music plays while the fleet attacks the Death Star. The corpse that is my body suddenly stirs:

Me: I hear Star Wars.
Becca: Indeed. Now the true question is, which on...
Me: Jedi.
Becca: That's right.
Me: God, I am a DORK.

Then I pass out again. But I can recognize my original trilogy under ANY circumstances. Which kind of puts the brain cells responsible for remembering things like AP Biology, or US History, or my address, on the wayside. Most likely destroyed after the amount put down last night.

Good times.

(Yes, I am aware this is from Empire. Bite me)

Box Office Report- day after St. Drinkin's Day

Dude here again, finally emerging from a St. Patrick's Day hangover/cocoon, because I need to get you the numbers. Man, my head hurts. And I have bruises I can't explain. But I still have my wallet. And most importantly, I still have my kidneys. Because that's my number 2 fear: waking up in a bathtub full of ice with the words "Call 911" written in lipstick on the mirror. (Fear number 1? Snakes on my plane).

This weekend, the only movie that matters to anyone continued its dominance, despite an onslaught of newcomers. This bodes well for my theory of "Let's keep a Zach Snyder movie in theaters as long as possible". Someday, it will happen. Mark my words. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates, the actuals will be available on Monday. Just to prove me wrong).

1. 300 (WB) - $31.185, 3270 screens, week 2, $127.473 total

2. Wild Hogs (BV)- $18.2, 3360 screens, week 3, $103.993 total

3. Premonition (Sony) - $18.9, 2831 screens, week 1, $18.0 total

4. Dead Silence (Uni) - $7.77, 1805 screens, week 1, $7.77 total

5. I Think I Love My Wife (FoxS) - $5.7, 1776 screens, week 1, $5.7 total

6. Bridge to Terabithia (BV) - $5.1, 3091 screens, week 5, $74.9 total

7. Ghost Rider (Sony) - $4.0, 2824 screens, week 5, $110.2 total

8. Zodiac (Par)- $3.07, 2362 screens, week 3, $28.9 total

9. Norbit (DW) - $2.7, 2016 screens, week 6, $92.39 total

10. Music and Lyrics (WB) - $2.2, 1850 screens, week 5, $47.377 total

Ok, those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that 300 once again reigns supreme over all. Even Sandra Bullock, who couldn't even surpass the WIld Hogs take for the week. (Interesting to note that this week, both 300 and Hogs broke the $100 million mark. 3 flicks reaching that by March (with Norbit close by to make it #4) is quite a feat, and if I were a Hollywood bigshot, I'd be proud. Then I'd snort some low grade heroin off a hooker's rump, to follow that by lighting a Cuban cigar with a hundred dollar bill. Ahhhh, the good life.

So Premonition took in a decent amount for the weekend, (It's possible that Sony will find some more money and make it the #2 of the week), but Dead Silence and I Think I Love My Wife didn't fare so well. Dead Silence should have courted a bigger fan base, with the Saw guys' pedigree involved, but it was foolish to open it this close to 300. And I Think I Love My Wife got the best reviews of the week, but still could barely make anything.
It's a shame, for I hear this is a good film, and not nearly as stupid as most people have presumed it to be.

In other news, Bridge to Teribethia is doing quite well from week to week, barely dropping in the percentage from the previous week. Way to keep it out in theaters. Well done.

And in the "Because It's There" series: Pan's Labyrinth took in $424,000 on 376 screens, bringing it's grand total to $36,177,000 in 12 weeks.

There you have my break down. Next week, we get a bunch more movies vying for the coveted #1 spot, and the glory of saying "We beat 300!". My money would be on the mutant ninja turtles, but with R-rated glory being the buzz these days, it's possible that Mark Wahlberg's Shooter will take it. Or, perhaps the gods will smile upon 300 for another week. Only time will tell.

Until next weekend....

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Ripped From The Headlines

This was on the IMDB news section:

"Some 16 cities around the country named Springfield are vying to host the premiere of the movie version of The Simpsons in July. Azell Murphy Cavaan, community relations director for Springfield, MA, told that city's The Republican newspaper, that the city was "really excited and ready" to participate. "There's so much heavy news that we deal with every day; a chance to have some fun is what we need," Cavaan said. But while Springfield may be ready to welcome the Simpsons, a city named Bloomfield has no intention of welcoming the Sopranos. The New Jersey town denied a filming permit to the mob drama's producers who had wanted to shoot a scene at an old-fashioned ice cream parlor. The mayor and members of the city council say they object to the way Italian-Americans are depicted in the TV series."

There are a couple of things about this item that disturb the peaceful frame of mind I was in. Let's begin with the segue. There is no logical connection between these two separate events aside from the word "field". And maybe if you take into consideration both shows air on Sunday nights. But in no realm whatsoever should these two stories be reported together. this is shenanigans. Everybody get a broom.

Now lets get down to the crux of the matter: Bloomfield mayor and members of the city council object to the way Italian-Americans are portrayed on the show. This is a town that practically shuts down when the Sopranos airs. At the pizzeria I used to deliver for, the owner Tony would close the store to watch it. He had a bunch of pictures of Tony Soprano on the wall, alongside the little league team the pizzeria sponsored. He's as stereotypical an Italian-American as you'll ever meet in your life. And most everybody else in that town worships at the feet of Gandolfini. Am I painting the picture vivid enough?

So what the hell is going on here?

Box Office Report 3-11-07: Balance and Peace. (And Violence)

Dude here again, and finally I am happy. Why am I happy? Because for all my whining and about a lack of balance in the world, especially with regard to the weekend box office numbers, it came back three-fold. Finally, a movie deserving of the obscene amounts of money it makes.

This weekend, we had one movie in wide release. Why only one? Because the others were afraid. And they have every right to be. For this weekend, we dine in hell! Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates, the actuals will be available on Monday. Just to prove me wrong).

1. 300 (WB) - $70.0, 3103 screens, week 1, $70.0 total

2. Wild Hogs (BV)- $28.0, 3296 screens, week 2, $77.4 total

3. Bridge to Terabithia (BV) - $6.865, 3210 screens, week 4, $67.0 total

4. Ghost Rider (Sony) - $6.8, 3347 screens, week 4, $104.1 total

5. Zodiac (Par)- $6.77, 2379 screens, week 2, $23.7 total

6. The Number 23 (NL) - $4.33, 2489 screens, week 3, $30.48 total

7. Norbit (DW) - $4.3, 2505 screens, week 5, $88.3 total

8. Music and Lyrics (WB) - $3.8, 2280 screens, week 4, $43.8 total

9. Breach (Uni) - $2.6, 1505 screens, week 4, $29.1 total

10. Amazing Grace (IDP) - $2.5, 1000 screens, week 3, $11.4 total

Ok, those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means 300 kicked even more arse than I had previously imagined. TO be perfectly honest, I think the numbers blew everyone's mind. At least those involved with the production. Most predictions were being kind when they initially estimated this, putting it in the high 20s, maybe even mid 30s. It should be noted that on it's first day of release, 300 took in nearly $28 million. Not bad. With no competition, this movie destroyed. It also now claims the biggest March opening of all time, squeaking by last year's Ice Age 2. (However, if the estimate is higher, and the cume is less than the Ice Age 2 opening weekend, I'm sure man will claim it as the biggest non sequel March opening of all time. People like their titles and records).

The success of 300 has led me to believe a couple of things. Firstly, I believe that every movie theater should be required to have a screen that solely plays Zach Snyder movies. This way, a theater can never say "We're not showing anything good." Because they will always have a good movie playing. The second repercussion should be that we're forced to speak like Gerard Butler's character at work. All week. At least, that's what I'm gonna do. Because I'm awesome like that.

Wild Hogs continued with a strong second week, dropping only 29% from last week. This one should be around for awhile making money behind our backs without even realizing it, until one day when you're in line for Spider-man 3 and you look at the box office marquee and realize, "Wow, Wild Hogs is STILL playing? People must like John Travolta in leather."

In other news, Ghost Rider officially became the first 2007 release to break $100 million dollars. Yay!

And in the "Because It's There" series: The Korean monster movie/domestic drama The Host took in $320,000 on 71 screens, bringing it's grand total to $320,000 in 1 week.

There you have my break down. Next week, we see if 300 can continue it's momentum, which it rightly should. But we have a bunch of new movies trying to unseat the mighty Spartan warriors. I smell blood.

Until next weekend....

Saturday, March 10, 2007

A funny story of spam

Normally, I find it futile to pontificate (read: bitch and moan) about most internet related items. I accept them as an inevitability, and find that if I don't even bother expending energy on them, they'll just go away. Besides, that negative energy can go towards hating obnoxious drivers who shoot down the exit only lanes only to cut in front of you, people who try to convince you that "The Secret" is awesome, and Rachel Ray.

(I mean, really, you can't just go and create a word like "Stoup" that covers the grey line between soup and stew. C'mon, lady! Who are you trying to fool? It's not like you took two words and made them bossome! You're describing a culinary miscarriage, where you're really too damn proud to admit you made the stew too thin.)

It's ok, I just took the meds.

So, normally I check my email a good sixteen, seventeen times a day. And I get a lot of spam because of my prediliction towards porn sites when I was much younger. (No such thing as free porn, I tell you.*). Yahoo is kind enough to provide my age old account with a "Bulk Mail" folder, that most spam mail goes to, but sometimes, a few slip through the cracks and I get to see who's trying to sell me on great investment deals or trying to milk me out of my paypal account. (which is non-existent, but sometimes I have to remind myself about that).

Sometimes I read them, especially the ones where the deposed prince needs MY help to bring funds into the country. I wonder how many people have actually fallen for that. Then I think about those hapless thieves who have to sift through the hundreds of responses from idiots who don't even have $20 in their bank account. I guess the world really is about balance.

Yesterday, I received a very interesting spam mail. It's not so much the content of the message (although that adds an extra added level of wackiness juice to the proceedings). It was who it was from. It said it was from one Allison Engle. Fully aware that about half the readership of this site will find it humorous instantly (which is sad because that number is 4), I shall enllighten.

Allison Engel was a girl I went to grade through high school with. I actually had quite a large crush on the girl that I never made public, pretty much to anyone until much later in life. (Even she doesn't know). I was all set to ask her to junior prom when Jessica Rice snapped me up first with an offer I couldn't refuse. (Seriously, people, we saw Die Hard after prom. Try and tell me your prom was better). Later in life I saw her run out of my local pub back in Montclair one night, but thought chasing after her was kinda creepy. I tried to see Allison at the high school reunion back in October, but she was in Arizona. (Although, in a weird, Celestine Prophecy-esque coincidence, I saw my friend Bill "Balls" Bradley back home, and his lady friend was really good friends with Allison.)

Wait a minute, is Arizona closer to LA than New Jersey? Hmmm......

So, when my eyes spy a message from Allison Engle, I got a little excited. It was only after I realized the headline "Bigger then Its better parlay aid" wasn't exactly friendly that crushing disappointment would rear it's ugly and all-too-familiar head. Humiliation soon set in, as I discovered that my high school crush Allison was trying to sell me on Male enhancement aids.

It's oddly fitting that a girl I once had a crush on would be sending me email about my lack of manhood. Especially in these trying times. It just lends more credence to my ongoing theory that even my dreams are turning against me. Which would be frightening and all the more tragic if it wasn't so damn funny.

So, thank you Allison, for reminding me that I am not a man at all. I sigh in your direction.

(But if you should read this, feel free to give me a call, I really have no problem whatsoever in that department. It's the TALKING to girls part I have the problem with).

*Ok, there is such a thing as free porn. Want proof? On my deliveries throughout LA, I managed to get myself to deliver to Playboy Entertainment. It doesn't sound nearly as cool as one would think, but this time around, upon delivering to the reasonably cute receptionist, she asks me if I want a magazine. I say sure. So, I did, in fact, receive free porn. Of course, her handing me a magazine of naked women was not the greatest segue into me asking the girl if I cuold use the bathroom, but as we all well know, my awkwardness knows no bounds.)

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

I'm not the only one.

John August, celebrated screenwriter of "Go", "Charlie's Angels", "Big Fish", and assorted other films is a smart man. A good man. And above all, a man who agrees with me.

Sunday, March 04, 2007

Box Office Report 3-4-07: My disappointment continues...

Dude here again, with an abbreviated look at the box office numbers this weekend. Partially because I'm far away from my home in sunny LA (freezing body parts off in Aspen, CO at the US Comedy Festival), and partially because it's yet another week where the taste of the audience disappoints me.

This weekend, we had three wide releases, one of which made an obscene amount of money. Again, it's a little TOO much money for a movie like this. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates, the actuals will be available on Monday. Just to prove me wrong).

1. Wild Hogs (BV)- $38.0, 3287 screens, week 1, $38.0 total

2. Zodiac (Par)- $13.1, 2362 screens, week 1, $13.1 total

3. Ghost Rider (Sony) - $11.5, 3608 screens, week 3, $94.757 total

4. Bridge to Terabithia (BV) - $8.587, 3159 screens, week 3, $57.889 total

5. The Number 23 (NL) - $7.05, 2759 screens, week 2, $24.68 total

6. Norbit (DW) - $6.4, 2827 screens, week 4, $82.95 total

7. Music and Lyrics (WB) - $4.895, 2644 screens, week 3, $38.68 total

8. Black Snake Moan (ParV) - $4.0, 1252 screens, week 1, $4.0 total

9. Reno 911!: Miami (Fox) - $3.75, 2702 screens, week 2, $16.4 total

10. Breach (Uni) - $3.48, 1498 screens, week 3, $25.4 total

Ok, those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that if I make a movie about a motorcycle, people will come. Following two weeks of Ghost Rider, the people spoke and decided that want not one, but FOUR guys on motorcycles, none of whom are dead or working for the devil. (though many a joke could be made about the actor's careers, but that would be pointless given the $38 million take). Wild Hogs is your number one movie. I hope you're proud of yourself.

David Fincher's Zodiac opened, but not a lot of people have seen it. Despite receiving some great reviews, audiences didn't feel they needed to see this movie as much as the desire to see men on motorcycles. Same goes for Sam Jackson's second movie in a row to include the word "Snake" in the title, though this one seems to be of a far higher quality. (Even if you can't beat a snake on a plane. See that? I STILL manage to bring the movie up whenever possible).

And sadly, The Number 23 made more than $23 million dollars, ruining any and all hope for a freaky "coincidence" involving said number, that I am very sick of.

And in the "Because It's There" series: Best Foreign Language Film winner The Lives of Others took in $808,000 on 112 screens, bringing it's grand total to $2,347,000 in 4 weeks.

(It should be noted that Lives of Others, Happy Feet, and The Last King of Scotland were the only Oscar winning films that received significant boosts due to the winning of awards.)

There you have my break down. Next week, prepare to have your junk kicked hard core with the release of 300. Spartans, eat hearty. For tonight, we dine in hell!

Until next weekend....

Saturday, March 03, 2007

A new Mutant Ninja Turtle movie?

I've been catching some of these ads for the new CGI Mutant Ninja Turtle movie. It seems thta Shredder is not involved, though, which is confounding. On top of which, I was remembering how pretty damn terrific the animatronic Mutant Ninja Turtle outfits were in the early 90s. It's tough to beat the Jim Henson company. Those were terrific.

Man, I'm getting old.

Oh, on a completely unrelated note, last week's Lost, with Hurly as the focus, was outstanding. Definitely felt old school, like first season. And the dynamics between Hurly, Charlie, Jin and Sawyer was great. I couldn't stop laughing, much to the chagrin of those around me.

Friday, March 02, 2007

Someplace warm... where the beer flows like wine

I'm in Aspen, Colorado at the US Comedy Festival!

Sadly, my comedic hijinks and shenanigans are limited to passing out hot chocolate to random people. (Including "Chloe" from 24, which is kinda neat, along with Last Comic Standing winner Josh Blue).

I have a lot of funny stories that I shall compile when the time comes, but I will say this: I fuckin hate snow.