Monday, February 25, 2008

More Oscar Extravbonanza!!!

More than anything, the only award that mattered to me was Glen Hansard and Markéta Irglová winning for Falling Slowly. And then that nice, classy move of bringing Irglová back on stage afterwards to say what she was gonna say. Goddamn that made me happy.

Second place was Diablo Cody. That girl just does it for me. (On an HDTV, that tattoo of hers is BOSSOME!)

In searching for pictures of Diablo Cody (not that I'm starting to stalk her or anything) I came across this lovely picture. Notice the shirt. Then notice the shirt in the tiny picture of me and Glen Hansard at the top.

It's totally a sign. Just sayin...

Box Office: Oscar Weekend Extravbonanza!

Dude here again. The Oscars are tonight. (Or last night, if you read this on Monday). But it's not like they matter anyway, because the only movie of any merit and importance ever came out THIS year. I speak, of course, of Rambo. So when all those awards are handed out, and the envelopes are empty, know that next year a storm is coming. A storm named Rambo!

This weekend, four more movies opened, and only one did any well. There's also a lot of close calls that will prove these numbers inaccurate by tomorrow anyway. Like my little disclaimer always says. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday. Just to prove this column wrong).

1. Vantage Point (Sony)- $24.0, 3149 screens, week 1, $24.0 total

2. Jumper (Fox) - $12.65, 3430 screens, week 2, $56.2 total

3. The Spiderwick Chronicles (Par) - $12.60, 3847 screens, week 2, $43.5 total

4. Step Up 2 The Streets (BV)- $9.7, 2480 screens, week 2, $41.4 total

5. Fool's Gold (WB) - $6.2, 3075 screens, week 3, $52.4 total

6. Definitely, Maybe (Uni) - $5.1, 2220 screens, week 2, $21.7 total

7. Be Kind, Rewind (NL) - $4.1, 808 screens, week 1, $4.1 total

8. Juno (FoxS) - $4.1, 1727 screens, week 12, $130.3 total

9. Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins (Uni) - $3.9, 1873 screens, week 3, $35.4 total

10. There WIll Be Blood (Par Van) - $2.5, 1402 screens, week 9, $34.9 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? It means pretty much exactly what it states. Vantage Point took in twice as much as the next place movie, which is Jumper, which, I don't know if you've seen it, but is just a giant, terrible mess of a motion picture. Vantage Point I am wholly indifferent to, and plan on forgetting the film's existence in about 4 weeks then never remember it again until it comes on cable some night.

Be Kind, Rewind performed poorly, which truly is a shame because it's a lot of fun and deserves to be seen by more people. Oh, the estimate given for both Be Kind and Juno was exactly the same, but I'd expect a bump for Juno. (Note: After I wrote this, that Diablo Cody girl who wrote Juno -and whom I'm told is single, so hopefully she'll cast her fetching eye my way- won an Academy Award. I'd expect the Juno numbers to be a little higher. Just sayin). Also in a heated dispute are Spiderwick, and terrible Jumper movie. And There Will Be Blood seemed to be fighting it out with The Bucket List.

Seriously. The Bucket List. While we all slept, that movie has made almost $85 million.

Not making anywhere $85 million was Witless Protection, a "comedy" starring that Larry the Cable Guy... guy. Somehow, this is his third starring role in a motion picture. Anyway, it made just over $2 million on 1333 screens. I don't know what else to say about this. Also, Charlie Bartlett, another movie of some kind that may or may not feature Robert Downey Jr. , opened up just below Witless Protection. I'm just confounded.

And in the "Because It's Rambo" series: Rambo, took in $590,000 on 727 screens, bringing it's grand total to $41,698,000 in 5 weeks.

There you have my break down. Next week, Will Ferrel does the arrogant sports jerk with funny hair routine, which is always good for a chuckle. Also, watch as No Country For Old Men pops on to the top ten, as it just won the Best Picture Oscar.

Until next weekend....

Monday, February 18, 2008

Box Office Blah Blah Blah....

Dude here again. I apologize for another truncated box office report, but I just moved all my stuff into a new apartment that's being difficult with the internet service. Thank goodness for the fine folks at the Coral Cafe, who provide amazing food at good prices, and whether they realize it or not, free wifi.

This weekend, four new movies opened up, on a Thursday, for some weird reason. And that knocks Rambo out of the top ten. Which is not cool. Seriously. Think about what you've done. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates, the actuals will be available on Monday, or maybe Tuesday because of a holiday. Just to prove me wrong).

1. Jumper (Fox) - $27.2, 3428 screens, week 1, $33.8 total

2. Step Up 2 The Streets (BV)- $19.6, 2470 screens, week 1, $26.2 total

3. The Spiderwick Chronicles (Par) - $19.0, 3847 screens, week 1, $21.3 total

4. Fool's Gold (WB) - $13.0, 3125 screens, week 2, $42.0 total

5. Definitely, Maybe (Uni) - $9.6, 2204 screens, week 1, $12.8 total

6. Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins (Uni) - $8.8, 2387 screens, week 2, $29.1 total

7. Juno (FoxS) - $4.6, 1865 screens, week 11, $124.0 total

8. The Bucket List (WB) - $4.1, 2307 screens, week 8, $81.0 total

9. Hannah Montana... Concert Tour (BV)- $3.2, 685 screens, week 3, $58.4 total

10. 27 Dresses (Fox) - $3.1, 1936 screens, week 5, $69.9 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? It means Anakin Skywalker can open a movie without being Anakin Skywalker, even if Mace Windu is spending the movie kicking his ass. (Man, I love Star Wars). It also means that something called Step Up 2 The Streets can sell a lot of tickets, when what the public truly wants, neigh, NEEDS, is You Got Served... Again!

Spiderwick Chronicles opened up to decent numbers, and might prove to be profitable in the upcoming weeks, but I think fantasy films, specifically those based on children's fantasy novels, are fading from popular opinion, regardless of the quality. (Spiderwick seems to be the best reviewed of this week's flicks.) And Definitely, Maybe kinda, sorta, didn't do all that great, no doubt inspiring countless writers far more talented than me to come up with a pun on the title far below their talent that's still far more decent than my "Kinda, sorta" quip. (It's been a long week, kids, bear with me).

Below the top ten, George A. Romero's Diary of the Dead took in $225,000 on 42 screens. I'd like to point out my happiness (For the Hitchhiker's Guide significance) at the number of screens being 42.

And in the "Because It's There" series: The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, a movie that made me weep worse than a 9 year old, second-place beauty pageant contestant, took in $354,000 on 181 screens, bringing it's grand total to $4,843,000 in 12 weeks.

There you have my break down. Next week, more movies open. My pancakes are here, so I'm gonna go knock these out. Then drink heavily. So my new neighbors will know what they're getting themselves into.

Until next weekend....

Thursday, February 14, 2008

In case anyone wants...

This will show you the new Indiana Jones trailer.

And, I'm finally allowing myself to get a little excited about it.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Diary of the Dead

Whoa is me. Today is a sad day. It is with great sadness, and a heavy heart, that I report to you the latest film from George A. Romero, George A. Romero's Diary Of The Dead, is not a very good movie. Bear in mind that I love Dawn of the Dead beyond anything, and I also actually found Land of the Dead to be damn entertaining. So it's worth noting that this is a major misstep backwards for Romero, which is a damn shame.

Diary of the Dead is a major misfire of an idea that should have been cool. It's basically a first person telling of the beginning of the zombie uprising. It's told from home video camera, security camera feeds, and news clips uploaded from "the net". It's similar in execution to Cloverfield, and the results are also quite similar. In fact, I could grab my Cloverfield review, hit Find/Replace on the titles, and you'd have pretty much the same review for Diary of the Dead. And the tragic problem in both pictures? The lead characters.

Once again, we're treated to nameless twenty-something who are the most obnoxious, selfish, moronic people on Earth. Seriously. I don't understand how these movies continue to present the stories of people I can't stand to be around in real life. Their plight just isn't as dramatic, and it takes too long for me to want them to be zombie fodder.

The characters in Diary of the Dead are horrible people AND are uninteresting, to boot. There's the main guy, I think his name is Jason. He never stops filming the events, because he's a true documentary filmmaker, unless it's to upload his images on his MySpace page. (72,000 hits in the past 24 hours!!!). He doesn't even put the camera down when his girlfriend gets attacked by her zombie brother. That's true love for you. The girl isn't any better, as she is the de facto "narrator" of the film, who never lets a moment lie on the screen without commenting on it in the most on the nose fashion possible. Then there's a guy who looks like Karl Urban, but without the nuance. Really made me wish Karl Urban was in this movie.

There are, however, some interesting side characters that make you long for a movie about them instead. There's a group of survivors who are more than happy that they have some power. And there's the greatest Amish character to ever grace the screen. I wanted to watch a movie about him, and only him. The five minutes he shows up in the film made me love the movie. But then it was back to the whiny brats.

I wanted to like this movie a lot. Romero always paints a great, zombie infested world smothered in subtle social satire. This time around, he practically hits you over the head with it. And what he has to say doesn't seem all that fresh. There's also a major fundamental flaw with the flick: It presupposes a world where zombies have never existed. (I assume, because the tool boxes with the cameras were making a mummy movie, that mummies have captured the nation's attention the way zombies have now). A novel idea that's impossible to swallow, due to the work of the man who now presents us this... motion picture experience.

Diary of the Dead is a severely flawed movie that, like the other recent first person footage horror film, works well on paper but fails horribly in execution. While there are a few things to admire (The Amish guy is almost worth the price of admission alone), the concept would work much better with characters who are actually, you know, worth spending your time with. A sad misstep for Romero, but one that makes me think if he were to continue along this way, that something good might come from it.
(Image from a much better zombie movie)

UPDATED: Now HERE'S where the future of Zombie movies should be headed. Not a "rebooting" where nobody knows what a zombie is.

Box Office Report: This weekend

Dude here again. I get to fulfill a lifelong dream and be in a ninja movie later today, so this is going to be a truncated report. And I know that half the time when I say things like this, it just sounds like nonsense, but I am telling the absolute truth.

This weekend, McConaughey rules all by just taking off his shirt. (No bongo drums involved whatsoever) Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates, the actuals will be available on Monday. Just to prove me wrong).

1. Fool's Gold (WB) - $22.0, 3125 screens, week 1, $22.0 total

2. Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins (Uni) - $17.1, 2386 screens, week 1, $17.1 total

3. Hannah Montana... Concert Tour (BV)- $10.5, 687 screens, week 2, $53.3 total

4. The Eye (LGF)- $6.6, 2470 screens, week 2, $21.5 total

5. Juno (FoxS) - $5.72, 2321 screens, week 10, $117.6 total

6. 27 Dresses (Fox) - $5.70, 2841 screens, week 4, $65.3 total

7. The Bucket List (WB) - $5.3, 2753 screens, week 7, $75.0 total

8. Rambo (LGF) - $4.1, 2717 screens, week 3, $36.5 total

9. Meet The Spartans (Fox) - $4.07, 2446 screens, week 3, $33.9 total

10. There WIll Be Blood (Par V) - $4.07, 1620 screens, week 7, $26.7 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? It means precisely what I said about Matty McC (as I like to call him, much to my spell-check's happiness) and his ability to draw folks in with his charms. It's a shame because the movie looks like Sahara 2, with Kate Hudson in the Steve Zahn role. and that's just not that appealing to me, but it was to at least $22 million of people.

Let's see, what else... Roscoe Jenkins was welcomed home to a nice amount. Martin Lawrence still draws folks in. Hannah Montana thing dropped a large amount, but it was never intended to be a large scale, long term release, so now it's all just more lining for studios pockets. And Rambo is making more money, which is good because that movie owns you. And you know it.

Below the top ten, the Paris Hilton led The Hottie and the Nottie opened up on 111 screens and took in roughly $25,000. Which means about 25 people per location actually paid money to see The Hottie and the Nottie. And yet, it's still a better performance over that Jessica Simpson flick that opened a few months ago.

And in the "Because It's There" series: The Orphanage took in took in $172,000 on 98 screens, bringing it's grand total to $6,737,000 in 7 weeks.

There you have my break down. Next week some other movies open. All on Valentine's Day, for some stupid reason, as if people have that day off. Buncha jerks.

Friday, February 08, 2008

Lost Speak: 2-8-08

Fuck yeah, Lawnmower Man! And dude from the first Saw movie, ghost whispering for cash! And whenever Jeremy Davies shows up, I know something unsettling is about to happen. Don't believe me? Check out Ravenous, then Solaris. Dude showing up is just bad news. I'm enjoying Lost thus far, and I'm kind of upset to see it wrapping up. (Even though we get three more seasons, still.)


Sunday, February 03, 2008

Box Office Report: Super Bowl Weekend!

Dude here again. Rage has subsided from last week's report. I'm sorry, but that Spartans movie just irritates me. But there's always a silver lining. And another target of my rage. But I feel I used up all my venom between Spartans and that Alvin movie, that it's time to take a step back and a deep breath. And relax. Which I have done.

This weekend, a concert movie featuring Disney superstars took the nation by storm. But I'm not going to let them disturb my peaceful frame of mind. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates, the actuals will be available on Monday. Just to prove me wrong).

1. Hannah Montana... Concert Tour (BV)- $29.00, 683 screens, week 1, $29.0 total

2. The Eye (LGF)- $13.0, 2436 screens, week 1, $13.0 total

3. 27 Dresses (Fox) - $8.4, 2976 screens, week 3, $57.1 total

4. Juno (FoxS) - $7.4, 2475 screens, week 9, $110.2 total

5. Meet The Spartans (Fox) - $7.1, 2643 screens, week 2, $28.3 total

6. Rambo (LGF) - $7.0, 2764 screens, week 2, $29.7 total

7. The Bucket List (WB) - $6.8, 2915 screens, week 6, $67.6 total

8. Untraceable (ScrGms) - $5.4, 2368 screens, week 2, $19.4 total

9. Cloverfield (Par) - $4.9, 3007 screens, week 3, $71.9 total

10. There WIll Be Blood (Par V) - $4.7, 1507 screens, week 6, $21.1 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? It means that the Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour made an obscene amount of money. It was originally supposed to play for only one week, but the staggering success has apparently extended the run another week. The concert movie made over $42,000 per screen. It is also apparently "the biggest Super Bowl Weekend" release ever, including the week that Titanic movie played. But that's not going to bother me.

The Eye came in second place, proving that Jessica Alba is... I just don't know how to finish that sentence. That 27 Dresses movie is performing pretty strong. And way to go, Juno! And it looks like Rambo is actually taking in more money than the Spartans. See? I'm being positive!

Below the top ten, two other wide releases opened up and took in little money. Over Her Dead Body, with Paul Rudd and a desperate housewife, took in $4.6 million. And Strange Wilderness, with Steve Zahn of all people, took in a little more than $3 million. Neither had favorable reviews, and both will disappear shortly.

And in the "Because It's There" series: Michael Clayton took in took in $1,770,000 on 1010 screens, bringing it's grand total to $44,163,000 in 18 weeks.

There you have my break down. Next week we see if the Montana crowd keeps at it. While some other movie opens.

Until next weekend....