Thursday, November 14, 2013

LAST DAY TO VOTE FOR M IS FOR MESSIAH

LAST DAY!!! LAST DAY!!! LAST DAY!!! LAST DAY TO VOTE for M Is For Messiah!

After a month of bothering you all, the end of it is nigh! We thank you all for your support thus far, and for those who haven't yet, we're thanking you in advance!

Voting ends TONIGHT at 11:55 EST. (8:55 pacific!)

GO to the link. WATCH the flick! VOTE for it. (It's the little Facebook LIKE button ABOVE the video player)! And please SHARE it with your friends, family etc on all your social medium if you can!

WATCH, VOTE, SHARE, LOVE!!! THANKS!!!!

http://26th.abcsofdeathpart2.com/entry/m-is-for-messiah-2/

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

M Is For Messiah - Vote Now!

The ABCs of Death Part 2 is having another contest. Last year, my friend Shane Free's short made it to the final 5! This year, I've gone ahead (with the help of a script courtesy of R. Bill Mountain) and made an entry titled (as you have guessed)... M Is For Messiah!

So I entered, and now here is what I need to ask from you: If it gets the most votes, and then is chosen, our short will be a part of a feature film distributed worldwide! 

 All you have to do is 1. Click on the link and watch it 2. "Like" it on Facebook to vote 3. Share it! http://26th.abcsofdeathpart2.com/entry/m-is-for-messiah-2/

Lather, rinse repeat! How's that for a slice of fried gold?

So please enjoy, and please share with others! Thanks for rockin'!

Wednesday, October 09, 2013

All The Boys Love Mandy Lane: The Lost Review


Hi everybody! So, as you may remember, I used to write awesome reviews of flicks for Moviesonline.ca back in the day. It was a fun gig, even if I was pretty lazy at it. (Just look at how easy the cut-and-paste box office reports I used to write were!).

But 5 & 1/2 years ago I began writing a review for a much buzzed-about indie horror flick. I began writing the evening after I saw the film (probably while high) but stopped short due to the fact that the release date had been pushed back several months. Anyone who knows the fate of this movie knows what happened next, where the release kept getting pushed, then owing the distributor, then looking like it would never come out at all.

(Fun fact, this prompted one of my best moments over at Movieline when Amber Heard came out as gay, I immediately quipped "Oh sure, she comes out yet All The Boys Love Mandy Lane still hasn't!" one of my prouder quick thinking jokes, but I digress).

Anyhow, I'm looking at the schedule of new releases this weekend and happen upon a certain movie that is FINALLY getting a release! I have vague recollections of the flick, but I dug deep into the archives and found my review, which I would greatly like to share with all of you now. The review hasn't been touched since October 26th, 2010, but was created on February 27th, 2008, just to give you an idea of how long it's been. (I even remember talking with a friend on my way to the screening, and she was telling me how she had just seen a rough cut of Benjamin Button because she had to start making the trailer!)

Aside from this intro, which is considerably longer than the review itself, it is as I wrote it, which is why it will end so abruptly. 

I will say this much about the flick in hindsight. I seem to recall the hype surrounding the film being a bit overblown, but I do recall that I thought it was decently directed by Jonathan Levine and that Amber Heard was both gorgeous and was gonna be huge, and I think I've been proven correct on both fronts. As the myth of this film grew (because nobody saw it) so did everybody's opinion of it. It didn't redefine any genres, it was just a nicely done story told well with competence. And looking back at my records, I see that I had seen Diary of the Dead a few weeks prior, which might also explain my higher opinion of the flick.

Again, I digress...

So without further padding out of an imaginary word count, here is The Dude's official review of All The Boys Love Mandy Lane:
 ****************************



The best is the foreign bit at the bottom!

All The Boys Love Mandy Lane might very well be the greatest After School Special imaginable. It warns teens of the dangers of excessive drinking, pot smoking, and premarital sex. And those dangers are gruesome deaths exacted by a psychopath who may or may not, as the title suggests, love Mandy Lane.

Mandy Lane (Amber Heard) seems to be the most popular girl in school. Mostly because she's developed into a hottie. But she still retains that bit of cool that she had before she developed, much to the chagrin of said all boys. The movie begins with a party Mandy is suddenly invited to, while her best friend Duckie, I mean Emmit, loves her from afar. Then Emmit convinces Dylan, some blond preppy asshole, to do something crazy for the attention of Ms. Lane. This ends badly.

Cut to the end of junior year, and Mandy is invited up to a secluded ranch for a weekend of debauchery with what seems the perfect cross check of high school cliches. (The jerk, the jealous hot chick, the less hot slut who feels the need to put out, the football player, and the stoner). As the title suggests, all the boys want to get with Ms. Lane, and as I previously mentioned, all these folks may or may not meet a tragic ending.

I enjoyed All The Boys Love Mandy Lane. It's far from a perfect film, but with regards to other films of this ilk, it's pretty damn good. The characters didn't annoy me as much as they have in recent horror films (*cough DIARYOFTHEDEAD cough*), and the actors are fair to decent. The best, naturally, is Mandy Lane herself, Amber Heard. She proves that, like her character, there's more going on inside then the pretty (damn hot) exterior would lead you to believe.

Tuesday, October 01, 2013

Something amazing is coming...


It's coming soon...

Hopefully next week...

And it has something to do with this picture...

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Fear The Barfitron!



The latest twisted tale of terror from the sick mind of MD Payne! Now with more barf!

Thursday, June 27, 2013

They should just call it "Furious 6: Fuck Physics!!!"

Because that's what it was. Glorious physics-defying nonsense.




And I loved every moment of it.

Monday, May 20, 2013

Iron Man's good, Star Trek's good, Oblivion's good...

Those are the only theatrical flicks I've seen since Spring Breakers. I enjoyed each one. I found them all entertaining, visually pleasing, and not overly long or serious.

If I were to choose a "best" out of them, the edge goes to Iron Man, only because he's barely Iron Man at all, and halfway through it kinda becomes Lethal Weapon 5. Star Trek was damn entertaining, but there was something I felt lacking, though this could be due to the headache the 3D Lie-max produced.

And Oblivion was fun in a sterile 70s sci-fi way, even if I liked it better when it was called Moon.

Anyway, that's what I feel about that. Catching up on flicks, I really liked Cloud Atlas and The Guilt Trip, mostly because I viewed them on a plane and they distracted me from flying. (Even if a plane explodes in Cloud Atlas). And if you haven't seen A Perfect Getaway yet, do so. Highly entertaining.

That's what I got. Here's a picture of MacGruber.

Monday, April 29, 2013

Love In The Time Of Monsters Teaser!!

Check this out! It was made by some good folks with their heads and hearts in the right place! Plus, they made what looks like an awesome flick!

Friday, April 26, 2013

Brilliance kneels before Zod

This is Michael Shannon (the actor who's in the new Superman, not friend of the blog who might be in the new Superman, I don't know it's been awhile since I've spoken with him) reading a letter from a sorority.

It's fantastic. And contains cuss words.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

I finally saw some movies



Totally late on some of these, as they're mostly gone from theaters, but figured why not:

The Last Stand
Silly, slow, and stupid, I still enjoyed myself, even though it's a depressing reminder that the heroes of our youth get old and frightening looking. Still, this movie has some fun parts, but that may have been because I saw it with some friends (2 whom were named Jack and Daniels) and we were the only ones in the theater, so we could be jerks and make Forest Whitaker lazy eye jokes. (Seriously did that. I'm not too proud about it). Worth the rental, at the least.

Bullet To The Head
Wow. Now this feels like an 80s Stallone throwback, where nothing makes any sense, there are pointless scenes of awesome violence, the only dialogue spoken is expository (Seriously, the whole movie) and "witty" one liners you know Stallone came up with that nobody had the heart to tell him they weren't funny. This movie was something special. I can't even recall anything from this movie at all, but I know I enjoyed myself and it's retardation.

Side Effects
Surprised by this neat little thriller. They don't quite make them like this anymore. It felt like one of those early 90's "sexually tinged" thrillers, like Final Analysis or Malice. The less you know about the plot the better, as it's fun to enjoy the ride. Steven Soderbergh continues to surprise me with his movies lately. Hope this retirement thing he keeps bringing up is just a phase.

Life of Pi (in 3D!)
RICHARD PAH-KER!!!!  While not quite the life changing, make you believe in God, 3-D successor to Avatar I was led to believe, I found myself totally drawn into the tale of Pi as he survives a shipwreck in a lifeboat with a tiger and the elements constantly surrounding him. It's genuinely moving, with some great performances and astounding visuals. Ang Lee really did deserve his Best Director for this, as I could have atchd another hour of this tale.





If only...

Olympus Has Fallen





It opens AND closes on images of the American flag while the snare drum rattles off underneath. In between is a movie of such staggering violence and ugliness that it takes away from any inherent "fun" allowed by such a premise. That being said, there's totally an awesome line in this movie that is actually uttered by a human being: "I'm going to stick my knife in your brain."

Spring Breakers
Still processing this one. It's Harmony Korine's latest flick, it's his most mainstream movie to date (though that's not saying too much) and depending on how you look at it can be a vapid exploitation crime thriller capitalizing on the premise of Disney girls shedding their former image, or a bleak portrait of a generation of self-entitled young adults that are absolutely the worst. Or something in between, that runs out of steam despite some gorgeous neon soaked imagery and ethereal score by Cliff Martinez. All that matters is there's a ridiculous amount of nudity (It's almost like Piranha 3D without the fish attacks) and that James Franco is sublime.

Wreck-It-Ralph
I totally loved this movie. It might replace Dredd as my favorite movie of last year. I loved everything about it. It made me want to seek out an arcade and play as many cabinet games as I could. Just a great job all around, and a shame that it did not win Best Animated Flick at the Oscars. (For a fun time, play the game!)


Monday, February 25, 2013

Lucy In The Sky With Diamond

Here is an awesome short film I had the pleasure of editing. It's pretty terrific, but some may say it's not quite appropriate for the workplace. 



All I know is the Academy really blew it by not nominating this for everything.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Best/Worst Flicks of 2012

I'm late. I was hoping to catch a few more flicks before time ran out, but then I figured, what the hell? Why not just post this? It's not like anyone reads it anyway.

THE TOP TEN
Ahh, to dream

DREDD 3D

Best movie of the year? Most badass? Most deserving of a sequel? Yes to all of these.

MOONRISE KINGDOM

The best movie that didn't feature a character named Judge Dredd. Wes Anderson, never stop being Wes Anderson.
 
ARGOThe best Best Picture Nominee that doesn't feature a character named Judge Dredd. Solid filmmaking all the way through.

BERNIE
Just a delightful film about a horrible murder. Jack Black deserved more recognition for his great performance.
 
SAFETY NOT GUARANTEED Something about this indie won me over. Others disagree. To hell with them.

THE FIVE YEAR ENGAGEMENTSurprised how much I enjoyed this flick. I didn't want it to end, I was having so much fun spending time with these characters.

WANDERLUST
I don't think I laughed harder in a theater this year than when I saw this. Surprised nobody saw this one.

DJANGO UNCHAINEDIt's Tarantino, but I'm an unabashed fan of his movies. (Even if he is kind of a wanker). This movie is no exception, and is just a blast to sit through until it kills off the most interesting characters and becomes another Tarantino movie. Still, a helluva fun ride.

THE RAIDIt's Dredd without Dredd, plotwise! High octane action, lots of dudes kicking each other... I'm glad they still make movies like this, even if it is in other countries.

THE MAN WITH THE IRON FISTS
The RZA got to make the kung fu movie in his mind. It was half brilliant, half retarded, but a great time nonetheless.

THE ALSO QUITE GOOD (in No Order Whatsoever)
HAYWIRE, THE GREY, SAFE HOUSE, FRIENDS WITH KIDS, 21 JUMP STREET, JEFF WHO LIVES AT HOME, BADASS, THE AVENGERS, THE DICTATOR, MIB 3, SNOW WHITE AND THOR, DARK HORSE, MAGIC MIKE, TED, AMAZING SPIDERMAN, DARK KNIGHT RISES, LAWLESS, HELLO I MUST BE GOING, LOOPER, SEVEN PSYCHOPATHS, SKYFALL, SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK, THE HOBBIT PT 1

SAW ON A PLANE WITH NO SOUND, BUT SEEMED OK
TROUBLE WITH THE CURVE, ARBITRAGE

TERRIBLE MOVIES OF 2012
These movies sucked. But at least there were only 4 of them, which means I'm being more successful in my choices.


TOTAL RECALLUgggghhhhhh. If you're gonna make it, do it right and make it violent. Otherwise, just let Len Wiseman go off someplace else where we don't have to see him anymore.

PIRANHA 3DDTried way too hard to capture the magic of the first, and failed miserably. Perhaps I hold the first one in too high esteem, but it's Rules Of The Game compared to this nonsense.

BEYOND THE BLACK RAINBOWAt least the soundtrack was cool.

PROMETHEUS

Though kinda fascinating and gorgeous to look at, this makes it on here for basically being a dumber Event Horizon, when it should have been a creepy Tree Of Life.

THE MEH FILMS OF 2012
These flicks were just ok, but more disappointing than anything else.

THE MASTER
I've never seen a movie so well acted and shot that I just didn't give a shit about. Until this.

TIM AND ERIC'S BILLION DOLLAR MOVIE
Thought this would be a lot more extreme and weird, like the show. Some jokes were great, some fell way flat.

THE HUNGER GAMES
Buy a fucking tripod! Have faith in the audience, and enjoy the world you're building.

SOUND OF MY VOICE

Again, my viewing of the film was tarnished by the audience I viewed it with, but after seeing Another Earth, I'm convinced the filmmakers are pretentious film students and not genuine filmmakers. 

THESE MOVIES ARE STUPID, BUT I ENJOYED THEM ANYWAY, DEAL WITH IT


ABRAHAM LINCOLN VAMPIRE HUNTER

SAFE

RESIDENT EVIL: RETRIBUTION

DETENTION

JOHN CARTER

EXPENDABLES 2


I HAVEN'T SEEN THESE YET, BUT TO SOME DEGREE WANT TO: (132)

Contraband, Chronicle, Innkeepers, Kill List, Journey 2, Phantom Menace 3D, The Vow, Ghost Rider 2, This Means War, Thin Ice, Act Of Valor, The Lorax, Jiro Dreams of Sushi, Salmon Fishing In THe Yemen, The FP, Casa De Mi Padre, Juan Of The Dead, Seeking Justice, The Deep Blue Sea,  Wrath of the Titans, American Reunion, Titanic 3D,  Damsels In Distress, 3 Stooges, Darling Companion, , The Pirates Band Of Misfits, The Raven, Headhunters, The Best Exotic MArigold Hotel, Dark Shadows, God Bless America, Battleship, The Color Wheel, Lovely Molly, Mansome, The Intouchables, Lola Versus,  Rock of Ages, Thats My Boy, Your Sisters Sister, Brave, Seeking a Friend For The End of the World, To Rome With Love,  Beasts Of The Southern Wild, Take This Waltz, Savages,The Do-Deca Pentathlon, Easy Money, 2016 Obama's America, Red Lights, Queen of Versailles, The Watch, Iron Sky, Killer Joe, Klown, Ruby Sparks, Searching For Sugar Man, Babymakers, Celeste and Jesse Forever, Bourne Legacy, Campaign, Hope Springs, 2 Days In New York, Sleepwalk With Me, ParaNorman, Cosmopolis, Robot and Frank, Hit and Run, Premium Rush, Samsara, The Oogieloves In the BIG Balloon adventure, The day, The Possession, For A Good Time Call, The Cold Light Of Day, The Words, Bachorlette, Branded,  Raiders Of The Lost Ark, Imax, REC 3, Finding Nemo 3D, Liberal Arts, 10 Years, Stolen, End Of Watch, House At The End Of The Street, The Perks of Being a Wallflower , Hotel Transylvania, The Other Dream Team,  Solomon Kane, Frankenweenie, Taken 2, Butter, Fat Kids Rule The World, The Oranges, The Paperboy, VHS, Wake In Fright, MIAMI CONNECTION, Atlas Shrugged Pt 2, Sinister, Smashed, The Sessions, Tai Chi Zero, Cloud Atlas, Silent Hill Revelation 3D, The Loneliest Planet, Flight, Wreck It Ralph, The Bay, A Late Quartet, Holy Motors, The Comedy, Lincoln, Nature Calls, Amour, Anna Kerinana, Price Check, Life of Pi, Red Dawn, Rise of the Guardians, Central Park 5, Rust and BOne, Killing Them Softly, Dragon, The Collection, Universal Soldier, Day of Reckoning, Hyde Park on Hudson, ZERO DARK THIRTY, THIS IS 40, THE GUILT TRIP, JACK REACHER. 

NO INTEREST, BUT MAY SEE FOR THE PAIN OF IT:

The Devil Inside, Twilight: Bullshit, One for the money, Albert Nobbs, Project X, Silent House, A Thousand Words, Mirror Mirror, Bully, What to Expect When You're Expecting, Katy Perry Part of Me 3d, Alex Cross, Paranormal Activity 4, Parental Guidance,