Monday, November 29, 2010

To cheer us up from such a bad day

Why don't we have a Good Day Today?

Good Day Today by threeminutesthirtyseconds

Courtesy of Mr. David Lynch, who may have released my favorite song all year. Of course, it's not like I actually listen to much new music anymore.

Old man, look at my life....

The man who directed the greatest Star Wars movie ever has left us.

Irvin Kershner has gone and left us. First Leslie Neilsen, and now this.

In an odd coincidence, I caught myself watching Empire Strikes Back last night on Spike. Sure, I watched it commercial free about a month ago (while my wife was at her bachelorette party) but it was on, and I have to watch it whenever it's on. It truly is a great film.

The last film Kershner directed was Robocop 2, which isn't anywhere near as good as Empire, or the original Robocop, but it has a strange perverse weirdness to it that makes it worth watching.

Movieline has an awesome tribute article that can express things far more eloquently than I can.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Box Office Report: Yet Another Wizardly Edition

Dude here again. Coming off the holiday weekend. Not too many turkey naps this weekend, and no lunacy shopping at 5 in the morning. Just some nice family, a nice meal, and some black tar heroin.

Wait, what?

This weekend, that little punk wizard continues his domination, despite ample competition that wasn't really competitive at all. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. Harry Potter and the Etc…. (WB)- $50.3, 4125 screens, week 2, $220.3 total

2. Tangled (BV) - $49.1, 3603 screens, week 1, $69.0 total

3. Megamind (DW) - $12.8, 3411 screens, week 4, $130.4 total

4. Burlesque (ScrGms)- $11.8, 3037 screens, week 1, $17.1 total

5. Unstoppable (Fox) $11.7, 3183 screens, week 3, $60.7 total

6. Love and Other Drugs (Fox)- $9.8, 2455 screens, week 1, $14.0 total

7. Faster (CBS) - $8.7, 2454 screens, week 1, $12.2 total

8. Due Date (WB)- $7.3, 2555 screens, week 4, $85.0 total

9. The Next 3 Days (LGF) - $4.8, 2564 screens, week 2, $14.5 total

10. Morning Glory (Par)- $4.0, 2441 screens, week 3, $26.4 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means Harry Potter has managed to capture the top spot for two weeks in a row! A feat not accomplished sine Goblet of Fire was released during the same time period five years ago. For fun, I took out my BO report from that weekend. Here's what I wrote:

"Well, if you're Harry Potter, you took the top once again, to no one else's surprise. It crossed the $200 million mark this weekend, not bad for about ten days of release. I have a feeling next week, it will once again take the crown, then start to lose steam once the Narnia movie and King Kong come out. But I've been wrong in the past, so who knows?"

I could basically take out the words "King Kong" and accurately predict the next two weeks of box office. It's difficult being this awesome sometimes. But well worth it.

Tangled, Disney's latest that isn't a Pixar but is still a computer animated fairy tale, fared quite well in its' first week of release. Almost taking the top spot, even. Not bad, and the lighter tone probably attracted a lot of kids who might have been "too scared" for the Harry Potter. Pussies. But yeah, don't expect Disney to stop making fairy tale movies just because they say they're going to. Because money talks, people.

As for the other new releases.. ouch. Burlesque didn't attract nearly the right amount of ironic viewers to make a significant dent, but not bad. Love and Other Drugs didn't make nearly enough to justify the amount of love and other drugs I had to take to sit through it.

And Faster? Not so fast, Dwayne Johnson. As much as I applaud any movie you star in the contains an R rating AND Billy Bob Thornton, it looks like I'm gonna have to act faster if I want to see this in a theater.

Fun Fact: I clipped my nails in the middle of writing this box office report!

Below the radar, Oscar-bation continues with the release of the heavily hyped The King's Speech, which took in $350,000 on 4 screens, with an amazing $87,500 per screen average. Expect to hear a lot about this one. Also, The Nutcracker 3D opened up on 42 screens and took in $68,000. Pretty bad, but here's another fun fact, it's from the man who directed Tango & Cash, which means I have to track down a theater and see it.

So there, you have my amazing break down. Next week, a whole lotta nothing and one movie about Ninjas in the old west, co-starring Geoffrey Rush, which means it will be spectacular.

Until next weekend....

(All Numbers courtesy of Box Office Mojo)

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Box Office Report: Another Wizardly Edition

Dude here again. Enjoying a fall morning. Poring over some box office numbers, with some green tea, chorizo and toast.

Come join me, won't you?

This weekend, in a stunning upset, Russell Crowe's movie defeats Harry Potter. And then Paul HAggis wakes up to disappointment. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. Harry Potter and the Etc…. (WB)- $125.1, 4125 screens, week 1, $125.1 total

2. Megamind (DW) - $16.1, 3779 screens, week 3, $109.4 total

3. Unstoppable (Fox) $13.1, 3209 screens, week 2, $41.9 total

4. Due Date (WB)- $9.1, 3229 screens, week 3, $72.6 total

5. The Next 3 Days (LGF) - $6.7, 2564 screens, week 1, $6.7 total

6. Morning Glory (Par)- $5.2, 2544 screens, week 2, $19.8 total

7. Skyline (Uni)- $3.4, 2883 screens, week 2, $17.6 total

8. Red (Sum)- $2.4, 2034 screens, week 6, $83.5 total

9. For Colored Girls (LGF) - $2.4, 1216 screens, week 3, $34.5 total

10. Fair Game (Sum) - $1.4, 386 screens, week 3, $3.7 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that if Warner Bros didn't have half a brain, and released the new Harry Potter movie in the half assed 3D conversion we get, it still wouldn't beat that Dark Knight or Twilight record. But it's fun to dream about other people's money.

The Next Three Days, Russell Crowe's latest that I'll probably go see because I think Crowe is a solid actor and I like him in everything, even if the movies he's in aren't that great. But, yeah, a noble effort that was probably unnecessarily quashed.

It's nice to see Fair Game up in the top ten. It's not so nice when you realize it is NOT the Fair Game where Cindy Crawford gets naked.

Fun Fact: Aforementioned Fair Game is based on the same novel that Stallone adapted for his hit vehicle Cobra!

Below the radar, something called Today's Special took in $91,000 on 55 screens, something called Made in Dagenham took in $41,100 on 3 screens, and something called White Material made $36,300, also on 3 screens.

So there, you have my amazing break down. Next week, a whole bunch of new ones come out, including an animated fairy tale, a musical with Cher, and a movie with The Rock, which is all around news for celebration.

Until next weekend....
(All Numbers courtesy of Box Office Mojo)

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

The Thing About Trailers

Trailers, for the most part, are starting to bug me. Part of me wants to blame it on age (Too loud, too many cuts and flashes, it's giving me a headache, etc.) and part of me thinks they give too much away.Either way, I find myself using that trailer time to take an all important last trip to the men's room before the movie starts, so I don't have another Star Trek/Inception incident.

That being said, these are some recently released trailers I've seen that look pretty flippin awesome.

Battle: Los Angeles - The movie could turn out to be worse than Skyline. But this is a great trailer, no matter how you slice it.

Your Highness - Fantasy movie from David Gordon Green, written by McBride, has a weird Gilliam vibe to it. Even if it turns out to be a mess, it's a spectacular mess. This is the red band, which means more cursing and brief Natalie Portman in a thong action.

The Mechanic - If it's January and it's got Statham, you know it's gotta be great!

And we'll close it out with some more aliens. This time with the extra added benefit of cowboys.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Harry Potter- Reading the Books Whilst Live Blogging!!!!

Inspired by what was originally a joke comment on the Movieline site regarding Mike Ryan's attempt to watch the first 6 Harry Potter movies all in a row, never having seen or read anything Potter-related, I have decided to start Live Blogging my reading of all 7 books before the release of the movie this Friday!

Just a bit of disclosure, I have read the first 5 books twice, and the last two only one time each. I have seen the movies multiple times, though, the first three repeatedly due to my former job as a projectionist. In general, yes I am a Harry Pot-head.

Unfortunately, I haven't figured out how quite to Live Blog on this site, so I'm just gonna keep this open and update it whenever I write something new! I think that's what the kids call live blogging these days.

I don't know, I'm of the 1.0 generation.

Let's Begin!

WARNING - It may get a little blue. And spoilers, I guess, too.
9:13 AM - Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone - Chapter 1
So far so good.

9:14 AM - 2 pages down. Where the fuck is this Potter kid? What's with all these damn hippies in the streets?

9:15 AM - Oh, right. He's a baby.

9:16 AM - Thanks to former college roommate Jay, who bought this book ten years ago because he wanted to read anything that schools were banning. And then forgot that I was the last person he loaned it to.

9:22 AM - One Chapter down! 30 some odd left.

9:28 AM - Man, Harry's  aunt and uncle are dicks.

9:38 AM- Alright, Chapter 4 already! 

9:44 AM - These are really short chapters. This book is super easy to read.

9:52 AM - Did the screenwriters just copy and paste the text for the first film? Or am I just glossing over nostalgia and cinematic memories? 

9:55 AM - Inspired by my last question, I've decided to play the movie in the background. The rate I'm ripping through these chapters, I might be able to finish them both at the same time, although I doubt the scenes will match up.

10:01 AM - There are a lot of ads on this first DVD. 

10:04 AM - Yeah, it's almost dead on. I know why they cut the things they cut, but I'll be damned.

10:05 AM - This was a bad idea. I've stopped reading. Like our nation's youth after the last Harry Potter book. (ZING!) Time to turn off the television. 

10:09 AM - YAY! Harry got an Owl!

10:15 AM- These are awesome descriptions of this bizarre new world Harry Potter has entered.

10:22 AM - Already at Hogwarts! Let the fun begin!

10:28 AM - I wish Ithaca College was more like Hogwarts.  Would have been a more wondrous and magical educational experience. Didn't even mean that pun!

10:35 AM - I should really look for a job instead of reading 7 books today. Probably be a smart move. 

10:36 AM - Yay Quidditch!

10:41 AM - Hmmm... internet conked out. Gonna keep typing, and when it comes back, I'll post the backlog. 

10:46 AM - Wow, taking a few moments away from reading to type is really kind of distracting. How did Mike Ryan do this with 6 movies?!? I guess it's easier with movies vs. print.

10:53 AM - Do I even have the other books?  I'm pretty sure I have the last two, but I think my old roommate has the other ones. Son of a...

10:59 AM - This is a stupid idea. I have tons of other books I should read instead of re-reading something. There's Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, which I should get to before the movie gets made so I can say that the book was better. 

11:08 AM - Enough of this foolishness. I'm gonna watch Doom instead.

11:15 AM - Universal logo over Red Mars instead of Earth! Goddamn this movie rocks! 

11:22 AM - Handle ID, The Kid? Handle ID Goat? Handle ID Sarge? Not even disguising that this is a video game.

11:30 AM - WHOA! The female lead is Grimm's SISTER?!?! What a twist!  Hopefully this movie passes the Bechdel test!

11:31 AM - Oh right. It doesn't.

11:34 AM - Nobody's splitting off into pairs. Smart. You don't want to mess with these things.

11:40 AM - "Does it bother you that you could have spent your life behind a microscope instead of a sniper scope?" "If they're so smart, how come they're so dead?" That's how you write fuckin dialog, Sorkin. Take a lesson, then eat a bowl of dick.

11:40 AM - Studio 60 my ass.

11:55 AM - The Kid is on drugs! How can he hunt for monsters on drugs?!? Unless it's a statement about how much more fun video games are when you're on drugs. This movie's got layers, people.

11:58 AM - Like an onion.

12:04 PM - Any movie that requires the use of a bone saw gets an extra half star.

12:09 PM - Is there a better modern day composer  than Clint Mansell? His work here is hardcore, I need it to follow me around. Especially at the gym.

12:17 PM - Portman, you bastard! You sold out the rest of the crew!!

12:28 PM - Made myself a sandwich. Mesquite Turkey and Pepper Jack Cheese. Pretty tasty.

12:19 PM - Big Fuckin Gun! And it looks like it shoots fluoride, to boot!

12:20 PM - Oh man, some shit is going down!!!!! Cage-match style!!

12:23 PM - The creature kinda looks like "Satan" in Split Second, with Rutger Hauer. That movie rocks, too. Is it on DVD?

12:24 PM - No, it is not. Note to future film programmers, great double feature here.

12:25 PM - The Rock is starting to lose it! Oh no!

12:28 PM - So there's an extra chromosome that allows the creature to choose between good and evil? Haven't seen that in a movie before. Way to tread new ground! No sarcasm required.

12:31 PM - Oh shit! It's made its way to the ark and is now on Earth! We're doomed!

12:32 PM - Oh, I get it, Doom!

12: 38 PM - Now the Rock is full on section 8. Ordering the Kid to kill civilians? The village was cleared, the people are innocent Sarge!

12:39 PM - (That line's from Universal Soldier, but kinda fits anyway)

12:44 PM - First Person Shooter scene. Most innovative thing in cinema this past decade. Cameron didn't even TRY to replicate it with Delgo 2: The Quickening. So good, I have to share it. Thanks You Tube.


12:59 PM - End credits! Nice, they blow everyone away except those who survived the movie!

1:07 PM - Cool, I still have the rest of the day to look for work. Hopefully the internet is back up and running!

1:08 PM - It's not. Time for Death Race or Outlander! But no more live blogging. At least, not until I can figure it out.

UPDATE: 10:53 PM - Still no job, but watching Troll, which features not one, but TWO characters named Harry Potter.

Awesome things around the Interwebs worthy of your attention

Like you, I occasionally have a lull from all my big business dealings and coke-fueled hooker orgies and I find myself with a little bit of time to spare. And what better way to waste it than by reading lots of awesome things on the Interwebs!?!

First up, I found this terrific piece about the Facebook movie and humanity in general from Zadie Smith over at the New York Review of Books. It produced this great quote, in a footnote no less, that I quite enjoy and puts some awesome things in perspective:

"Our relationship with the English language predates our relationships with our phones."

Next up, an awesome series over at The AV Club about Grunge in the 90s. They're up to part 4, but it's best to start at the beginning. The AV Club has a bunch of terrific series, like My Year of Flops and The New Cult Cannon, but this is the first one not involving movies I voraciously tore through.

And over at Overthinking It they've been having a fun series of articles over the past few weeks (non-Inception related, which is a nice feat) about one-dimensional female characters (with a terrific flow chart), when a female character is an archetype or a stereotype (complete with awesome picture), and now a defense of one-dimensional characters. Great stuff from a website that's mighty entertaining.

And finally, here's something for you to enjoy, courtesy of the man who made me my "You Go In Pieces" Dolph Lundgren shirt.

Terrific stuff.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Box Office Report: Stoppable

Dude here again. Coming at you with your bi-monthly box office report. Why bi-monthly? Because it's been a really busy time lately. What could possibly take me away from the fun of reporting the exchange of millions of dollars between consumers and multimedia conglomerates in exchange for two hours of entertainment?

Let's just say I took Beyonce's advice, and put a ring on it. 

This weekend, a clam before the Harry Potter storm. Or calm. Kinda works either way. But not really. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. Megamind (DW) - $30.0, 3949 screens, week 2, $89.7 total

2. Unstoppable (Fox) $23.5, 3207 screens, week 1, $23.5 total

3. Due Date (WB)- $15.5, 3365 screens, week 2, $59.0 total

4. Skyline (Uni)- $11.6, 2880 screens, week 1, $11.6 total

5. Morning Glory (Par)- $9.6, 2518 screens, week 1, $12.2 total (Wed Open)l

6. For Colored Girls (LGF) - $6.7, 2127 screens, week 2, $30.9 total

7. Red (Sum)- $5.1, 2878 screens, week 5, $79.8 total

8. Paranormal Activity 2 (Par) - $3.0, 2403 screens, week 4, $82.0 total

9. Saw 3D (LGF) - $2.7, 1976 screens, week 3, $43.4 total

10. Jackass 3-D (Par)- $2.3, 1607 screens, week 5, $114.7 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that 3D animation trumps Denzel's speeding train. In an underwhelming weekend, Megamind continues to take in money that will next week go to the magical wizard. Because it wouldn't be a holiday season without an animated movie to distract us all.

Unstoppable proved to be stoppable (I feel shame for writing that) but still good enough for an impressive $23 million opening, on par with most Denzel Washington action fare. Bonus points for being a PG-13 Tony Scott movie. Rare is that.

Skyline is a curious case. It came in fourth, but made back its production budget, impressive for a movie financed by the FX house that created everything. (Thanks to that facial mapping of Armie Hammer in Social Network). But it's garnered some horrible reviews, most with the words "Gloriously" and "retarded".  Yet, with each horrific thing I read, my desire to see it increases exponentially.

Morning Glory, evening sadness.

Fun Fact: Hollywood actually took a break and didn't release a Christmas themed movie in early November! Progress!

Below the radar, Tiny Furniture, a movie whose preview is so twee it makes Paper Heart look like There Will Be Blood, opened up to an impressive $22,450. What makesthat so impressive is that was solely on one screen. Elsewhere, 127 Hours expanded and took in $453,000 on 22 screens. Gotta love a Danny Boyle flick.

So there, you have my amazing break down. Next week, I may have mentioned the wizard movie, but there's also a Russell Crowe movie, which makes me smile a little bit. 

Until next weekend....
(All Numbers courtesy of Box Office Mojo)

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Ed's QOTD 11-10-10

Hint for the previous one, the title is a word in the dialog!

You wanna know what a real criminal is, kid? It’s the son of a bitch that painted this car…I mean imagine defacing a work of art like this with a color like that. The man oughta have his ass removed.   

Tuesday, November 09, 2010

Some Doritos Ads for your Perusal.

My friend Andy, who assistance on the Fantastic Mr. Anderson was invaluable, has made a spec Doritos ad. 

Also, my friend Shane has a submission as well.

Check them out! Show them some love! The more my friends get work, the greater the chance I get some work.

Ed's QOTD 11-9-10


Oh, I see. So, underneath that apathetic exterior was actually a raging indifference.

M4 and M249

The horribly racist target behind was "Asian Triad Thug", which looked like pretty much every bootleg video cover you ever saw on a Chinatown sidewalk.

Extra Bonus Awkward Points: Two Asian men were standing next to me whilst I was making some terrific head shots on that target.

Truth be told, I didn't fire this weapon. But the Australian dudes in the lane next to us did.

And it was glorious.

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Underworld was on Jimmy Fallon

They're promoting their new album BARKING, which upon first listen, I thought was too dance-y, but subsequent listens have won me over to its charm. Not their best, but a solid effort, nonetheless.

Anyway, they were on Jimmy Fallon last week. Here is hopefully some video.

They also played the West Coast this past weekend, the only time this year they will, but I missed it. Kicking myself, they put on AWESOME shows.

Ed's Quote of the Day 11-2-10

Yesterday's was from The Player.

What is wrong with me? What have you got? I am dying of tuberculosis. I sleep with the nastiest whore in Kansas. Everyone who knows me hates me and every morning I wake up surprised that I have to spend another day in this piss-hole world.

Monday, November 01, 2010

8-Bit Milkshakes

FINALLY, they answered my letters.

Super There Will Be Blood from Tomfoolery Pictures on Vimeo.

Benelli M3 Shotgun

The target behind me depicts a Nazi Zombie.

And to explain the outfit, they said since it's your bachelor party, if you're willing to humiliate yourself for the experience, you can shoot for free.

And that's what I did.

The best part is that you have to wait a long time to actually shoot, then it takes time when you're in the range, so a whole new crop of people had no idea why I was shooting a gun dressed like I was.

Ed's Quote of the Day 11-1-10

So my friend Ed has been sending me a "Quote of the Day" email every weekday for the past few weeks now. It's fun, it's nerdy, and sometimes it's so obscure that it makes me proud for remembering these things, and not things like biology or US History.

So I think I might try and make it a thing over here. Why? Because Ed did all the work for me already I'm a nerd who enjoys these things. Hopefully you will enjoy it as well.

Enjoy! (These Things)


I can get back right after my AA meeting.


Oh Larry, I didn’t realize you had a drinking problem.


Well actually, I don’t but that’s where all the deals are being made these days.