Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Box Office Report: Where's Le-beef?!? (Git it? Like those commercials)

Dude here again. Let me tell about a special place in the land. It's called Medieval TImes, and it will rock your freakin' face off. They've got jousting, and battles, and falcons, and you can eat with your hands and yell "Huzzah" as much as you want until your throat hurts and/or security forcibly removes you from the premises. But don't let my court-ordered injunction stop you. Enjoy, and yell an "H" word for me. (And be sure to tip your serving wenches for all the Pepsi they bring you).

This weekend, four MORE new movies opened up wide, and some were pretty high profile. A few actually did some decent business, too! Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. Eagle Eye (Par/DW)- $29.2, 3510 screens, week 1, $29.2 total

2. Nights in Rodanthe (WB)- $13.5, 2704 screens, week 1, $13.5 total

3. Lakeview Terrace (ScrG) - $7.0, 2467 screens, week 2, $25.7 total

4. Fireproof (Gold) - $6.5, 839 screens, week 1, $6.5 total

5. Burn After Reading (Focus) - $6.1, 2649 screens, week 3, $45.5 total

6. Igor (MGM/Wein)- $5.5, 2341 screens, week 2, $14.3 total

7. Righteous Kill (Over) - $3.8, 3011 screens, week 3, $34.8 total

8. My Best Friend's Girl (LGF) - $3.8, 2636 screens, week 2, $14.5 total

9. Miracle at St. Anna (BV) $3.5, 1185 screens, week 1, $3.5 total

10. Tyler Perry's The Family That Preys (LGF) - $3.1, 1604 screens, week 3, $32.7 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that even though the U.S. economy is on the brink of collapse, we still managed to find almost $30 million for Shia LeBouf. I want you to think about that for a moment. What does it make you feel? Joy? Shame? Indifference? A pathetic combination of all three? Anyway, North By Northwest, Yo (the title I now refer to Eagle Eye as) took in a large amount of money, proving once again that the combination of LeBouf and a modern Hitchcock movie with lots of bang can dazzle us for a whole weekend.

Also opening this week, Nights in Rodanthe, a movie so overstuffed with goodness and warmth that the prints were delivered to the movie theaters encased in syrup. Still, enough people chose this over Shia to make it a respectable enough opening that won't matter until everyone discovers the joys of Aunt Jemima in their home theater system on a cold winter's night with the one you love.

Fireproof opened in fourth place. Fireproof is not, I repeat NOT, the long-awaited sequel to the 1998 Howie Long classic Firestorm. Instead it's a touching, faith based Christian-themed drama starring Kirk Cameron as a firefighter with marital problems. I'm willing to bet good money that at no time in this movie does Mike Seaver throw an axe into somebody's head. Regardless, having not even heard of this movie, the film pulled in about 12 times it's reported budget. In three days.

Fireproof also managed to do far better than Spike Lee's Miracle at St. Anna. The WWII drama was met by harsh reviews and an almost 3 hour run time in it's "check minus" columns already, and audiences weren't buying it. Sorry Spike. For what it's worth, I'd probably see Inside Man 2, if you wind up directing it.

And it brings me great sadness this week to finally announce the departure of The Dark Knight from the top ten. All you fanboys who wanted to push the domestic gross over that of Titanic failed to do so. I'm blaming this squarely on your desires to North By Northwest, Yo this weekend. There was a time when people actually TRIED. Those times are long gone.

Below the radar, Choke opened up. Choke is based on a Chuck "Fight Club" Palahniuk book, stars Sam Rockwell, and is actually pretty damn funny. It opened up on 435 screens and took in $1.3 million. Also, The Lucky Ones, which is both an Iraq movie AND the fifth consequtive weekly release from Lionsgate, made $208,000. Which is less than

There you have my amazing break down. Next week, the movie about the talking chihuahuas FINALLY opens up. Will it capture the hearts and minds of the world? Or will it be another Space Chimps?

Until next weekend....
(less than two months away!)

Sunday, September 21, 2008

That's Cat-TASTIC!!

It makes me smile. Shut up. I'll cut you.

Movie Money Thing I do on sundays

Dude here again. In a change of pace, I decided to write most of my box office report for the week early, based on even more vague predictions. Why, you may ask? Because I got me some Medieval Times to enjoy, suckers, and I'm too lazy to wait for actual numbers to appear. Besides, who wants a box report heavily influenced by a man on a Mead bender? (As opposed to the crack I usually smoke while writing these)

This weekend, four MORE new movies opened up wide, but the weekend estimates seem to be a little lower than last week's, so it's not as big a deal as last week's insanity. Not that last week even mattered, let's be honest. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. Lakeview Terrace (ScrG) - $15.6, 2464 screens, week 1, $15.6 total

2. Burn After Reading (Focus) - $11.2, 2657 screens, week 2, $36.4 total

3. My Best Friend's Girl (LGF) - $8.3, 2604 screens, week 1, $8.3 total

4. Igor (MGM/Wein)- $8.0, 2339 screens, week 1, $8.0 total

5. Righteous Kill (Over) - $7.7, 3152 screens, week 2, $28.8 total

6. Tyler Perry's The Family That Preys (LGF) - $7.5, 2070 screens, week 2, $28.3 total

7. The Women (PicH) $5.3, 2995 screens, week 2, $19.2 total

8. Ghost Town (Par/DW) - $5.1, 1505 screens, week 1, $5.1 total

9. The Dark Knight (WB)- $2.9, 1905 screens, week 10, $521.9 total

10. The House Bunny (Sony)- $2.8, 2675 screens, week 5, $45.7 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that when Samuel L. "Muthafu@%in'" Jackson stars in a movie, you see that muthafu@%in' movie! Lakeview Terrace appears to be the number one attraction in the land, proving that you can take a movie that's 16 years old (Unlawful Entry) and flip it around for modern audiences, slap Sammy L in the lead and have a trailer that features him screaming, and you have yourself a number one hit!

Also opening this week, possibly in third place, was a Dane Cook movie. Seriously, what kind of a world are we living in where we keep allowing this guy to star in movies? I want to know who posed that question to the universe, because The Secret certainly paid us back for that one in spades, now, didn't it? Thanks a lot, new age jerks!

What's especially upsetting is that Dane Cook's box office prowess is more potent than Ricky Gervais', whose first starring role in Ghost Town proved prophetically true with a miserable opening. (Writers with more wit will note the comparisons between a ghost town and an empty movie theater. I'm too clever for that. But I'm not above pointing out others that will do it).

And Igor, another attempt at CGI from the Weinstein Company, was the fourth movie that opened. I am completely indifferent to this movie and everything it stands for. Take that as you will.

Only two movies on the top ten are holdovers from more than 2 weeks in release, which is interesting. Everything else seems to have died on the vine. Sadly, this includes my new favorite Best Movie Of All Time, Death Race! I hope you're proud of yourself.

Below the radar, a movie called The Duchess, with Keira Knightley and a bunch of fancy costumes, opened up in limited release. It received good reviews, and I'm willing to bet it did fairly well on a small amount of screens. I'd be willing to bet it even has the highest per screen average of the week, more than Sammy L. In fact. That's my prediction. Again, lazy and going to see jousters. It's dinner AND a tournament, people! (UPDATE: Totally called it, with $29,000 per screens on it's 7 screens. I rule! Huzzah!)

There you have my amazing break down. Next week, the return of LaBouf! In a movie I'm really sick of seeing the ads for, but still want to see the movie. But those ads are really starting to get to me.

Until next weekend....

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Two of my favorite things located in one tasty package!

Box Office Report: Back to normal... OR IS IT?!?

Dude here again. I have a whole lot of movies, and a whole lot of numbers to start your Monday (or late Sunday, or later, depending on if you even read this) off right.

This weekend, FOUR wide releases! I can stop talking about Batman and the other movie that did well last month! And a month to be free of Space Chimps references! (Starting now). Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. Burn After Reading (Focus) - $19.4, 2651 screens, week 1, $19.4 total

2. Tyler Perry's The Family That Preys (LGF) - $18.0, 2070 screens, week 1, $18.0 total

3. Righteous Kill (Over) - $16.5, 3152 screens, week 1, $16.5 total

4. The Women (PicH) $10.00, 2962 screens, week 1, $10.0 total

5. The House Bunny (Sony)- $4.3, 2763 screens, week 4, $42.1 total

6. Tropic Thunder (Par/DW) - $4.1, 2927 screens, week 5, $102.9 total

7. The Dark Knight (WB)- $4.0, 2191 screens, week 9, $517.6 total

8. Bangkok Dangerous (LGF)- $2.4, 2654 screens, week 2, $12.5 total

9. Traitor (Over) - $2.1, 2014 screens, week 3, $20.7 total

10. DEATH RACE (Uni) - $2.0, 2007 screens, week 4, $33.1 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that this year, the Coen brothers not only won Academy Awards for last year's No Country For Old Men, but they also have their first number 1 opening in their 25+ years of filmmaking. Congratulations boys! How does it feel to truly be accepted by the machine you became icons for fighting against?

Coming in a close, and surprising second place was the latest from the Tyler Perry canon of films, The Family That Preys. Normally I would expect the Tyler Perry movie to claim the top spot, but not this time. Not with the Mighty Coen brothers around! Coming in close to Tyler Perry is Heat 2: Electric Boogaloo, with a respectable $16 million, which is far more than most people would have predicted from that film. Rounding out the new releases is The Women, which is not a pornographic movie, as the ticket seller led me to believe. Anyway, it took over twenty years to finally get the movie made, and it opens in fourth place with very negative reviews. Kinda sad if you stop to think about it.

But if there's ever a movie that needed the Dreadnaught, it's The Women. (And next week it will be The Duchess, another Keira Knightley costume drama I fear I may be forced to see). DREADNAUGHT!

Last week's #1, Bangkok Dangerous faltered to 8th place, losing 69% of it's last weekend gross. (Which was declared the fifth lowest #1 opening... OF ALL TIME!!! See, records can be broken anywhere you choose to look!) And Step Brothers crossed the $100 million mark along with Tropic Thunder this week. Next week, I'm making up records of my own.

Below the radar, a movie called Towelhead opened up on 4 screens and took in $53,000. It was directed by the guy who created Six Feet Under, and that new HBO show that's about vampires and kinda sucks.

There you have my amazing break down. Next week, Samuel L. Jackson yells a lot, Dane Cook irritates me, and Ricky Gervais finally gets to star in a movie, albeit one he didn't write himself. We shall see.

Until next weekend....

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Monday, September 08, 2008

Becca needs our help

Becca, the better, prettier EAST SI-IDE half of me who always shows up at every wedding I attend (and makes them that much more bossome!) needs our help. She works at Zoom Media, and she does promotions. Promotions that rock. (Except when they involve me passing out lukewarm hot chocolate in 2 degree weather). And she just got promoted, too, which means she can buy more drinks when we go out.

Anyway, if you awesome readers would be so kind as to check out these programs she and her team put together and vote for them! It's simple. It's easy. And it keeps yours truly awash in free swag and with an eternal wedding date!

Check out here, here, and... here. You can vote for more than one winner per category so vote for all the Zoom programs!!

Thanks! And just as a reward for helping out Becca:

I drink it up.

Sunday, September 07, 2008

Box Office Report: Back From Vacation

Dude here again. So I've been on vacation for the past few weeks. I needed a break. The whole Batman thing just wore me out all summer. So I took a nice long break, to the land of diners and good pizza. But now I'm back, and ready to report numbers! Who doesn't love numbers?!?

This weekend, only one new wide release. But it's real low! And it's not a very good movie! Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. Bangkok Dangerous (LGF)- $7.8, 2650 screens, week 1, $7.8 total

2. Tropic Thunder (Par/DW) - $7.5, 3446 screens, week 4, $96.8 total

3. The House Bunny (Sony)- $5.9, 2736 screens, week 3, $36.9 total

4. The Dark Knight (WB)- $5.7, 2575 screens, week 8, $512.1 total

5. Traitor (Over) - $4.6, 2108 screens, week 2, $17.6 total

6. Babylon A.D. (Fox) - $4.0, 3425 screens, week 2, $17.1 total

7. DEATH RACE! (Uni) - $3.5, 2586 screens, week 3, $29.7 total

8. Disaster Movie (LGF) - $3.3, 2642 screens, week 2, $10.8 total

9. Mamma Mia! (Uni) - $2.7, 1904 screens, week 8, $136.2 total

10. Pineapple Express (Sony) $2.4, 1802 screens, week 5, $84.1 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, Tropic Thunder doesn't get to tie The Dark Knight and take 4 weeks in the top spot. (Unless the Sunday estimates are wrong, and Tropic Thunder is #1 again, in which case that whole last sentence is void). The Nicolas Cage remake Bangkok Dangerous, which could possibly be the most boring movie I've seen this year, opened up in the number one spot with $7.8 million. This is the tenth lowest #1 opening movie OF ALL TIME! See, Batman? You're not the only record breaker around these parts.

Everything else made very little money, as this weekend is the sorbet, cleansing the palette of our movie theaters to make room for the taste of serious minded films, like a new Coen brothers movie and other things that don't involve comic book sources. There's also the prevailing theory that the first weekend of NFL football attracts more viewers than movies do, and this weekend is proof of that.

Still, The Dark Knight settles into being the #2 grossing movie of all time. The House Bunny enjoys a nice boost. Babylon A.D. flails like a necrotic limb. Disaster Movie makes nobody laugh. Mamma Mia continues to dazzle. Space Chimps isn't even reported anymore. Journey to the Center of the Earth 3-D has made $95 million this summer. The Mummy 3 inches over the $100 million threshold...

And then there's DEATH RACE! A movie so badass, it needs bold typeface! It's probably the best movie I've seen all summer, if only because of the presence of "The Dreadnaught!" a terrifying vehicular monstrosity that should be inserted into any movie that's running stale and needs a jolt of energy. Pride and Prejudice? Oh, Elizabeth Bennet is confused because of Mr. Darcy's mixed signals BAM! The Dreadnaught plows in and destroys the Bennet's farm! Anyway, not enough people are seeing Death Race, which is a shame.

Below the radar, a movie called Everybody Wants To Be Italian opened up on 98 screens and took in $218,000. I know nothing of this movie. But I have an idea: A township in New Jersey watches an episode of The Sopranos, and suddenly everybody wants to be Italian. I'm pretty sure it's a documentary.

There you have my amazing break down. Next week, more movies open up, and I lament the displacement of DEATH RACE for those movies.

Until next weekend....