Sunday, May 31, 2009

Box Office Report: Up and Away! (sigh...)

Dude here again. Coming at you after an evening of drunken karaoke shenanigans. I gotta tell you, some people might try to tell you sing Stairway to Heaven, but I disagree. I prefer singing STYX. The audience is craving for things beyond their comprehension, and Styx delivers. Stairway may be a grand song, but it's a cliche and at 8 minutes long, kind of a downer.

Plus, who doesn't love songs about robots?

This weekend, Pixar releases their latest "Greatest Pixar Movie" until next year's release, and Sam Raimi returns to horror. How did they fare? Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. Up (BV) - $68.2, 3766 screens, week 1, $68.2 total

2. Night at the Museum... (Fox)- $25.5, 4101 screens, week 2, $105.2 total

3. Drag Me To Hell (Uni) - $16.6, 2508 screens, week 1, $16.6 total

4. Terminator Salvation (WB)- $16.1, 3602 screens, week 2, $90.6 total

5. Star Trek (Par) $12.8, 3507 screens, week 4, $209.5 total

6. Angels & Demons (Sony) - $11.2, 3464 screens, week 3, $104.7 total

7. Dance Flick (Par)- $4.9, 2459 screens, week 2, $19.2 total

8. X-Men Origins: Wolverine (Fox)- $3.9, 2263 screens, week 5, $170.8 total

9. Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (WB) - $1.9, 1450 screens, week 5, $50.0 total

10. Obsessed (ScrGm) - $0.6, 679 screens, week 6, $67.5 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means the people are up with Up! (As opposed to being Up With People!) But Pixar knows what they're doing, and they snagged their 3rd highest opening OF ALL TIME! (See? Records are EVERYWHERE, you just need to know how to phrase them). But yeah, once again the Pixar gang delivers and puts a lock onto the best animated movie nominations in the next six months.

Sam Raimi made a movie that wasn't involving Spider-man, and the audiences didn't seem to come out like they should have. Most interesting, but horror doesn't do too well in the early months of the summer. Usually towards the end is when people crave the horror. Still, it's nice to see Raimi cleanse the palate after that ridiculous Spider-Man 3 movie, where the modern kids were dancing to the twist in the kitchen, and Spiderman cried.

A lot.

Night at the Museum 2 is holding on to 2nd place, but it did have a steeper drop than expected. Yet another footnote to the crazy numbers this summer. Terminator Salvation dropped even steeper, which makes the prospect of a sequel that less likely, but I think that's for the best. Unless it's called Terminator: Apology, it's not getting my money.

Oh, and Star Trek is now the highest grossing motion picture of the year! This makes me smile the good smile. Not the creepy smile.

There you have my amazing break down. Next week, another big screen adaptation of a TV show, and a documentary about my last trip to Las Vegas.

Until next weekend.......

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Time to help the roomie.

You know Dan. He of Danspeak.

He's in a short film. You can view it here. Check it out, then vote for it! Just remember the more success he has, the more success I can glean off. And let's be honest, my credit is for shit. I can't get a place without him.

Check it out and vote!

Monday, May 25, 2009

The Mets played the Dodgers on Wednesday night.

I had to work, and could not attend the game. My roommate Dan went. My editor on the flick I'm working on went. My friend even had tickets to give me because he couldn't make it. And although the Mets lost, I'm most pissed about missing who threw the first pitch.

That's right. My personal hero, Mr. Matthew "I GOT GHOSTS IN MY BEDROOM" McConaughey.

My editor Thomas said he'd never seen anyone so happy to throw a pitch in his life. I think this accurately captures it.

He also, allegedly, couldn't stop high-fiving the catcher afterwards, and was spotted holding up three fingers. This leads me to believe Matty McC was claiming he could get the next batter out. And could fill in for Manny Ramirez.

Box Office Report Salvation

Dude here again. I bring to you numbers. Large numbers. Numbers that make people happy. Very happy. Unless you're one of the people who was disappointed in what you spent your money on. I know I was. And that makes this large number a little disturbing to report.

Man, did I hate that Terminator movie.

This weekend, Terminator Shananigans opened up, as well as Night at the Museum. And it's a holiday weekend, which means the numbers are 4-day totals! Which is why I'm writing this on Monday, instaed of Sunday. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Tuesday).

1. Night at the Museum... (Fox)- $70.0, 4096 screens, week 1, $70.0 total

2. Terminator Salvation (WB)- $53.8, 3530 screens, week 1, $67.1 total

3. Star Trek (Par) $29.4, 4053 screens, week 3, $191.0 total

4. Angels & Demons (Sony) - $27.7, 3527 screens, week 2, $87.8 total

5. Dance Flick (Par)- $13.1, 2450 screens, week 1, $13.1 total

6. X-Men Origins: Wolverine (Fox)- $10.1, 3183 screens, week 4, $165.3 total

7. Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (WB) - $4.8, 2255 screens, week 4, $46.9 total

8. Obsessed (ScrGm) - $2.5, 1603 screens, week 5, $66.4 total

9. Monsters Vs. Aliens (Par/DW) - $1.9, 1434 screens, week 9, $193.5 total

10. 17 Again (WB) - $1.2, 1107 screens, week 6, $60.5 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means the people spoke, and they chose Ben Stiller and a bunch of history brought to life over a post-apocalyptic robotic war. And for once, I am happy. the schadenfreude has kicked in, and I'm happy about this choice. No records were broken this weekend, but Night at the Museum: Battle for the Smithsonian did outperform its' predecessor. The robot movie didn't.

Oh, and Dance Flick opened up, and manage to take $13 million of your money. Give that some thought, why don't you. I'll wait.

Meanwhile, Star Trek looks to be a solid hit, continuing steady business and dropping low percentages. It even performed better than last week's #1, Angels & Demons. That film, however, seems to be conquering the world, so I'm not shedding any tears.

How is Monsters Vs. Aliens still on this list? It's not like it's Taken. Man, remember those days? When Liam Neeson would lord over us all, just waiting to kick our collective arses at any given moment? Ahhh, good times. You know something? I think I would've preferred watching Liam Neeson take on the robot army. Because you know he could get the job done with the intensity only matched by robotic killing machines of the future.

There you have my amazing break down. Next week, Pixar unleashes their next "Greatest Pixar Movie Ever", as I have no doubt multiple outlets will declare it. Oh, and we also get a new horror movie from Sam Raimi that doesn't involve a spider man!

Until next weekend.......

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Terminator: Shenanigans

Just to give you an idea of how utterly fucking stupid this movie is, you don't even need to go past the opening credits. It seriously tells you the title of the movie twice. In the span of, like, 40 seconds.

Nevermind that it should possess a colon, so it reads "Terminator: Salvation". No, it reads "Terminator Salvation".

Anyway, after the second reveal of the title, we have an idiotic prologue that features nothing recognizable to the Terminator world. And there are more individual producer credits than letters in the director's name.

(Remember when We Are Marshall came out, and McG was all about being taken seriously. But he didn't drop the McG thing, so then he made this retarded robot war movie?)

So then, after the prologue, we get a text scroll, setting up everything we already know about a war against the machines.

But we don't get to see the initial uprising. No, we just get John Connor in the middle of everything. (He also can't fly a helicopter for shit). The resistance is already well formed, and has massive bunkers and hangars filled with a seemingly inexhaustible supply of planes and military hardware. Hey, here's a thought, your enemy is an indestructible robot army that has the foresight enough to have little robots come out of the larger machines. These robots (including a hobo terminator) require no sleep, and possess scanners that allow these machines to hunt down humans. So these robots, which have the foresight enough to actually create "Hydro-bots" in case those pesky humans decide water might be a viable option to escape, can't find the only band of humans flanked by all the military equipment, that seems to be only a few miles away from the large Cyberdyne headquarters.

Oh, and did I mention that nothing that happens in this movie is of any consequence to anything? It's true.

See this? This doesn't happen in the movie. You don't get to see this. You get to see running away, and dust, and crashes and Bryce Dallas Howard's cross-eyed acting.

There are a few cool sequences, like the robot motorcycle chase, and John Connor's fight towards the end was the only time I actually had a smile on my face. But the movie is shenanigans. It made me appreciate the finer nuances of "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past". Four hours ago, I would've sworn of the 2 giant robot fighting movies we get this summer, at least this one won't be as stupid as the other. Now I'm starting to regret those words.

I obviously have a fondness for the third movie, because of the circumstances under which I saw it, but this movie makes the third one seem like Blade Runner. (The final cut, even). At least that movie had some balls. This one is all flash and noise.

Goddamn this movie goes full retard.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Box Office & Demons

Dude here again. Well, another big week is upon us. I feel that the weekend numbers are beginning to lose their luster. I feel that if there's a disappointingly low week at the box office, THAT will be worth reporting. As it stands, I just type these large numbers and stand back. Hoping they impress you.

So are you impressed yet?

This weekend, another DaVinci Code movie-type movie is released, this one with Tom Hanks, not Nicolas Cage. And lots of money was made by all. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. Angels & Demons (Sony) - $48.0, 3527 screens, week 1, $74.0 total

2. Star Trek (Par) $43.0, 3860 screens, week 2, $147.6 total

3. X-Men Origins: Wolverine (Fox)- $14.8, 3892 screens, week 3, $151.0 total

4. Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (WB) - $6.8, 3150 screens, week 3, $40.0 total

5. Obsessed (ScrGm) - $4.5, 2634 screens, week 4, $62.5 total

6. 17 Again (WB) - $3.4, 2450 screens, week 5, $58.3 total

7. Monsters Vs. Aliens (Par/DW) - $3.0, 1951 screens, week 8, $190.5 total

8. The Soloist (Par/DW)- $2.4, 2022 screens, week 3, $27.5 total

9. Next Day Air (Sum)- $2.2, 1339 screens, week 2, $7.6 total

10. Earth (BV)- $1.6, 1584 screens, week 4, $29.0 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means people like it when Tom Hanks cuts his hair and opens up a can of whoop-ass on the Vatican. That's what I think the movie's about anyway. There are two certainties: Angels & Demons didn't perform as well as its predecessor, and the film contained neither angels NOR demons. I declare shenanigans.

Meanwhile, Star Trek continues along a nice path, dropping only 42% from last week. Impressive, and it stands that this Star Trek is the most successful Star Trek film in the history of the entire franchise.

Wolverine, however, continues to disappoint fans across the land with his antics. And Management, a film with Steve Zahn and Jennifer Anniston opened up on...

Whoa! Whilst writing this unbelievable report, I just experienced an earthquake! Crazy! I never feel those! Last time I was rocking out in car to Europe and had no idea it happened. But this time, I wasn't rocking out to Europe. Not too hard.

There you have my amazing break down. Next week, Terminators and museum folk clash!

Until next weekend.......

Saturday, May 16, 2009

I wanted to write a post...

...about how the Six Flags mascot guy has got to stop.

But then this guy at beat me to it. And he did it in a way that perfectly sums up my feelings. So instead of me just rehashing the same argument with slightly different (yet just as hilarious) metaphors, I'll direct you to him.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

It's like someone's been filming my dreams!

The last shot seriously melted my face right off.

I instantly had to watch it again.

And it just melted right back off.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Box Office Report: Deep Space 9

Dude here again. The SummerMovieXXXplosion(TM) continues in grand scale, on this mother's day weekend. Last year I made my mom write up the box office report while she was also doing my laundry. (She insisted upon the laundry because I always screw it up). This year I decided to be kind, and not ask her to do the write up again. But she did feel the need to make comments on everything, the way moms do.

But then I got called into work, and was unable to keep up the gag, so I'm just gonna report some numbers really quickly.

This weekend, Star Trek goes the reboot route and takes on the clawed one. It's a battle of FX! Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. Star Trek (Par) $72.5, 3849 screens, week 1, $76.5 total

2. X-Men Origins: Wolverine (Fox)- $27.0, 4102 screens, week 2, $129.6 total

3. Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (WB) - $10.4, 3175 screens, week 2, $30.2 total

4. Obsessed (ScrGm) - $6.6, 2602 screens, week 3, $56.2 total

5. 17 Again (WB) - $4.4, 2903 screens, week 4, $54.4 total

6. Next Day Air (Sum)- $4.0, 1338 screens, week 1, $4.0 total

7. The Soloist (Par/DW)- $3.6, 2090 screens, week 2, $23.5 total

8. Monsters Vs. Aliens (Par/DW) - $3.3, 2185 screens, week 7, $186.8 total

9. Earth (BV)- $2.4, 1794 screens, week 3, $26.0 total

10. Hannah Montana The Movie (BV) - $2.4, 2301 screens, week 5, $74.0 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that Star Trek fans decided to accept this new incarnation of their beloved series. Which is good, because the movie rocks. In spite of the excessive use of lens flare, which is honestly my only complaint about the entire thing. That's how nerdy I am, people. But being that this is summer, there must be some sort of records broken, so how about "Biggest Star Trek Opening Weekend EVER!" It's not flashy, but it'll do on short notice.

Meanwhile, Next Day Air opened. I'm not really sure what this movie is, but I'm pretty sure it has Mos Def, which means that I will eventually wind up seeing the movie. You just can't deny the appeal of Mos Def.

Wolverine, in a shock to nobody who writes or reads these box office reports week after week, dropped sharply, but continues to dupe fanboys out of money. Just less money this week. And it's probably money made from dorks who couldn't get into Star Trek. Just a theory.

There you have my amazing break down. Next week, Tom Hanks joins the fray and pisses off the Catholic Church once again.

Until next weekend.......

Friday, May 08, 2009

Star Trek

Yeah, it's just as awesome as everyone's saying it is.

It's enormously entertaining and supremely satisfying.

It has spaceships and lasers and explosions, but it's not as in your face as the "This is not your father's Star Trek" marketing campaign would lead you to believe. It's just a solid, fun time at the movies that doesn't insult your intelligence one bit, and can be accessible to fans and non-fans alike.

The casting is solid. Naturally, my inclination towards a favorite would be Simon Pegg's portrayal of Scotty. (I made him laugh one time, you know). But lo and behold, Karl Urban steps up to the plate and knocks it out of the park. Thank Odin we have Karl Urban in our lives. You can argue the merits of Kirk and Spock, or Tyler Perry's inexplicable role, or Winona Ryder's make-up. Give me Karl Urban!

I had a huge grin on my face from start to finish, and I honestly can't wait to see it again. And not just because I had to pee really bad that it caused me some kidney pain in the last 20 minutes, causing me to lose focus.

Seriously, I've peed twice since I left the theater 50 minutes ago, and they still kinda hurt.

Oh, but as exuberant and unbelievably jazzed by the flick as I am... Enough with the goddamn lens flare!

Sunday, May 03, 2009

Box Office Report: SummerMovieXXXplosion(TM) BEGINS!!!

Dude here again. The SummerMovieXXXplosion(TM) began this weekend, but I didn't participate. And it's not because of Swine Flu fears. The beauty about my bloodstream is that due to years of neglect and poor choices, it's not really blood anymore

And that's why I can't be killed by conventional weaponry.

This weekend, Jackman straps on the claws once again, and Matthew McConaughey is in a movie, which is cause enough for celebration. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. X-Men Origins: Wolverine (Fox)- $87.0, 4099 screens, week 1, $87.0 total

2. Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (WB) - $15.3, 3175 screens, week 1, $15.3 total

3. Obsessed (ScrGm) - $12.2, 2514 screens, week 2, $47.0 total

4. 17 Again (WB) - $6.3, 3255 screens, week 3, $48.4 total

5. Monsters Vs. Aliens (Par/DW) - $5.8, 2626 screens, week 6, $182.4 total

6. The Soloist (Par/DW)- $5.6, 2033 screens, week 2, $18.1 total

7. Earth (BV)- $4.1, 1804 screens, week 2, $21.8 total

8. Fighting (Rog) $4.1, 2312 screens, week 2, $17.5 total

9. Hannah Montana The Movie (BV) - $4.0, 2819 screens, week 4, $70.8 total

10. State of Play (Uni)- $3.6, 2445 screens, week 3, $30.8 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that a movie that was released on the internet a month ago, that's met with some horrible reviews, can still make bank, so long as Jackman takes off his shirt, the masses will come. No records are broken here, which is a very disappointing way to open up SummerMovieXXXplosion(TM), but still a respectable enough debut to alleviate the fears of FOx execs who thought this whole interweb leaking would take a significant chunk of dough away from their disappointing movie about claw guy.

Meanwhile, Matthew McConaughey continues to make movies. Even if I am the only person who ever actually WANTS to see those movies. Amazing.

Something called Battle For Terra, which is a 3-D animated sci-fi flick, which naturally sounds like it's up my alley, thought it had a chance of attracting people who couldn't get into Wolverine, fared poorly, taking in just over $1 million for the weekend. At least it's not Delgo.

Also below the radar, in an attempt to counter-program, a new Jim Jarmusch movie opened up. It's called The Limits of Control, it has Bill Murray in a small role, and it opened on 3 screens to the tune of $54,000, 2nd highest average after Wolverine. So there you go.

There you have my amazingly depressing break down. Next week, SummerMovieXXXplosion(TM) continues with another "reboot", and more shocking record percentage drops!

Until next weekend.......