Friday, December 31, 2010

Best/Worst of 2010

There was only one movie this year that arrived, and was the greatest movie since Rambo.

And that movie is Piranha 3D. It has everything you want in a movie, in one tight 85 minute package. In 3D no less.

Hands down, best movie of this year.

Aside from that, I enjoyed these movies quite a bit. I don't really feel like getting into they "whys" of my choices just yet, but perhaps someday I shall.

Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World
Black Swan
Toy Story 3
Warriors Way
Cyrus
Predators
Please Give
Social Network



HONORABLE MENTION
Youth In Revolt, Book of Eli, Shutter Island, Crazies, Repo Men, Hot Tub Time Machine, Rec 2, Kick Ass, The Losers, Best Worst Movie, MacGruber, Get Him To The Greek, Splice, Joan Rivers A Piece of Work, Inception, Dinner For Schmucks, The Other Guys, MACHETE, The Town, Let Me In, Mystery Team, Red, Harry Potter Does Something, Rare Exports, Harry Brown, District B13 Ultimatum, Monsters, Tron Legacy (Until you think about it), Girl With Dragon Tattoo, Girl Who Played With Fire.


BAD
Legion
Human Centipede
Alice in Wonderland
She's Out of My League
Survival of the Dead
Clash of the Titans
Tiny Furniture
Greenberg
Somewhere


AWESOMELY BAD
From Paris With Love
Jonah Hex
Expendables
Resident Evil Apocalypse



MEH
Percy Jackson and The Olympians
Cop Out
Date Night (Saw these last two on a plane, so they get a pass for taking my mind off turbulence)
Daybreakers
In My Sleep
Centurion
Iron Man 2
Robin Hood
Wall Street Money blah blah

STILL NEED TO SEE:

Biutiful, True Grit, The Illusionist, The Fighter, How Do You Know, I Love You Philip Morris, 127 Hours, Four Lions, Due Date, Unstoppable, Skyline, Faster. The Kings Speech, Jackass 3D, Enter The Void, Buried, Easy A, Leaves of Grass, Catfish, I'm Still Here, Mesrine, Red Riding Trilogy, Valhalla Rising, The American, Animal Kingdom, The Square, The Kids Are Alright, Get Low, Life During Wartime, Salt, Sorcerer's Apprentice, Winnebago Man, Despicable Me, The Killer Inside Me, I Am Love, Winter's Bone, The A Team, MicMacs, Solitary Man, OSS 117 Lost In Rio, The Good The Bad The Weird, Exit Through The Gift Shop, Waking Sleeping Beauty, Ghost Writer, Runaways, City Island, Mother, Green Zone, Frozen, North Face (58)

STILL NEED TO SEE FOR THE PAIN

Furry Vengeance, Yogi Bear, Nutcracker 3D, Last Airbender, Remember Me (5)

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Box Office Report: The Dude abides this holiday season

Dude here again. Bringing you the final box office report of 2010! It's been an interesting year at best. It started with the Avatar sweep, and ended with a Fockin' whimper. In between, we had disappointment in quality and profit. Sure some movies shined, but nothing really wowed anybody, or justified their monetary intake.

Except that Jackass 3D. That deserved every penny.

This weekend, the holiday brings us lots of fun new presents that some unwrapped and others wish they got a sweater instead. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. Little Fockers (Uni)- $34.0, 3536 screens, week 1, $48.3 total

2. True Grit (Par)- $25.6, 3047 screens, week 1, $36.8 total

3. Tron Legacy (BV) - $20.1, 3451 screens, week 2, $88.2 total

4. The Chronicles of Narnia… (Fox) - $10.8, 3350 screens, week 3, $63.9 total

5. Yogi Bear (WB)- $8.8, 3515 screens, week 2, $36.7 total

6. The Fighter (Par) $8.5, 2511 screens, week 3, $27.5 total

7. Gulliver's Travels (Fox)- $7.2, 2546 screens, week 1, $7.2 total (Sat open)

8. Black Swan (FoxS) - $6.6, 1466 screens, week 4, $29.0 total

9. Tangled (BV) - $6.5, 2582 screens, week 5, $143.7 total

10. The Tourist (Sony)- $5.7, 2756 screens, week 3, $41.1 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that they've managed to stretch that "Focker" joke for a full decade now, and people still keep laughing. Kinda sad, really. What's even sadder is that a lot of these numbers are lower due to bad weather that's slamming the east coast at the moment.

If you're Jeff Bridges. you've gotta pretty pleased, man. The number 2 & 3 movies, kicking ass, taking names… There's nothing he can't do, and don't you try to stop him. He's the Dude, man.

Be honest, how many of you thought the Gulliver's Travels movie starring Jack Black was a practical joke? Like some sort of Tropic Thunder remnant? Judging by that number, I'm guessing a lot of you did. Although it did only open on Saturday, so who knows, it might outshine Yogi Bear.

Nothing about that last sentence is any good to anybody.

Apologies for missing last week's obvious pun of How Do You Know, but seeing that it's no longer in the top ten, I guess nobody knew it actually was a movie either.

Fun Fact: The top ten list this week contains movies from The Coen brothers, Darren Aronofsky, AND David O Russell, which makes my film nerd heart jump with glee, as it should yours.

Below the radar, Somewhere, the latest film from Sofia Coppola, took in $142,000 on 7 screens, having the highest per screen average out of all! Also opening, The Illusionist, an animated romp from the man who brought us the Triplets of Belleville, taking in $50,600 on 3 screens.

So there, you have my amazing break down. Next week, it's nothing! Absolutely nothing. I love when that happens.

Until next weekend....
(All Numbers courtesy of Box Office Mojo)

Friday, December 17, 2010

Tron! Legacy! in IMAX 3D!!!


I loved Tron Legacy. Had an absolute blast, enjoyed the look, the feel, the sound, the simple story...

But then I started thinking about it.

And once that happens, it's game over, man.

So, I figure as long as I don't think about it, and think about the shiny lights and AWESOME Daft Punk score I'm fine. And as long as I don't think about creepy CG Polar Express lookin Jeff Bridges, it'll be alr... dammit!

Shinylightsshinylightsshinylights
You're ruining my zen state of mind, man.


(By the by, in case I haven't mentioned it, Black Swan is pretty great. A perfect blend of Aronofsky's sensibilities, and a film that has shades of equal parts early Polanski, Argento, and DePalma.  Moviesonline has my review somewhere, I'm just too lazy to put up the link.

Also, Rare Exports is worth checking out if you can).

Also, no Box Office Report this week, but let's just assume it was Tron. 

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Box Office Reports: Chronicles of Yawn-ia!

Dude here again. Are you starting to feel that holiday spirit? I feel that spirit by going to the mall, and singing generic, all encompassing holiday songs. It's bizarre, but I think everyone appreciates it, as it's both respectful and pleasant. Then we break into a flash mob that only performs the dance from Peanuts!

Because who doesn't love Peanuts?

This weekend, a rather weak offering that may have sold the fate of future Christian parable adventures. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. The Chronicles of Narnia… (Fox) - $24.5, 3555 screens, week 1, $24.5 total

2. The Tourist (Sony)- $17.0, 2756 screens, week 1, $17.0 total

3. Tangled (BV) - $14.5, 3565 screens, week 3, $115.6 total

4. Harry Potter and the Etc…. (WB)- $8.5, 3577 screens, week 4, $257.6 total

5. Unstoppable (Fox) $3.7, 2967 screens, week 5, $74.2 total

6. Black Swan (FoxS) - $3.3, 90 screens, week 2, $5.6 total

7. Burlesque (ScrGms)- $3.2, 2876 screens, week 3, $32.5 total

8. Love and Other Drugs (Fox)- $3.0, 2240 screens, week 3, $27.6 total

9. Due Date (WB)- $2.5, 1990 screens, week 6, $94.8 total

10. Megamind (DW) - $2.5, 2425 screens, week 6, $140.2 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means nobody read any of the books after The Lion The Witch and the Wardrobe. Maybe just nobody liked them. Anyway, the third movie in the series opened up to a weak $24 million, probably slamming the final nail in the coffin of the series. Sure, it may have some legs thanks to the upcoming holiday season, but let's try and enjoy Aslan on the big screen while we can.

Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie in a movie that takes place in Vienna? That's gotta be an award for the prettiest movie ever made. (Naturally, after Hero). Anyway, the star power of these two wasn't quite enough to bring Pirate or Salt money, but the pairing attracted enough people to have a nice run in the upcoming weeks.

Black Swan expanded to a total of 90 screens to rank 6th on the board, which may be the highest rank a Darren Aronofsky film has ever attained on one of these charts. It's got the highest per screen average of the top ten, (not of the releases, though) and is generally kicking ass and taking names.

All the other flicks are hanging around. like guests at a party nobody wants to be at but are too polite to leave. That's right, I'm looking at you Love and Other Drugs, who only brought a vegetable platter to this shindig.

Fun Fact: When debating with friends over what the best Christmas movie of all time is, the only correct answer is Reindeer Games.

Below the radar, The Fighter, coming in with great awards and performances buzz, opened on 4 screens and took in $320,000 and the top per screen average ($80,000 per screen, beating Black Swan's record from last week). Most impressive. ALso released, Julie Taymor's triply version of The Tempest, with Helen Mirren and Russell Brand, took in $45,000 on 5 screens. Slightly less impressive.

So there, you have my amazing break down. Next week, it's Tron time!

Until next weekend....

(All Numbers courtesy of Box Office Mojo)

Friday, December 10, 2010

Monday, December 06, 2010

Embrace of the Ninja



I may or may not be the "Husky" ninja that gets stabbed with a ski pole in multiple split screens.

Sunday, December 05, 2010

Box Office Report: Yawn

Dude here again. With great power comes great responsibility, a man once wrote. Then it was re-appropriated in a whole bunch of other comic book movies, more or less. Now the real question remains, everyone says it, but does anyone actually really listen to it?

Sorry, I just watched that Green Lantern trailer again, and it's starting to piss me off.

This weekend, my prediction was wrong, and the one movie did better than the others, even though there wasn't much in the way of competition. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. Tangled (BV) - $21.5, 3603 screens, week 2, $96.4 total

2. Harry Potter and the Etc…. (WB)- $16.7, 4125 screens, week 3, $244.2 total

3. Burlesque (ScrGms)- $6.1, 3037 screens, week 2, $26.9 total

4. Unstoppable (Fox) $6.1, 3152 screens, week 4, $68.8 total

5. Love and Other Drugs (Fox)- $5.7, 2458 screens, week 2, $22.6 total

6. Megamind (DW) - $5.0, 3173 screens, week 5, $136.7 total

7. Due Date (WB)- $4.2, 2450 screens, week 5, $90.9 total

8. Faster (CBS) - $3.8, 2470 screens, week 2, $18.1 total

9. The Warrior's Way (Rogue)- $3.0, 1662 screens, week 1, $3.0 total

10. The Next 3 Days (LGF) - $2.6, 2236 screens, week 3, $18.3 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means Disney had sloppy second weekend, but still managed to out perform the young wizard with their animated tale of hair. Although, it's a steep drop from last week's take, but that's due to the lack of holiday.

Everything else remained in place, but not for long, as the first weekend in December is usually just a place holder weekend until the big holiday blockbusters assault us. So, that's why Burlesque and Unstoppable have made the almost the same thing in a tied for third, and Love and Other Drugs is so prominent towards the top. Sad state, but what are you gonna do?

I can not stress enough how awesome The Warrior's Way is. It's poor, MacGruber-esque performance aside, you should make every effort you can to see this movie while it still remains on a screen. You won't regret it.

Fun Fact: The Nutcracker 3D movie is allegedly horribly racist, in addition to being over two hours long, making it "Must See" for me.

Below the radar, Black Swan finally opened up on 18 screens, and blew away pretty much everyone else by taking in $1,394,000 and the highest per screen average of the weekend . Also, this weekend FINALLY saw the release of I Love You Phillip Morris, a dark comedy directed by the guys who wrote Bad Santa starring Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor… how did this movie not get released until now?!? Anyway, it opened on 6 screens and took in $113,000, not bad considering it didn't look like it would come out at all.

AND… the Dutch horror flick Rare Exports, about the trapping and auctioning of Santa Claus opened on one screen and took in $9,500. Outstanding.

So there, you have my amazing break down. Next week, even if we didn't ask for it, we're getting another Narnia movie! This one's on a boat!

Until next weekend....
(All Numbers courtesy of Box Office Mojo)

Friday, December 03, 2010

Warriors Way - The movie you need to see this weekend.



You'll be hard pressed to find a film as enormously awesome, and legitimately entertaining, as  The Warrior's Way. A bizarre pastiche of samurai film and western, Warrior's Way somehow manages to find just the right balance of ludicrous and fantastic, with it's tongue firmly planted in it's cheek but never letting us know that it's in on the joke. It's like a Terry Gilliam Cannon film.

Here's a list of the things this movie has:

Ninjas.

Cowboys.

Circus Freaks.

Tony Cox, playing the character "8-Ball".

A whole TOWN full of circus freaks.

Geoffrey Rush

Kate Bosworth's hilarious overacting. Then throwing knives.

Not backing down out when it comes to violence.

Geoffrey Rush playing the town drunk.

Better CG blood than Expendables.

Freakin' Danny Huston! With a scar on his face!

Emotion.

Interesting characters.

Stunning visuals.

Geoffrey Rush playing the town drunk, shooting sticks of dynamite from a ferris wheel.

If you don't like these things in a movie, then you've failed as a human being. For everyone else, there's The Warrior's Way. Check it out, you won't regret it.

Wednesday, December 01, 2010