Sunday, September 21, 2008

Movie Money Thing I do on sundays

Dude here again. In a change of pace, I decided to write most of my box office report for the week early, based on even more vague predictions. Why, you may ask? Because I got me some Medieval Times to enjoy, suckers, and I'm too lazy to wait for actual numbers to appear. Besides, who wants a box report heavily influenced by a man on a Mead bender? (As opposed to the crack I usually smoke while writing these)

This weekend, four MORE new movies opened up wide, but the weekend estimates seem to be a little lower than last week's, so it's not as big a deal as last week's insanity. Not that last week even mattered, let's be honest. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. Lakeview Terrace (ScrG) - $15.6, 2464 screens, week 1, $15.6 total

2. Burn After Reading (Focus) - $11.2, 2657 screens, week 2, $36.4 total

3. My Best Friend's Girl (LGF) - $8.3, 2604 screens, week 1, $8.3 total

4. Igor (MGM/Wein)- $8.0, 2339 screens, week 1, $8.0 total

5. Righteous Kill (Over) - $7.7, 3152 screens, week 2, $28.8 total

6. Tyler Perry's The Family That Preys (LGF) - $7.5, 2070 screens, week 2, $28.3 total

7. The Women (PicH) $5.3, 2995 screens, week 2, $19.2 total

8. Ghost Town (Par/DW) - $5.1, 1505 screens, week 1, $5.1 total

9. The Dark Knight (WB)- $2.9, 1905 screens, week 10, $521.9 total

10. The House Bunny (Sony)- $2.8, 2675 screens, week 5, $45.7 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that when Samuel L. "Muthafu@%in'" Jackson stars in a movie, you see that muthafu@%in' movie! Lakeview Terrace appears to be the number one attraction in the land, proving that you can take a movie that's 16 years old (Unlawful Entry) and flip it around for modern audiences, slap Sammy L in the lead and have a trailer that features him screaming, and you have yourself a number one hit!

Also opening this week, possibly in third place, was a Dane Cook movie. Seriously, what kind of a world are we living in where we keep allowing this guy to star in movies? I want to know who posed that question to the universe, because The Secret certainly paid us back for that one in spades, now, didn't it? Thanks a lot, new age jerks!

What's especially upsetting is that Dane Cook's box office prowess is more potent than Ricky Gervais', whose first starring role in Ghost Town proved prophetically true with a miserable opening. (Writers with more wit will note the comparisons between a ghost town and an empty movie theater. I'm too clever for that. But I'm not above pointing out others that will do it).

And Igor, another attempt at CGI from the Weinstein Company, was the fourth movie that opened. I am completely indifferent to this movie and everything it stands for. Take that as you will.

Only two movies on the top ten are holdovers from more than 2 weeks in release, which is interesting. Everything else seems to have died on the vine. Sadly, this includes my new favorite Best Movie Of All Time, Death Race! I hope you're proud of yourself.

Below the radar, a movie called The Duchess, with Keira Knightley and a bunch of fancy costumes, opened up in limited release. It received good reviews, and I'm willing to bet it did fairly well on a small amount of screens. I'd be willing to bet it even has the highest per screen average of the week, more than Sammy L. In fact. That's my prediction. Again, lazy and going to see jousters. It's dinner AND a tournament, people! (UPDATE: Totally called it, with $29,000 per screens on it's 7 screens. I rule! Huzzah!)

There you have my amazing break down. Next week, the return of LaBouf! In a movie I'm really sick of seeing the ads for, but still want to see the movie. But those ads are really starting to get to me.

Until next weekend....

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