Wednesday, August 02, 2006

3 Fast 3 Furious: Addendum

I stand corrected. For all the grief I gave the film earlier, about revealing a surprise ending for the film (which would have been a LOT cooler not knowing when I saw the flick) I wound up really enjoying it. Of course, at the $2 theater, most movies wind up being alright.

I started writing a review, but quickly realized that I didn't have it in me to write anything better then the way I described the film to "Triple" Dave Hyde over the interweb. So I present to you, the conversation we had.

For clarity sake, I will be Dude, Dave will be 3D.

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AIM IM with boilerhyde.
7/19/06, 9:05 PM

The Dude: if you see one movie this year, make sure it's "Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift"

3D: thank god
3D: its awesome?
3D: awesome in the first one awesome, or just really cool to watch

The Dude: no dude. it's a piece of shit

3D:damn. i was hoping

The Dude: but it's REALLY cool to watch

3D: ok. so, what the second one should have been if they didnt use all the computer graphics and shit
3D: and if Evan Mendes got naked
3D: Eva*
3D: of course
3D: not Evan
3D: i dont know an Evan
3D: and i dont want to see him nakes
3D: naked

The Dude: you're damn right on all counts, sir
The Dude: this movie knows what it wants, and it doesn't hide the fact
The Dude: you wanna see: FAST CARS

3D: see i can respect and enjoy that

The Dude: AND
The Dude: HOT JAPANESE CHICKS

3D: is that Aoki chick in it again?

The Dude: AND LOUD MUSIC THAT WOULDN'T BE VERY GOOD, BUT FOR SOME REASON IN THIS MOVIE FITS PERFECTLY SO I BOUGHT THE SOUNDTRACK
The Dude: No, sadly Aoki's not in it. She was the best part about 2 Fast 2 Furious
The Dude: you know, aside from all the blatant homoeroticism
The Dude: and Paul Walker saying "Bro" all the time

3D: Paul Walker is in this one too...that is sad

The Dude: they're smart as hell and don't even bother trying to tie it into the franchise until the very end, with the thinnest of reasons, but what the hell, it works
The Dude: no
The Dude: he's not in it
The Dude: no one from the original is in it
The Dude: except for one surprise guest at the end which I already ruined for you a long time ago

3D: dont say Vin Diesel
3D: oh ok
3D: see that is the real problem with the second movie no Vin Diesel

The Dude: did you know that after the credits of the first one, it shows Vin Diesel driving in Mexico?

3D: how can you make a movie with him, then make a sequel and not include him

The Dude: easy dude, it's called XXX2: State Of the Union. Don't knock a movie that's got Ice Cube

3D: true... youu got me on that one
3D:VERY entertaining movie
3D:i watch it everytime i see it is on

The Dude: that movie kicked so much more ass than XXX the first

3D:i really liked the first one...but your prob right (NOTE: I AM right)

The Dude: it was such a better made film, and it was short, and it was stupid, and it damn well KNEW it

3D: hahaha
3D: that's all we ask, that they know what they are making and dont try to pretend

The Dude: that's why 3 Fast 3 Furious kicks as much ass as it does
The Dude: by any other accord, this movie should be a turd on the sidewalk

3D: haha

The Dude: but they KNOW what you want. You wanna see Fast cars and hot women and faster cars, and hotter chicks

3D: yes of course

The Dude: and i really want a GTO

3D: i want the new Charger

The Dude: yeah those are pretty cool

3D: that car looks SICK, but apparently it is going to be big $$$

The Dude: here's hoping mega millions pays off tonight

3D: hahaha

The Dude: it only takes a dollar and a dream, dude

3D: is your review of 3 F 3 F up on your blog yet?

The Dude: no. actually i'm thinking of saving this conversation and making it my review. Just put it up like this

3D: go for it

The Dude: because, i can;t really describe it better than I'm explaining to you
The Dude: I could talk about how bad the acting was

3D: but then who cares

The Dude: but that's not why you go see this movie

3D:you wanted to see fast cars and hot chicks

The Dude: exactly

3D: i want to go see this movie now i think

The Dude: right?

3D: hell they should make that the commercial
3D:"YOU WANNA SEE FAST CARS AND HOT CHICKS...
3D: SEE FAST AND THE FURIOUS: TOKYO DRIFT
3D: IT HAS FAST CARS AND HOT CHICKS"

The Dude: exactly. HA!
The Dude: and it looks like a real life video game
The Dude: and there's one cool character in it, who's not in it that much.
The Dude: and his name is Han
The Dude: like Han Solo
The Dude: only he's not Han Solo
The Dude: that reminds me, at work today I had to drive a director, and I had to take her kid somewhere first, and he's 5 and we talked about Star Wars for a lot of the trip

3D: cool...she hot?

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This is where I end the conversation, for fear of many things. Rest assured, we discussed many other things, such as how I'm becoming Ron Livingston's character in Office Space, the desire for a videogame based on Ronin, and explanations for why Triple Dave has yet to join Netflix.


But there you have it. Hot Japanese chicks, fast cars, loud music, and whenever the plot tries to come in, they get bored and throw in a hot chick and a fast car. In a word... Genius.

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