Box Office Report: Giant Fuckin Robots Edition

Dude here again. Yesterday was 7-7-07, and I didn't have any good luck at all. At least those giant concerts cured global warming, right? Isn't that what they were supposed to do? Here's hoping it worked, because it's so damn hot, I'm actually tempted to bring an egg outside and see if it will actually cook on the asphalt. Actually, I'm so damn hot, I'm almost tempted to pay money to see Live Free or Die Hard, just so I can be in air conditioning. You read that correctly.

This weekend, in a move that will surprise absolutely nobody at all, including monks in seclusion in the Himalayas, the giant robots took in an obscene amount of money. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates, the actuals will be available on Monday. Just to prove me wrong).

1. Transformers (Par/DW) - $67.6, 4011 screens, week 1, $152.5 total (Mon. opening)

2. Ratatouille (Dis/Pix) - $29.0, 3940 screens, week 2, $109.5 total

3. Live Free or Die Hard (Fox)- $17.4, 3411 screens, week 2, $84.16 total

4. License to Wed (WB) - $10.4, 2604 screens, week 1, $17.8 total (Tues. opening)

5. Evan Almighty (Uni) - $8.1, 3460 screens, week 3, $78.1 total

6. 1408 (MGM/Dim) - $7.1, 2631 screens, week 3, $53.789 total

7. Knocked Up (Uni) - $5.159, 2219 screens, week 6, $132.0 total

8. Fantastic 4: Rise Of The Silver Surfer (Fox) - $4.15, 2618 screens, week 4, $123.79 total

9. Sicko (LGF) - $3.65, 702 screens, week 3, $11.5 total

10. Ocean's 13 (WB) - $3.5, 2102 screens, week 5, $109.1 total

Ok, those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that the giant robots delivered, and in turn, a whole lot of people delivered the robots their cash. It also means that a movie can open on a Monday night, and have a 6-day weekend to make an obscene amount of money, which it did. In fact, for a little fun comparison, Transformers, in 6 days, made almost 4 times what Michael Bay's last movie, The Island, made in it's entire run. Just something to think about. Also, Transformers hit a record in there, as the biggest July 4th take in history, taking in almost $30 million alone that day. Whether or not people return for repeat business remains to be seen,

For some unknown reason, Warner Brothers felt the need to counter-program a Robin WIlliams comedy against the robots. This is wrong on many levels, primary among them Robin WIlliams is not funny anymore. Hasn't been since Death to Smoochy. Dramatic roles, bring it on, but movies like RV, and now License to Wed should make Williams look at his Academy Award and remember when he does good work. Here's hoping. Oh, and the movie did horribly against the robots. And a rat. And Bruce Willis.

Speaking of those two, the holdovers did surprisingly well over the holiday week, with Ratatouille increasing it's take, and Die Hard looking to become the most successful film in the franchise. Which is rather disheartening, but what are you gonna do? Sicko expanded its theater count and only dropped 19% from last week, which bodes well for it, but it will not make Fahrenheit numbers, nor Penguin numbers. Maybe global warming numbers. (If it hasn't been cured yet). The other holdovers dropped, including a departure from the ten of mainstay Pirates, most likely because Transformers booted them out of shows to make room for interlocks at the multiplex.

(For those who don't know what I'm talking about, interlocking is when a movie theater projectionist will run one print between two or more screens, so that they all show one movie, and theaters can seat more people for a popular movie over a movie that's not making anything. It's very common, but if it breaks down, you have not one but multiple packed houses full of anger waiting to kick your ass if you don't get the movie fixed. Trust me, I had a flashback to a Spiderman 2 opening night lynching for me because of it. And there was the 8 Mile incident.)

And in the "Because It's There" series: Low Cool took in $0 on 0 screens, bringing it's grand total to $0 in 0 weeks.

There you have my break down. Next week, or Wednesday I guess, we have the return of the boy wizard Mr. Potter, and we shall see how good he can hold his own against a second frame of robot carnage. Also, the latest addition to the torture porn genre finally gets released, a little too late to the game, though, as most people feel the genre is over and done with. Will this prove the exception to the rule? I asked the magic 8 ball, and all signs point to no. Of course, it says that when I ask it about the cute chick at work too, but then again, it's been right then, too.

Until next weekend.... (WIZARDS!)