BIG FIGHTING ROBOTS!!!

Transformers. More than meets the eye. Autobots wage their battle to destroy the evil forces of the Decepticons.

I can't properly review Transformers. Honestly, it's something that you're either going to love or hate. You probably even know before you go into the movie, because you really get out of it what you put into it. Here's what I can tell you: I loved it. I had a great time. I had so much fun from beginning to end. I had a big stupid grin on my face and watched some robots fighting. It was glorious. It is the first time I understand the analogy of a film to a roller coaster ride. You strap yourself in, enjoy what's before, it's loud, it's noisy, it's fun and exciting, and then it's over.

Therein lies the rub. Afterwards, I started to think about the movie. Like, really think about it. And I'm kind of angry at myself for liking it. There are many things wrong about this movie. There are far too many characters that aren't robots that aren't fighting, even if they are cute with their Australian accents. There's a lot of goofy teenager stuff that you either dig or you don't. (It depends on your LeBeuf tolerance. Mine is remarkably high). It should be noted that his comedic timing is almost as perfect as his ability to dodge giant robots and debris. (He's just as lucky as Tom Cruise in War of the Worlds). John Turturro wanders in from the set of Brain Donors, and is just as hilarious. (I guess Buscemi was booked). Nobody notices giant robots outside, there's a good hour until we really see any robots... too many things.

And I'm not really a Transformers fan. I watched the cartoon when I was younger, but don't remember much about it. I played with the toys, but don't remember all their names. The only notable things I recall about the animated movie was it provided the song Mark Wahlberg sings in Boogie Nights, and it was the first time I heard a cartoon character swear. (Grandma was quite shocked at that moment). So I'm not even getting hung up on fanboy mythologies, and character arcs and stuff like that. I'm in it to see fighting robots.

See what I mean? There is a lot wrong with this movie. And I loved every minute of it. I'm seriously torn.

However, when the robots start fighting, it's beautiful.