Unemployed Couch Viewings

"An author is a fool who, not content with boring those he lives with, insists on boring future generations."

I thought that amusing and whimsical, and yet all too true.

Anyway, I have some mini-tweeners for y'all today. As I have no real job anymore, I spend a lot of time on my couch, while it's still here, along with our home theater set-up. So, I have a lot of films to watch and all the time in the world to do just that. If only I could get paid...

Silent Hill- Missed this one when it came out, although I really wanted to see it. It truly is a 2 hour Tool video, but it's pretty damn cool. I can't tell you what it's about for the life of me, though. I'm still trying to figure it out myself. The film itself is bursting with atmosphere, and visually, it's beautiful. The dude with the pyramid head is badass, and the ending is something straight out of Hellraiser, if the Hellraiser movies were ever given a budget greater than a direct to video series. So very creepy, but even with a grainy, ten minute super-8 scene that's all exposition, I still can't make heads or tails of the flick. Worth checking out, though. It's also one of the best video game adaptations since Super Mario Brothers.

Scary Movie 4- Movie spoofs have gotten kind of lazy lately. Most of them are too wrapped up in making the joke that they forget about the movie. Scary Movie 4 is no exception. It's full of random, stupid pointless parodies of recent movies, like Brokeback Mountain. It also sort of relies on you having seen The Grudge, The Village, Saw, Million Dollar Baby, and War of the Worlds. Or at least having seen the trailers for said movies. It's a loose pastiche, that manages to somewhat tie together in the loosest of possible ways. And yet, I caught myself laughing out loud at quite a few things. Specifically, Craig Bierko in the War of the Worlds parody. He's genius. Some of his bits fall flat, but damn is he funny. If it's late, and you're in an altered state of mind, and it's on, check it out. There are a lot worse things out there.

The Lake House- Fuck y'all, I really liked it.

Edmond- Here's a strange movie. It's directed by Stuart Gordon, who brought us Re-animator and my personal favorite Fortress. (The one with the intestinators!). But it's not a horror film, or even a psychological thriller. It's straight up strange. It's based on a play by David Mamet, who adapted the script as well. It stars William H. Macy as Edmond (title). He begins the movie by ending his marriage with his wife, then he goes on a quest through the city (I think it was supposed to be New York, but it was clearly LA, if you know the geography of the town) searching for sexual satisfaction he can not gain from his wife. It's very strange, and it goes places most movies wouldn't. But it's got a killer Macy performance, and decent supporting turns from most of the cast. (Mena Suvari wasn't all that good, but Julia Stiles didn't annoy me too much). It is pretty weird, though. Especially Edmond's choices leading to the finale.

Hard Candy- Holy crap, this movie is awesome. Right now, it's on par with Proposition for my favorite flick of the year. It's intense, and twisted as hell, but I never took my eyes off the screen. I'm pissed I missed this one in theaters. What's fascinating about the film is that it's essentially a 2 person film. It's the story of Hayley (Ellen Page) and Jeff (Patrick Wilson). Jeff is a photographer and internet predator, trolling chat rooms trying to ensnare teen girls. Hayley is his latest victim. Or is she?!?!? I highly reccommend this film. It's shot beautifully, cut well, and acted perfectly. Ellen Page is brilliant as Hayley, and you can't take your eyes off her. Completely different from her role as Kitty Pryde in X3: Hey We Tried. And she's 19, not 14, so you can't feel bad for finding her slightly attractive, despite the pedophile theme of the film. Patrick Wilson is also quite good, as you never quite know if he is indeed responsible for touching young girls in inappropriate ways. Goddamn this is one good movie.

I also caught Thank You For Smoking (you can read my original review over at moviesonline), Cars, and aforementioned Proposition. Smoking and Cars are being evaluated for their Home Theater potential, and thus will not be written about here, for fear of not receiving a check from the lovely folk at the magazine. Do yourself a favor and pick up a Home Theater Magazine. Even if you don't have a home theater. The more you read it, the more reviews I get. And lord knows I need the rent money.

Until next time. Next time being tomorrow when I have even less to do.

PS- It should also be noted that I discovered our On Demand capabilities, and for reasons I can not, repeat NOT, explain I watched Battlefield Earth. In a surprising move, it should be noted that this choice was a completely sober one, baffling us all.