Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Britney Spears' Crotch

Ok, so she dumps K-Fed, which is completely understandable. And she does it the same way (and day) that Dan of DanSpeak was dumped: via text message. At least it wasn't a MySpace comment, although I have a feeling that's soon to happen.

But then she starts hanging out with Paris Hilton, hitting all the popular night spots in town. (So I'm told, I don't really get out much to frequent the hot LA spots. Unless you consider my apartment a hot spot. And it's actually really cold at the moment. But the liquor's cheap and the party never ends).

Oh right, so Britney is hanging out with Paris Hilton, and I'm pissed I'm not the first person to label this picture "Dumb and Dumberer"

But damn, girl, what the hell is up with you flashing your crotch every night? It's almost at the point where I'm bored. Me! Bored! With free porn! From Britney Spears, who used to be hot until she accepted K-Fed's wang in her photogenic ready groin.

Do you think the paparazzi are getting bored with her junk yet? Like they hang around, outside the club, drawing straws to see who winds up being the unlucky guy to have to take the picture?

I hear her vagina's hired a publicist, and it started a fight with Lindsey Lohan.

A few questions I have about this whole thing:

1) Do you think Britney's contracted anything from her exposed crotch being on Paris Hilton's car seat?

b) Ummmm, didn't Britney have, like, 2 kids? Where'd they go? Did she give up the fad? Like kaballah?

4) Why am I spending time writing about this, and reading about her crotch, when I should be looking for a job?

f) What the hell happened to me?

13) Now that Hillary Duff is single, you think she'd go for me?


shaygo said...

brit has got to chill out -- she's going to destroy her hot sexy janat jackson style comeback if she keeps this shit up -- and i love me a good comeback. also, i never need to see her crotch again. i get it she waxes the whole damn thing -- I GET IT!!!

and also we always see baby #1 but where the f is baby#2? i'm beginning to think that it's either a made-up baby or seriously brain damaged which wouldn't be so shocking considering the parents. am i going to birth a brain damaged child now for making that joke? goddammit!

and is ms. duff were smart she'd not only date you but marry you and fund all your movies.

-Brady said...

I like the funding of the movies part, let me know when you start dating her so I can save some money to fly out to Hollyweirdland and help you our with the films. Of course maybe she could fly me out.
Hold Fast-

Formerly, The Dude Spoke said...

I could make a movie, call it "My Date With Hillary", and I can be a neurotic ass who spends an entire movie and exploits Circuit City's 30 day return policy, in order to go out with a girl 9 years younger than myself.

Of course, I would have to throw in robots.