Monday, June 19, 2006

3 Fast 3 Furiouser!

Hey, did you see Vin Diesel at the end of 3 Fast 3 Furious: Lost in Translation vs. Mothra?


I did. And I haven't even seen the ending.

Or the middle or begining for that matter.

I saw it in the ad. (And to be fair, I read a spoiler on Ain't It Cool News from someone who went to a test screening and said that's how it closed out.)

And yet, here I am talking about it. Why? Because I saw Vin Diesel in the damn ad. Way to go marketing people. Way to give up the only possible moment of cool to embrace the whole damn film. That would have been a nice surprise, like when Connery shows up at the end of Robin Hood, or Lance Henriksen at the end of Super Mario Brothers. (I had no idea that was coming, did you?)

But no. You figured that audiences wouldn't go see a Diesel-less (or, sadly, more to the point a Walker-less) movie about being fast and/or furious. so they blow their wad for 1 second of air time. it's just kind of sad.

Now, I could be wrong. It could happen at the beginning of the movie, sort of start us out right. But I have a feeling that's not the case. Unless Paul Walker swings down on a rope, and says "BRO!" the whole time down, there's nothing left about this film to surprise me.

Well, except maybe it actually being GOOD. Lord knows it can't be worse than 2 Fast 2 Furious, which I recently read has the distinction of being the most unintentionally homoerotic film since Top Gun.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Walker.

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