Box Office Report: Saw Saws See Saw. 3D

Dude here again. Happy Halloween! The box office reports have been sporadic, for this I apologize. Lots of changes going on in my life. Suffice it to say, it involves massive amounts of guns, strippers, booze, cars, and shenanigans. But who needs shenanigans when we have money to talk about?

That's the lesson I learned from that movie that's out now.

This weekend, a return to Halloween normalcy. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. Saw 3D (LGF) - $22.5, 2808 screens, week 1, $24.2 total

2. Paranormal Activity 2 (ParV) - $16.5, 3239 screens, week 2, $65.6 total

3. Red (Sum)- $10.8, 3349 screens, week 3, $58.9 total

4. Jackass 3-D (Par)- $8.4, 3139 screens, week 3, $101.5 total

5. Hereafter (WB) - $6.3, 2424 screens, week 3, $22.1 total

6. Secretariat (BV) - $5.0, 3072 screens, week 4, $44.7 total

7. The Social Network (Sony)- $4.7, 2767 screens, week 5, $79.7 total

8. Life As We Know It (WB)- $4.0, 2860 screens, week 4, $43.4 total

9. The Town (WB)- $1.9, 1608 screens, week 7, $87.6 total

10. Conviction (FoxS) $1.8, 565 screens, week 3, $2.3 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that going the 3D route was the shot in the arm the Saw franchise needed to end out on top. Sure, it will probably be "Rebooted" in a year or so, but let's enjoy this while we can.

Paranormal Activity in second place. Remember that nonsense when the director of Saw 6 was gonna make that Paranormal Activity, then the Saw guys were all "Screw you, pal, you gotta make this last Saw movie"? You think they're gonna ask that guy to make the third Paranormal Activity?

Conviction made its way to the top ten, huh? Good job. No idea what it is aside from Sam Rockwell is probably involved.

Fun Fact: actor Richard Crenna invented tartar sauce!

Below the radar, The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest, the third in the popular line of Swedish translations of those books you see everyone have at the airport and the starbucks, it opened up on 153 and took in $915,000. Also opening was Monsters, which opened on 3 screens and took in $21,000. (That one may also be available on your On Demand station. Technology!)

So there, you have my amazing break down. Next week, Megamind and Hangover 2. I mean Due Date. But you know I really mean Hangover 2. 

Until next weekend....

(All Numbers courtesy of Box Office Mojo)

Uzi 9mm

Part of a series.

We're Just a Couple of Regular Guys, Walking Down the Street, With a Small Cowboy

Box Office Report: The Return

Dude here again. Some may say I missed last week's box office report because I was recovering from a Tandori wedding hangover, but I was merely protesting that far too many people voluntarily elected to see Life As We Know It. Rarely do I question the taste of the populace, but this was one of those times.

Seriously, who could willingly see that?

This weekend, the world is right again. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. Jackass 3-D (Par)- $50.0, 3081 screens, week 1, $50.0 total

2. Red (Sum)- $22.5, 3255 screens, week 1, $22.5 total

3. The Social Network (Sony)- $11.0, 2868 screens, week 3, $63.1 total

4. Secretariat (BV) - $9.5, 3072 screens, week 2, $27.5 total

5. Life As We Know It (WB)- $9.2, 3150 screens, week 2, $28.8 total

6. Legend of the Guardians (WB) - $4.2, 2502 screens, week 4, $46.0 total

7. The Town (WB)- $4.0, 2368 screens, week  5, $80.5 total

8. My Soul To Take (Uni) - $3.1, 2529 screens, week 2, $11.9 total

9. Easy A (ScrGms) - $2.6, 2314 screens, week 5, $52.3 total

10. Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps (Fox) $2.3, 2045 screens, week 4, $47.8 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that finally, good sense prevails, and the number one movie is the most deserving. The Jackass boys blew away their previous openings (some will accuse the inflated 3-D prices) and proved once again that the world loves movies where idiots get hit in the junk.

Opening in second is Red, Bruce Willis and other older actors firing machine guns, and hopefully swearing up a storm. Just noticed the PG-13 rating, so it's probably just Grumpy Old Men with weaponry. Which is not a bad thing. Anyway, it, was an impressive opening, especially for Bruce WIllis, because if we elect to see him in other movies, the possibilities of Die Hard 5 are slimmer and slim… Nevermind, just read that it's fast-tracked. There is no justice.

Everything else is slipping silently. Social Network continues to chug along nicely. Finally saw it, but was more than a little disappointed at the lack of Farmville jokes.

Fun Fact: There is a scene in Wall Street 2 where money, in fact, DOES sleep!

Below the radar, no small release indie horror flicks, but more Oscar-bation as Hereafter, starring Matt Damon and directed by Clint Eastwood, opened on 6 screens and took $231,000. Also, Conviction, starring Hilary Swank, opened on 11 screens to take in $110,000. Time will tell if these movies will win numerous awards.

So there, you have my amazing break down. Next week, a popular horror movie released this time last year gets a sequel, and the word Saw is not involved. Thankfully, neither is the phrase "3-D". However, that will happen the following week.

I had fun with the Michael Bay app thingie.

Until next weekend....

(All Numbers courtesy of Box Office Mojo)

In Honor Of Brady's Geocities Comment

I decided to provide this link that will let you turn any website into a Geocities inspired masterpiece.

So, I went and did this.

Decided to try something new.

If it's too weird and upsetting let me know. I'm still not 100% on it and I'm gonna fool around with it for a bit.

Not too much, though. We all know what happens when there's too much tinkering.

We get multiple editions on outdated media.

Anyway, let me know what you think. Like I said, it's not always gonna be like this. But figured I'd give it a whirl.

Fun Things To While Away the Hours at Work.

Here's a video for a band, or something. They're called Hollerado. My friend Daphne was involved in the video's creation.



Fun Fact: She also appears in the video, in the box on the bottom row, second from the left.

Here's a link to the preview for The Revenged, an Ed Klau joint. I didn't edit the trailer that runs, but I edited the scene that I have to finish cutting so we can put it on the site. Also, note that the trailer starts right up when you click the link, just be warned in case of weird noises.

And here's a video of a bullet spinning on ice, after being shot. I assume this means you shouldn't try it at home, but lord knows you want to.

You really really want to.


Talkin Tweeners: in case anybody cares, I still haven't seen Facebook movie, but I did see The Town (Quite Solid), Let Me In (Very Solid, if wholly unnecessary) and Resident Evil 4, which I summed up as the greatest Tool video ever made.

Looking back at that paragraph, I think I have to devise some sort of review system, something akin to "Thumbs Up", yet incorporating the word "Solid."

ie. "Fuckin Solid" = 5 stars
"Quite Solid" = 4 stars
"Solid"= etc.

I don't know, just something to think about.


WERE YOU AWARE... that the majority of traffic directed to this site randomly from Google Search is the word "Kuato" the misspelled "Cuato"?

So let's give the people what they want. More Cuato!!!

Open Your Mind

(For what it's worth, I always hoped I would be searched out for that Karl Urban quote fixation I had awhile back).

I did too, Dude - K.U.

Are there any Wes Anderson fans out there? Here's a nifty link to some early work he did while still in school. I found it interesting, but I also haven't subscribed to the hipster notion that he sucks isn't at the level he used to be. Again, I don't subscribe to it.

And speaking of Wes Anderson...



(Didn't think you'd get away without that, did you?)

Also, there's this now

It's Grover doing the Old Spice commercial. Which is kinda fantastic, really.

Box Office Report: Out of Facebook puns

So, Facebook movie is number one.

I was at a weekend event, and didn't get around to writing the report.

So instead, enjoy this video of a sexy lady pole dance with a ninja sword.

EMBED-Hot Chick Is A Pole-Dancing Ninja - Watch more free videos

Remarkably, it's fine for work.

Box Office Report: How Do I Unlike?

Dude here again. Has anyone been watching the current crop of new television shows? They're just as disappointing as all the summer blockbusters were this past summer. What the hell is going on? Are we just in a creative lull? Are people caring about other, more important things?

Like the upcoming elections taco salad? .

This weekend, the Facebook movie finally came out, along with two spoooooky movies. Because it's October, so we get horror movies and Oscar-Bation flicks. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. The Social Network (ScrGms)- $23.0, 2771 screens, week 1, $23.0 total

2. Legend of the Guardians (WB) - $10.8, 3575 screens, week 2, $30.0 total

3. Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps (Fox) $10.1, 3565 screens, week 2, $35.8 total

4. The Town (WB)- $10.0, 2935 screens, week  3, $64.3 total

5. Easy A (ScrGms) - $7.0, 2974 screens, week 3, $42.4 total

6. You Again (BV) - $5.5, 2548 screens, week 2, $16.4 total

7. Case 39 (ParV)- $5.35, 2211 screens, week 1, $5.35 total

8. Let Me In (Over)- $5.30, 2020 screens, week 1, $5.30 total

9. Devil (Uni) - $3.6, 2392 screens, week 3, $27.3 total

10. Alpha and Omega (LGF)- $3.0, 2303 screens, week 3, $19.0 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that some audiences managed to go to a theater, and tweet their status to "Seeing the Facebook movie" on their iPhones while watching the Facebook movie. Sure, it's being heralded as one of the best movies of this year, but I still feel it's been far too overhyped, and this weaker than predicted open kind of makes it the Kick-Ass of Oscar Bait.

More interesting is the case of Case 39, a movie filmed four years ago and finally now seeing the light of day. (Or darkened room, technically). It opened up to somewhat expected business (Probably better than anyone involved hoped), but also makes almost the same amount of money as Let Me In, the American remake of the Swedish horror hit from two years ago. How odd.

The case with Let Me In also begs the question, do audiences not care for these remakes? Or was there not even a big enough audience, because the vampires actually killed people instead of brooded and sparkled and pined for the mumble queen?

These are the questions we should be asking. 

Way to go Snyder Owls! (Really just wanted to say that). 

Fun Fact: After 12 weeks, Inception dropped off the top ten, but on Arthur's dream level it will take another year and a half to actually fall.

Below the radar, more horror movies opened up in limited release, including Chain Letter, which took in $143,000 on 406 screens, with a sad per screen average of $352. Hatchet 2 also opened, (UNRATED!!!), but only made $62,000 on 68 screens. This does not bode well for more unrated releases. In documentary releases, Freakonomics, an adaptation of the best selling non-fiction book, took in $33,000 on 17 screens. 

So there, you have my amazing break down. Next week, more of the same, as more horror flicks and Oscar Bait hopefuls are released.

Until next weekend....

(All Numbers courtesy of Box Office Mojo)

Box Office Report: Money Slept Here Once, But Just Once

Dude here again. Fall is here, except where I live in Los Angeles, where traffic finally let up and allowed summer to stop by for a little bit.

But let's talk about money and corporations, instead.

This weekend, another 20+ year sequel arrives and takes the top, while 3D animation falters again. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps (Fox) $19.0, 3565 screens, week 1, $19.0 total

2. Legend of the Guardians (WB) - $16.3, 3575 screens, week 1, $16.3 total

3. The Town (WB)- $16.0, 2885 screens, week 2, $49.1 total

4. Easy A (ScrGms) - $10.7, 2856 screens, week 2, $32.8 total

5. You Again (BV) - $8.3, 2548 screens, week 1, $8.3 total

6. Devil (Uni) - $6.4, 2811 screens, week 2, $21.7 total

7. Resident Evil: Afterlife (ScrGms)- $4.9, 2642 screens, week 3, $52.0 total

8. Alpha and Omega (LGF)- $4.7, 2625 screens, week 2, $15.1 total

9. Takers (ScrGms)- $1.6, 1413 screens, week 5, $54.9 total

10. Inception (WB)- $1.2, 907 screens, week 11, $287.0 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that either 80s' nostalgia will never peak, or Oliver Stone had a compelling enough story relating to current economic climes and enough sense to cast "El Beef" as his lead. Wall Street 2: Electric Boogaloo managed to take the top spot, though in an odd, possible ironic parallel, it didn't make too much money.

Truth be told, I made up calling Shia LeBouf "El Beef", but can y'all do me a favor and start spreading it around. I would appreciate it.

Coming in second is Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole, which is about a bunch of owls reenacting 300. It took in impressive numbers, but not impressive enough in this age of 3D animation domination. Looks like Zack Snyder's gonna have to go back to making extremely violent R-rated movies.

You Again? Not even the first time. Think about it.

Let's take a moment and give mad props to Ben "Phantoms" Affleck, who has directed a genuine hit with The Town, and may be garnering some awards buzz. Well done.

Fun Fact: Resident Evil - Afterlife is the greatest feature length Tool video EVER!!!

Below the radar, (deep breath…) Ryan Reynolds was Buried, took in $104,000 on 11 screens, the raunch-fest The Virginity Hit made $300,000 on 700 screens, Woody Allen's latest You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger took in $163,000 on 6 screens, Franco as Ginsberg in poem adaptation Howl took in $54,000 also on 6 screens, Gaspar Noe's latest Enter The Void opened on 3 screens and took in $42,300, and Waiting For "Superman", the latest from the Inconvenient Truth guy who's not Al Gore, took in $141,000 on 4 screens, and had the highest per screen average of all this week.

So there, you have my amazing break down. Next week, we see the Facebook movie and the Let The Right One in remake, both of which I should hate on general principle yet I can't wait to see with a fever pitch.

Until next weekend....

(All Numbers courtesy of Box Office Mojo)

You talkin to me? You talkin to... wait, wrong movie.

Goodfellas was released 20 years ago. I feel old.

Here is a ridiculously amazing recounting of the production at GQ.

Kenny Fuckin Powers

So big, he's busting through my blog proportions!

Box Office Report: Bad Pun Related to Number One Movie

Dude here again. Random introductory blather that may reflect current trends. Snarky observations, personal asides, and obscure pop culture references may also be substituted. Also, apologies for lethargy.

Pithy one-liner to coincide with first paragraph.

This weekend, witty/shameful one line about the number one movie sandwiched between template that literally hasn't changed in five years. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. The Town (WB)- $23.8, 2861 screens, week  1, $23.8 total

2. Easy A (ScrGms) - $18.2, 2856 screens, week 1, $18.2 total

3. Devil (Uni) - $12.5, 2809 screens, week 1, $12.5 total

4. Resident Evil: Afterlife (ScrGms)- $10.1, 3209 screens, week 2, $43.9 total

5. Alpha and Omega (LGF)- $9.2, 2625 screens, week 1, $9.2 total

6. Takers (ScrGms)- $3.0, 2139 screens, week 4, $52.3 total

7. The American (Foc) - $2.7, 2457 screens, week 3, $32.8 total

8. Inception (WB)- $2.0, 1305 screens, week 10, $285.1 total

9. The Other Guys (Sony) - $2.0, 1827 screens, week 7, $115.4 total

10. Machete (Fox) $1.7, 1704 screens, week 3, $24.3 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that a) if movie is well liked and deserved to be number one, accolades and praise to all involved and public masses for electing to choose a good film; or b) if movie is stupid but made lots of money, cast shame and derision towards public masses and their intelligence levels.

If other movie opens, note how it did in comparison to either the number one movie or previous films from star/director. If third new release opens, repeat step two.

If third or more release opens and performs miserably, make awful pun based on it's name in relation to it's poor performance.

If you feel like it, report on older releases that are just barely scraping by until they're released on DVD in two months.

Fun Fact: This is a newer feature that doesn't really have to be fun to anybody but me, but try to include as many MacGruber or Twilight references as possible because the hits go up when the words "new Kristin Stewart pics", "Twilight", and "MacGruber" are put in the same search engine.

Below the radar, indie films are discussed because not too many other people shine enough light on them. Make sure to note how the intelligent ones will have a higher per screen average than the number one movie in the country, although that comparison really means nothing. It's the reassuring pat on the back.

So there, you have my amazing break down. Next week, discuss how something awesome or stupid is coming out the next weekend. Lather, rinse repeat.

Until next weekend....

(Bizarre photo procured from another site on the internet).

(Thank the good people at Box Office Mojo for doing all the hard work for you)

Box Office Report: Afterlife

Dude here again. There's a confession I need to make: I'm supremely jealous of all the awesome movies being shown at Toronto Fest this week, while I'm stuck with Resident Evil 4. Sure, it's in 3D, but that fest has so many interesting looking movies, it makes you wonder why we had to suffer through this past crappy summer.

Except for Jonah Hex and Piranha 3D, obviously.

This weekend, there's no disputing who's number one, as that's a mighty large gap. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. Resident Evil: Afterlife (ScrGms)- $27.7, 3203 screens, week 1, $27.7 total

2. Takers (ScrGms)- $6.1, 2191 screens, week 3, $48.1 total

3. The American (Foc) - $5.8, 2833 screens, week 2, $26.7 total

4. Machete (Fox) $4.2, 2678 screens, week 2, $20.8 total

5. Going The Distance (NL)- $3.8, 3030 screens, week 2, $14.0 total

6. The Other Guys (Sony) - $3.6, 2246 screens, week 6, $112.6 total

7. The Last Exorcism (LGF) - $3.4, 2731 screens, week 3, $38.1 total

8. The Expendables (LGF)- $3.2, 3058 screens, week 5, $98.4 total

9. Inception (WB)- $3.0, 1583 screens, week 9, $282.4 total

10. Eat Pray Love (Sony) - $2.9, 2339 screens, week 5, $74.6 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that if you make a Resident Evil movie, pretty much the same amount of people will come to see it. Sure, it made more than the others, but there's also 3D prices to contend with, so it evens out. Still, this consistency is pretty impressive for a series on its fourth film, and one that had to surrender to the massive onslaught of 3D product.

Other than Resident Evil, there is nothing worth reporting, really. I'm amazed The American made as much money as it did, Machete should be making more, but isn't. The Expendables is almost at $100 million, which will be the first time in a long time for Stallone. Inception continues to make money, etc.

It's yet another sorbet palate cleanser of a weekend, to wash away the tastes of summer to make room for the fall movies.

Fun Fact: This summer saw the return of Dolph Lundgren AND Steven Seagal to the big screen! Alas, no Van Damme.

Below the radar, there's a film called The Romantics, which wants to be this generation's version of The Big Chill, opened up on 2 screens and took in $44,400, which is the highest per screen average of all the movies out there this week.

So there, you have my amazing break down. Next week, four big releases of varying genres, thus begins the madness of fall.

Until next weekend....

(All Numbers courtesy of Box Office Mojo)

Dude Matrix

(Thanks Brady)

Acting Doesn't Get Much Better Than This

Everything Chris Klein Says in "The Legend of Chun Li" from Jeff Rubin on Vimeo.

If You Choose Not To Decide

YOU STILL HAVE MADE A CHOICE!!!

Box Office Report: Machete Don't Text

Dude here again. Well, it's Labor Day weekend over in these parts, which means the end of crappy summer flicks and the beginning of pretentious Oscar-bait flicks! Personally, though, I prefer the January dumping grounds, but it's a nice change of seasons.

It's kind of sad that these are my seasons, but in LA, it's the only way you know what month is it.

This weekend, the estimates are even tighter than last weekend's neck-and-neck race. But as with most things in life, Clooney shall prevail. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday, as these are holiday numbers).

1. The American (Foc) - $12.9, 2823 screens, week 1, $16.1 total

2. Takers (ScrGms)- $11.4, 2206 screens, week 2, $37.9 total

3. Machete (Fox) $11.3, 2670 screens, week 1, $11.3 total

4. The Last Exorcism (LGF) - $7.6, 2874 screens, week 2, $32.4 total

5. Going The Distance (NL)- $6.8, 3030 screens, week  3, $6.8 total

6. The Expendables (LGF)- $6.5, 3398 screens, week 4, $92.1 total

7. The Other Guys (Sony) - $5.4, 2607 screens, week 5, $106.8 total

8. Eat Pray Love (Sony) - $4.8, 2663 screens, week 4, $68.9 total

9. Inception (WB)- $4.5, 1704 screens, week 8, $277.1 total

10. Nanny McPhee Returns (Uni)- $3.5, 2708 screens, week 3, $22.4 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that George Clooney rules all! How smooth is he? He tricked boat loads of audiences into seeing his art film, by making people think it was an action thriller. That Clooney, so smooth.

In Clooney's wake is last week's champ Takers, which won the photo finish, and according to this, looks like it will do another photo finish over Machete, which is a film almost as fantastically gory as Piranha 3D and Expendables. It really needs to be seen to be believed, but apparently not too many people are going to see it.

Going The Distance? Looks like nobody's going the distance to the theater. Zing!

Nobody seems to care about those other movies. So I'm gonna follow suit. Sure, I could take this moment to wrap up the summer numbers, but that's a lot of work, dealing with a lot of money you and I will never see.

Fun Fact: Avatar - Special Edition is making MacGruber numbers!

Below the radar, there's this movie called A Woman A Gun and A Noodle Shop, which is a Chinese remake of the Coen Brother's first movie, Blood Simple, took in $27,700 on 5 screens. 

So there, you have my amazing break down. Next week, we got ourselves a new Resident Evil movie! And probably some other things too, as serious movies begin unfurling below our feet!

Until next weekend....

(All Numbers courtesy of Box Office Mojo)

You say you wanna see a movie?

You say you're tired of the studio crap that's been pumped down our throat all summer? That you desire to see a movie full of blood, guts, and destruction? And considerable amounts of nubile flesh?

Then you wanna see Piranha 3D.

Answer Yes or No to whether you like these things in movies about ravenous aquatic wildlife attacking spring break coeds:

Obvious Jaws references.

Underwater Nude Ballet.

Elizabeth Shue, still looking good.

Ving Rhames mowing down killer piranha with an outboard motor.

Eli Roth's head being crushed by a boat…

In 3D.

Underwater Nude Ballet featuring Kelly Brook.

Endless scenes of spring break carnage.

CHRISTOPHER LLOYD SHOUTING EVERY LINE!!!

Lots of eviscerated flesh.

Adam Scott on a jet ski with a shotgun.

A scene that involves a killer fish burping up breast implants and something far more grotesque.

Underwater Nude Ballet featuring Kelly Brook... in 3D!!!

(With that chick!)

Seriously, if you answered "No" to any of these movies, go eat pray and love somewhere else. For the rest of us people who like movies, enjoy the hell out of Piranha 3D.