You say you're tired of the studio crap that's been pumped down our throat all summer? That you desire to see a movie full of blood, guts, and destruction? And considerable amounts of nubile flesh?
Then you wanna see Piranha 3D.
Answer Yes or No to whether you like these things in movies about ravenous aquatic wildlife attacking spring break coeds:
Obvious Jaws references.
Underwater Nude Ballet.
Elizabeth Shue, still looking good.
Ving Rhames mowing down killer piranha with an outboard motor.
Eli Roth's head being crushed by a boat…
Underwater Nude Ballet featuring Kelly Brook.
Endless scenes of spring break carnage.
CHRISTOPHER LLOYD SHOUTING EVERY LINE!!!
Lots of eviscerated flesh.
Adam Scott on a jet ski with a shotgun.
A scene that involves a killer fish burping up breast implants and something far more grotesque.
Underwater Nude Ballet featuring Kelly Brook... in 3D!!!
Seriously, if you answered "No" to any of these movies, go eat pray and love somewhere else. For the rest of us people who like movies, enjoy the hell out of Piranha 3D.