Werner Herzog's Where's Waldo

Hobo With A Shotgun is now a reality.

Well, is on its way to becoming a reality.

Either way, I like it.

Sin (UPDATED!)

I find myself having dirty unhealthy wrong thoughts about this sandwich. Does that make me a bad person?

I need to try it. But I can already feel the illness the sandwich will bring about. Anyone try it yet?

I NEED TO KNOW!!!

UPDATE: Geekologie has this handy chart, which makes me feel a little better about myself.

Box Office Report: Reruns

Dude here again. Last week's confusion between what was actually the number one movie got me thinking about how I report the estimates and not the final numbers.. After I got the Date Night article wrong the week before, I figured it would better to wait things out instead of being the first to report on things that are wrong.

But then you go and give me a softball, so I'll knock this out and have a sandwich before wasting my day with Pong.

This weekend, nobody seems to want to care about going to the movies, and a five week old picture nabs the top. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. How To Train Your Dragon (Par/DW) $15.0, 3665 screens, week 5, $178.8 total

2. The Back-Up Plan (CBS) - $12.2, 3280 screens, week 1, $12.2 total

3. Date Night (Fox)- $10.6, 3294 screens, week 3, $63.4 total

4. The Losers (WB)- $9.6, 2936 screens, week 1, $9.6 total

5. Kick-Ass (LGF) - $9.5, 3065 screens, week 2, $34.8 total

6. Clash of the Titans (WB)- $9.0, 3271 screens, week 4, $145.6 total

7. Death at a Funeral (ScrGms) - $8.0, 2459 screens, week 2, $28.4 total

8. Oceans (BV)- $6.0, 1206 screens, week 1, $8.4 total

9. The Last Song (BV) - $3.7, 2794 screens, week 4, $55.3 total

10. Alice in Wonderland (BV)- $2.2, 1385 screens, week 8, $327.4 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that nobody cares about any movies that don't contain a man in a metal suit fighting other people in similar suits. Which opens up in two weeks. Until then, we get the 3-D inflated numbers pushing the Dragons on us again.

J Lo tried to do the wacky romantic comedy thing again, and made a paltry $12 million. Most of it probably from men making it up to their ladies for sitting through Kick-Ass last week.

The Losers… It's just too easy to come up with a bad pun. Especially for something that looks pretty good. I'll blame this under-performance on that volcano.

Oceans, a film I can only assume is the prequel to the George Clooney Ocean's 11, also opened up. And not very well. Seems Earth Day was only good to Avatar.

Last week's flicks dropped sharply. Again, volcanoes and lack of iron men.

Below the radar, I got nothing.

So there, you have my amazing break down. Next week a horror remake surprisingly not in 3-D tries to make some dough before people realize it's probably terrible. and Furry Vengeance opens as well, which might be a more terrifying film than the one with "Nightmare" in the title.

Until next weekend.......

(All Numbers courtesy of Box Office Mojo)

Belated Box Office Report: Kick-Ass edition.

Dude here again. So, I got a new computer this weekend, and really slacked off on the box office report because I was too busy importing 22 days worth of music. (Mostly of it Ethiopian Acid Jazz and Rush).

So... Yeeeeah. The top movie was Kick-Ass.

The End.



What you think about his company is what you say about society...

Are kids small... or just far away?

There are few words that can describe this Insane Clown Posse video. But it must be seen.

I know what you're thinking. "DUDE?!?! I know you have odd music taste, but why the fuck are you listening to songs by Insane Clown Posse?!?!"

And my answer is this: Larry, the guy who made The End Of Irony below, showed me this video. And it blew my mind.

Keep this in mind: This video is done with no sense of irony and is, for all intents and purposes, a genuine song. Also, allegedly the Clown-folk are very Christian, which explains the disdain in the scientist lyric.



Fuckin magnets. How do they work?

I don't find it necessary for anything to parody this work. It's sort of impossible to make it any more hilarious and amazing than it already is.

That being said, the two least likely folks managed to do come close on SNL last weekend.



Made me laugh. Parts, anyway.

Box Office Report: Date Edition

Dude here again. Another weekend has come and gone, as so many do, and that means there are dollars out of consumers' wallets and in the hands of the Hollywood bigwigs, who are no doubt lighting cigars with aforementioned dollars.

Because that's how they roll out in Hollyweird.

This weekend, A tight race for first place among the top 3, but the lead isn't in 3-D!! Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. Date Night (Fox)- $27.1, 3374 screens, week 1, $27.1 total

2. Clash of the Titans (WB)- $26.8, 3802 screens, week 2, $110.4 total

3. How To Train Your Dragon (Par/DW) $25.3, 4007 screens, week 3, $133.8 total

4. Why Did I Get Married Too? (LGF) - $11.0, 2155 screens, week 2, $48.5 total

5. The Last Song (BV) - $10.0, 2674 screens, week 2, $42.4 total

6. Alice in Wonderland (BV)- $5.6, 2530 screens, week 6, $319.3 total

7. Hot Tub Time Machine (MGM)- $5.4, 2611 screens, week 3, $36.9 total

8. The Bounty Hunter (Sony) - $4.3, 2901 screens, week 4, $56.0 total

9. Diary of a Wimpy Kid (Fox) - $4.1, 2453 screens, week 4, $53.7 total

10. Letters To God (Viv)- $1.1, 897 screens, week 1, $1.1 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means the star power of Steve Carrell and Tina Fey is just too much to be contained on a television screen. Date Night, despite a terrible marketing campaign, managed to trump the 3-D movies, the first time in 5 weeks that such a thing has happened! For that alone, this film escapes my derision.

Close on Date Night's heels, though, is the 1-2 punch (or 2-3 punch in this case) of Clash of the Titans and the Dragon movie that doesn't have Matthew McConaughey in it. Both films prove stalwart and hearty, despite a large drop for Clash which could bode well for future unnecessary 3-D transfers!

Opening at the bottom of the list is Letters to God, which tries to follow the Fireproof model of release from a few years back. Time will tell if it's another hit on that level, but something tells me the Christian films might be better off contemplating their next release in 3-D!

I promise I'll knock off the 3-D shit by the time the huge summer blockbusters come around, which is only in a few weeks!

We've let the Bounty Hunter make $56 million? And we couldn't pony up to make Gamer a hit? This world needs an enema.

Below the radar, a bunch of films opened up that I never heard of, so I'm not gonna bother talking about them, because I'm a jerk like that, and that's how I roll.

So there, you have my amazing break down. Next week I finally get to stop seeing the previews and finally get to see the actual movie of Kick Ass! Plus, they remade Death at a Funeral, despite the orginal opening up a few years ago.

Until next weekend.......


(All Numbers courtesy of Box Office Mojo)

The End of Irony

This is an awesome video for the band Captain Ahab. My friend Larry made it.

Larry is a genius. He also has a tattoo of Paul Verhoeven's signature on his leg, and he's known for it through lore. Oh, and he played "Slow Ricky" in Porky's The College Years.

Enjoy!

CAPTAIN AHAB "The End Of Irony" from Deathbomb Arc on Vimeo.

When life starts getting a little too real...

...I suddenly remember that I'm in the state that's ruled by Conan the Barbarian.

Did you see the crazy guy who reviewed The Phantom Menace?

If you didn't, and you have 70 minutes of spare time, I'd suggest you check out all of it.

That being said, in case you did, the crazy guy's Episode 2: Attack of the Clones deconstruction has been unleashed upon us all. This one runs 90 minutes, and I have yet to watch it all. But I can't wait. Hopefully he doesn't have as many jokes about randomly killing women he keeps tied up in the basement, but we'll see.

Enjoy! (Special Thanks to Aint It Cool, who put them all together and allowed a simple man like me just link to them)

Box Office Report: Release the Kraken

Dude here again. It being Easter, I've succumbed to a Ham-and-Peeps-induced coma. So you know what that means. LAZY NUMBERS REPORTING!!!

This weekend, a lot of movies opened and made money! Some in 3-D! Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. Clash of the Titans (WB)- $61.4, 3777 screens, week 1, $64.0 total

2. Why did I Get Married Too? (LGF) - $30.1, 2155 screens, week 1, $30.1 total

3. How To Train Your Dragon (Par/DW) $29.2, 4060 screens, week 2, $92.3 total

4. The Last Song (BV) - $16.2, 2673 screens, week 1, $25.5 total

5. Alice in Wonderland (BV)- $8.2, 2980 screens, week 5, $309.7 total

6. Hot Tub Time Machine (MGM)- $8.0, 2771 screens, week 2, $27.8 total

7. The Bounty Hunter (Sony) - $6.2, 3118 screens, week 3, $48.9 total

8. Diary of a Wimpy Kid (Fox) - $5.5, 2842 screens, week 3, $46.2 total

9. She's Out of My League (Par)- $1.4, 1390 screens, week 4, $28.6 total

10. Shutter Island (Par)- $1.4, 1356 screens, week 7, $123.4 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means Clash of the Titans made a bunch of money! Mostly because of 3-D ticket prices, probably, but I'm done bitching about that. Or am I?

Tyler Perry made a sequel that doesn't involve Madea!?!? If his next movie is in 3-D, then Tyler Perry will truly be unstoppable. Like Krull. (See? I didn't stop with the 3-D).

Dear lord, there was a Miley Cyrus movie released this weekend? When will it end? WHEN?!?!?!

Other movies aren't doing so well. But props to Hot Tub Time Machine for not dropping off huge and maintaining some semblance of success, but mostly because I like writing Hot Tub Time Machine as often as possible. (And I don't even get paid to do it).

Below the radar, The Greatest opened up on 8 screens and took in $37,000, which is not exactly the greatest. But that terrible joke is.

So there, you have my amazing break down. Next week is Date Night! And more Kraken.

Until next weekend.......



Michael Buble being stalked by a raptor.
(All Numbers courtesy of Box Office Mojo)

The Trailer For The Best Movie Of The Year.

There's no denying it.

This is not an April Fool's Day prank. I don't have it in me to do that this year.

Unless that's the April Fool!

Watch that trailer again. I'm gonna go prank call Bill Murray.