Sunday, January 31, 2010

Box Office Report: Mel Gibson tried

Dude here again. With your weekly Avatar report! Yes, I've decided to fully sell out and devote my entire article, and every writing from here on, to the magnificent splendor of James Cameron's Avatar. Sure there may be other movies out there, but can any of them match the wonder and beauty of the world of Pandora?

You know, besides the vampire movies with the sparkly emo kids?

This weekend, another film steps up to the plate and misses, as Mr. Cameron's masterpiece of technology and story continues its reign. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. Avatar (Fox) $30.0, 3074 screens, week 7, $594.4 total

2. Edge of Darkness (WB)- $17.1, 3066 screens, week 1, $17.1 total

3. When In Rome (BV)- $12.0, 2456 screens, week 1, $12.0 total

4. The Tooth Fairy (Fox) - $10.0, 3345 screens, week 2, $26.1 total

5. The Book of Eli (WB)- $8.7, 3075 screens, week 3, $74.3 total

6. Legion (ScrGm) - $6.8, 2476 screens, week 2, $28.6 total

7. The Lovely Bones (Par/DW)- $4.7, 2638 screens, week 8, $38.0 total

8. Sherlock Holmes (WB) - $4.5, 2250 screens, week 6, $197.5 total

9. Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (Fox) - $4.0, 2526 screens, week 6, $209.2 total

10. It's Complicated (Uni)- $3.7, 2096 screens, week 6, $104.0 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means it's time to put down the District 9 prawn language lesson book, and embrace the language of Na'Vi, because that's gonna be the new language of the world, now that Avatar has become the biggest money maker of all time! Yes indeed, it's all part of Mr. Cameron's glorious vision!

Mel Gibson, you hilarious rapscallion! You tried to star in a movie after 8 years of being gone and directing subtitled movies about beatings and monkey fights. But you had the misfortune to open up against Avatar. Shame, but it's nice to see you back. Might I suggest giving Danny Glover a call and starring as Pandoran Cops for Lethal Weapon 5?

When in Rome...

(That works best if you realize I'm impersonating Ron Burgundy, and his inability to grasp the meaning and proper use of the phrase "When in Rome". I have so little to say about that movie, I resorted to just quoting Anchorman instead!)

No other movie dares compete against the might of Sam Worthington! And that's the way it should be! Until Iron Man comes out. I didn't say that...

Below the radar, the Steve Buscmei starring Saint John of Las Vegas opened up on 2 screens and took in $22,400, which is the highest per screen average for the week. ALthough, you have to take into account the high price of non-3D tickets to truly get a sense of how much money the film has made, but it should be ignored due to the absence of the color blue in any and all advertising.

So there, you have my amazing break down. Next week, a sappy romantic drama and an action movie with John Travolta. Or maybe I mixed that up. Either way, it's probably still going to be Avatar on top. Because that's they way it should be! ALL HAIL CAMERON!!!!

Until next weekend.......

(All Numbers courtesy of

1 comment:

非凡 said...

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