Sunday, October 25, 2009

Box Office Report: Saw ___ Edition

Dude here again. I'm kind of amazed. It seems that a movie shot on a home video camera that's been out for 5 weeks and slowly expanding has taken on the Goliath that is the Saw franchise. And defeated it! I'm so shocked by this, that it needed to be discussed right away, instead of the usual esoteric nonsense greeting paragraph I'm accustomed to writing.

Ducks, bananas, and popcorn! (Had to do something weird, c'mon).

This weekend, up is down, black is white, dogs and cats live together! Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. Paranormal Activity (Par) - $22.0, 1945 screens, week 5, $62.4 total

2. Saw VI (LGF)- $14.8, 3036 screens, week 1, $14.8 total

3. Where The Wild Things Are (WB) - $14.4, 3735 screens, week 2, $53.9 total

4. Law Abiding Citizen (Over)- $12.7, 2890 screens, week 2, $40.3 total

5. Couples Retreat (Uni) $11.0, 3074 screens, week 3, $78.2 total

6. Astro Boy (Sum) - $7.0, 3014 screens, week 1, $7.0 total

7. The Stepfather (ScrGms) - $6.5, 2734 screens, week 2, $20.3 total

8. Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant (Uni)- $6.3, 2754 screens, week 1, $6.3 total

9. Cloudy With A Change Of Meatballs (Sony) - $5.6, 2741 screens, week 6, $115.2 total

10. Zombieland (Sony)- $4.3, 2447 screens, week 4, $67.3 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that Paranormal Activity followed the Blair Witch model one better, as it climbed to number one, a feat the Blair Witch was never able to do, despite the former film's enormous success. Still waiting for the backlash of "It's not that scary" that immediately followed Blair Witch, as well as a bizarre sequel.

Saw, we knew that this day would come sometime. We had a really great run, since October '04! I remember it well. But there are only so many homemade killing devices and traps that one can spring before people start to want other things. I'm not saying we can't be friends, Saw, but I think we should see other people.

Astro Boy is a movie about a boy robot, and like most movies about boy robots, not a lot of people saw it. Even fewer people went to see The Vampire's Assistant, which proves my maxim that Robots Trump Vampires. ALWAYS. (Take That Twilight!).

Sadly, in a disturbing metaphor for life, Robots, vampires, law abiding citizens, wild things, couples, saws, meatballs, and zombies ALL trump history, as Amelia, the story of Amelia Earhart, opened up in 11th place with just over $4 million. Insert "public schooling" joke here.

Below the radar, Antichrist, the divisive latest film from Lars Von Trier opened up on 6 screens and took in $73,000. Cult status soon to follow. Sadly, there are no numbers to report for Ong Bak 2, and this makes me sad.

There you have my amazing break down. Next week, a Michael Jackson cash cow (too soon?) and the Gentlemen Broncos, the latest from the director of Napoleon Dynamite tries to take it on in limited release. Watch for records to be broken and sadness to be caused by one of these films.

Until next weekend.......

(Bisontenniel, by Dr. Ronald Chevalier)

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