Box Office Report: Weak Sauce

Dude here again. Stuck with a cold, or the flu, or flu-like symptoms this week. It's a lot of fun, as everything I do seems to exhaust me right now. But that''s not gonna stop the numbers. Because nothing can stop the numbers!

Just like nothing can stop the Grimace. (From McDonalds).

This weekend, a very weak January weekend closes us out, with nothing really redeeming worth mentioning. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. The Rite (WB) - $15.0, 2985 screens, week 1, $15.0 total

2 No Strings Attached (Par) - $13.6, 3022 screens, week 2, $39.7 total

3. The Mechanic (CBS)- $11.5, 2703 screens, week 1, $11.5 total

4. Green Hornet (Sony) - $11.5, 3524 screens, week 3, $78.8 total

5. The Kings Speech (Wein)- $11.1, 2557 screens, week 10, $72.7 total

6. True Grit (Par)- $7.6, 3120 screens, week 6, $148.3 total

7. The Dilemma (Uni)- $5.4, 2901 screens, week 3, $40.6 total

8. Black Swan (FoxS) - $5.1, 2315 screens, week 9, $90.7 total

9. The Fighter (Par) $4.0, 1914 screens, week 8, $78.3 total

10. Yogi Bear (WB)- $3.1, 2133 screens, week 7, $92.5 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that exorcisms are the hot new horror trend that will be overdone within the next 18 months. Yes, despite a supremely lackluster opening, Anthony Hopkins and the devil managed to "scare" up a small amount and be declared the king. I'm really ashamed at myself about that "scare" line, but I figure I'd put it in quotes, as the film is also just as likely to "scare" you out of anything besides your hard earned money.

No Strings Attached (or as I like to call it, the less funny Blue Valentine) held on to a scond place, and didn't relinquish too much of last week's take. So good for Natalie Portman!

Ah, Statham. On the one hand, The Mechanic opened up and did about on par with normal Statham flicks. On the other, in the dead of January, it should have done much better. Still not stopping me from seeing it, at least.

The Oscar nominations were announced this week, which explains the continued presence and money collecting of King's Speech, True Grit, Black Swan, and The Fighter. Just below the top ten, 127 Hours expanded again, and had one of the best weekend performances since opening 13 weeks ago.

Fun Fact: Yogi Bear has almost approached the same tally as the OTHER Justin TImberlake movie, the one about the face books.

Below the radar, something called From Prada to Nada, which is apparently a hip, Latino retelling of Pride and Prejudice, opened up on 256 screens and took in $1.1 million! ALso, Biutiful finally opened up on more than 2 screens (57 to be exact) and took in $461,000. And because it's not just arty flicks below the radar, Ip Man 2, Hong Kong sequel to the pretty kick as Ip Man, opened up on 20 screens and took in $63,500. And Gregg Araki's Kaboom opened on one screen to take in $13,700, and the highest per screen average of this slow, slow weekend.

So there you have my amazing breakdown. Next week brings us more weakness as a PG-13 "thriller" is released, along with something else I don't really care about either.

Until next weekend....

(All Numbers courtesy of Box Office Mojo)

A New Blog

I've gone and made a new blog. It's called Stuff With Faces. It features a gallery of pictures I've taken of things in real life that have faces.

It sounds uber-pretentious when I say it like that. Here's a sneak peak, of an alternate of one of the posts to show you what I'm dealing with. Check it out, won't you?

They fell on the board that way, I snapped the pic.

So check it out. And if you like it, show it in the only currency of matter and like it on the facebooks. Or don't.

It's entirely up to you.

Dear Michael Bay

I will go see your new film Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon only if it includes anything as awesome as this clip.



(Also, will consider seeing it if it synchs up perfectly with Pink Floyd's The Wall. Or anything by Rush).

Box Office Report: Eh

Dude here again. I'm pretty tired right now. I've had a long day, and staring at the computer screen hurts my eyes more than somewhat.

So all you're getting is numbers.

This weekend, Natalie Portman movie comes out that possibly doesn't include lesbians and fingernail wrenching. It makes money. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. No Strings Attached (Par) - $20.3, 3018 screens, week 1, $20.3 total

2. Green Hornet (Sony) - $18.1, 3584 screens, week 2, $63.4 total

3. The Dilemma (Uni)- $9.7, 2943 screens, week 2, $33.3 total

4. The Kings Speech (Wein)- $9.1, 1680 screens, week 9, $58.6 total

5. True Grit (Par)- $8.0, 3464 screens, week 5, $138.6 total

6. Black Swan (FoxS) - $6.2, 2407 screens, week 8, $83.5 total

7. The Fighter (Par) $4.5, 2275 screens, week 7, $73.0 total

8. Little Fockers (Uni)- $4.3, 2979 screens, week 5, $141.1 total

9. Yogi Bear (WB)- $4.0, 2510 screens, week 6, $88.8 total

10. Tron Legacy (BV) - $3.7, 2018 screens, week 6, $163.2 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that you know the drill from here.

Fun Fact: It still took me two hours to write this, mostly because The Matrix Revolutions was on in the background. This movie's pretty bad, like it's all shot by a second unit crew. Da hell?

So there you have my amazing breakdown. Next week brings us a Statham movie. So bellow a mighty huzzah!

Until next weekend....

(All Numbers courtesy of Box Office Mojo)

Ron Swanson Pyramid of Greatness

Box Office Report: Jaunaury is the new April!

Dude here again. Well into the first month of the new year, and already, we got record breaking numbers. Actually, we don't. Well, we might, but who cares, really?

It's not like you have any personal interest vested on these records, that are arbitrary anyway.

This weekend, Seth Rogen does the super hero thing, while Vince Vaughn tries the comedic melodrama thing. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. Green Hornet (Sony) - $34.0, 3584 screens, week 1, $34.0 total

2. The Dilemma (Uni)- $17.4, 2940 screens, week 1, $17.4 total

3. True Grit (Par)- $11.2, 3459 screens, week 4, $126.4 total

4. The Kings Speech (Wein)- $9.0, 1453 screens, week 8, $33.2 total

5. Black Swan (FoxS) - $8.1, 2328 screens, week 7, $72.9 total

6. Little Fockers (Uni)- $7.1, 3394 screens, week 4, $134.2 total

7. Tron Legacy (BV) - $5.6, 2439 screens, week 5, $156.9 total

8. Yogi Bear (WB)- $5.3, 2702 screens, week 5, $82.0 total

9. The Fighter (Par) $5.1, 2414 screens, week 6, $65.7 total

10. Season of the Witch (Rela.) - $4.5, 2827 screens, week 2, $17.9 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that Green Hornet actually played it safe by not opening around Christmas, as originally intended. Letting the Tron 3D play itself out, so that audiences are refreshed for some Gondry-inspired 3D shenanigans with Seth Rogen as a superhero based on a 30s radio serial, turned out to be a good call, as Green Hornet made an impressive $34 in 3 days. Because of most Hollywood wisdom, that's sadly considered a disappointment.

The Dilemma, a comedy with Vince Vaughn directed by Ron Howard, of all people, settled into second, proving that most people will see anything Vince Vaughn is attached to.

Impressive jumps for King's Speech and Black Swan, impressive stay for True Grit, impressive drop for Fockers and Season of the Witch. Something almost seems right with the universe.

Fun Fact: For 6 days, Season of the Witch managed to be the top grossing film released in 2011.

Below the radar, something called The Heart Specialist opened on 422 screens and took in $540,000. Something called Barney's Version (which I assume has nothing to do with Rubble, The Dinosaur, or How I Met Your Mother) took in $71,700 on 4 screens for the highest per screen average of the weekend. And something called Every Day opened on 3 screens and took in a nice ten grand.

So there, you have my amazing break down. Next week, we see if the "Norbit" curse of releasing something that looks terrible in the middle of an impressive Oscar campaign holds any merit, as Natalie Portman acts against Ashton Kutcher in some Apatow-wannabe-looking flick. Stay Country Strong, everybody! 

Until next weekend....

(All Numbers courtesy of Box Office Mojo)

I am Jack's Transmografier Ray

Pretty clever little video.

Box Office Report: Jaunaury Doldrums

Dude here again. Coming at you on a lazy sunday with some lazy January numbers.

And to continue the tradition, I"m going to lazily report them.

This weekend, a boring Nicolas Cage movie rings a barely heard bell to an indifferent mass that's not really listening anyway. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. True Grit (Par)- $15.0, 3124 screens, week 3, $110.4 total

2. Little Fockers (Uni)- $13.7, 3675 screens, week 3, $123.9 total

3. Season of the Witch (Rela.) - $10.7, 2816 screens, week 1, $10.7 total

4. Tron Legacy (BV) - $9.8, 3013 screens, week 4, $147.9 total

5. Black Swan (FoxS) - $8.3, 1584 screens, week 6, $61.4 total

6. Country Strong (ScrGms)- $7.3, 1424 screens, week 3, $7.4 total

7. The Fighter (Par) $7.0, 2528 screens, week 5, $57.8 total

8. The Kings Speech (Sony)- $6.8, 758 screens, week 7, $33.2 total

9. Yogi Bear (WB)- $6.8, 3288 screens, week 4, $75.6 total

10. Tangled (BV) - $5.2, 2383 screens, week 7, $175.8 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that True Grit is the highest grossing Coen brothers movie (Domestically). The success also could mean a resurgence of the Western that will end as quickly as it began.

Season of the Witch finally opened up, after almost a year of sitting on a shelf. It underwhelmed audiences to the tune of $10 million this weekend, which is both sad and impressive.

Seriously… what the hell is Country Strong? I know it has Gwyneth Paltrow, and she sings country music, and the kids all like that because of that obnoxious Glee show, but I've not been able to find anything about this movie, the plot, or even any theater near me where it's playing. I'm convinced it's a Tropic Thunder parody.

Fun Fact: My friend Dave has a theory about the Twilight movies, about how there isn't an actual movie, but a collective thought experience where everyone believes they saw something, but in actuality did not.

Below the radar, nothing new opened up. A few more awards movies expanded, but that was about it, and nothing really worth reporting. Like I said, boring weekend.

So there, you have my amazing break down. Next week, the January dump continues with Green Hornet, which actually looks pretty cool, and a Ron Howard movie.

Until next weekend....

(All Numbers courtesy of Box Office Mojo)

2 Videos 4 Thursday

Thanks to Brady for this first one.



And this second is the greatest montage ever assembled.



Somewhere in a prop house in Los Angeles exists a neon sign that just reads "Sex". My goal is to now find it.

Machete Don't Sell Out. (Much)

Box Office Report: Redux

Dude here again. Bringing you the first new box office report of this year! Welcome to the future! Yes indeed, the future is now.

And to keep the Snake Plissken quotes flowing, "The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Same".

This weekend, like the aforementioned sentence suggests, nothing much changed at all. Sure, a few things here and there, but really, it made my job easier with the cut and pasting. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. Little Fockers (Uni)- $26.3, 3554 screens, week 2, $103.1 total

2. True Grit (Par)- $24.5, 3083 screens, week 2, $86.7 total

3. Tron Legacy (BV) - $18.3, 3365 screens, week 3, $130.8 total

4. Yogi Bear (WB)- $13.0, 3515 screens, week 3, $66.1 total

5. The Chronicles of Narnia… (Fox) - $10.5, 2948 screens, week 4, $87.1 total

6. Tangled (BV) - $10.0, 2582 screens, week 6, $168.0 total

7. The Fighter (Par) $10.0, 2534 screens, week 4, $46.3 total

8. Gulliver's Travels (Fox)- $9.1, 3089 screens, week 2, $27.2 total

9. Black Swan (FoxS) - $8.4, 1553 screens, week 5, $47.3 total

10. The Kings Speech (Sony)- $7.6, 700 screens, week 6, $22.8 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that even I'm out of Fockin puns, so go nuts with your own!

Even though he's got the number 2 and 3 movies,  Jeff Bridges owns us all now. Don't even try to deny it.

Did we really let $66 million dollars go to Yogi Bear?

Also of note, if you don't count Avatar because it technically came out in 2009, the new Narnia movie has become Fox's biggest hit of 2010. Strangely, it's kicking major ass overseas.

And let us welcome The Kings Speech to the top ten. We shall hear a lot of this one, I presume. My father-in-law has declared it "The best movie he's seen since Coming Home", which says a lot.

Fun Fact: I wrote this entire box office report while not wearing any pants.

Below the radar, Blue Valentine opened up on 4 screens and took in $180,000. And Mike Eigh's Another Year opened on 6 screens and took in $120,000

So there, you have my amazing break down. Next week, the January dump begins with a medieval Nicolas Cage movie that's been on a shelf for some time! It's gonna be great!

Until next weekend....

(All Numbers courtesy of Box Office Mojo)