Box Office Report: Money Slept Here Once, But Just Once

Dude here again. Fall is here, except where I live in Los Angeles, where traffic finally let up and allowed summer to stop by for a little bit.

But let's talk about money and corporations, instead.

This weekend, another 20+ year sequel arrives and takes the top, while 3D animation falters again. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps (Fox) $19.0, 3565 screens, week 1, $19.0 total

2. Legend of the Guardians (WB) - $16.3, 3575 screens, week 1, $16.3 total

3. The Town (WB)- $16.0, 2885 screens, week 2, $49.1 total

4. Easy A (ScrGms) - $10.7, 2856 screens, week 2, $32.8 total

5. You Again (BV) - $8.3, 2548 screens, week 1, $8.3 total

6. Devil (Uni) - $6.4, 2811 screens, week 2, $21.7 total

7. Resident Evil: Afterlife (ScrGms)- $4.9, 2642 screens, week 3, $52.0 total

8. Alpha and Omega (LGF)- $4.7, 2625 screens, week 2, $15.1 total

9. Takers (ScrGms)- $1.6, 1413 screens, week 5, $54.9 total

10. Inception (WB)- $1.2, 907 screens, week 11, $287.0 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that either 80s' nostalgia will never peak, or Oliver Stone had a compelling enough story relating to current economic climes and enough sense to cast "El Beef" as his lead. Wall Street 2: Electric Boogaloo managed to take the top spot, though in an odd, possible ironic parallel, it didn't make too much money.

Truth be told, I made up calling Shia LeBouf "El Beef", but can y'all do me a favor and start spreading it around. I would appreciate it.

Coming in second is Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole, which is about a bunch of owls reenacting 300. It took in impressive numbers, but not impressive enough in this age of 3D animation domination. Looks like Zack Snyder's gonna have to go back to making extremely violent R-rated movies.

You Again? Not even the first time. Think about it.

Let's take a moment and give mad props to Ben "Phantoms" Affleck, who has directed a genuine hit with The Town, and may be garnering some awards buzz. Well done.

Fun Fact: Resident Evil - Afterlife is the greatest feature length Tool video EVER!!!

Below the radar, (deep breath…) Ryan Reynolds was Buried, took in $104,000 on 11 screens, the raunch-fest The Virginity Hit made $300,000 on 700 screens, Woody Allen's latest You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger took in $163,000 on 6 screens, Franco as Ginsberg in poem adaptation Howl took in $54,000 also on 6 screens, Gaspar Noe's latest Enter The Void opened on 3 screens and took in $42,300, and Waiting For "Superman", the latest from the Inconvenient Truth guy who's not Al Gore, took in $141,000 on 4 screens, and had the highest per screen average of all this week.

So there, you have my amazing break down. Next week, we see the Facebook movie and the Let The Right One in remake, both of which I should hate on general principle yet I can't wait to see with a fever pitch.

Until next weekend....

(All Numbers courtesy of Box Office Mojo)

You talkin to me? You talkin to... wait, wrong movie.

Goodfellas was released 20 years ago. I feel old.

Here is a ridiculously amazing recounting of the production at GQ.

Kenny Fuckin Powers

So big, he's busting through my blog proportions!

Box Office Report: Bad Pun Related to Number One Movie

Dude here again. Random introductory blather that may reflect current trends. Snarky observations, personal asides, and obscure pop culture references may also be substituted. Also, apologies for lethargy.

Pithy one-liner to coincide with first paragraph.

This weekend, witty/shameful one line about the number one movie sandwiched between template that literally hasn't changed in five years. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. The Town (WB)- $23.8, 2861 screens, week  1, $23.8 total

2. Easy A (ScrGms) - $18.2, 2856 screens, week 1, $18.2 total

3. Devil (Uni) - $12.5, 2809 screens, week 1, $12.5 total

4. Resident Evil: Afterlife (ScrGms)- $10.1, 3209 screens, week 2, $43.9 total

5. Alpha and Omega (LGF)- $9.2, 2625 screens, week 1, $9.2 total

6. Takers (ScrGms)- $3.0, 2139 screens, week 4, $52.3 total

7. The American (Foc) - $2.7, 2457 screens, week 3, $32.8 total

8. Inception (WB)- $2.0, 1305 screens, week 10, $285.1 total

9. The Other Guys (Sony) - $2.0, 1827 screens, week 7, $115.4 total

10. Machete (Fox) $1.7, 1704 screens, week 3, $24.3 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that a) if movie is well liked and deserved to be number one, accolades and praise to all involved and public masses for electing to choose a good film; or b) if movie is stupid but made lots of money, cast shame and derision towards public masses and their intelligence levels.

If other movie opens, note how it did in comparison to either the number one movie or previous films from star/director. If third new release opens, repeat step two.

If third or more release opens and performs miserably, make awful pun based on it's name in relation to it's poor performance.

If you feel like it, report on older releases that are just barely scraping by until they're released on DVD in two months.

Fun Fact: This is a newer feature that doesn't really have to be fun to anybody but me, but try to include as many MacGruber or Twilight references as possible because the hits go up when the words "new Kristin Stewart pics", "Twilight", and "MacGruber" are put in the same search engine.

Below the radar, indie films are discussed because not too many other people shine enough light on them. Make sure to note how the intelligent ones will have a higher per screen average than the number one movie in the country, although that comparison really means nothing. It's the reassuring pat on the back.

So there, you have my amazing break down. Next week, discuss how something awesome or stupid is coming out the next weekend. Lather, rinse repeat.

Until next weekend....

(Bizarre photo procured from another site on the internet).

(Thank the good people at Box Office Mojo for doing all the hard work for you)

Box Office Report: Afterlife

Dude here again. There's a confession I need to make: I'm supremely jealous of all the awesome movies being shown at Toronto Fest this week, while I'm stuck with Resident Evil 4. Sure, it's in 3D, but that fest has so many interesting looking movies, it makes you wonder why we had to suffer through this past crappy summer.

Except for Jonah Hex and Piranha 3D, obviously.

This weekend, there's no disputing who's number one, as that's a mighty large gap. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. Resident Evil: Afterlife (ScrGms)- $27.7, 3203 screens, week 1, $27.7 total

2. Takers (ScrGms)- $6.1, 2191 screens, week 3, $48.1 total

3. The American (Foc) - $5.8, 2833 screens, week 2, $26.7 total

4. Machete (Fox) $4.2, 2678 screens, week 2, $20.8 total

5. Going The Distance (NL)- $3.8, 3030 screens, week 2, $14.0 total

6. The Other Guys (Sony) - $3.6, 2246 screens, week 6, $112.6 total

7. The Last Exorcism (LGF) - $3.4, 2731 screens, week 3, $38.1 total

8. The Expendables (LGF)- $3.2, 3058 screens, week 5, $98.4 total

9. Inception (WB)- $3.0, 1583 screens, week 9, $282.4 total

10. Eat Pray Love (Sony) - $2.9, 2339 screens, week 5, $74.6 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that if you make a Resident Evil movie, pretty much the same amount of people will come to see it. Sure, it made more than the others, but there's also 3D prices to contend with, so it evens out. Still, this consistency is pretty impressive for a series on its fourth film, and one that had to surrender to the massive onslaught of 3D product.

Other than Resident Evil, there is nothing worth reporting, really. I'm amazed The American made as much money as it did, Machete should be making more, but isn't. The Expendables is almost at $100 million, which will be the first time in a long time for Stallone. Inception continues to make money, etc.

It's yet another sorbet palate cleanser of a weekend, to wash away the tastes of summer to make room for the fall movies.

Fun Fact: This summer saw the return of Dolph Lundgren AND Steven Seagal to the big screen! Alas, no Van Damme.

Below the radar, there's a film called The Romantics, which wants to be this generation's version of The Big Chill, opened up on 2 screens and took in $44,400, which is the highest per screen average of all the movies out there this week.

So there, you have my amazing break down. Next week, four big releases of varying genres, thus begins the madness of fall.

Until next weekend....

(All Numbers courtesy of Box Office Mojo)

Dude Matrix

(Thanks Brady)

Acting Doesn't Get Much Better Than This

Everything Chris Klein Says in "The Legend of Chun Li" from Jeff Rubin on Vimeo.

If You Choose Not To Decide

YOU STILL HAVE MADE A CHOICE!!!

Box Office Report: Machete Don't Text

Dude here again. Well, it's Labor Day weekend over in these parts, which means the end of crappy summer flicks and the beginning of pretentious Oscar-bait flicks! Personally, though, I prefer the January dumping grounds, but it's a nice change of seasons.

It's kind of sad that these are my seasons, but in LA, it's the only way you know what month is it.

This weekend, the estimates are even tighter than last weekend's neck-and-neck race. But as with most things in life, Clooney shall prevail. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday, as these are holiday numbers).

1. The American (Foc) - $12.9, 2823 screens, week 1, $16.1 total

2. Takers (ScrGms)- $11.4, 2206 screens, week 2, $37.9 total

3. Machete (Fox) $11.3, 2670 screens, week 1, $11.3 total

4. The Last Exorcism (LGF) - $7.6, 2874 screens, week 2, $32.4 total

5. Going The Distance (NL)- $6.8, 3030 screens, week  3, $6.8 total

6. The Expendables (LGF)- $6.5, 3398 screens, week 4, $92.1 total

7. The Other Guys (Sony) - $5.4, 2607 screens, week 5, $106.8 total

8. Eat Pray Love (Sony) - $4.8, 2663 screens, week 4, $68.9 total

9. Inception (WB)- $4.5, 1704 screens, week 8, $277.1 total

10. Nanny McPhee Returns (Uni)- $3.5, 2708 screens, week 3, $22.4 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that George Clooney rules all! How smooth is he? He tricked boat loads of audiences into seeing his art film, by making people think it was an action thriller. That Clooney, so smooth.

In Clooney's wake is last week's champ Takers, which won the photo finish, and according to this, looks like it will do another photo finish over Machete, which is a film almost as fantastically gory as Piranha 3D and Expendables. It really needs to be seen to be believed, but apparently not too many people are going to see it.

Going The Distance? Looks like nobody's going the distance to the theater. Zing!

Nobody seems to care about those other movies. So I'm gonna follow suit. Sure, I could take this moment to wrap up the summer numbers, but that's a lot of work, dealing with a lot of money you and I will never see.

Fun Fact: Avatar - Special Edition is making MacGruber numbers!

Below the radar, there's this movie called A Woman A Gun and A Noodle Shop, which is a Chinese remake of the Coen Brother's first movie, Blood Simple, took in $27,700 on 5 screens. 

So there, you have my amazing break down. Next week, we got ourselves a new Resident Evil movie! And probably some other things too, as serious movies begin unfurling below our feet!

Until next weekend....

(All Numbers courtesy of Box Office Mojo)