Sunday, March 29, 2009

Box Office Vs. Report

Dude here again. And I have but one question for you: Are you ready for some numbers? Now, I mean REALLY ready for some numbers? These numbers are gonna blow your mind and melt your face off. I'm serious. Take this as a surgeon general's warning. Speaking of surgeon general warnings, how come in the US the warnings are very mild, while in Canada the warnings flat out say "SMOKING WILL KILL YOU!"? Maybe I should do that here: THESE NUMBERS WILL KILL YOU!*

(*They really won't kill you. Unless you have personal investment in 12 Rounds).

This weekend, a return to obscenely large box office numbers, as some newcomers dominated over last week's releases, just as they always do. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. Monsters Vs. Aliens (Par/DW) - $58.2, 4104 screens, week 1, $58.2 total

2. The Haunting in Connecticut (LGF)- $23.0, 2732 screens, week 1, $23.0 total

3. Knowing (Sum) $14.7, 3337 screens, week 2, $46.2 total

4. I Love You, Man (Par/DW)- $12.6, 2717 screens, week 2, $37.0 total

5. Duplicity (Uni)- $7.5, 2579 screens, week 2, $25.6 total

6. Race to Witch Mountain (BV) - $5.6, 3268 screens, week 3, $53.2 total

7. 12 Rounds (Fox) - $5.3, 2331 screens, week 1, $5.3 total

8. Watchmen (WB)- $2.7, 2010 screens, week 4, $103.2 total

9. Taken (Fox) - $2.7, 1961 screens, week 9, $137.0 total

10. The Last House On The Left (Uni) - $2.6, 2251 screens, week 3, $28.4 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that when an Alien versus a Predator, but it's a cartoon and more family friendly than a normal bout between aforementioned creatures, that you'll make a boatload of money. The 3-D gamble paid off as audiences flocked to see who won in the epic showdown, only this time whoever wins... we ALL win! I should write ads for movies with brilliant gems like that.

The Haunting in Connecticut, which is not, as I was lead to believe, a sequel to the movie "The Haunting" that happens to take place in Connecticut this time around, had an impressive debut as well. I'm sure it had something to do with the PG-13 rating, or the "based on a true story" tag. But I think a fair amount of the paying audience for that film believed, like I did, that it was a sequel to The haunting that takes place in CT.

12 Rounds- 2 weeks left in theaters. I'm willing to put money on that. Oh Fox, when will you learn to not bother releasing action movies while Taken is still around, taking down whoever gets in its' way.

I'm a little upset that this Monster Vs Aliens movie has kicked Watchmen off almost every IMAX screen. Now how will I see Dr. Manhattan's omnipresent blue wang 60 feet tall? Instead I get farting Seth Rogen and Reese Witherspoon voiced creatures. Thanks a lot, Dreamworks animation!

There you have my amazing break down. Next week, 4 Fast, 4 Furious-est! And Adventureland, which looks pretty good.

Until next weekend.......

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