Transporter 3: At least it's better than Bond!

It's a Transporter movie. It's definitely the weakest of the three films. It doesn't have as memorable a fight sequence as the previous two films. (No firehose fight, no flipping the car over to remove a bomb, no greasing up and fighting on bike pedals). It loses the hidden homoerotic messages of the first two. And it features quite possibly the worst performance I've seen all year in the form of the girl. Seriously, she's worse than Mark Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel in The Happening.

COMBINED!!!

I feel like the director really wanted to sleep with her, and granted her lots of dialogue and close-ups. (Although, given Luc Besson's penchant for his starlets, it could be his doing. IMDB will help me here.) Truly terrible. There's a scene where she takes some drugs, and becomes the most annoying person in the world to Jason Statham. Although now that I think about it, maybe she just did a REALLY GOOD job at being an annoying person. Hmmm, perspective is a funny thing. (I still stand firm on the director wanting to sleep with her. It's pretty apparent).

And yet, I still had a great time. A much better time than at Quantum of Solace. And here's why: The Transporter knows it's a dumb movie. It has no delusions about itself, and wears that like a badge of honor and pride. Quantum thought too highly of itself, and try to gussy up the fact that it was just another entry in the Transporter series. Also, it helps that Transporter 3, even with a wafer thin story, still actually has a story. This is a big up over Quantum.

Statham kicks ass, as usual. Prison Break's Robert Knepper plays the villain, and it's strange to hear him not speak like Tea Bag. But he's quite effective, and I hope to see more of him in future roles. And the French guy from the first two movies is back, bringing the homoerotic tension to a full boil in the beginning, and much needed comic relief when applicable, and surprising efficiency in the scenes that require him to be Joe Exposition.

Overall, a fun B-movie that knows what it is and doesn't require a dreadnaught. (Although the Dreadnaught couldn't hurt any movie).


Oh, and they really needed to put a Crank 2 preview before the movie. Just sayin...