Wednesday, May 17, 2006

I love "Lost" . A little too much.

(I was gonna be a dick and put a spoiler warning on at the end instead of the beginning but, should anyone come here and read this not knowing about Lost but deeply wanting to know, I figure I'd put this up. Some elements will be discussed here. Especially if T-bone reads this and chimes in with his theories).

I'm not ashamed to admit it. I think it's a solid show, and they do that "24" thing really well, where if the episode is kind of half assed, the last five minutes make you crap your pants with excitement and anticipation of the next episode. I love the characters on Lost, I love the writing (except the Sun and Jin episodes. They fall kind of flat, but hey, we all have our off days.) So, Lost kicks a lot of ass, even if it leaves tons of unanswered questions about where the hell they are and what's happening to them. Frustrating, but it should prove to be ultimately rewarding.

Knock on wood.

As with most things, the problem with something as insanly brilliant as Lost is that whatever I put together in my head as the ultimate answer to the whole damn thing will no doubt be a) much more entertaining; and b) supremely disappointing once the actual solution is revealed. What can I say, it's hard work being a genius of my caliber.

So here comes the genesis behind my outrageous Lost theory. Bear with it. I think it would be badass as hell if I turned out to be right, solely because nobody else in the viewing pool has ever thought of it. JJ, I await your call.

So, being the dork that I am, I tend to think a lot

Anyway, I was driving in my car today, listening to liberal talk radio (AM1150, home of Air America out here on the west side) and there's a segment on the Stephanie Miller show (which I don't think they carry out east) called "Conspiracy Corner". You can pretty much guess what this segment entails. The show is done for humor, but I believe that Jim Ward, the guy who leads off the conspiracy rants, truly thinks these things. The problem comes when actual conspiracy nuts call in, offering their own suggestions and thinking they've found a kindred spirit in Jim. These are the same guys who listen to Art Bell religiously.

Though, Art bell kicks a lot of ass.

Nevermind that. Today's conspiracy has to do with 9/11, specifically, the theory involving Flight 93 (made famous recently in a movie I refuse to see to matter how good it's supposed to be) and the other plane that "allegedly" struck the pentagon, despite leaving no signs of debris. This caller feels that both these planes were not destroyed in crashes, but rather did land safely. this would mean that the attacks on the pentagon would have come from something else, and this implies that our government had it's hands involved with the biggest catastrophe this country has ever seen. (Not including natural disasters, or A Beautiful Mind winning Best Picture).

So, if this theory holds water, the main question is what happened to the passengers of the flights? Granted, this means lying to grieving widows and family members about a massive cover up that would begin a whole war. You can't just naturally assume that the families would be returned and everything would be alright, and that Joe Q. Passenger would keep his mouth shut. So, what is the government going to do with these people?

Do you see where I'm going with this?

I'm not saying the Lost passengers were intended to strike the White House, or anything, but my theory involves the passengers being unwiting pawns in a government cover-up. The people are sent to the island, where an elaborate scientific experiment once occurred. The island is sort of like the island of misfit toys, and the others are victims of another scenario who have gone a little stir crazy. Everyone on the island searches for greater answers only to discover that, in the end, they were just used. Everyone thinks these grandiose plots about where they are, and what connection they have, when in actuality, they were just on the wrong plane at the wrong time. the Dharma initiative could have been a once promising government contract that had to shut down due to budget cut backs, or malpractice. The remnants are left for the "survivors" to discover on their own and piece together clues that are so far off base from the truth that they themselves would go insane. Dropping supplies with the Dharma Initiative Logo just adds to the big mystery.

(You could also view this as a meditation on life itself, where we all search for a greater meaning to it all, only to discover that we were all wrong about it all. Kind of an existensialist viewpoint, but hey, I'm young and cynical, if I didn't spout views like this, what good am I to my generation?)

Oh, and the weapons on the island? If everyone's killing each other off, there's nobody left to tell the tale. It could also be for amusement, much like Battle Royale, but with fewer Japanese schoolchildren lobbing hand grenades.

It's an ultimately bleak viewpoint, but when you really think about it, it's just a television show.


-Brady said...

I freakin’ love Lost, and being the elitist that I am, I hate everyone that also loves Lost, unless they are within the inner circle of my elitism. (you and T-bone are included) I hate everyone who has not watched the show from day one, even if they missed the first 30 seconds, and anyone who has more outrageous theories than me. (Good thing you’re in the inner circle) That being say, what I really like about the show now is how it is totally branching off into other media outlets. For example- we all know this new “internet” thing might not just be a fad anymore, but I love how now Lost is using it to not only promote the show, but reading the message boards and chat rooms to add stuff to the dialog and plot. Also you can go on the various websites like the one that is actually advertised on the show. I think it would be great if they actually made commercials for Dharma products that had little clues in them that they played in-between real commercials (if you can call a commercial “real”) during the show. Now that’s a brilliant idea. Ah! What about this: play fake commercials for dharma stuff during other prime time slots or during the summer to keep viewers watching. Of course Lost fans are going to sit through commercials if there is a chance to see a “clue”. Brilliant marketing! Dude who can I talk to about this, you know Hollyweird types right?

T-Bone said...

Hey Brady,
If you think his theories are out her, you should count your lucky stars taht I'm at work right now or I'd go into full detail on how the number 108 links lost to Bhudist mytholgy and teh Dharma Logo, or the political philosophy of 18th century political philosophers Locke, ROusseau, and Hobbes and how these can be found in Watership down whic in turn relates to lost. Yeah, count your lucky stars.

Formerly, The Dude Spoke said...


I wrote this entire conspiracy theory at work. It's what I do instead of actually doing the things I'm supposed to. Helps ease my mind. So my question to you is, what's stopping you?

T-Bone said...

Hey now, I sit right next to the boss. I got to be careful. Hence the grammatical errors. You just wait until a day when my boss isn't around, then you'll see what slacking off at work REALLY means.

Formerly, The Dude Spoke said...

Please, I wrote the book on slacking at work. It's available at

Well, it would have been if I had actually written it, which I've been meaning to get to.

Beat that.

Oh, and I fell asleep at the last ten minutes of Lost night (it's been a rough week). But I think I saw a funeral and a boat.

Oh, and when Michael was captured, the friendly "other" who helped Claire before (and who's a pretty girl in her own right) says something to Michael to calm him down, but I couldn;t figure out what she said. Any ideas?

T-Bone said...

You mean, Rousseau's daughter? She said something to the effect of "He has to scare them off, for their own good"...or something. Like he really wasn't bad, but they NEEDED to go away.

(Bit 'o Trivia: That girl played Malcolm's obnoxious girlfriend on Malcolm in the middle a few years back.)

-Brady said...

The bhudist thing is right up my Alley, I'm all over that, along with the Watership down stuff. The best thing about lost is coming up with theories, I had one about time travel and repeting time like the all time greatest Star Trek NG episode where they are stuck in a time loop and Data has to figure out how to stop it. that my favorite episode. Kinda Danny Darkoish with the plane crashing and everything.

Formerly, The Dude Spoke said...

T-Bone: I KNEW I had seen her somewhere before. She's not so bad.

Brady: Didn't we incorporate that episode into our numerous flow charts tryin to figure out what the hell happened in Donnie Darko?