Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Best/Worst Flicks of 2012

I'm late. I was hoping to catch a few more flicks before time ran out, but then I figured, what the hell? Why not just post this? It's not like anyone reads it anyway.

THE TOP TEN
Ahh, to dream

DREDD 3D

Best movie of the year? Most badass? Most deserving of a sequel? Yes to all of these.

MOONRISE KINGDOM

The best movie that didn't feature a character named Judge Dredd. Wes Anderson, never stop being Wes Anderson.
 
ARGOThe best Best Picture Nominee that doesn't feature a character named Judge Dredd. Solid filmmaking all the way through.

BERNIE
Just a delightful film about a horrible murder. Jack Black deserved more recognition for his great performance.
 
SAFETY NOT GUARANTEED Something about this indie won me over. Others disagree. To hell with them.

THE FIVE YEAR ENGAGEMENTSurprised how much I enjoyed this flick. I didn't want it to end, I was having so much fun spending time with these characters.

WANDERLUST
I don't think I laughed harder in a theater this year than when I saw this. Surprised nobody saw this one.

DJANGO UNCHAINEDIt's Tarantino, but I'm an unabashed fan of his movies. (Even if he is kind of a wanker). This movie is no exception, and is just a blast to sit through until it kills off the most interesting characters and becomes another Tarantino movie. Still, a helluva fun ride.

THE RAIDIt's Dredd without Dredd, plotwise! High octane action, lots of dudes kicking each other... I'm glad they still make movies like this, even if it is in other countries.

THE MAN WITH THE IRON FISTS
The RZA got to make the kung fu movie in his mind. It was half brilliant, half retarded, but a great time nonetheless.

THE ALSO QUITE GOOD (in No Order Whatsoever)
HAYWIRE, THE GREY, SAFE HOUSE, FRIENDS WITH KIDS, 21 JUMP STREET, JEFF WHO LIVES AT HOME, BADASS, THE AVENGERS, THE DICTATOR, MIB 3, SNOW WHITE AND THOR, DARK HORSE, MAGIC MIKE, TED, AMAZING SPIDERMAN, DARK KNIGHT RISES, LAWLESS, HELLO I MUST BE GOING, LOOPER, SEVEN PSYCHOPATHS, SKYFALL, SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK, THE HOBBIT PT 1

SAW ON A PLANE WITH NO SOUND, BUT SEEMED OK
TROUBLE WITH THE CURVE, ARBITRAGE

TERRIBLE MOVIES OF 2012
These movies sucked. But at least there were only 4 of them, which means I'm being more successful in my choices.


TOTAL RECALLUgggghhhhhh. If you're gonna make it, do it right and make it violent. Otherwise, just let Len Wiseman go off someplace else where we don't have to see him anymore.

PIRANHA 3DDTried way too hard to capture the magic of the first, and failed miserably. Perhaps I hold the first one in too high esteem, but it's Rules Of The Game compared to this nonsense.

BEYOND THE BLACK RAINBOWAt least the soundtrack was cool.

PROMETHEUS

Though kinda fascinating and gorgeous to look at, this makes it on here for basically being a dumber Event Horizon, when it should have been a creepy Tree Of Life.

THE MEH FILMS OF 2012
These flicks were just ok, but more disappointing than anything else.

THE MASTER
I've never seen a movie so well acted and shot that I just didn't give a shit about. Until this.

TIM AND ERIC'S BILLION DOLLAR MOVIE
Thought this would be a lot more extreme and weird, like the show. Some jokes were great, some fell way flat.

THE HUNGER GAMES
Buy a fucking tripod! Have faith in the audience, and enjoy the world you're building.

SOUND OF MY VOICE

Again, my viewing of the film was tarnished by the audience I viewed it with, but after seeing Another Earth, I'm convinced the filmmakers are pretentious film students and not genuine filmmakers. 

THESE MOVIES ARE STUPID, BUT I ENJOYED THEM ANYWAY, DEAL WITH IT


ABRAHAM LINCOLN VAMPIRE HUNTER

SAFE

RESIDENT EVIL: RETRIBUTION

DETENTION

JOHN CARTER

EXPENDABLES 2


I HAVEN'T SEEN THESE YET, BUT TO SOME DEGREE WANT TO: (132)

Contraband, Chronicle, Innkeepers, Kill List, Journey 2, Phantom Menace 3D, The Vow, Ghost Rider 2, This Means War, Thin Ice, Act Of Valor, The Lorax, Jiro Dreams of Sushi, Salmon Fishing In THe Yemen, The FP, Casa De Mi Padre, Juan Of The Dead, Seeking Justice, The Deep Blue Sea,  Wrath of the Titans, American Reunion, Titanic 3D,  Damsels In Distress, 3 Stooges, Darling Companion, , The Pirates Band Of Misfits, The Raven, Headhunters, The Best Exotic MArigold Hotel, Dark Shadows, God Bless America, Battleship, The Color Wheel, Lovely Molly, Mansome, The Intouchables, Lola Versus,  Rock of Ages, Thats My Boy, Your Sisters Sister, Brave, Seeking a Friend For The End of the World, To Rome With Love,  Beasts Of The Southern Wild, Take This Waltz, Savages,The Do-Deca Pentathlon, Easy Money, 2016 Obama's America, Red Lights, Queen of Versailles, The Watch, Iron Sky, Killer Joe, Klown, Ruby Sparks, Searching For Sugar Man, Babymakers, Celeste and Jesse Forever, Bourne Legacy, Campaign, Hope Springs, 2 Days In New York, Sleepwalk With Me, ParaNorman, Cosmopolis, Robot and Frank, Hit and Run, Premium Rush, Samsara, The Oogieloves In the BIG Balloon adventure, The day, The Possession, For A Good Time Call, The Cold Light Of Day, The Words, Bachorlette, Branded,  Raiders Of The Lost Ark, Imax, REC 3, Finding Nemo 3D, Liberal Arts, 10 Years, Stolen, End Of Watch, House At The End Of The Street, The Perks of Being a Wallflower , Hotel Transylvania, The Other Dream Team,  Solomon Kane, Frankenweenie, Taken 2, Butter, Fat Kids Rule The World, The Oranges, The Paperboy, VHS, Wake In Fright, MIAMI CONNECTION, Atlas Shrugged Pt 2, Sinister, Smashed, The Sessions, Tai Chi Zero, Cloud Atlas, Silent Hill Revelation 3D, The Loneliest Planet, Flight, Wreck It Ralph, The Bay, A Late Quartet, Holy Motors, The Comedy, Lincoln, Nature Calls, Amour, Anna Kerinana, Price Check, Life of Pi, Red Dawn, Rise of the Guardians, Central Park 5, Rust and BOne, Killing Them Softly, Dragon, The Collection, Universal Soldier, Day of Reckoning, Hyde Park on Hudson, ZERO DARK THIRTY, THIS IS 40, THE GUILT TRIP, JACK REACHER. 

NO INTEREST, BUT MAY SEE FOR THE PAIN OF IT:

The Devil Inside, Twilight: Bullshit, One for the money, Albert Nobbs, Project X, Silent House, A Thousand Words, Mirror Mirror, Bully, What to Expect When You're Expecting, Katy Perry Part of Me 3d, Alex Cross, Paranormal Activity 4, Parental Guidance,


2 comments:

R.BillMountain said...

How did I see, like 40 more movies than you did this year...in a world? My best of 2012 so far (so far meaning I don't do theatres anymore so if it ain't on disc I didn't sees it): Miss Bala, The Grey, The Raid, Goon, Headhunters, Safety Not Guaranteed, Beasts of the Southern Wild, Pitch Perfect, FDR: American Badass, and yes Piranha 3DD...I friggin love that picture, it was apparently made for the demographic of ME, so I can watch it in 3D and say "genius".

The Dude Speaks said...

I can't believe I forgot to include Cabin In The Woods!!!! I loved that flick! That would probably knock off Man With The Iron Fists.

Yeah, I just don't have the time to watch everything anymore. It's sad but true, and I have to be really picky about what I do and don't watch. Meanwhile, Netflix queues continue to pile up.

One flick that was ass, however, (besides the nonsense of Piranha 3DD, I can't believe how much you enjoy that one) was Dark Shadows. What an unmitigated piece of shit.