Monday, June 11, 2012

Prometheus Spoilers Ahead

I'm giving you ample time to turn around now and not have anything spoiled for you. Turn around now if you don't want anything ruined and you want to go in fresh, which will be tough to do if you read Aint It Cool News at all because that's all they seem to be talking about.

I'll keep it brief, but to the point. Story spoilers ahead.
The biggest spoiler? Aliens created donute. Big, metal donuts. 

I just put this together, (and apologies if someone else did this) but Prometheus is essentially Star Trek 5 The Final Frontier, but with better wigs. I mean special effects.

Think about it:

Crazy old man takes spaceship to the farthest reaches of the universe in search of God.

Some crew members become taken with idea, while others rebel against it.

Ship lands on rocky, seemingly desolate planet and find a cave where "God" lives.

"God" turns out to be not what they think, and winds up an enemy trying to destroy them.

Diminished returns on the fifth outing of a "franchise" picture, while tenuously holding on the hopes that fans will turn out no matter what. (Which they do, although with much grumbling as the weekend progresses, although in the case of Prometheus far more people are giving the films flaws a pass due to Ridley Scott's "master" status, which if you stop to think about it consists of 2 films over 30 years old where one of them has been tinkered more times than Lucas fiddled with the trilogy. Although Gladiator is pretty great).

$20 says the director's cut has Rapace and Fassbender singing "Row Row Row Your Boat" as they go off in search of the albino bodybuilders planet.
What does God want with a starship? A $50 Million weekend? To build this city on rock n roll?

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