'Safe' and 'Sound'! (And Smash!)

Movies. I've seen movies. And now you get to hear about them! 

SAFE

This is right before Statham murders a hundred people.

Man, this is a pretty stupid movie. That didn't stop me from loving it, but from the get go it starts off at full retard with a storytelling chronology that makes Ghosts of Mars look like Citizen Kane. It truly is ridiculous.

Then the story kicks in, and it involves Jason Statham (also from Ghosts of Mars. Coincidence? I think not...) as a New York cop with a New York accent that the city of New York has responded with a swift "No, but thanks for trying." Anyway, there's this Chinese girl who memorizes numbers and who the Russian mafia wants to kill and so does Lopan and it's ridiculous.

But then the violence begins. And it is ridonkulous. I'm talking about Steven Seagal Out For Justice style violence, where human life is no longer sacred and bullets are but mere sunflower seeds spit out at whomever happens to be in the way. There's blood and headshots and corrupt cops killing civilians for no reasons and Triad members holding mini Uzis and just shooting them at cops because they can. That caption under the poster isn't an exaggeration, Statham flat murders dozens of people in this flick. And it's highly entertaining, even as the level of corrupt individuals continues to increase while logic decreases. When all was said and done, I felt enormously entertained, while feeling pretty guilty about it. But I knew the only thing missing from this movie was the Cannon logo before it.



SOUND OF MY VOICE

 

 Not gonna lie to you. I had such a horrible audience to watch this with that it ruined my enjoyment of the movie. That's not to say that I was a bit ambivalent to it's indie trappings in the first place (especially the intentionally ambiguous ending, and some odd storytelling choices and omissions) but I feel I would have enjoyed it a lot more had I seen it with a crowd that turned their phones off, didn't arrive late and talk through the picture, as well as have a projectionist who understands how to show a movie in focus.

The story of a couple of hipsters who infiltrate a cult in a San Fernando Valley basement, led by our new indie queen Brit Marling who claims she's from the future, Sound of my Voice is definitely worth checking out, as it's crisply shot and well cut (non biased opinion even if it was edited by a good friend of mine). Just make sure you don't see it with a crowd full of asshats who don't understand that the sound of THEIR voice is not what I paid ridiculous amounts of money to sit for an hour and a half and listen to. See, just reminiscing is upsetting me, and lowering my opinion of the movie. 

(And another thing, while it's on my mind, I sent a strongly worded letter to the company complaining about their presentation, which resulted in absolutely no response whatsoever. CLOWN SHOES!!!).

Anyway, check it out, it's got some good performances and facial hair.

THE AVENGERS

If this were a videogame I would never stop playing it. NEVER.

It made tons of money, it seems everybody has seen it, And the question is, is it any good?

My answer is a resounding Hell Yes! It's pretty top notch entertainment. Is it perfect? Far from it. But it's certainly the best Marvel film we've gotten, and I say that as a fan of their work, mostly. (Iron Man 2 bugs me, because it feels so sloppy and iverstuffed and because Downey doesn't let any actor finish their line). Luckily, Whedon must've pulled Downey aside and said "Hey bub, they pay me the big bucks to write this, please just say what's there, and you can go back to your world of improv wonders in Iron Man 3, promise."

I dug the characterizations, the action set pieces (of which there were fewer than I thought there would be, but that's ok.) the actors were great, the juggling of screen time worked, Ruffalo's Hulk characterization was absolutely grand (although I must admit, Thor remains my favorite character among the group. He's just so damn charismatic and handsome). I've never had as much giddy joy as I did when Captain America gives the orders, with the final being "Hulk, Smash!".

I was about to laundry list the awesome scenes that lie within, all the pitch perfect one liners, and everything else I loved about this movie (including the post credits sequences, yes there are 2). Then I realized I could just go and see it again. Awesome entertainment spectacle, especially in the IMAX 3D format, hich normally I'm against, but I kinda dug this time.

My only worry is now that the fun movie has come and gone, we get the somber entries of Prometheus and Dark Knight Rises to look forward to, which will be awesome I'm sure, but look to be far less "fun" than this flick turned out to be. Hell of a bar to set for the summer!