Wednesday, June 23, 2010

I Come In Peace...



"And You Go In Pieces"


Fun Fact: I wore this for the "Stallone Triple Bill!" at the New Beverly, a wonderful celebration of masculinity earlier this month, that bestowed upon us a immortal line-up of action: COBRA! TANGO & CASH!! CLIFFHANGER!!!

All three films are amazing, and to view them projected on a screen again was bliss. To mark just how rad the occasion was, I joined my friends Larry and Ryan in consuming some Double Down Sandwiches.

The Verdict: They are exactly as you think they would be. Surprisingly not that greasy. Very salty. But Phil, the man who threw the Stallone Triple Bill! together commended our badassitude for eating KFC in the line before the Stallone!

This was the first event in the "CinePrince Summer of Assertive Masculinity", a series of film screenings and events celebrating the nostalgic machismo of yesterday as it once was, and what it looks like today.

This was the email I sent to my friends official press release

Summer is upon us, and with it comes movies. Movies that look awesome in their badass-itude and sheer bossomeness. We're especially blessed this summer, as there will be something badass and macho EACH MONTH this summer!!!

Now, due to certain shall-we-say zoning restrictions (a lack of chairs) the CinePrince is evolving, and will not occur at various actual cineplexes. That's right, GENUINE THEATRICAL PRESENTATIONS!!!

Here's the list of events. Don't even pretend that you don't think this is awesome:

JUNE

Stallone Triple Bill!!! - June 4th - New Beverly Cinema!! 7:30 PM, $10

COBRA!! TANGO & CASH!! CLIFFHANGER!!! This trio of flicks is sure to melt your face off.

As an extra added bonus, there is a possibility of Double Downs being consumed. Thank you KFC.

The other films are as follows. Mini-presentations of related films might be a possibility, more details as these come closer.

JULY

Fuckin PREDATORS!!!!

AUGUST

THE MOTHERFUCKIN EXPENDABLES!!!

SEPTEMBER

MACHETE!!! (I got tired of finding ways to incorporate "Fuck")


What more do you need? Can you not see that I am serious? There's no proper response other than "Yes", and maybe "This line up of cinema slightly arouses me."

If this does not interest you and you wish to be removed from this mailing list, please send me an email. Then feel shame. A lot of shame. Then smack yourself in the face, write an apology email and get your punk ass back on this email list.

Yours in masculinity,
Dolph Lundgren's....Cousin


In case anyone is curious, the screening of Expendables may involve a trip to the desert to shoot machine guns before viewing.

PS- In case anyone was wetting themselves with anticipation, The Expendables was officially rated R!

1 comment:

Formerly, The Dude Spoke said...

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