AWESOME: A Very Calvin and Hobbes Christmas!

Can't believe nobody thought of this already.. especially me

Tim & Eric Red Band Trailer

Just give them the Oscar right now.

More Tim %26 Erics Billion Dollar Movie Videos

You Son Of A Bitch

Manliness Just Got More Manly

I know I'm getting a little Expendables 2 crazy, given how much of a let down the previous film was.

But how can you look at this poster and not get excited about it?

Immortals and Rum (with a bit of Heist)

A few weeks ago, I won a contest over at Movieline. It was to see Immortals at the premiere! In 3D!!  All I had to do was caption a photo from the film. Here's the photo, with my winning caption beneath.

THIS... IS... (not quite)SPARTA!!!

 

 

 

I wrote that as a lark, thought it would be funny. Didn't think it would win, when low and behold it did.

Little did I know, that would be an apt review of the film. It's not quite 300. It's a beautiful mess of a movie. By which I mean it looks gorgeous, but it's boring and makes no sense whatsoever. Literally EVERY awesome shot is in the trailer, save for one, which I will spoil for you right now.

That would be the scene where Mickey Rourke orders the guy in the barbed wire Minotaur helmet to smash in a dude's junk with a giant wooden mallet.

This actually happens in the movie.

And it's all downhill from there. It's not a bad movie, per se, but it is rather boring. Take from that what you will.

I did also catch Rum Diary, the earlier take on the life of a drunk Hunter Thompson and his misadventures with crazy people in Puerto Rico in the early 1960s. I rather enjoyed the film, even though it's was no Fear and Loathing. (But nothing really can be, now can it?)

The mood, setting, costumes, music and locations evoke an awesome period feel, one that I imagine people who watch Mad Men always equate it to. (Don't watch the show, but hear it's great with the 60s style). The story falls apart in the end, but I enjoyed the journey, and the almost age-less Depp once again reprising Thompson-incarnate for the big screen.

Sadly, more people have seen this tattoo than the movie.

And finally, there's Tower Heist. I couldn't wait for Tower Heist to come out so that I could stop seeing ads for Tower Heist. But I'm glad I saw Tower Heist when I did, before Ratner's unfortunate comments about rehearsals for films being exclusively for homosexuals, as it may have tainted my review even more than it already has.

Not surprisingly, that comment explains a lot about the lazy film, that doesn't even bother to have Eddie Murphy do anything of significance until the middle of the third reel, and it makes you wonder whether or not Ratner could have benefited from having a homosexual or 2 on set. It's really lazy and ramshackle, and spells out everything for the audience way before the characters reach the same point. It's not bad, but feels extremely "who cares?"

The cast of Tower Heist. Right?

I didn't hate what I saw, I was sort of enjoying it, and thought "This will be one of those movies that will be played on USA infinitely in a few years."  Some performances are good (Broderick and ALda especially), even if the New Yawk accents grow irritating.

Also, it's a New York film made by a degenerate douchebag that's never lived in New York. I realize you paid for the helicopter aerial shots of the city, but that doesn't mean you have to use them to link every scene.

Full disclosure: Due to unforeseen circumstances, I had to leave right when Eddie Murphy started having something to do. So I missed the ending, but I'm sure I could tell you what happens, or wait for DVD without crying too many tears.

PBR

VOTE for the ABCs of Death!

My friend Shane has directed one of the contestant films for the ABCs of Death. For those who don't know, it's a film where 26 horror directors make a short film about a violent bloody death caused by an object from a corresponding letter - A is for AbRoller, B is for Butter, C is for Colostomy Bag, etc.

The "T is for..." position is being left up as a contest, and Shane has made one called T is For Table. It's quite good, and features our old friend Dan (He of DanSpeak, a now defunct portion of this old blog).

Anyway, please vote and support this as it will mean Dan's face will be on a large screen! It helps that the film is actually quite decent, and far better than a lot of the other ones up there. Also please spread the word, as voting ends October 31st. (Halloween... Spooky, scary)

Another Ahab Video

Larry didn't do this one, but it's still a great video worthy of checking out.


Captain Ahab - Little Hands from Captain Ahab on Vimeo.

Expendables 2 is filming

Even though the last one had brief moments of awesomeness (always when Dolph Lundgren was onscreen) I'm still looking forward to the prospect of a second one, featuring older versions of the heroes of my youth.

This is still a mighty cool picture. Here's hoping they actually have villains worthy of doing something, instead of Eric Roberts just hanging out and yelling at the guy from Dexter.

A preview for an upcoming motion picture

Yeah, I could see myself anticipating this film.

Larry Made a New Video

It's the greatest thing he's ever done.

Prepare to have your face melted.

The Kingdom of Light from Captain Ahab on Vimeo.

Movies that have come out that I somehow managed to see.

DRIVE

This movie is like a European art house version of The Transporter. It starts off hypnotic and meditative, fetishizing shots of Los Angeles like nobody's business. Complete with a soundtrack that should pay Tangerine Dream for the inspiration. Then it gets insanely violent. Throw in great performances from Ryan Gosling as the nameless Driver, Albert Brooks as a menacing heavy, and Ron Perlman as the Ron Perlman character, and you have yourself an awesome movie. Well worth the hype and reviews that have been lavished upon it.


DETECTIVE DEE AND THE MYSTERY OF THE PHANTOM FLAME

Here's what you need to know about this movie: It's from Hong Kong, it's structured like a pretty awesome film noir, it has a terrific lead performance from Andy Lau, because it's from Hong Kong every character needlessly flips around when simple walking would suffice, and there's actually a character named Donkey Wang. It's a fun flick, and if you get a chance, see it on a big screen. IT probably won't happen, but it was definitely one of the better FX-heavy flicks I saw all summer. (Even if I saw it at the end of summer).


KILLER ELITE

Man, this movie should have been awesome. Chev Chelios pitted against Shoot Em Up?!!? And the trailer features Rock Me Like A Hurricane, and features Statham tied to a chair and kickin some dude's ass!?!?! SOLD! Alas, it turns out the film is more like a poor man's Munich. While not necessarily bad, it's not really that good either. One thing to point out, everyone's bitching out Clive Owen's mustache, but nobody bothers pointing out that the movie takes place in 1981, where those creepy staches were a sign of the times. 

OUR IDIOT BROTHER

I liked this movie. I thought Rudd was charming and a lot of fun. The ending is WAY too pat and tidy, but a movie like this, you just enjoy the ride. That's all I really have to say about that.

Brilliant

I'm Brady, and I made this movie

This is pretty damn terrific.


A reenactment of one of my favorite scenes from brady Shoemaker on Vimeo.

Catching up on some more flicks, PART 2

So, the insurance career I've recently partaken in has denied me the time I would normally spend all summer watching movies. As it stands, I've only seen a collection of the movies released this summer, and not the big ones that you would think either.

This turn of events both frightens and saddens me. Luckily, measures have been taken to remedy this.

Regardless, I have managed to catch a few flicks, and this is what I think about them.

SUBMARINE

Fun Welsh indie flick, reminiscent of Harold & Maude and Rushmore (mostly because of its teenage outcast protagonist, played very well by Craig Roberts) that balances the sweet and the sour of teen love and family life. Roberts plays Oliver Tate, and the movie is about his adventures. I can't really describe the rest, just know that it's worthy of checking out. A strong feature debut from Richard Ayoade, the actor from Garth Merengi's Dark Place and The IT Crowd. If I had a complaint, it would be that the soundtrack should've been better. That's it.

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS

This is one of those movies where the charm and chemistry of the leads takes it FAR beyond the premise. Justin Timberlake is very good as the male counterpart who wants to have sex with his friend Mila Kunis. She is also very good. Like I said the chemistry between these two is great, but my problems with the film stem from the horrendous direction, which manages to be edited in the most ADD, over-covered way imaginable (since Easy A, director Will Gluck's previous film, actually)/ Additionally, every scene is plastered with pop music to the point of annoyance. Still, not bad, probably worth a rental. (No, I didn't see the other movie that was practically the same with Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman, but I heard it was little better, mostly because the lead characters had lives outside of just boning each other). 


HARRY POTTER AND THE BLAH BLAH PART 2

It's the last Harry Potter movie. It's just as well made as the last one. I would have preferred if they just combined both movies into one epic, 4 hour event, but it's ok. What's strange is that I was more emotionally invested in the book than with the film. (I refer to certain characters' deaths that had more of an impact in print). And the coda in the future was just plain ridonkulous. Still, a great end to a series of films that actually kept getting better as they were produced.

ATTACK THE BLOCK

This movie was pretty kick ass. There was a lot of hype from the internet movie sites, hyping this thing to end, calling it the end all be all of geek cinema, which is not true. In fact, the over-hype may have soured me a little bit. However, this movie was pretty awesome, harkening back to an old school John Carpenter feel (down to the score, even). And the creature design is pretty terrific. So terrific that I kept drawing it on whatever I could find.

This took a good half hour out of my day.

But as an antidote to most of the big budget blockbuster alien flicks, this invasion flick about a gang of London punks who defend their building tenement from neon teeth beasts was far superior. Well worth checking out, even if it didn't quite live up to the hype, in my mind.


30 MINUTES OR LESS

If you saw the preview, you saw the movie. It's not necessarily that it's a bad movie, just that there was literally nothing more to it than what was shown in the preview, aside from a few good Aziz Ansari one liners. (You're not a grown up, last night you had a Lunchables for dinner!) But this tale of inept crooks who strap a bomb to a pizza guy's chest so that he robs a bank for them plays off like Elmore Leonard-lite, and that's not necessarily a compliment. Even more frustrating is (SPOILER ALERT) there are really no consequences for anyone given the survival rates of the characters. Good for a few laughs, but you can wait for Netflix for a breezy 80 minute time. Sorely lacking the style and wit of the director/star's previous outing of Zombieland, which leads you to believe that flick's strength was the doing of the screenwriters.

I've also managed to check out a few flicks at home, as well that are worth checking out. Never Let Me Go was like a very well made but depressing art house version of The Island. I also liked The Adjustment Bureau quite a bit until the literal dues ex machina in the end. Make Believe is a fun documentary about teen illusionists that's winning and fun. And speaking of illusionists, The Illusionist, the follow up to Triplets of Belleville, is another interesting animation using pictures and very little dialogue. It's also depressing as fuck. And finally, there's I Love You Phillip Morris, which felt like a Coen Brothers movie, anchored by a fascinating story and a not at all annoying lead performance by Jim Carrey.

That's what I've seen lately. I also finally caught Close Encounters of the Third Kind, which is pretty awesome, and I'm glad I didn't see it before Super 8, because that movie owes a LOT to Close Encounters. Anyway, I'm hoping to catch the Apes and Captain America before summer ends.

OH, and friend of the blog OMAR saw Colombiana, and his voice mail to me consisted of "Oh my goodness... oh my goodness... oh my goodness. You have to let me know when you see it. It does things I've never seen in an action movie before."

So there you have it. Straight from Omar's mouth directly to your ears eyes.

There have been a lot of videos posted lately...

And here's one more!



I promise I'll post up some reviews, but between new job and cutting a movie, I haven't had much time to see anything. But what I did see, I"ll let you know about.

Someday.

They made a Black Dynamite cartoon!

It involves Black Dynamite fighting puppets. It might be one of the greatest things ever. 

Shark Week

This gets off to a slow start, but the ending is worth the wait. 

Shark Hangover from Dolph Lundgren     

It's My Car