There was only one movie this year that arrived, and was the greatest movie since Rambo.
And that movie is Piranha 3D. It has everything you want in a movie, in one tight 85 minute package. In 3D no less.
Hands down, best movie of this year.
Aside from that, I enjoyed these movies quite a bit. I don't really feel like getting into they "whys" of my choices just yet, but perhaps someday I shall.
Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World
Black Swan
Toy Story 3
Warriors Way
Cyrus
Predators
Please Give
Social Network
HONORABLE MENTION Youth In Revolt, Book of Eli, Shutter Island, Crazies, Repo Men, Hot Tub Time Machine, Rec 2, Kick Ass, The Losers, Best Worst Movie, MacGruber, Get Him To The Greek, Splice, Joan Rivers A Piece of Work, Inception, Dinner For Schmucks, The Other Guys, MACHETE, The Town, Let Me In, Mystery Team, Red, Harry Potter Does Something, Rare Exports, Harry Brown, District B13 Ultimatum, Monsters, Tron Legacy (Until you think about it), Girl With Dragon Tattoo, Girl Who Played With Fire.
BAD Legion Human Centipede Alice in Wonderland She's Out of My League Survival of the Dead Clash of the Titans Tiny Furniture Greenberg Somewhere
AWESOMELY BAD From Paris With Love Jonah Hex Expendables Resident Evil Apocalypse
MEH Percy Jackson and The Olympians Cop Out Date Night (Saw these last two on a plane, so they get a pass for taking my mind off turbulence) Daybreakers In My Sleep Centurion Iron Man 2 Robin Hood Wall Street Money blah blah
STILL NEED TO SEE: Biutiful, True Grit, The Illusionist, The Fighter, How Do You Know, I Love You Philip Morris, 127 Hours, Four Lions, Due Date, Unstoppable, Skyline, Faster. The Kings Speech, Jackass 3D, Enter The Void, Buried, Easy A, Leaves of Grass, Catfish, I'm Still Here, Mesrine, Red Riding Trilogy, Valhalla Rising, The American, Animal Kingdom, The Square, The Kids Are Alright, Get Low, Life During Wartime, Salt, Sorcerer's Apprentice, Winnebago Man, Despicable Me, The Killer Inside Me, I Am Love, Winter's Bone, The A Team, MicMacs, Solitary Man, OSS 117 Lost In Rio, The Good The Bad The Weird, Exit Through The Gift Shop, Waking Sleeping Beauty, Ghost Writer, Runaways, City Island, Mother, Green Zone, Frozen, North Face (58)
STILL NEED TO SEE FOR THE PAIN
Furry Vengeance, Yogi Bear, Nutcracker 3D, Last Airbender, Remember Me (5)
Dude here again. Bringing you the final box office report of 2010! It's been an interesting year at best. It started with the Avatar sweep, and ended with a Fockin' whimper. In between, we had disappointment in quality and profit. Sure some movies shined, but nothing really wowed anybody, or justified their monetary intake.
Except that Jackass 3D. That deserved every penny.
This weekend, the holiday brings us lots of fun new presents that some unwrapped and others wish they got a sweater instead. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
1. Little Fockers (Uni)- $34.0, 3536 screens, week 1, $48.3 total
10. The Tourist (Sony)- $5.7, 2756 screens, week 3, $41.1 total
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that they've managed to stretch that "Focker" joke for a full decade now, and people still keep laughing. Kinda sad, really. What's even sadder is that a lot of these numbers are lower due to bad weather that's slamming the east coast at the moment.
If you're Jeff Bridges. you've gotta pretty pleased, man. The number 2 & 3 movies, kicking ass, taking names… There's nothing he can't do, and don't you try to stop him. He's the Dude, man.
Be honest, how many of you thought the Gulliver's Travels movie starring Jack Black was a practical joke? Like some sort of Tropic Thunder remnant? Judging by that number, I'm guessing a lot of you did. Although it did only open on Saturday, so who knows, it might outshine Yogi Bear.
Nothing about that last sentence is any good to anybody.
Apologies for missing last week's obvious pun of How Do You Know, but seeing that it's no longer in the top ten, I guess nobody knew it actually was a movie either.
Fun Fact: The top ten list this week contains movies from The Coen brothers, Darren Aronofsky, AND David O Russell, which makes my film nerd heart jump with glee, as it should yours.
Below the radar, Somewhere, the latest film from Sofia Coppola, took in $142,000 on 7 screens, having the highest per screen average out of all! Also opening, The Illusionist, an animated romp from the man who brought us the Triplets of Belleville, taking in $50,600 on 3 screens.
So there, you have my amazing break down. Next week, it's nothing! Absolutely nothing. I love when that happens.
I loved Tron Legacy. Had an absolute blast, enjoyed the look, the feel, the sound, the simple story...
But then I started thinking about it.
And once that happens, it's game over, man.
So, I figure as long as I don't think about it, and think about the shiny lights and AWESOME Daft Punk score I'm fine. And as long as I don't think about creepy CG Polar Express lookin Jeff Bridges, it'll be alr... dammit!
Shinylightsshinylightsshinylights
You're ruining my zen state of mind, man.
(By the by, in case I haven't mentioned it, Black Swan is pretty great. A perfect blend of Aronofsky's sensibilities, and a film that has shades of equal parts early Polanski, Argento, and DePalma. Moviesonline has my review somewhere, I'm just too lazy to put up the link.
Also, Rare Exports is worth checking out if you can).
Also, no Box Office Report this week, but let's just assume it was Tron.
Dude here again. Are you starting to feel that holiday spirit? I feel that spirit by going to the mall, and singing generic, all encompassing holiday songs. It's bizarre, but I think everyone appreciates it, as it's both respectful and pleasant. Then we break into a flash mob that only performs the dance from Peanuts!
Because who doesn't love Peanuts?
This weekend, a rather weak offering that may have sold the fate of future Christian parable adventures. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
1. The Chronicles of Narnia… (Fox) - $24.5, 3555 screens, week 1, $24.5 total
2. The Tourist (Sony)- $17.0, 2756 screens, week 1, $17.0 total
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means nobody read any of the books after The Lion The Witch and the Wardrobe. Maybe just nobody liked them. Anyway, the third movie in the series opened up to a weak $24 million, probably slamming the final nail in the coffin of the series. Sure, it may have some legs thanks to the upcoming holiday season, but let's try and enjoy Aslan on the big screen while we can.
Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie in a movie that takes place in Vienna? That's gotta be an award for the prettiest movie ever made. (Naturally, after Hero). Anyway, the star power of these two wasn't quite enough to bring Pirate or Salt money, but the pairing attracted enough people to have a nice run in the upcoming weeks.
Black Swan expanded to a total of 90 screens to rank 6th on the board, which may be the highest rank a Darren Aronofsky film has ever attained on one of these charts. It's got the highest per screen average of the top ten, (not of the releases, though) and is generally kicking ass and taking names.
All the other flicks are hanging around. like guests at a party nobody wants to be at but are too polite to leave. That's right, I'm looking at you Love and Other Drugs, who only brought a vegetable platter to this shindig.
Fun Fact: When debating with friends over what the best Christmas movie of all time is, the only correct answer is Reindeer Games.
Below the radar, The Fighter, coming in with great awards and performances buzz, opened on 4 screens and took in $320,000 and the top per screen average ($80,000 per screen, beating Black Swan's record from last week). Most impressive. ALso released, Julie Taymor's triply version of The Tempest, with Helen Mirren and Russell Brand, took in $45,000 on 5 screens. Slightly less impressive.
So there, you have my amazing break down. Next week, it's Tron time!
Dude here again. With great power comes great responsibility, a man once wrote. Then it was re-appropriated in a whole bunch of other comic book movies, more or less. Now the real question remains, everyone says it, but does anyone actually really listen to it?
Sorry, I just watched that Green Lantern trailer again, and it's starting to piss me off.
This weekend, my prediction was wrong, and the one movie did better than the others, even though there wasn't much in the way of competition. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
9. The Warrior's Way (Rogue)- $3.0, 1662 screens, week 1, $3.0 total
10. The Next 3 Days (LGF) - $2.6, 2236 screens, week 3, $18.3 total
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means Disney had sloppy second weekend, but still managed to out perform the young wizard with their animated tale of hair. Although, it's a steep drop from last week's take, but that's due to the lack of holiday.
Everything else remained in place, but not for long, as the first weekend in December is usually just a place holder weekend until the big holiday blockbusters assault us. So, that's why Burlesque and Unstoppable have made the almost the same thing in a tied for third, and Love and Other Drugs is so prominent towards the top. Sad state, but what are you gonna do?
I can not stress enough how awesome The Warrior's Way is. It's poor, MacGruber-esque performance aside, you should make every effort you can to see this movie while it still remains on a screen. You won't regret it.
Fun Fact: The Nutcracker 3D movie is allegedly horribly racist, in addition to being over two hours long, making it "Must See" for me.
Below the radar, Black Swan finally opened up on 18 screens, and blew away pretty much everyone else by taking in $1,394,000 and the highest per screen average of the weekend . Also, this weekend FINALLY saw the release of I Love You Phillip Morris, a dark comedy directed by the guys who wrote Bad Santa starring Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor… how did this movie not get released until now?!? Anyway, it opened on 6 screens and took in $113,000, not bad considering it didn't look like it would come out at all.
AND… the Dutch horror flick Rare Exports, about the trapping and auctioning of Santa Claus opened on one screen and took in $9,500. Outstanding.
So there, you have my amazing break down. Next week, even if we didn't ask for it, we're getting another Narnia movie! This one's on a boat!
You'll be hard pressed to find a film as enormously awesome, and legitimately entertaining, as The Warrior's Way. A bizarre pastiche of samurai film and western, Warrior's Way somehow manages to find just the right balance of ludicrous and fantastic, with it's tongue firmly planted in it's cheek but never letting us know that it's in on the joke. It's like a Terry Gilliam Cannon film.
Here's a list of the things this movie has:
Ninjas.
Cowboys.
Circus Freaks.
Tony Cox, playing the character "8-Ball".
A whole TOWN full of circus freaks.
Geoffrey Rush
Kate Bosworth's hilarious overacting. Then throwing knives.
Not backing down out when it comes to violence.
Geoffrey Rush playing the town drunk.
Better CG blood than Expendables.
Freakin' Danny Huston! With a scar on his face!
Emotion.
Interesting characters.
Stunning visuals.
Geoffrey Rush playing the town drunk, shooting sticks of dynamite from a ferris wheel.
If you don't like these things in a movie, then you've failed as a human being. For everyone else, there's The Warrior's Way. Check it out, you won't regret it.
Irvin Kershner has gone and left us. First Leslie Neilsen, and now this.
In an odd coincidence, I caught myself watching Empire Strikes Back last night on Spike. Sure, I watched it commercial free about a month ago (while my wife was at her bachelorette party) but it was on, and I have to watch it whenever it's on. It truly is a great film.
The last film Kershner directed was Robocop 2, which isn't anywhere near as good as Empire, or the original Robocop, but it has a strange perverse weirdness to it that makes it worth watching.
Dude here again. Coming off the holiday weekend. Not too many turkey naps this weekend, and no lunacy shopping at 5 in the morning. Just some nice family, a nice meal, and some black tar heroin.
Wait, what?
This weekend, that little punk wizard continues his domination, despite ample competition that wasn't really competitive at all. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
1. Harry Potter and the Etc…. (WB)- $50.3, 4125 screens, week 2, $220.3 total
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means Harry Potter has managed to capture the top spot for two weeks in a row! A feat not accomplished sine Goblet of Fire was released during the same time period five years ago. For fun, I took out my BO report from that weekend. Here's what I wrote:
"Well, if you're Harry Potter, you took the top once again, to no one else's surprise. It crossed the $200 million mark this weekend, not bad for about ten days of release. I have a feeling next week, it will once again take the crown, then start to lose steam once the Narnia movie and King Kong come out. But I've been wrong in the past, so who knows?"
I could basically take out the words "King Kong" and accurately predict the next two weeks of box office. It's difficult being this awesome sometimes. But well worth it.
Tangled, Disney's latest that isn't a Pixar but is still a computer animated fairy tale, fared quite well in its' first week of release. Almost taking the top spot, even. Not bad, and the lighter tone probably attracted a lot of kids who might have been "too scared" for the Harry Potter. Pussies. But yeah, don't expect Disney to stop making fairy tale movies just because they say they're going to. Because money talks, people.
As for the other new releases.. ouch. Burlesque didn't attract nearly the right amount of ironic viewers to make a significant dent, but not bad. Love and Other Drugs didn't make nearly enough to justify the amount of love and other drugs I had to take to sit through it.
And Faster? Not so fast, Dwayne Johnson. As much as I applaud any movie you star in the contains an R rating AND Billy Bob Thornton, it looks like I'm gonna have to act faster if I want to see this in a theater.
Fun Fact: I clipped my nails in the middle of writing this box office report!
Below the radar, Oscar-bation continues with the release of the heavily hyped The King's Speech, which took in $350,000 on 4 screens, with an amazing $87,500 per screen average. Expect to hear a lot about this one. Also, The Nutcracker 3D opened up on 42 screens and took in $68,000. Pretty bad, but here's another fun fact, it's from the man who directed Tango & Cash, which means I have to track down a theater and see it.
So there, you have my amazing break down. Next week, a whole lotta nothing and one movie about Ninjas in the old west, co-starring Geoffrey Rush, which means it will be spectacular.
Dude here again. Enjoying a fall morning. Poring over some box office numbers, with some green tea, chorizo and toast.
Come join me, won't you?
This weekend, in a stunning upset, Russell Crowe's movie defeats Harry Potter. And then Paul HAggis wakes up to disappointment. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
1. Harry Potter and the Etc…. (WB)- $125.1, 4125 screens, week 1, $125.1 total
7. Skyline (Uni)- $3.4, 2883 screens, week 2, $17.6 total
8. Red (Sum)- $2.4, 2034 screens, week 6, $83.5 total
9. For Colored Girls (LGF) - $2.4, 1216 screens, week 3, $34.5 total
10. Fair Game (Sum) - $1.4, 386 screens, week 3, $3.7 total
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that if Warner Bros didn't have half a brain, and released the new Harry Potter movie in the half assed 3D conversion we get, it still wouldn't beat that Dark Knight or Twilight record. But it's fun to dream about other people's money.
The Next Three Days, Russell Crowe's latest that I'll probably go see because I think Crowe is a solid actor and I like him in everything, even if the movies he's in aren't that great. But, yeah, a noble effort that was probably unnecessarily quashed.
It's nice to see Fair Game up in the top ten. It's not so nice when you realize it is NOT the Fair Game where Cindy Crawford gets naked.
Fun Fact: Aforementioned Fair Game is based on the same novel that Stallone adapted for his hit vehicle Cobra!
Below the radar, something called Today's Special took in $91,000 on 55 screens, something called Made in Dagenham took in $41,100 on 3 screens, and something called White Material made $36,300, also on 3 screens.
So there, you have my amazing break down. Next week, a whole bunch of new ones come out, including an animated fairy tale, a musical with Cher, and a movie with The Rock, which is all around news for celebration.
Trailers, for the most part, are starting to bug me. Part of me wants to blame it on age (Too loud, too many cuts and flashes, it's giving me a headache, etc.) and part of me thinks they give too much away.Either way, I find myself using that trailer time to take an all important last trip to the men's room before the movie starts, so I don't have another Star Trek/Inception incident.
That being said, these are some recently released trailers I've seen that look pretty flippin awesome.
Battle: Los Angeles - The movie could turn out to be worse than Skyline. But this is a great trailer, no matter how you slice it.
Your Highness - Fantasy movie from David Gordon Green, written by McBride, has a weird Gilliam vibe to it. Even if it turns out to be a mess, it's a spectacular mess. This is the red band, which means more cursing and brief Natalie Portman in a thong action.
Just a bit of disclosure, I have read the first 5 books twice, and the last two only one time each. I have seen the movies multiple times, though, the first three repeatedly due to my former job as a projectionist. In general, yes I am a Harry Pot-head.
Unfortunately, I haven't figured out how quite to Live Blog on this site, so I'm just gonna keep this open and update it whenever I write something new! I think that's what the kids call live blogging these days.
I don't know, I'm of the 1.0 generation.
Let's Begin!
WARNING - It may get a little blue. And spoilers, I guess, too.
***********************************************************
9:13 AM - Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone - Chapter 1
So far so good.
9:14 AM - 2 pages down. Where the fuck is this Potter kid? What's with all these damn hippies in the streets?
9:15 AM - Oh, right. He's a baby.
9:16 AM - Thanks to former college roommate Jay, who bought this book ten years ago because he wanted to read anything that schools were banning. And then forgot that I was the last person he loaned it to.
9:22 AM - One Chapter down! 30 some odd left.
9:28 AM - Man, Harry's aunt and uncle are dicks.
9:38 AM- Alright, Chapter 4 already!
9:44 AM - These are really short chapters. This book is super easy to read.
9:52 AM - Did the screenwriters just copy and paste the text for the first film? Or am I just glossing over nostalgia and cinematic memories?
9:55 AM - Inspired by my last question, I've decided to play the movie in the background. The rate I'm ripping through these chapters, I might be able to finish them both at the same time, although I doubt the scenes will match up.
10:01 AM - There are a lot of ads on this first DVD.
10:04 AM - Yeah, it's almost dead on. I know why they cut the things they cut, but I'll be damned.
10:05 AM - This was a bad idea. I've stopped reading. Like our nation's youth after the last Harry Potter book. (ZING!) Time to turn off the television.
10:09 AM - YAY! Harry got an Owl!
10:15 AM- These are awesome descriptions of this bizarre new world Harry Potter has entered.
10:22 AM - Already at Hogwarts! Let the fun begin!
10:28 AM - I wish Ithaca College was more like Hogwarts. Would have been a more wondrous and magical educational experience. Didn't even mean that pun!
10:35 AM - I should really look for a job instead of reading 7 books today. Probably be a smart move.
10:36 AM - Yay Quidditch!
10:41 AM - Hmmm... internet conked out. Gonna keep typing, and when it comes back, I'll post the backlog.
10:46 AM - Wow, taking a few moments away from reading to type is really kind of distracting. How did Mike Ryan do this with 6 movies?!? I guess it's easier with movies vs. print.
10:53 AM - Do I even have the other books? I'm pretty sure I have the last two, but I think my old roommate has the other ones. Son of a...
10:59 AM - This is a stupid idea. I have tons of other books I should read instead of re-reading something. There's Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, which I should get to before the movie gets made so I can say that the book was better.
11:08 AM - Enough of this foolishness. I'm gonna watch Doom instead.
11:15 AM - Universal logo over Red Mars instead of Earth! Goddamn this movie rocks!
11:22 AM - Handle ID, The Kid? Handle ID Goat? Handle ID Sarge? Not even disguising that this is a video game.
11:30 AM - WHOA! The female lead is Grimm's SISTER?!?! What a twist! Hopefully this movie passes the Bechdel test!
11:31 AM - Oh right. It doesn't.
11:34 AM - Nobody's splitting off into pairs. Smart. You don't want to mess with these things.
11:40 AM - "Does it bother you that you could have spent your life behind a microscope instead of a sniper scope?" "If they're so smart, how come they're so dead?" That's how you write fuckin dialog, Sorkin. Take a lesson, then eat a bowl of dick.
11:40 AM - Studio 60 my ass.
11:55 AM - The Kid is on drugs! How can he hunt for monsters on drugs?!? Unless it's a statement about how much more fun video games are when you're on drugs. This movie's got layers, people.
11:58 AM - Like an onion.
12:04 PM - Any movie that requires the use of a bone saw gets an extra half star.
12:09 PM - Is there a better modern day composer than Clint Mansell? His work here is hardcore, I need it to follow me around. Especially at the gym.
12:17 PM - Portman, you bastard! You sold out the rest of the crew!!
12:28 PM - Made myself a sandwich. Mesquite Turkey and Pepper Jack Cheese. Pretty tasty.
12:19 PM - Big Fuckin Gun! And it looks like it shoots fluoride, to boot!
12:20 PM - Oh man, some shit is going down!!!!! Cage-match style!!
12:23 PM - The creature kinda looks like "Satan" in Split Second, with Rutger Hauer. That movie rocks, too. Is it on DVD?
12:24 PM - No, it is not. Note to future film programmers, great double feature here.
12:25 PM - The Rock is starting to lose it! Oh no!
12:28 PM - So there's an extra chromosome that allows the creature to choose between good and evil? Haven't seen that in a movie before. Way to tread new ground! No sarcasm required.
12:31 PM - Oh shit! It's made its way to the ark and is now on Earth! We're doomed!
12:32 PM - Oh, I get it, Doom!
12: 38 PM - Now the Rock is full on section 8. Ordering the Kid to kill civilians? The village was cleared, the people are innocent Sarge!
12:39 PM - (That line's from Universal Soldier, but kinda fits anyway)
12:44 PM - First Person Shooter scene. Most innovative thing in cinema this past decade. Cameron didn't even TRY to replicate it with Delgo 2: The Quickening. So good, I have to share it. Thanks You Tube.
12:51 PM - SHOWDOWN!! URBAN V. ROCK!!! WHOEVER WINS, WELL, WE ALL WIN, REALLY!!!
12:59 PM - End credits! Nice, they blow everyone away except those who survived the movie!
1:07 PM - Cool, I still have the rest of the day to look for work. Hopefully the internet is back up and running!
1:08 PM - It's not. Time for Death Race or Outlander! But no more live blogging. At least, not until I can figure it out.
UPDATE: 10:53 PM - Still no job, but watching Troll, which features not one, but TWO characters named Harry Potter.
