Box Office Report: Now with 18% less meatballs

Dude here again. In a bit of a rush this weekend, so you're going to get some numbers, and then I'm assigning all of you, my loyal reader(s?) the task of coming up with conclusions based on what these numbers mean. The best answers will be published in next week's column!

Then hopefully in the published collection of all my box office reports, slated to hit bookstores this Christmas!.

This weekend, two new sci-fi flicks are unleashed, as well as a remake! How did they fare? Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. Cloudy With A Change Of Meatballs (Sony) - $24.6, 3119 screens, week 2, $60.0 total

2. Surrogates (BV)- $15.0, 2951 screens, week 1, $15.0 total

3. Fame (MGM)- $10.0, 3096 screens, week 1, $10.0 total

4. The Informant! (WB) - $6.9, 2505 screens, week 2, $20.9 total

5. Tyler Perry's I Can Do Bad All By Myself (LGF) - $4.7, 2120 screens, week 3, $44.5 total

6. Pandorum (Over)- $4.4, 2506 screens, week 1, $4.4 total

7. Love Happens (Uni) $4.3, 1898 screens, week 2, $14.7 total

8. Jennifer's Body (Fox) - $3.5, 2738 screens, week 2, $12.3 total

9. 9 (Focus) - $2.8, 2025 screens, week 3, $27.1 total

10. Inglorious Basterds (Wein)- $2.7, 1960 screens, week 6, $114.4 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that.. you tell me? Is there a food related pun I missed? How about something witty about the Bruce Willis movie like "Looks like people sent their Surrogates to see other movies!" ? There has to be a correlation between Fame and High School Musical that I'm not seeing.

There's even a surefire loser of this week in Pandorum, which is kind of a shame, as that movie was pretty decent.

For extra added bonus, below the radar the new Michael Moore inflammatory documentary Capitalism: A Love Story opened up on 4 screens and took in $240,000. There must be something to be said about this, from Moore lovers and haters. C'mon, people, I'm counting on you here.

There's also something called I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, which is a movie I've never even heard of! Material ripe for your zingers. Don't let me down.

There you have my (and YOUR) amazing break down. Next week, I'll stop being a lazy bastard, as Zombieland finally reaches our eyeballs!

Until next weekend.......

Sci-Fi movies Came out this weekend!

I'm awfully proud of my Surrogates review.

But if you have a choice of only one sci-fi flick this weekend (and District 9 is not playing near you) you should check out Pandorum.


And this is a wonderful monologue froma film called Deadbeat at Dawn. Aspiring actors, take note and try to use this as an audition piece!

Sometimes, I pay attention to what's going on

Sometimes.

Protect Insurance Companies PSA from Will Ferrell

Box Office Report: With a Side Salad.

Dude here again. I have a host of new movies, all bright and shiny and just waiting for you, the audience, to unwrap it. Each weekend is like a brand new Christmas (or Boxing Day), with some awesome gifts, like a Boba Fett action figure with working jet packs.

And sometimes you get an ugly sweater.

This weekend, four new presents are unleashed upon us. Do any succeed? Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. Cloudy With A Change Of Meatballs (Sony) - $30.1, 3119 screens, week 1, $30.1 total

2. The Informant! (WB) - $10.5, 2505 screens, week 1, $10.5 total

3. Tyler Perry's I Can Do Bad All By Myself (LGF) - $10.0, 2255 screens, week 2, $37.9 total

4. Love Happens (Uni) $8.4, 1898 screens, week 1, $8.4 total

5. Jennifer's Body (Fox) - $6.8, 2702 screens, week 1, $6.8 total

6. 9 (Focus) - $5.4, 2060 screens, week 2, $22.7 total

7. Inglorious Basterds (Wein)- $3.6, 2519 screens, week 5, $109.9 total

8. All About Steve (Fox)- $3.4, 2159 screens, week 3, $26.6 total

9. Sorority Row (Sum)- $2.4, 2591 screens, week 2, $8.8 total

10. The Final Destination (NL)- $2.3, 1805 screens, week 4, $62.3 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that 3D animated food flying at you is just what the doctor ordered! Cloudy took away some 3D screens from The Final Destination, and those larger ticket prices helped account to a lovely weekend opening. Hopefully the sequel will see a crossover potential with An Inconvenient Truth, and have an animated Al Gore preaching the terrors of the "Pepperoni Effect".

The Informant! opened up to a surprising second place. That Matt Damon, people like him. Sure, people like him better when he plays a guy named Jason Bourne, who runs around for two hours straight and kicks a lot dudes' asses and generally handles things. But that's neither here not there.

Love Happens. Audiences don't.

The sad tale of the week belongs to Jennifer's Body, a movie that for some incomprehensible reason has the entire internet seemingly happy at its' demise. The film, which is about a semi-nude Megan Fox killing people and sounding like Juno, wasn't nearly as bad as a lot of critics have put it, but for some reason, a lot of internet folk wanted this movie to fail miserably. And fail it did. (A misguided and barely present marketing campaign might also be to blame).

There you have my amazing break down. Next week, four new movies once again. But one of them has Bruce Willis, and as you all know, he's good in anything.

Until next weekend.......

Jennifer's Friday

Ah yes, another Friday full of movie releases, and an upcoming weekend full of fun and adventures (and sleeping in)!

I have a few reviews up at the site. There's a very interesting and possibly enthusiastic one for Jennifer's Body, a less than enthusiastic one for The Final Destination, and one for Whiteout that's got as much thought and effort in it as the filmmakers put into the movie. Check em out!

And here's a short film from Lars Von Trier about talking in the movies.

Occupations - short film by Lars von Trier
by vahea

Have a fun weekend!

This health care debate is over!

If anyone opposes, just challenge him to a lightsaber duel.

I'm damn proud to be an American.

Yesterday, my friend Ed called them Noon chuks.

For the record, Black Dynamite can come soon enough!



But it's not all kicks and awesomeness. An important PSA:

There's a website you have to see

It's called Animals With Lightsabers.

You can already see the brilliance, and I'm sure several of you are kicking yourselves for not thinking of it first.


I know I am.

Box Office Report does fine all by itself.

Dude here again. It's September. Schools are back in session. Footballs are being tossed. (Or kicked, depending on your definition of football). And movies are released that people don't have a lot of expectations for. It's disgustingly referred to as "September dumping".

By me. Just now.

This weekend, Tyler Perry surprises nobody, and three other wide releases duke it out for second. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. Tyler Perry's I Can Do Bad All By Myself (LGF) - $24.0, 2255 screens, week 1, $24.0 total

2. 9 (Focus) - $10.8, 1661 screens, week 1, $15.2 total (Wed Open)

3. Inglorious Basterds (Wein)- $6.5, 3215 screens, week 4, $104.3 total

4. All About Steve (Fox)- $5.8, 2265 screens, week 2, $21.8 total

5. The Final Destination (NL)- $5.5, 2732 screens, week 3, $58.2 total

6. Sorority Row (Sum)- $5.2, 2665 screens, week 1, $5.2 total

7. Whiteout (WB) $5.1, 2745 screens, week 1, $5.1 total

8. District 9 (TriS) - $3.6, 2560 screens, week 5, $108.5 total

9. Julie & Julia (Sony) - $3.3, 2342 screens, week 6, $85.3 total

10. Gamer (LGF) - $3.1, 2502 screens, week 2, $16.1 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that others reporting the box office numbers should stop pointing out the "surprise box office champion" of Tyler Perry. his movies make money. they generally make about the same amount. People like them, and he'll keep on making his movies, and that's totally cool. Get over it.

9 came out, and I was honestly hoping it would make $9,999,999 this weekend. Just for the numerical value alone. Alas, it did better. So there's hope for next week.

Sorority Row? More like Sorority, No. (Uber-proud of that one).

Whiteout? Ummm.... sorority no!

But Inglorious Basterds crossed $100 million, ensuring another Tarantino movie will come to us. And District 9 continues to eke out more and more, making District 10 more of a possibility every day!

There you have my amazing break down. Next week, four new movies, including one with Megan Fox where the ads make it look like she's gonna get naked, but she's probably not gonna get naked, but that's still not stopping anybody from seeing it, and the kid in the box office knows this when you buy the ticket to see that movie, but we're all still gonna see it, who are you kidding? Oh, and Love Happens open up, too!!!!

Until next weekend.......

9

A lot of cool sci-fi flicks that have come out the past few months have been based on cool sci-fi shorts that people took notice of and let them make movies based on these. That kicks ass. And is rare to happen.

Or so my manager keeps telling me*.

Anyway, in the tradition of last month's Alive in Joburg-into-District 9, I give you 9.

The short 9, that was the basis for the motion picture 9 which came out this weekend ( and where you can find a review of here,)and is NOT in anyway related to the movie Nine which comes out in a few months and stars Daniel "Plainview" Day Lewis, nor is it related to District 9, which just plain melts your face off with it's awesomeness.



Not to mention the whole 9-9-09 thing the other day, which was really strange because it seemed to be entirely about the Beatles based solely on the Revolution #9 song, which is fine but still kinda weak.

I really hope Day Lewis talks like Plainview in this one. that will actually get me to see it. That and Fergie's "humps".

(Like her song!)


*My manager didn't say those things. Mostly because my manager is imaginary. Imanager-ary?

Box Office Repeat: Labor edition

Dude here again. I travelled 2600 miles in 3 days in my car, with just myself. At one point, I was listening to the music of Star Wars, and making the sound effects and voicing the dialog myself. It got a little rough, but I made it. And now I'm recovering.

So because of those factors, and in honor of Labor Day, I'm being real lazy about getting you these numbers. .

This weekend, some last minute summer flicks try for one last grasp of the ring, and fail. Extra added bonus day, now, too! Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Tuesday).

1. The Final Destination (NL)- $15.4, 3121 screens, week 2, $50.5 total

2. Inglorious Basterds (Wein)- $15.0, 3358 screens, week 3, $95.2 total

3. All About Steve (Fox)- $13.9, 2251 screens, week 1, $13.9 total

4. Gamer (LGF) - $11.2, 2502 screens, week 1, $11.2 total

5. District 9 (TriS) - $9.0, 3139 screens, week 4, $103.2 total

6. Halloween II (2009) (Dim) - $7.0, 3088 screens, week 2, $27.1 total

7. Julie & Julia (Sony) - $7.0, 2528 screens, week 5, $80.6 total

8. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (Par) - $6.7, 2846 screens, week 5, $141.0 total

9. The Time Traveler's Wife (NL)- $5.4, 2803 screens, week 4, $55.7 total

10. Extract (Mir) $5.3, 1611 screens, week 1, $5.3 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that people still want to see young people die in incredulous ways, and Brad Pitt collecting Nazi scalps over a crazy Sandra Bullock, but still not that much. There are a lot of low numbers this weekend, but enough to certify 2 hits of the late summer.

All About Steve got so many bad reviews it actually sparked my interest in seeing it. (But just not yet). And Gamer, which is a movie from the guys that make Crank, which means it's batshit insane, came in 4th.

Extract made about ten times the total gross of Idiocracy. Which is nice, but still not that great. Yet another Mike Judge film for audiences to discover on DVD.

And while we weren't looking, Transforming Robots 2 managed to take in $400 million this summer. That's too much for me to handle right now.

You know what else makes me a little misty eyed? There's been a Jason Statham movie released every end of summer since 2004, and this is the first summer to not give us one. Next year, we get Expendables, but this year, I cry silently.

There you have my amazing break down. Next week, a bunch of new movies open up, including 9, and something else.

Until next weekend.......

Another Friday!!! (Reloaded!)

I'm totally celebrating this Labor Day by actually working! (That's a lie).

Instead I present you this brilliance:



The Japanese are light years ahead of us in children's programming.

I have links for reviews of Extract, Taking Woodstock and 9.

Ooooh, and I'll definitely have one up for Gamer after I see it. I'm a little angry at myself for not checking out a midnight show of it, actually. What was I thinking?!?

My brain is still more than a little fried from the ridiculous cross-country journey I managed to take this past week, so I'm ending this now. Have a great weekend!

Here's a monster Alan Arkin killing bunnies.

Box Office Report: From the road!

Dude here again. I am on a cross country journey, recovering from the mother of all bachelor parties, but that's not enough to stop me from reporting the numbers. But keep in mind I have 2500 miles of road between where I am and where I need to be.

And where my clean slacks are.

This weekend, the horror match up of all time has descended upon us, and only one clear winner remains! Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. The Final Destination (NL)- $28.3, 3121 screens, week 1, $28.3 total

2. Inglorious Basterds (Wein)- $20.0, 3165 screens, week 2, $73.7 total

3. Halloween 2 (Dim) - $17.4, 3025 screens, week 1, $17.4 total

4. District 9 (TriS) - $10.7, 3180 screens, week 3, $90.8 total

5. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (Par) - $8.0, 3467 screens, week 4, $132.4 total

6. Julie & Julia (Sony) - $7.4, 2503 screens, week 4, $70.9 total

7. The Time Traveler's Wife (NL)- $6.7, 2961 screens, week 3, $48.1 total

8. Shorts (WB)- $4.8, 3105 screens, week 2, $13.5 total

9. Taking Woodstock (Focus) - $3.7, 1393 screens, week 1, $3.7 total

10. G-Force (BV) $2.8, 1926 screens, week 6, $111.8 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that when it comes to a horror showdown, it helps if your movie is in 3-D. The Final Destination, taking a cue from Fast and Furious and dropping numbers, captured the imaginations and $28 million versus the sequel to the remake of Halloween had to settle for third.

The Basterds held on reasonably well, and District 9 continues to kick the collective ass of the world.

Taking Woodstock, Ang Lee's nostalgic trip through the age of hippies filtered through the eyes of corporate multinational conglomerate culture, took in a relatively weak $3.7 million. Far cry from the opening of Hulk.

Below the radar, Big Fan starring Patton Oswalt took in $26,000 on 2 screens. Very impressive. There's also a documentary called The September Issue, which is about the woman who puts together Vogue, took in $240,000 on 6 screens, which is the highest per screen average of the weekend.

There you have my amazing break down. Next week, a movie from guys that made Crank, and one from the maker of Office Space! And hopefully I will have successfully crossed the country, and made back to the land of palm trees and movie stars.

Until next weekend.......

Inglorious Box Office Report

Dude here again. I bring you the weekend numbers. Alongside, I offer commentary that's both insightful AND witty. I wouldn't go so far as to say what I write is brilliance, as it's not saving lives or changing the course of humanity. It's not ending wars, feeding the hungry, curing the ill, restoring economies, or anything like that.

But I would say it's just shy of pretty damn brilliant.

This weekend, Tarantino and Brad Pitt sell an art movie to a huge opening! Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. Inglorious Basterds (Wein)- $37.6, 3165 screens, week 1, $37.6 total

2. District 9 (TriS) - $18.9, 3050 screens, week 2, $73.4 total

3. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (Par) - $12.5, 3953 screens, week 3, $120.5 total

4. The Time Traveler's Wife (NL)- $10.0, 2988 screens, week 2, $37.4 total

5. Julie & Julia (Sony) - $9.0, 2463 screens, week 3, $59.2 total

6. Shorts (WB)- $6.6, 3105 screens, week 1, $6.6 total

7. G-Force (BV) $4.2, 2561 screens, week 5, $107.3 total

8. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (WB) - $3.5, 1936 screens, week 6, $290.2 total

9. The Ugly Truth (Sony) - $2.8, 1971 screens, week 5, $82.8 total

10. Post Grad (Fox)- $2.8, 1959 screens, week 1, $2.8 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that the moviegoing public wanted to see Brad Pitt seek some Nazi-scalpin' justice (even though that's only about a 3rd of the movie). Holding steady after an impressive Friday debut, the latest film from Quentin Tarantino made a nice enough amount to keep the Weinstein Company in business for a few more months.

Tarantino's Grindhouse compatriot Robert Rodriguez released his latest handmade movie for kids, Shorts. Alas, Shorts didn't fare as well as his long time friend's film. At least we'll get Machete!

Post Grad made a mistake by opening late summer, when people are returning to school. this is a movie that should be released as students are graduating. Then, you also have to market it as a horror movie for students who are about to enter thereal world, and discover how frightening the world is these days. Just my two cents, if Hollywood wants to pay me for ideas, I'm always willing to listen.

Below the radar, something known as X Games 3D The Movie opened up. It made $800,000. This news saddens me.

There you have my amazing break down. Next week, an epic showdown, as the sequel to the remake of a long running horror franchise takes on a last ditch 3-D effort to spice a more recent franchise.

Until next weekend.......

It's fuckin Friday!

It's fuckin Friday and I am FUCKIN PUMPED!!!!

It's my roommate Dan's birthday today and that can mean only one thing: WE'RE GOIN' TO FUCKIN' RED LOBSTER BITCHES!!!


I got him something for his birthday. Here's a hint:



That's right! I got him Kim Cattrall!!!

(Just kidding, I got him all teh seasons of Sex and the City on Blu Ray, but it's just like the same thing)!

Here's something to watch real fuckin loud at work, and/or with impressionable children around!!!



There's a weekend full of movies to see!!! Go see Inglorious Basterds! Or District 9! Or Cold Souls! Or (500) Days of Summer!(Review forthcoming). All good movies that you can check out at your local cinemas! (Mostly)!

And a hearty congratulations to friend of the blog Brady (or as the British girls like to call him "I'm Brady"). I received a mysterious text from him earlier today that simply read "I just got hitched". Fuckin a, dude! Way to go!

NERDY CUPCAKES!!!!


Sorry, those cheddar bay biscuits are like CRACK ROCK!!!!!!

If It's Good Enough For R2D2...

Topless Robot has a whole bunch more amazing and disturbing PSAs. Check them out!

This one was also on there, but it's too disturbing not to pass up.

In the excitement of other upcoming movies...

I've forgotten about The Expendables, which is due to make sweet love to our eyeballs next year.

It's got this amazing cast. Stallone. Jet Li. Statham. DOLPH FREAKIN' LUNDGREN!! Trejo's in it. so is Stone cold Steve Austin. I think Eric Roberts is in it!!! And now I'm hearing Bruce Willis is gonna have a cameo!

/Film has a video showing just a little bit of footage, but I think as soon as you see this picture, you know what the Academy Award for Best Picture will be in 2010.



If this movie wanted to kick even MORE ass, it would hire all the villains from the old 80s movies, like the guy from Renegade and the lead psycho in Cobra, and Patrick Kilpatrick. Real awesome villains.

Where District 9 sprung from

Box Office Report: Redemption

Dude here again. I'm enjoying these lazy days of August. Hanging around, rollin' in my 6-4. Sipping on gin and juice.

With my mind on my money and my money on my mind.

This weekend, a movie truly worthy of making the amount of money it did finally takes the top spot! Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. District 9 (TriS) - $37.0, 3049 screens, week 1, $37.0 total

2. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (Par) - $22.5, 4007 screens, week 2, $98.7 total

3. The Time Traveler's Wife (NL)- $19.2, 2988 screens, week 1, $19.2 total

4. Julie & Julia (Sony) - $12.4, 2354 screens, week 2, $43.6 total

5. G-Force (BV) $6.9, 3065 screens, week 4, $99.0 total

6. The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard (ParV)- $5.3, 1838 screens, week 1, $5.3 total

7. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (WB) - $5.1, 2771 screens, week 5, $283.8 total

8. The Ugly Truth (Sony) - $4.5, 2733 screens, week 4, $77.5 total

9. Ponyo (BV)- $3.5, 927 screens, week 1, $3.5 total

10. (500) Days of Summer (FoxS)- $3.0, 1048 screens, week 5, $17.9 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means District 9 delivered the goods, and the masses believed! This almost makes up for Transformers making almost $400 million dollars! Backed by supremely positive word of mouth and a killer marketing campaign, District 9 recouped its budget in one weekend and entertained many in spite of its R-rating and no known actors. Good stories, that's all it takes, people. (Aliens and Mech-fighting helps, too). Hopefully this will continue to rock faces off through the rest of the summer.

Eric Bana continues his summer of being everywhere with The Time Traveler's Wife, bringing it in for a nice amount. The more serious, adult/date crowd probably opted for that over aliens and GI Joes. (Unless your significant other is really cool and wanted to see D-9). Still, a nice opening and it is sure to grow "legs" (as they say in the "biz") as the long August days stretch out into September.

The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard. I really want to add "Die Hard" after that, or just say "The Not-So-Goods", but I feel many others will do that, and I'm better than that.

Ponyo came out?!?! That's the new Miyazaki movie!!!! Why do they never promote his movies when they release them??!?! Anyway, it opened to a small amount, but that's still pretty good for Miyazaki.

Just below the top ten is Bandslam, which opened up on 2121 screens, and took in $2.2 million, I'm guessing a significant portion of which came from those wanting to see the new Twilight trailer that's attached to the movie. BANDSLAMMED!

Below the radar, Ashton Kutcher sadly tried to get his over 3 million Twitter followers (Nit-twits?) to see his movie Spread, which opened up on 91 screens. They didn't really respond, as the film took in $117,000. Dude, where is my car, indeed. Also opening up is It Might Get Loud, where Jimmy Page, The Edge and Jack White jam on guitars for 2 hours. On 7 screens, it took in $101,000.

There you have my amazing break down. Next week, the Basterds come.

Until next weekend.......

DISTRICT 9 WILL MELT YOUR FACE OFF!

That is to say, I really rather enjoyed it. And I think you will, too. Especially if you like movies.