It makes me smile. Shut up. I'll cut you.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Movie Money Thing I do on sundays
Dude here again. In a change of pace, I decided to write most of my box office report for the week early, based on even more vague predictions. Why, you may ask? Because I got me some Medieval Times to enjoy, suckers, and I'm too lazy to wait for actual numbers to appear. Besides, who wants a box report heavily influenced by a man on a Mead bender? (As opposed to the crack I usually smoke while writing these)
This weekend, four MORE new movies opened up wide, but the weekend estimates seem to be a little lower than last week's, so it's not as big a deal as last week's insanity. Not that last week even mattered, let's be honest. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
1. Lakeview Terrace (ScrG) - $15.6, 2464 screens, week 1, $15.6 total
2. Burn After Reading (Focus) - $11.2, 2657 screens, week 2, $36.4 total
3. My Best Friend's Girl (LGF) - $8.3, 2604 screens, week 1, $8.3 total
4. Igor (MGM/Wein)- $8.0, 2339 screens, week 1, $8.0 total
5. Righteous Kill (Over) - $7.7, 3152 screens, week 2, $28.8 total
6. Tyler Perry's The Family That Preys (LGF) - $7.5, 2070 screens, week 2, $28.3 total
7. The Women (PicH) $5.3, 2995 screens, week 2, $19.2 total
8. Ghost Town (Par/DW) - $5.1, 1505 screens, week 1, $5.1 total
9. The Dark Knight (WB)- $2.9, 1905 screens, week 10, $521.9 total
10. The House Bunny (Sony)- $2.8, 2675 screens, week 5, $45.7 total
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that when Samuel L. "Muthafu@%in'" Jackson stars in a movie, you see that muthafu@%in' movie! Lakeview Terrace appears to be the number one attraction in the land, proving that you can take a movie that's 16 years old (Unlawful Entry) and flip it around for modern audiences, slap Sammy L in the lead and have a trailer that features him screaming, and you have yourself a number one hit!
Also opening this week, possibly in third place, was a Dane Cook movie. Seriously, what kind of a world are we living in where we keep allowing this guy to star in movies? I want to know who posed that question to the universe, because The Secret certainly paid us back for that one in spades, now, didn't it? Thanks a lot, new age jerks!
What's especially upsetting is that Dane Cook's box office prowess is more potent than Ricky Gervais', whose first starring role in Ghost Town proved prophetically true with a miserable opening. (Writers with more wit will note the comparisons between a ghost town and an empty movie theater. I'm too clever for that. But I'm not above pointing out others that will do it).
And Igor, another attempt at CGI from the Weinstein Company, was the fourth movie that opened. I am completely indifferent to this movie and everything it stands for. Take that as you will.
Only two movies on the top ten are holdovers from more than 2 weeks in release, which is interesting. Everything else seems to have died on the vine. Sadly, this includes my new favorite Best Movie Of All Time, Death Race! I hope you're proud of yourself.
Below the radar, a movie called The Duchess, with Keira Knightley and a bunch of fancy costumes, opened up in limited release. It received good reviews, and I'm willing to bet it did fairly well on a small amount of screens. I'd be willing to bet it even has the highest per screen average of the week, more than Sammy L. In fact. That's my prediction. Again, lazy and going to see jousters. It's dinner AND a tournament, people! (UPDATE: Totally called it, with $29,000 per screens on it's 7 screens. I rule! Huzzah!)
There you have my amazing break down. Next week, the return of LaBouf! In a movie I'm really sick of seeing the ads for, but still want to see the movie. But those ads are really starting to get to me.
Until next weekend....
This weekend, four MORE new movies opened up wide, but the weekend estimates seem to be a little lower than last week's, so it's not as big a deal as last week's insanity. Not that last week even mattered, let's be honest. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
1. Lakeview Terrace (ScrG) - $15.6, 2464 screens, week 1, $15.6 total
2. Burn After Reading (Focus) - $11.2, 2657 screens, week 2, $36.4 total
3. My Best Friend's Girl (LGF) - $8.3, 2604 screens, week 1, $8.3 total
4. Igor (MGM/Wein)- $8.0, 2339 screens, week 1, $8.0 total
5. Righteous Kill (Over) - $7.7, 3152 screens, week 2, $28.8 total
6. Tyler Perry's The Family That Preys (LGF) - $7.5, 2070 screens, week 2, $28.3 total
7. The Women (PicH) $5.3, 2995 screens, week 2, $19.2 total
8. Ghost Town (Par/DW) - $5.1, 1505 screens, week 1, $5.1 total
9. The Dark Knight (WB)- $2.9, 1905 screens, week 10, $521.9 total
10. The House Bunny (Sony)- $2.8, 2675 screens, week 5, $45.7 total
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that when Samuel L. "Muthafu@%in'" Jackson stars in a movie, you see that muthafu@%in' movie! Lakeview Terrace appears to be the number one attraction in the land, proving that you can take a movie that's 16 years old (Unlawful Entry) and flip it around for modern audiences, slap Sammy L in the lead and have a trailer that features him screaming, and you have yourself a number one hit!
Also opening this week, possibly in third place, was a Dane Cook movie. Seriously, what kind of a world are we living in where we keep allowing this guy to star in movies? I want to know who posed that question to the universe, because The Secret certainly paid us back for that one in spades, now, didn't it? Thanks a lot, new age jerks!
What's especially upsetting is that Dane Cook's box office prowess is more potent than Ricky Gervais', whose first starring role in Ghost Town proved prophetically true with a miserable opening. (Writers with more wit will note the comparisons between a ghost town and an empty movie theater. I'm too clever for that. But I'm not above pointing out others that will do it).
And Igor, another attempt at CGI from the Weinstein Company, was the fourth movie that opened. I am completely indifferent to this movie and everything it stands for. Take that as you will.
Only two movies on the top ten are holdovers from more than 2 weeks in release, which is interesting. Everything else seems to have died on the vine. Sadly, this includes my new favorite Best Movie Of All Time, Death Race! I hope you're proud of yourself.
Below the radar, a movie called The Duchess, with Keira Knightley and a bunch of fancy costumes, opened up in limited release. It received good reviews, and I'm willing to bet it did fairly well on a small amount of screens. I'd be willing to bet it even has the highest per screen average of the week, more than Sammy L. In fact. That's my prediction. Again, lazy and going to see jousters. It's dinner AND a tournament, people! (UPDATE: Totally called it, with $29,000 per screens on it's 7 screens. I rule! Huzzah!)
There you have my amazing break down. Next week, the return of LaBouf! In a movie I'm really sick of seeing the ads for, but still want to see the movie. But those ads are really starting to get to me.
Until next weekend....
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Box Office Report: Back to normal... OR IS IT?!?
Dude here again. I have a whole lot of movies, and a whole lot of numbers to start your Monday (or late Sunday, or later, depending on if you even read this) off right.
This weekend, FOUR wide releases! I can stop talking about Batman and the other movie that did well last month! And a month to be free of Space Chimps references! (Starting now). Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
1. Burn After Reading (Focus) - $19.4, 2651 screens, week 1, $19.4 total
2. Tyler Perry's The Family That Preys (LGF) - $18.0, 2070 screens, week 1, $18.0 total
3. Righteous Kill (Over) - $16.5, 3152 screens, week 1, $16.5 total
4. The Women (PicH) $10.00, 2962 screens, week 1, $10.0 total
5. The House Bunny (Sony)- $4.3, 2763 screens, week 4, $42.1 total
6. Tropic Thunder (Par/DW) - $4.1, 2927 screens, week 5, $102.9 total
7. The Dark Knight (WB)- $4.0, 2191 screens, week 9, $517.6 total
8. Bangkok Dangerous (LGF)- $2.4, 2654 screens, week 2, $12.5 total
9. Traitor (Over) - $2.1, 2014 screens, week 3, $20.7 total
10. DEATH RACE (Uni) - $2.0, 2007 screens, week 4, $33.1 total
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that this year, the Coen brothers not only won Academy Awards for last year's No Country For Old Men, but they also have their first number 1 opening in their 25+ years of filmmaking. Congratulations boys! How does it feel to truly be accepted by the machine you became icons for fighting against?
Coming in a close, and surprising second place was the latest from the Tyler Perry canon of films, The Family That Preys. Normally I would expect the Tyler Perry movie to claim the top spot, but not this time. Not with the Mighty Coen brothers around! Coming in close to Tyler Perry is Heat 2: Electric Boogaloo, with a respectable $16 million, which is far more than most people would have predicted from that film. Rounding out the new releases is The Women, which is not a pornographic movie, as the ticket seller led me to believe. Anyway, it took over twenty years to finally get the movie made, and it opens in fourth place with very negative reviews. Kinda sad if you stop to think about it.
But if there's ever a movie that needed the Dreadnaught, it's The Women. (And next week it will be The Duchess, another Keira Knightley costume drama I fear I may be forced to see). DREADNAUGHT!
Last week's #1, Bangkok Dangerous faltered to 8th place, losing 69% of it's last weekend gross. (Which was declared the fifth lowest #1 opening... OF ALL TIME!!! See, records can be broken anywhere you choose to look!) And Step Brothers crossed the $100 million mark along with Tropic Thunder this week. Next week, I'm making up records of my own.
Below the radar, a movie called Towelhead opened up on 4 screens and took in $53,000. It was directed by the guy who created Six Feet Under, and that new HBO show that's about vampires and kinda sucks.
There you have my amazing break down. Next week, Samuel L. Jackson yells a lot, Dane Cook irritates me, and Ricky Gervais finally gets to star in a movie, albeit one he didn't write himself. We shall see.
Until next weekend....
This weekend, FOUR wide releases! I can stop talking about Batman and the other movie that did well last month! And a month to be free of Space Chimps references! (Starting now). Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
1. Burn After Reading (Focus) - $19.4, 2651 screens, week 1, $19.4 total
2. Tyler Perry's The Family That Preys (LGF) - $18.0, 2070 screens, week 1, $18.0 total
3. Righteous Kill (Over) - $16.5, 3152 screens, week 1, $16.5 total
4. The Women (PicH) $10.00, 2962 screens, week 1, $10.0 total
5. The House Bunny (Sony)- $4.3, 2763 screens, week 4, $42.1 total
6. Tropic Thunder (Par/DW) - $4.1, 2927 screens, week 5, $102.9 total
7. The Dark Knight (WB)- $4.0, 2191 screens, week 9, $517.6 total
8. Bangkok Dangerous (LGF)- $2.4, 2654 screens, week 2, $12.5 total
9. Traitor (Over) - $2.1, 2014 screens, week 3, $20.7 total
10. DEATH RACE (Uni) - $2.0, 2007 screens, week 4, $33.1 total
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that this year, the Coen brothers not only won Academy Awards for last year's No Country For Old Men, but they also have their first number 1 opening in their 25+ years of filmmaking. Congratulations boys! How does it feel to truly be accepted by the machine you became icons for fighting against?
Coming in a close, and surprising second place was the latest from the Tyler Perry canon of films, The Family That Preys. Normally I would expect the Tyler Perry movie to claim the top spot, but not this time. Not with the Mighty Coen brothers around! Coming in close to Tyler Perry is Heat 2: Electric Boogaloo, with a respectable $16 million, which is far more than most people would have predicted from that film. Rounding out the new releases is The Women, which is not a pornographic movie, as the ticket seller led me to believe. Anyway, it took over twenty years to finally get the movie made, and it opens in fourth place with very negative reviews. Kinda sad if you stop to think about it.
But if there's ever a movie that needed the Dreadnaught, it's The Women. (And next week it will be The Duchess, another Keira Knightley costume drama I fear I may be forced to see). DREADNAUGHT!
Last week's #1, Bangkok Dangerous faltered to 8th place, losing 69% of it's last weekend gross. (Which was declared the fifth lowest #1 opening... OF ALL TIME!!! See, records can be broken anywhere you choose to look!) And Step Brothers crossed the $100 million mark along with Tropic Thunder this week. Next week, I'm making up records of my own.
Below the radar, a movie called Towelhead opened up on 4 screens and took in $53,000. It was directed by the guy who created Six Feet Under, and that new HBO show that's about vampires and kinda sucks.
There you have my amazing break down. Next week, Samuel L. Jackson yells a lot, Dane Cook irritates me, and Ricky Gervais finally gets to star in a movie, albeit one he didn't write himself. We shall see.
Until next weekend....
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Monday, September 08, 2008
Becca needs our help
Becca, the better, prettier EAST SI-IDE half of me who always shows up at every wedding I attend (and makes them that much more bossome!) needs our help. She works at Zoom Media, and she does promotions. Promotions that rock. (Except when they involve me passing out lukewarm hot chocolate in 2 degree weather). And she just got promoted, too, which means she can buy more drinks when we go out.
Anyway, if you awesome readers would be so kind as to check out these programs she and her team put together and vote for them! It's simple. It's easy. And it keeps yours truly awash in free swag and with an eternal wedding date!
Check out here, here, and... here. You can vote for more than one winner per category so vote for all the Zoom programs!!
Thanks! And just as a reward for helping out Becca:
I drink it up.
Sunday, September 07, 2008
Box Office Report: Back From Vacation
Dude here again. So I've been on vacation for the past few weeks. I needed a break. The whole Batman thing just wore me out all summer. So I took a nice long break, to the land of diners and good pizza. But now I'm back, and ready to report numbers! Who doesn't love numbers?!?
This weekend, only one new wide release. But it's real low! And it's not a very good movie! Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
1. Bangkok Dangerous (LGF)- $7.8, 2650 screens, week 1, $7.8 total
2. Tropic Thunder (Par/DW) - $7.5, 3446 screens, week 4, $96.8 total
3. The House Bunny (Sony)- $5.9, 2736 screens, week 3, $36.9 total
4. The Dark Knight (WB)- $5.7, 2575 screens, week 8, $512.1 total
5. Traitor (Over) - $4.6, 2108 screens, week 2, $17.6 total
6. Babylon A.D. (Fox) - $4.0, 3425 screens, week 2, $17.1 total
7. DEATH RACE! (Uni) - $3.5, 2586 screens, week 3, $29.7 total
8. Disaster Movie (LGF) - $3.3, 2642 screens, week 2, $10.8 total
9. Mamma Mia! (Uni) - $2.7, 1904 screens, week 8, $136.2 total
10. Pineapple Express (Sony) $2.4, 1802 screens, week 5, $84.1 total
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, Tropic Thunder doesn't get to tie The Dark Knight and take 4 weeks in the top spot. (Unless the Sunday estimates are wrong, and Tropic Thunder is #1 again, in which case that whole last sentence is void). The Nicolas Cage remake Bangkok Dangerous, which could possibly be the most boring movie I've seen this year, opened up in the number one spot with $7.8 million. This is the tenth lowest #1 opening movie OF ALL TIME! See, Batman? You're not the only record breaker around these parts.
Everything else made very little money, as this weekend is the sorbet, cleansing the palette of our movie theaters to make room for the taste of serious minded films, like a new Coen brothers movie and other things that don't involve comic book sources. There's also the prevailing theory that the first weekend of NFL football attracts more viewers than movies do, and this weekend is proof of that.
Still, The Dark Knight settles into being the #2 grossing movie of all time. The House Bunny enjoys a nice boost. Babylon A.D. flails like a necrotic limb. Disaster Movie makes nobody laugh. Mamma Mia continues to dazzle. Space Chimps isn't even reported anymore. Journey to the Center of the Earth 3-D has made $95 million this summer. The Mummy 3 inches over the $100 million threshold...
And then there's DEATH RACE! A movie so badass, it needs bold typeface! It's probably the best movie I've seen all summer, if only because of the presence of "The Dreadnaught!" a terrifying vehicular monstrosity that should be inserted into any movie that's running stale and needs a jolt of energy. Pride and Prejudice? Oh, Elizabeth Bennet is confused because of Mr. Darcy's mixed signals BAM! The Dreadnaught plows in and destroys the Bennet's farm! Anyway, not enough people are seeing Death Race, which is a shame.
Below the radar, a movie called Everybody Wants To Be Italian opened up on 98 screens and took in $218,000. I know nothing of this movie. But I have an idea: A township in New Jersey watches an episode of The Sopranos, and suddenly everybody wants to be Italian. I'm pretty sure it's a documentary.
There you have my amazing break down. Next week, more movies open up, and I lament the displacement of DEATH RACE for those movies.
Until next weekend....
This weekend, only one new wide release. But it's real low! And it's not a very good movie! Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
1. Bangkok Dangerous (LGF)- $7.8, 2650 screens, week 1, $7.8 total
2. Tropic Thunder (Par/DW) - $7.5, 3446 screens, week 4, $96.8 total
3. The House Bunny (Sony)- $5.9, 2736 screens, week 3, $36.9 total
4. The Dark Knight (WB)- $5.7, 2575 screens, week 8, $512.1 total
5. Traitor (Over) - $4.6, 2108 screens, week 2, $17.6 total
6. Babylon A.D. (Fox) - $4.0, 3425 screens, week 2, $17.1 total
7. DEATH RACE! (Uni) - $3.5, 2586 screens, week 3, $29.7 total
8. Disaster Movie (LGF) - $3.3, 2642 screens, week 2, $10.8 total
9. Mamma Mia! (Uni) - $2.7, 1904 screens, week 8, $136.2 total
10. Pineapple Express (Sony) $2.4, 1802 screens, week 5, $84.1 total
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, Tropic Thunder doesn't get to tie The Dark Knight and take 4 weeks in the top spot. (Unless the Sunday estimates are wrong, and Tropic Thunder is #1 again, in which case that whole last sentence is void). The Nicolas Cage remake Bangkok Dangerous, which could possibly be the most boring movie I've seen this year, opened up in the number one spot with $7.8 million. This is the tenth lowest #1 opening movie OF ALL TIME! See, Batman? You're not the only record breaker around these parts.
Everything else made very little money, as this weekend is the sorbet, cleansing the palette of our movie theaters to make room for the taste of serious minded films, like a new Coen brothers movie and other things that don't involve comic book sources. There's also the prevailing theory that the first weekend of NFL football attracts more viewers than movies do, and this weekend is proof of that.
Still, The Dark Knight settles into being the #2 grossing movie of all time. The House Bunny enjoys a nice boost. Babylon A.D. flails like a necrotic limb. Disaster Movie makes nobody laugh. Mamma Mia continues to dazzle. Space Chimps isn't even reported anymore. Journey to the Center of the Earth 3-D has made $95 million this summer. The Mummy 3 inches over the $100 million threshold...
And then there's DEATH RACE! A movie so badass, it needs bold typeface! It's probably the best movie I've seen all summer, if only because of the presence of "The Dreadnaught!" a terrifying vehicular monstrosity that should be inserted into any movie that's running stale and needs a jolt of energy. Pride and Prejudice? Oh, Elizabeth Bennet is confused because of Mr. Darcy's mixed signals BAM! The Dreadnaught plows in and destroys the Bennet's farm! Anyway, not enough people are seeing Death Race, which is a shame.
Below the radar, a movie called Everybody Wants To Be Italian opened up on 98 screens and took in $218,000. I know nothing of this movie. But I have an idea: A township in New Jersey watches an episode of The Sopranos, and suddenly everybody wants to be Italian. I'm pretty sure it's a documentary.
There you have my amazing break down. Next week, more movies open up, and I lament the displacement of DEATH RACE for those movies.
Until next weekend....
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Damn Fine Interweb Television
So, this is one of those streaming web shows. It's not very good, and is almost cringe inducing. Seriously. I'll hold onto my opinions about everything involving this show out of a modicum of respect for the fact that they have their own show, and I sit here and bitch and moan on my blog. But it's seriously painful.
However, this particular episode features a goddamn genius. Go to any moment in the show (it is very long, and definitely not appropriate for a work environment, so feel free to skip around) and listen to the guy in the sunglasses speak. He makes it all worthwhile. He is also the director of the music videos, which are also worth checking out. (Again, they are not safe for the work environment. At least the final one is).
So check it out.
However, this particular episode features a goddamn genius. Go to any moment in the show (it is very long, and definitely not appropriate for a work environment, so feel free to skip around) and listen to the guy in the sunglasses speak. He makes it all worthwhile. He is also the director of the music videos, which are also worth checking out. (Again, they are not safe for the work environment. At least the final one is).
So check it out.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Another Box Office Report
Dude here again. How about this Bigfoot discovery? Between that, the Chupacabra filmed running along the Mexican border, and that Montauk Monster, it's a pretty exciting time to be around! This just means that every movie is right. Always remember that. Movies never lie. And neither do people who bring monsters to the public eye.
This weekend, it finally happened. The Unthinkable. Batman has been dethroned. And a Star Wars movie didn't open to the number one spot either. Many a tear is shed. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
1. Tropic Thunder (Par/DW) - $26.0, 3319 screens, week 1, $37.0 total (wed open)
2. The Dark Knight (WB)- $16.7, 3590 screens, week 5, $471.4 total
3. Star Wars: Clone Wars (WB)- $15.5, 3452 screens, week 1, $15.5 total
4. Mirrors (Fox)- $11.1, 2664 screens, week 1, $11.1 total
5. Pineapple Express (Sony) $10.0, 3072 screens, week 2, $62.9 total
6. The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (Uni) - $8.6, 3363 screens, week 3, $86.6 total
7. Mamma Mia! (Uni) - $6.4, 2771 screens, week 5, $116.4 total
8. Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 (WB) - $5.9, 2714 screens, week 2, $32.1 total
9. Step Brothers (Sony) - $5.0, 2648 screens, week 4, $90.8 total
10. Vicky Cristina Barcelona (MGM/Wein) - $3.7, 692 screens, week 1, $3.7 total
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, like I said before, Batman is no longer number one. Sure, it surpassed the original Star Wars in terms of all time gross, and is the #2 movie of all time (where it will most likely stay for a long time). But Ben Stiller knocked him down. The Focker beat Batman. Granted, he had help from Iron Man and Danny McBride, but still. Tropic Thunder takes the cake for the weak. It's the same sort of celebration Lost In Space had when it finally knocked off Titanic from the top spot.
And Star Wars: Clone Wars met with terrible reviews. TERRIBLE reviews. And came in third, making this the first Star Wars movie to a) not open at #1; b) not have the 20th Century Fox Logo; c) or the opening crawl; and d) not have John Williams music. I don't even think it should be considered a Star Wars movie, but apparently since Yoda's in it, it does. I wish Samuel L. Jackson did his voice over in the manner we all wish he would.
Mirrors. There's a horror movie called Mirrors that also opened this weekend. I'm too tired to think of a pun related to reflecting a gross, but it did just alright. And the new Woody Allen movie, Vicky Cristina Barcelona took in $3.7 million, which is really really good for a Woody Allen opening.
Below the radar, Fly Me To The Moon, a 3-D movie about flies going into space, took in $2 million on 452 screens. As we've learned from this summer, nobody wants to see movies about animals going into space. Unless they're chimps. Space Chimps. Also, Henry Poole Is Here, a spiritually uplifting movie that stars Luke Wilson. It took in $800,000 on just over 500 screens. That's already better than Idiocracy. Which is a shame, because Idiocracy is basically the harsh reality version of Wall-E.
There you have my amazing break down. Next week, if it's the end of summer, there must be a Jason Statham movie coming out... DEATH RACE!
Until next weekend....
This weekend, it finally happened. The Unthinkable. Batman has been dethroned. And a Star Wars movie didn't open to the number one spot either. Many a tear is shed. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
1. Tropic Thunder (Par/DW) - $26.0, 3319 screens, week 1, $37.0 total (wed open)
2. The Dark Knight (WB)- $16.7, 3590 screens, week 5, $471.4 total
3. Star Wars: Clone Wars (WB)- $15.5, 3452 screens, week 1, $15.5 total
4. Mirrors (Fox)- $11.1, 2664 screens, week 1, $11.1 total
5. Pineapple Express (Sony) $10.0, 3072 screens, week 2, $62.9 total
6. The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (Uni) - $8.6, 3363 screens, week 3, $86.6 total
7. Mamma Mia! (Uni) - $6.4, 2771 screens, week 5, $116.4 total
8. Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 (WB) - $5.9, 2714 screens, week 2, $32.1 total
9. Step Brothers (Sony) - $5.0, 2648 screens, week 4, $90.8 total
10. Vicky Cristina Barcelona (MGM/Wein) - $3.7, 692 screens, week 1, $3.7 total
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, like I said before, Batman is no longer number one. Sure, it surpassed the original Star Wars in terms of all time gross, and is the #2 movie of all time (where it will most likely stay for a long time). But Ben Stiller knocked him down. The Focker beat Batman. Granted, he had help from Iron Man and Danny McBride, but still. Tropic Thunder takes the cake for the weak. It's the same sort of celebration Lost In Space had when it finally knocked off Titanic from the top spot.
And Star Wars: Clone Wars met with terrible reviews. TERRIBLE reviews. And came in third, making this the first Star Wars movie to a) not open at #1; b) not have the 20th Century Fox Logo; c) or the opening crawl; and d) not have John Williams music. I don't even think it should be considered a Star Wars movie, but apparently since Yoda's in it, it does. I wish Samuel L. Jackson did his voice over in the manner we all wish he would.
Mirrors. There's a horror movie called Mirrors that also opened this weekend. I'm too tired to think of a pun related to reflecting a gross, but it did just alright. And the new Woody Allen movie, Vicky Cristina Barcelona took in $3.7 million, which is really really good for a Woody Allen opening.
Below the radar, Fly Me To The Moon, a 3-D movie about flies going into space, took in $2 million on 452 screens. As we've learned from this summer, nobody wants to see movies about animals going into space. Unless they're chimps. Space Chimps. Also, Henry Poole Is Here, a spiritually uplifting movie that stars Luke Wilson. It took in $800,000 on just over 500 screens. That's already better than Idiocracy. Which is a shame, because Idiocracy is basically the harsh reality version of Wall-E.
There you have my amazing break down. Next week, if it's the end of summer, there must be a Jason Statham movie coming out... DEATH RACE!
Until next weekend....
Sunday, August 10, 2008
The Box Office Report returns to normal
Dude here again. I've returned to normal, linear narrative this week. (And no, I did not do that specifically so I could be in a world where Space Chimps tops a list). However, because I've become mildly obsessed with Christopher Nolan in the past few weeks, I've decided this week should be written in the style of Nolan's 2002 film Insomnia. By which I mean this is a reasonably done adaptation of a Norwegian original.
This weekend, yet another contender steps up to the plate to take down the winged one. And once again, there is a failure to do so. But it was close, and it looks like next week, Batman might be de-throned. But that's neither here nor there. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
1. The Dark Knight (WB)- $26.0, 4025 screens, week 4, $441.5 total
2. Pineapple Express (Sony) $22.4, 3072 screens, week 1, $40.4 total (wed. open)
3. The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (Uni) - $16.1, 3778 screens, week 2, $70.6 total
4. Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 (WB) - $10.7, 2707 screens, week 1, $19.7 total (wed. open)
5. Step Brothers (Sony) - $8.9, 3182 screens, week 3, $80.9 total
6. Mamma Mia! (Uni) - $8.0, 3194 screens, week 4, $104.0 total
7. Journey To The Center of the Earth 3-D (NL) - $4.8, 1970 screens, week 5, $81.7 total
8. Hancock (Sony)- $3.3, 2258 screens, week 6, $221.7 total
9. Swing Vote (BV)- $3.1, 2213 screens, week 2, $12.0 total
10. Wall-E (BV) - $3.0, 2144 screens, week 7, $210.1 total
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Seth Rogen and James Franco lit a spliff and did their damnedest, but they were unable to wrest the number one spot from Batman. People like the Batman. It is now the number 3 highest grossing film of all time. Just after Star Wars and Titanic. Pineapple Express, however, opened up on Wednesday and took in $40 million over those five days. Mighty impressive.
More importantly, the most anticipated sequel of the summer, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2, opened up on Wednesday as well, and didn't perform nearly as well as it should have. This might be more devastating than Space Chimps fiasco of last month. How can audiences miss the continuing adventures of... those girls and their... pants?
The Mummy suffers a steep stumble in it's second week, and it's possible the OTHER Brendan Fraser movie this year will prove to be the more successful. Or, they're evenly matched. And Mamma Mia crossed $100 million while we were paying attention the bat movie.
(You like how I made not one, but TWO Space Chimps references in one article? I will never let this movie die).
Below the radar, Bottle Shock, a movie about wine, opened up on 48 screens and took in $295,000, while Beer For My Horses, a film I'm presuming is about beer and horses and revenge, took in $226,000 on 98 screens. And Hell Ride, hands down, easily the worst movie I've seen this year, took in $83,500 on 82 screens. That's far too much money for that movie. It's... it's just awful. But it should be awesome. But it's just not.
There you have my amazing break down. Next week, Tropic Thunder rolls in, and an animated Star Wars movie opens up. That's a movie I completely forgot was coming out until just this moment.
Until next weekend....
This weekend, yet another contender steps up to the plate to take down the winged one. And once again, there is a failure to do so. But it was close, and it looks like next week, Batman might be de-throned. But that's neither here nor there. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
1. The Dark Knight (WB)- $26.0, 4025 screens, week 4, $441.5 total
2. Pineapple Express (Sony) $22.4, 3072 screens, week 1, $40.4 total (wed. open)
3. The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (Uni) - $16.1, 3778 screens, week 2, $70.6 total
4. Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 (WB) - $10.7, 2707 screens, week 1, $19.7 total (wed. open)
5. Step Brothers (Sony) - $8.9, 3182 screens, week 3, $80.9 total
6. Mamma Mia! (Uni) - $8.0, 3194 screens, week 4, $104.0 total
7. Journey To The Center of the Earth 3-D (NL) - $4.8, 1970 screens, week 5, $81.7 total
8. Hancock (Sony)- $3.3, 2258 screens, week 6, $221.7 total
9. Swing Vote (BV)- $3.1, 2213 screens, week 2, $12.0 total
10. Wall-E (BV) - $3.0, 2144 screens, week 7, $210.1 total
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Seth Rogen and James Franco lit a spliff and did their damnedest, but they were unable to wrest the number one spot from Batman. People like the Batman. It is now the number 3 highest grossing film of all time. Just after Star Wars and Titanic. Pineapple Express, however, opened up on Wednesday and took in $40 million over those five days. Mighty impressive.
More importantly, the most anticipated sequel of the summer, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2, opened up on Wednesday as well, and didn't perform nearly as well as it should have. This might be more devastating than Space Chimps fiasco of last month. How can audiences miss the continuing adventures of... those girls and their... pants?
The Mummy suffers a steep stumble in it's second week, and it's possible the OTHER Brendan Fraser movie this year will prove to be the more successful. Or, they're evenly matched. And Mamma Mia crossed $100 million while we were paying attention the bat movie.
(You like how I made not one, but TWO Space Chimps references in one article? I will never let this movie die).
Below the radar, Bottle Shock, a movie about wine, opened up on 48 screens and took in $295,000, while Beer For My Horses, a film I'm presuming is about beer and horses and revenge, took in $226,000 on 98 screens. And Hell Ride, hands down, easily the worst movie I've seen this year, took in $83,500 on 82 screens. That's far too much money for that movie. It's... it's just awful. But it should be awesome. But it's just not.
There you have my amazing break down. Next week, Tropic Thunder rolls in, and an animated Star Wars movie opens up. That's a movie I completely forgot was coming out until just this moment.
Until next weekend....
Sunday, August 03, 2008
Edition Inspired Memento: Report Office Box
Until next weekend....
There you have my amazing break down honoring the previous works of Christopher Nolan. Next week, I return to normal, and we get another Apatow movie with my nemesis Seth Rogen! But the biggest blockbuster of the summer will open, too- Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2! I got my ticket for the midnight show already. Oh, and some Olympics are happening too, but who cares when we got traveling pants!
Below the radar, some amazingly titled movies opened in limited release. Well, only one, really. Midnight Meat Train opened up on 102 screens, none of which are near me, and took in $32,000. There's a history about this film and it's none release that I will not mention because I'm lazy and having too much trouble figuring out the backwards thing. Also, In Search Of A Midnight Kiss opened up on 2 screens and took in $14,000. All I know is they should have combined the two movies and made "In Search of a Midnight Meat Train Kiss". Actually, that sounds disturbingly pornographic.
Where was I? Oh right, Swing Vote. Yeah, it didn't really attract a lot of viewers. But it's Kevin Costner, and he tends to have some draw, I think. Right? What was the last movie Costner was in? I'm totally drawing a blank. The only movie that comes to my mind is The Postman. And that movie rocks, because it's about the post apocalyptic wasteland AND it has Tom Petty playing himself.
I would like to point out that while The Dark Knight took the top spot, Brendan Fraser managed to draw in more people to his movies, as he stars in the number 2 and 5 movies this weekend. Take of that what you will, but I think it just means that our lives will be Fraser-ized for a long time to come. Long live the Encino Man!
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Batman made more money. Broke some more records. Big surprise. However, the numbers between this and The Mummy are very close, and being that these are estimates, it's possible that Universal could pull off an upset. Regardless, Dark Knight continues it's dominance, and may indeed break $500 million in domestic gross. Then it will struggle to reach the Titanic record, unless you nerds out there keep buying those tickets!
10. Space Chimps (Fox) $2.8, 2134 screens, week 3, $22.0 total
9. X-Files: I Want To Believe (Fox) - $3.4, 3185 screens, week 2, $17.0 total
8. Wall-E (BV) - $4.7, 2555 screens, week 6, $204.2 total
7. Hancock (Sony)- $5.2, 2782 screens, week 5, $215.9 total
6. Swing Vote (BV)- $6.3, 2213 screens, week 1, $6.3 total
5. Journey To The Center of the Earth 3-D (NL) - $6.8, 2285 screens, week 4, $73.1 total
4. Mamma Mia! (Uni) - $13.1, 3062 screens, week 3, $87.9 total
3. Step Brothers (Sony) - $16.3, 3094 screens, week 2, $62.9 total
2. The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (Uni) - $42.4, 3760 screens, week 1, $42.4 total
1. The Dark Knight (WB)- $43.8, 4266 screens, week 3, $394.8 total
This weekend, Brendan Fraser steps up and tries to take down the Batman. He doesn't succeed, but comes awfully close. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
(And I bet the guys at the site will think I formatted it wrong, too. But they shouldn't believe their eyes).
Dude here again. It looks like The Dark Knight has once again conquered the top of the box office. In honor of director Christopher Nolan, I've decided to construct this box office report the same way as Nolan's break out film Memento. I briefly considered writing the entire thing backwards, but that's just a lot of work for a lot of confusion. And this is hard enough as it is. Seriously. And I bet you there will be mass confusion until you finish this paragraph.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Embedded Video Wednesday
Because I'm lazy, here's some fun things for you to check out.
First, another tinkering of Star Wars by George Lucas. That bastard.
Next, Some good old fashioned Bert and Ernie, doing what they do best.
Finally, from a song that pretty much sums up today in a nut shell.
Drink up kids. I am.
First, another tinkering of Star Wars by George Lucas. That bastard.
Next, Some good old fashioned Bert and Ernie, doing what they do best.
Finally, from a song that pretty much sums up today in a nut shell.
Drink up kids. I am.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Box Office Report: BAT ATTACK-WEEK 2!
Dude here again.I'm still in a funk over the disappointing numbers concerning a certain film named Space Chimps. This one is a no brainer, people! Monkeys, in space suits! What don't you people get?!?
This weekend, in a surprise to absolutely nobody at all, The Dark Knight continued it's reign of terror, while a few noble flicks tried in vein to make money on their own. One movie had a chance. The other did not. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
1. The Dark Knight (WB)- $75.6, 4366 screens, week 2, $314.2 total
2. Step Brothers (Sony) - $30.0, 3094 screens, week 1, $30.0 total
3. Mamma Mia! (Uni) - $17.8, 2990 screens, week 2, $62.7 total
4. X-Files: I Want To Believe (Fox) - $10.2, 3185 screens, week 1, $10.2 total
5. Journey To The Center of the Earth 3-D (NL) - $9.4, 2688 screens, week 3, $60.1 total
6. Hancock (Sony)- $8.2, 3309 screens, week 4, $206.3 total
7. Wall-E (BV) - $6.3, 3044 screens, week 5, $195.2 total
8. Hellboy II: The Golden Army (Uni)- $4.9, 3018 screens, week 3, $65.8 total
9. Space Chimps (Fox) $4.3, 2538 screens, week 2, $16.0 total
10. Wanted (Uni) - $2.7, 1754 screens, week 5, $128.6 total
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? To be honest, I'm pretty sick of talking about the records that Batman broke. Pretty much go back in the archives and Find/Replace all "Pirates of The Caribbean 2" records with "Dark Knight" and you get the picture. So that's all I'm going to say about that.
Step Brothers, the latest from Will Ferrell, and the first of many comedies in the next few weeks that may or may not feature the same group of actors and taglines that contain the words "From the guys that brought you Superbad", did well. It's the best opening Ferrell has had since Talladega Nights. The X-Files movie, however, fared horribly, taking in $10 million. A far cry from the $30 million opening the previous X Files film opened to a full decade ago. Wow, I feel old.
Mamma Mia! continues to make my roommate sing ABBA songs (thanks for that, by the way) as it had a low decline in it's second week. In all the craziness with last week's bat-nannigans, it should be noted that Mamma Mia! has the biggest opening for a musical. (Non-animated, I believe). I don't know, they made up some record last week to make the movie feel better about itself for opening up against Batman.
Poor Hellboy, who had a very impressive opening but then stumbled terribly performance-wise thanks to that menace. Even Hancock got a fair chance before being completely forgotten. No worries, Hellboy, you're still the tops to me!
Below the radar, some movie called American Teen which is a "documentary" version of The Breakfast Club opened on 5 screens, and took in $44,000. I will not see this film. The only teen dialogue I want to hear uttered in a darkened theater needs that "Diablo Cody" touch. Honest to blog. Oh, and a documentary called Mon On Wire opened up on 2 screens, and took in $48,000, but had the highest per screen average of the weekend, besting the Bat. One less prize, Batman!
There you have my amazing break down. Next week, The Mummy Returns... Again
Until next weekend....
This weekend, in a surprise to absolutely nobody at all, The Dark Knight continued it's reign of terror, while a few noble flicks tried in vein to make money on their own. One movie had a chance. The other did not. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
1. The Dark Knight (WB)- $75.6, 4366 screens, week 2, $314.2 total
2. Step Brothers (Sony) - $30.0, 3094 screens, week 1, $30.0 total
3. Mamma Mia! (Uni) - $17.8, 2990 screens, week 2, $62.7 total
4. X-Files: I Want To Believe (Fox) - $10.2, 3185 screens, week 1, $10.2 total
5. Journey To The Center of the Earth 3-D (NL) - $9.4, 2688 screens, week 3, $60.1 total
6. Hancock (Sony)- $8.2, 3309 screens, week 4, $206.3 total
7. Wall-E (BV) - $6.3, 3044 screens, week 5, $195.2 total
8. Hellboy II: The Golden Army (Uni)- $4.9, 3018 screens, week 3, $65.8 total
9. Space Chimps (Fox) $4.3, 2538 screens, week 2, $16.0 total
10. Wanted (Uni) - $2.7, 1754 screens, week 5, $128.6 total
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? To be honest, I'm pretty sick of talking about the records that Batman broke. Pretty much go back in the archives and Find/Replace all "Pirates of The Caribbean 2" records with "Dark Knight" and you get the picture. So that's all I'm going to say about that.
Step Brothers, the latest from Will Ferrell, and the first of many comedies in the next few weeks that may or may not feature the same group of actors and taglines that contain the words "From the guys that brought you Superbad", did well. It's the best opening Ferrell has had since Talladega Nights. The X-Files movie, however, fared horribly, taking in $10 million. A far cry from the $30 million opening the previous X Files film opened to a full decade ago. Wow, I feel old.
Mamma Mia! continues to make my roommate sing ABBA songs (thanks for that, by the way) as it had a low decline in it's second week. In all the craziness with last week's bat-nannigans, it should be noted that Mamma Mia! has the biggest opening for a musical. (Non-animated, I believe). I don't know, they made up some record last week to make the movie feel better about itself for opening up against Batman.
Poor Hellboy, who had a very impressive opening but then stumbled terribly performance-wise thanks to that menace. Even Hancock got a fair chance before being completely forgotten. No worries, Hellboy, you're still the tops to me!
Below the radar, some movie called American Teen which is a "documentary" version of The Breakfast Club opened on 5 screens, and took in $44,000. I will not see this film. The only teen dialogue I want to hear uttered in a darkened theater needs that "Diablo Cody" touch. Honest to blog. Oh, and a documentary called Mon On Wire opened up on 2 screens, and took in $48,000, but had the highest per screen average of the weekend, besting the Bat. One less prize, Batman!
There you have my amazing break down. Next week, The Mummy Returns... Again
Until next weekend....
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Siskel and Ebert and Roeper no more
It was recently announced that my favorite television program Ebert and Roeper at the Movies, was cancelled, in order to make way for a new, E!-style entertainment news program, hosted by a couple of young guys, none of whom are me. (To be honest, when I first started with my movie reviews, the ultimate goal would have been to be one of the replacement hosts).
This show has been on longer than I've been alive. I remember watching it every Saturday as a child, as that's where I heard about most of the movies I saw, even at a young age. (I was a weird kid, what do you want). I reeled in shock when At The Movies became Siskel and Ebert, as At the Movies replaced our beloved Chi town critics with Rex Reed and Michael Medved. I stayed with the show upon the untimely passing of Gene Siskel, a man who loved Saturday Night Fever more than my friend Steve. (And Steve's reasoning was mainly the music*. Yes, Steve was always a little weirder than me). I remember the string of guest hosts leading up to Roeper's placement in the balcony. And now, thanks to the wonderful invention of DVR, I continue to watch the show, even though I think Roeper's gotten a little too big for his britches since Roger had to leave the show 2 years ago due to a cancerous growth that robbed the man of his voice. (But not his words).
It's foolish to change the format of the show, and I'm happy that Ebert and Roeper both decided to walk away as opposed to conforming. (Not that they were asked). I have a feeling they will continue in another medium (interweb, perchance?) and I will probably follow them until the bitter end. Or I've taken over. It's fun to dream.
Anyway, here's something from about 21 years ago. It's Siskel and Ebert doing a promo, then entering into a Zinging contest. It's pretty damn great. Enjoy.
*Senior year of high school, Steve and I would drive around town, blasting that Saturday Night Fever soundtrack. There was one track, an instrumental salsa beat tune, that we dubbed "Priest and a Cop", because it sounded like the theme song of a TV show that would possess that name. Steve would take this one step further, and put a piece of tape onhis collar, and bless the passengers in the cars that we passed. Like I said, we were weird guys).
This show has been on longer than I've been alive. I remember watching it every Saturday as a child, as that's where I heard about most of the movies I saw, even at a young age. (I was a weird kid, what do you want). I reeled in shock when At The Movies became Siskel and Ebert, as At the Movies replaced our beloved Chi town critics with Rex Reed and Michael Medved. I stayed with the show upon the untimely passing of Gene Siskel, a man who loved Saturday Night Fever more than my friend Steve. (And Steve's reasoning was mainly the music*. Yes, Steve was always a little weirder than me). I remember the string of guest hosts leading up to Roeper's placement in the balcony. And now, thanks to the wonderful invention of DVR, I continue to watch the show, even though I think Roeper's gotten a little too big for his britches since Roger had to leave the show 2 years ago due to a cancerous growth that robbed the man of his voice. (But not his words).
It's foolish to change the format of the show, and I'm happy that Ebert and Roeper both decided to walk away as opposed to conforming. (Not that they were asked). I have a feeling they will continue in another medium (interweb, perchance?) and I will probably follow them until the bitter end. Or I've taken over. It's fun to dream.
Anyway, here's something from about 21 years ago. It's Siskel and Ebert doing a promo, then entering into a Zinging contest. It's pretty damn great. Enjoy.
*Senior year of high school, Steve and I would drive around town, blasting that Saturday Night Fever soundtrack. There was one track, an instrumental salsa beat tune, that we dubbed "Priest and a Cop", because it sounded like the theme song of a TV show that would possess that name. Steve would take this one step further, and put a piece of tape onhis collar, and bless the passengers in the cars that we passed. Like I said, we were weird guys).
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Holy Shit!
Just got back from The Dark Knight. It really is as good as everyone says it is. Solid filmmaking all around. It really feels like if you took out Batman and replaced him with Al Pacino, the movie becomes Heat. Just outstanding in every respect, this film is. It has better action sequences, looks gorgeous, is cut well, has great music, and through it all, there is the elephant in the room that manages to steal the show and make you wish that you could turn back time and get a certain actor's shit together so that you could see more fantastic performances by him. Alas, this is one of two bizarre swan songs for the man, but this will most likely be one for the ages. Once the movie's over, you'll forget any inkling of the phrase "Nicholson's performance is the definitive Bat-villain".
No more. Ledger does tremendous work, and anytime he's not in the movie, you find yourself missing him.
Outstanding work all around. You owe it to yourself to check this movie out. On the biggest screen, with the best picture and sound conditions possible.
Holy Hyperbole-Laden Box Office Report, Batman!
Dude here again. I want you to prepare yourself for the biggest, most amazing and important box office report of my career, and of possibly your life. Never again will you witness something as miraculous as the numbers I am about to report to you. Sit yourself down and get ready to have your mind blown so much that it's gonna melt your face right off like you just removed the lid from the Ark of the Covenant.
This weekend, in a surprise to absolutely nobody at all, The Dark Knight opened up. And it opened up big. Really big. How big? Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
1. The Dark Knight (WB)- $1,000,000,000; 4366 screens, week 1, $1,000,000,000 total
7. Space Chimps (Fox) $7,350,000, 2511 screens, week 1, $7,350,000 total
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means Batman managed to break every single record in existence. Every single one. It made one billion dollars! It singlehandedly restored the damage down from the 4-month Writer's Strike on Hollywood. In 3 days!!!
The Dark Knight managed to play on the most amount of screens (4366 locations, 4 more than Pirates last year) and most places cancelled their other shows of other movies (like Meet Dave, Love Guru, and the Happening) meaning that The Dark Knight played on something close to 20,000 screens. Multiply that by the amount of shows per screen, and it means that the film played over 100,000 times!
There's more, too! It made the most in 3 days than any other motion picture in the history of all time. It took in $18 million on the midnight shows alone, to take in $66 million on Friday alone. (Biggest opening day). The IMAX screens have been sold out for weeks, setting records for IMAX pre-sales. It had the largest per screen average of the weekend, to boot!
That's not all. Since it's release Friday, the stock market saw a remarkable upswing, and the price of oil was lowered by $50 a barrel! The Dark Knight also managed to cure several diseases, including Syphilis and Restless Leg Syndrome. It restored sight to a group of blind people, and brought hope and faith to a small town in Nebraska, who had almost given up entirely. It took gold in the 50 AND 100 meter dash, and is poised for silver in several other events in the Olympics, which haven't even occurred yet. It has been nominated for several Academy Awards already, in addition to its Nobel Peace Prize nomination. (Bono, watch your back). And there are rumors that the image of Heath Ledger giving the thumbs have been showing up in spilled popcorn messes in theaters across the world.
Which means only one thing: Space Chimps failed to capture the global zeitgeist like the ads would have us believe. This brings shame to all.
There you have my amazing break down. Next week, even more records will be broken, as The Dark Knight tries to jump over 17 buses (2 more than Evel Kenieval!!) while translating the forgotten texts of the lost city of Atlantis. Oh, and the new X-Files movie comes out, too.
Until next weekend....
This weekend, in a surprise to absolutely nobody at all, The Dark Knight opened up. And it opened up big. Really big. How big? Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
1. The Dark Knight (WB)- $1,000,000,000; 4366 screens, week 1, $1,000,000,000 total
7. Space Chimps (Fox) $7,350,000, 2511 screens, week 1, $7,350,000 total
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means Batman managed to break every single record in existence. Every single one. It made one billion dollars! It singlehandedly restored the damage down from the 4-month Writer's Strike on Hollywood. In 3 days!!!
The Dark Knight managed to play on the most amount of screens (4366 locations, 4 more than Pirates last year) and most places cancelled their other shows of other movies (like Meet Dave, Love Guru, and the Happening) meaning that The Dark Knight played on something close to 20,000 screens. Multiply that by the amount of shows per screen, and it means that the film played over 100,000 times!
There's more, too! It made the most in 3 days than any other motion picture in the history of all time. It took in $18 million on the midnight shows alone, to take in $66 million on Friday alone. (Biggest opening day). The IMAX screens have been sold out for weeks, setting records for IMAX pre-sales. It had the largest per screen average of the weekend, to boot!
That's not all. Since it's release Friday, the stock market saw a remarkable upswing, and the price of oil was lowered by $50 a barrel! The Dark Knight also managed to cure several diseases, including Syphilis and Restless Leg Syndrome. It restored sight to a group of blind people, and brought hope and faith to a small town in Nebraska, who had almost given up entirely. It took gold in the 50 AND 100 meter dash, and is poised for silver in several other events in the Olympics, which haven't even occurred yet. It has been nominated for several Academy Awards already, in addition to its Nobel Peace Prize nomination. (Bono, watch your back). And there are rumors that the image of Heath Ledger giving the thumbs have been showing up in spilled popcorn messes in theaters across the world.
Which means only one thing: Space Chimps failed to capture the global zeitgeist like the ads would have us believe. This brings shame to all.
There you have my amazing break down. Next week, even more records will be broken, as The Dark Knight tries to jump over 17 buses (2 more than Evel Kenieval!!) while translating the forgotten texts of the lost city of Atlantis. Oh, and the new X-Files movie comes out, too.
Until next weekend....
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