Hi everybody! So, as you may remember, I used to write awesome reviews of flicks for Moviesonline.ca back in the day. It was a fun gig, even if I was pretty lazy at it. (Just look at how easy the cut-and-paste box office reports I used to write were!).
But 5 & 1/2 years ago I began writing a review for a much buzzed-about indie horror flick. I began writing the evening after I saw the film (probably while high) but stopped short due to the fact that the release date had been pushed back several months. Anyone who knows the fate of this movie knows what happened next, where the release kept getting pushed, then owing the distributor, then looking like it would never come out at all.
(Fun fact, this prompted one of my best moments over at Movieline when Amber Heard came out as gay, I immediately quipped "Oh sure, she comes out yet All The Boys Love Mandy Lane still hasn't!" one of my prouder quick thinking jokes, but I digress).
Anyhow, I'm looking at the schedule of new releases this weekend and happen upon a certain movie that is FINALLY getting a release! I have vague recollections of the flick, but I dug deep into the archives and found my review, which I would greatly like to share with all of you now. The review hasn't been touched since October 26th, 2010, but was created on February 27th, 2008, just to give you an idea of how long it's been. (I even remember talking with a friend on my way to the screening, and she was telling me how she had just seen a rough cut of Benjamin Button because she had to start making the trailer!)
Aside from this intro, which is considerably longer than the review itself, it is as I wrote it, which is why it will end so abruptly.
I will say this much about the flick in hindsight. I seem to recall the hype surrounding the film being a bit overblown, but I do recall that I thought it was decently directed by Jonathan Levine and that Amber Heard was both gorgeous and was gonna be huge, and I think I've been proven correct on both fronts. As the myth of this film grew (because nobody saw it) so did everybody's opinion of it. It didn't redefine any genres, it was just a nicely done story told well with competence. And looking back at my records, I see that I had seen Diary of the Dead a few weeks prior, which might also explain my higher opinion of the flick.
Again, I digress...
So without further padding out of an imaginary word count, here is The Dude's official review of All The Boys Love Mandy Lane:
****************************
 |
| The best is the foreign bit at the bottom! |
All The Boys Love Mandy Lane might very well be the greatest After School Special imaginable. It warns teens of the dangers of excessive drinking, pot smoking, and premarital sex. And those dangers are gruesome deaths exacted by a psychopath who may or may not, as the title suggests, love Mandy Lane.
Mandy Lane (Amber Heard) seems to be the most popular girl in school. Mostly because she's developed into a hottie. But she still retains that bit of cool that she had before she developed, much to the chagrin of said all boys. The movie begins with a party Mandy is suddenly invited to, while her best friend Duckie, I mean Emmit, loves her from afar. Then Emmit convinces Dylan, some blond preppy asshole, to do something crazy for the attention of Ms. Lane. This ends badly.
Cut to the end of junior year, and Mandy is invited up to a secluded ranch for a weekend of debauchery with what seems the perfect cross check of high school cliches. (The jerk, the jealous hot chick, the less hot slut who feels the need to put out, the football player, and the stoner). As the title suggests, all the boys want to get with Ms. Lane, and as I previously mentioned, all these folks may or may not meet a tragic ending.
I enjoyed All The Boys Love Mandy Lane. It's far from a perfect film, but with regards to other films of this ilk, it's pretty damn good. The characters didn't annoy me as much as they have in recent horror films (*cough DIARYOFTHEDEAD cough*), and the actors are fair to decent. The best, naturally, is Mandy Lane herself, Amber Heard. She proves that, like her character, there's more going on inside then the pretty (damn hot) exterior would lead you to believe.
