Yeah, so I checked out that Sherlock Holmes movie. The short version is I was entertained, but mostly because of the awesome chemistry between Downey and Law. They do great work, the movie lets them down. But it wasn't nearly as dumb as it could have been.
Still, you know you're in trouble when in the cannon of Holmes literature and films at your disposal, the one this most closely resembles is Young Sherlock Holmes.
(Fun fact of 6 degrees: Guy Ritchie, director of Sherlock Holmes and Lock Stock and 2 Smoking Barrels, cast Young Sherlock Holmes in Lock Stock, and I was so excited because I never saw that actor again until his movie. Watson, sadly, no clue...)
Also because it kicks ass, here's that Iron Man 2 trailer, which constantly melts my face off. May can't come soon enough....
Cheers to the good folk at /film for finding this one.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Box Office Report: Holiday Bonanza!!!
Dude here again. We've reached our final box office report for the year! It really has been a year of lunacy, and it's also been a year of record breaking, with ticket sales in excess of TEN BILLION DOLLARS! sadly, a large chunk of that came from the transforming robot picture. Regardless, it's still ten billion dollars and counting, with only four more days left in the year.
Still, ten billion dollars and they can't give me my $20 back for Terminator Salvation and Boondock Saints 2? C'mon!
This weekend, a close race to claim the number one spot in the beginning, but big blue prevails, as more records are broken. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
1. Avatar (Fox) $75.0, 3456 screens, week 2, $212.2 total
2. Sherlock Holmes (WB) - $65.3, 3626 screens, week 1, $65.3 total
3. Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (Fox) - $50.2, 3700 screens, week 1 $77.0 total (Wed Open)
4. It's Complicated (Uni)- $22.1, 2887 screens, week 1, $22.1 total
5. Up In The Air (Par)- $11.7, 1895 screens, week 4, $24.5 total
6. The Blind Side (WB) - $11.7, 2766 screens, week 6, $184.3 total
7. The Princess and the Frog (BV)- $8.6, 3475 screens, week 5, $63.3 total
8. Nine (Wein)- $5.5, 1412 screens, week 2, $5.9 total
9. Invictus (WB) - $4.3, 2160 screens, week 3, $23.3 total
10. The Twilight Saga: New Moon (Sum)- $3.0, 1593 screens, week 6, $280.9 total
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that Sherlock Holmes new nemesis is of Na'Vi descent. Despite breaking the record for money taken in on Xmas day, Sherlock Holmes was unable to derail the Avatar juggernaut in the long run, a feat a lot of people did not see coming. Still, a $62 million opening is not to shabby, and given the lack of anything opening next week and a full week of opening on full throttle as if it were a summer release, it will be just fine.
(Not for nothing, but if you want a good Sherlock Holmes movie, do yourself a favor and put "Without a Clue" in your Netflix queue. It's got Michael Caine, and Ben Kingsley, and the whole premise is that Holmes is an idiot actor played by Caine to bring life to fictional Holmes, a creation of Dr. Watson who is the true brains behind everything. It's good fun).
How about Avatar, though? Retaining the number 1 spot and dropping only 2.6% of last week's take! The holiday time helped, and factor in the exorbitant costs of IMAX and 3-D ticket prices in raising that figure a bit, but that's an insane lack of drop for a blockbuster of this size. With an insane amount of Oscar buzz going, it seems that Cameron can do no wrong. Hopefully the success of this will not cause another twelve year hiatus.
Alvin and The Chipmunks: The Squeakquel. Just writing it out depresses me. Writing out how much money it made depresses me even more. It's on par with the original's earnings, which means in Xmas 2011 we're going to have a terrible rodent-pun of the word "Trilogy" bestowing our cinemas. I hope you're proud.
There are far too many It's Complicated jokes to be made, so I'm going to leave that to far snarkier writers than I, and congratulate Meryl Streep on another spectacular year of acting. I mean that genuinely, I'll see anything she does.
Blind Side and Up In The Air are neck and neck as well, but I sincerely doubt that's the box office call too close to tell that anyone wanted or cared about. Regardless, you should still check out Up In The Air. Great movie.
The combined fgrosses of all the blockbusters might be enough to push this weekend into the record books as the most profitable weekend of all time, besting the record set by Dark Knight and Mamma Mia upon their release in July of 2008. Also worth noting: in the estimates for the day, they didn't even bother posting the take for Did You Hear About The Morgans. Hopefully one will be hearing from them shortly, but if they are gone will anyone know they were here in the first place? Kinda makes you think, huh?
Below the radar, the final movie of Heath Ledger (The Terry Gilliam one, not the one with the bat man), The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus, opened up on 4 screens, and took in $130,000, which is the highest per screen average of the week! Take that, Avatar! Watch for it to expand, in the hopes of generating a fraction of Dark Knight dollars.
There you have my amazing break down. Next week, begins the new year, and to celebrate no new movies are being released. So watch for not much to change on this list. Take that as a relief or a warning.
Until next year.......
Still, ten billion dollars and they can't give me my $20 back for Terminator Salvation and Boondock Saints 2? C'mon!
This weekend, a close race to claim the number one spot in the beginning, but big blue prevails, as more records are broken. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
1. Avatar (Fox) $75.0, 3456 screens, week 2, $212.2 total
2. Sherlock Holmes (WB) - $65.3, 3626 screens, week 1, $65.3 total
3. Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (Fox) - $50.2, 3700 screens, week 1 $77.0 total (Wed Open)
4. It's Complicated (Uni)- $22.1, 2887 screens, week 1, $22.1 total
5. Up In The Air (Par)- $11.7, 1895 screens, week 4, $24.5 total
6. The Blind Side (WB) - $11.7, 2766 screens, week 6, $184.3 total
7. The Princess and the Frog (BV)- $8.6, 3475 screens, week 5, $63.3 total
8. Nine (Wein)- $5.5, 1412 screens, week 2, $5.9 total
9. Invictus (WB) - $4.3, 2160 screens, week 3, $23.3 total
10. The Twilight Saga: New Moon (Sum)- $3.0, 1593 screens, week 6, $280.9 total
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that Sherlock Holmes new nemesis is of Na'Vi descent. Despite breaking the record for money taken in on Xmas day, Sherlock Holmes was unable to derail the Avatar juggernaut in the long run, a feat a lot of people did not see coming. Still, a $62 million opening is not to shabby, and given the lack of anything opening next week and a full week of opening on full throttle as if it were a summer release, it will be just fine.
(Not for nothing, but if you want a good Sherlock Holmes movie, do yourself a favor and put "Without a Clue" in your Netflix queue. It's got Michael Caine, and Ben Kingsley, and the whole premise is that Holmes is an idiot actor played by Caine to bring life to fictional Holmes, a creation of Dr. Watson who is the true brains behind everything. It's good fun).
How about Avatar, though? Retaining the number 1 spot and dropping only 2.6% of last week's take! The holiday time helped, and factor in the exorbitant costs of IMAX and 3-D ticket prices in raising that figure a bit, but that's an insane lack of drop for a blockbuster of this size. With an insane amount of Oscar buzz going, it seems that Cameron can do no wrong. Hopefully the success of this will not cause another twelve year hiatus.
Alvin and The Chipmunks: The Squeakquel. Just writing it out depresses me. Writing out how much money it made depresses me even more. It's on par with the original's earnings, which means in Xmas 2011 we're going to have a terrible rodent-pun of the word "Trilogy" bestowing our cinemas. I hope you're proud.
There are far too many It's Complicated jokes to be made, so I'm going to leave that to far snarkier writers than I, and congratulate Meryl Streep on another spectacular year of acting. I mean that genuinely, I'll see anything she does.
Blind Side and Up In The Air are neck and neck as well, but I sincerely doubt that's the box office call too close to tell that anyone wanted or cared about. Regardless, you should still check out Up In The Air. Great movie.
The combined fgrosses of all the blockbusters might be enough to push this weekend into the record books as the most profitable weekend of all time, besting the record set by Dark Knight and Mamma Mia upon their release in July of 2008. Also worth noting: in the estimates for the day, they didn't even bother posting the take for Did You Hear About The Morgans. Hopefully one will be hearing from them shortly, but if they are gone will anyone know they were here in the first place? Kinda makes you think, huh?
Below the radar, the final movie of Heath Ledger (The Terry Gilliam one, not the one with the bat man), The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus, opened up on 4 screens, and took in $130,000, which is the highest per screen average of the week! Take that, Avatar! Watch for it to expand, in the hopes of generating a fraction of Dark Knight dollars.
There you have my amazing break down. Next week, begins the new year, and to celebrate no new movies are being released. So watch for not much to change on this list. Take that as a relief or a warning.
Until next year.......
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Box Office Report: Big Blue Edition
Dude here again. Only two more box office reports left for 2009, can you believe it? What a crazy year it's been, from the Mall Cop to the New Moon, and everything in between. It certainly has been a roller coaster ride, full of terrible movies making far too much money, while more deserving films got swept under the rug. It's all part of this ridiculous game that gets played out every week. A game which I bet on every week in Vegas, hoping to make a fraction of the Transformers 2 gross.
To date, I haven't made a dime, mostly because I insisted on betting obscene amounts on movies like Ninja Assassin.
This weekend, James Cameron came around to change everyone's game. Did he succeed? Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
1. Avatar (Fox) $73.0, 3452 screens, week 1, $73.0 total
2. The Princess and the Frog (BV)- $12.2, 3475 screens, week 4, $44.7 total
3. The Blind Side (WB) - $10.0, 3407 screens, week 5, $164.7 total
4. Did You Hear About The Morgans? (Sony) - $7.0, 2718 screens, week 1, $7.0 total
5. The Twilight Saga: New Moon (Sum)- $4.3, 3035 screens, week 5, $274.5 total
6. Invictus (WB) - $4.1, 2125 screens, week 2, $15.8 total
7. A Christmas Carol (BV) - $3.4, 2070 screens, week 7, $130.7 total
8. Up In The Air (Par)- $3.1, 175 screens, week 3, $8.1 total
9. Brothers (LGF) - $2.6, 2009 screens, week 3, $22.0 total
10. Old Dogs (BV)- $2.2, 2630 screens, week 4, $43.5 total
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that James Cameron (and thousands of bloggers across the world reporting on this) can continue with the mantle of "King of the World". Avatar, the wildly hyped sci-fi 3-D immersion film set a record for Cameron's highest opening weekend, and ensured that Fox will make back the copious amounts of money it spent making and selling the Na'Vi to the human masses. The inflated ticket prices for 3-D and IMAX probably helped a bit too.
Did you hear about the Morgans? That's okay, apparently nobody else did either.
Blind Side, there is just no stopping you is there? Week 5, and you're increasing screens, despite stiff counter-programming of 9 foot tall blue creatures in a 3-D environment? That's ballsy, and exactly the kind of thing that makes this box office game so dang interesting.
And making it's first appearance in the top ten is Up In The Air, pulling in an impressive $3 million while only playing on 175 screens! Watch it to take more when it's released wide on Wednesday.
Below the radar, the final movie of the year with the word "Nine" in the title was released. After Cloud 9, District 9, and 9, we're treated to a musical based on 8 and 1/2, which wisely rounded it up to Nine. On 4 screens, it took in $247,000, taking in the highest per screen average of all, including Big Blue. Other Oscar hopefuls released limited this week are The Young Victoria, which I'm assuming deals with England in fancy dress time, taking in $148,000 on 20 screens, and Crazy Heart, featuring Jeff "The Dude" Bridges, also opening on 4 screens, but only taking in $84,200.
There you have my amazing break down. Next week, we have a new Chipmunks sequel!!!! And Sherlock Holmes played by Iron Man! And we get to see if Avatar is a fluke or has a chance of coming within spitting distance of Titanic's records. (Which it won't).
Until next weekend.......
To date, I haven't made a dime, mostly because I insisted on betting obscene amounts on movies like Ninja Assassin.
This weekend, James Cameron came around to change everyone's game. Did he succeed? Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
1. Avatar (Fox) $73.0, 3452 screens, week 1, $73.0 total
2. The Princess and the Frog (BV)- $12.2, 3475 screens, week 4, $44.7 total
3. The Blind Side (WB) - $10.0, 3407 screens, week 5, $164.7 total
4. Did You Hear About The Morgans? (Sony) - $7.0, 2718 screens, week 1, $7.0 total
5. The Twilight Saga: New Moon (Sum)- $4.3, 3035 screens, week 5, $274.5 total
6. Invictus (WB) - $4.1, 2125 screens, week 2, $15.8 total
7. A Christmas Carol (BV) - $3.4, 2070 screens, week 7, $130.7 total
8. Up In The Air (Par)- $3.1, 175 screens, week 3, $8.1 total
9. Brothers (LGF) - $2.6, 2009 screens, week 3, $22.0 total
10. Old Dogs (BV)- $2.2, 2630 screens, week 4, $43.5 total
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that James Cameron (and thousands of bloggers across the world reporting on this) can continue with the mantle of "King of the World". Avatar, the wildly hyped sci-fi 3-D immersion film set a record for Cameron's highest opening weekend, and ensured that Fox will make back the copious amounts of money it spent making and selling the Na'Vi to the human masses. The inflated ticket prices for 3-D and IMAX probably helped a bit too.
Did you hear about the Morgans? That's okay, apparently nobody else did either.
Blind Side, there is just no stopping you is there? Week 5, and you're increasing screens, despite stiff counter-programming of 9 foot tall blue creatures in a 3-D environment? That's ballsy, and exactly the kind of thing that makes this box office game so dang interesting.
And making it's first appearance in the top ten is Up In The Air, pulling in an impressive $3 million while only playing on 175 screens! Watch it to take more when it's released wide on Wednesday.
Below the radar, the final movie of the year with the word "Nine" in the title was released. After Cloud 9, District 9, and 9, we're treated to a musical based on 8 and 1/2, which wisely rounded it up to Nine. On 4 screens, it took in $247,000, taking in the highest per screen average of all, including Big Blue. Other Oscar hopefuls released limited this week are The Young Victoria, which I'm assuming deals with England in fancy dress time, taking in $148,000 on 20 screens, and Crazy Heart, featuring Jeff "The Dude" Bridges, also opening on 4 screens, but only taking in $84,200.
There you have my amazing break down. Next week, we have a new Chipmunks sequel!!!! And Sherlock Holmes played by Iron Man! And we get to see if Avatar is a fluke or has a chance of coming within spitting distance of Titanic's records. (Which it won't).
Until next weekend.......
Friday, December 18, 2009
Reviews are back! Big Blue and Oscar Gold? (Too Tired to think of proper pun)
I went all nerdy and checked out the 3-D IMAX showing of Avatar last night. It's pretty freakin awesome. I mean this in a positive way, but it's like watching a really great version of The Phantom Menace. Check out my AVATAR review.
I also have a review for Up In The Air, which I saw several weeks ago, but spaced on writing the review. It's a great film, and one I think everyone and their mothers should see.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Finally getting on top of things, technologically speaking.
And I got myself an IMDB page. I'm working on bulking that up a bit. Don't know if I can find a way to put that Fantastic Mr. Anderson thing up there, but they don't have "Internet Video Interviews" sections on the IMDB.
Buncha jerks.
Speaking of jerks, if I got a Twitter account, would you lose respect for me?
Buncha jerks.
Speaking of jerks, if I got a Twitter account, would you lose respect for me?
Box Office Report: Really late, sorry
Dude here again. Long day of air travel yesterday, apologies, but this is a truncated report. Mostly because it's old news by this point, but that's what I get for pretending to live my life like I'm in a George Clooney movie. Next week I intend to gather my friends to rob a casino!
(I'm not really doing that)
This weekend, The Blind Side slows down a little, Twilight slows down a lot, and other things happen too. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
1. The Princess and the Frog (BV)- $24.2, 3434 screens, week 3, $27.0 total
2. The Blind Side (WB) - $15.0, 3388 screens, week 4, $149.8 total
3. Invictus (WB) - $8.6, 2125 screens, week 1, $8.6 total
4. The Twilight Saga: New Moon (Sum)- $7.9, 3635 screens, week 4, $267.3 total
5. A Christmas Carol (BV) - $6.8, 2402 screens, week 6, $124.4 total
6. Brothers (LGF) - $5.0, 2088 screens, week 2, $17.4 total
7. Old Dogs (BV)- $4.4, 3090 screens, week 3, $39.9 total
8. 2012 (Sony) - $4.3, 1838 screens, week 5, $155.2 total
9. Armored (ScrGms)- $3.5, 1919 screens, week 2, $11.7 total
10. Ninja Assassin (WB) $2.7, 2100 screens, week 3, $34.3 total
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that Disney can claim they still make animated movies alright. No matter how racially insensitive the ads mislead you to believe.
Invcitus opened and showed that audiences don't care for rugby as much as they do North American football, even if Matt Damon is the one playing the rugby and Nelson Mandela is approving.
Everything else just remains in a holding pattern until the big holiday blockbusters come, so enjoy Ninja Assassin and Fantastic Mr. Fox while you still can, because they're gonna need to make room for Alvin and the Chipmunks 2 soon. Listen carefully to the winds for the loud sigh I'm going to bestow upon you.
Below the radar, some Oscar contenders opened in limited release. A Single Man opened up on 9 screens to take in $217,332, and The Lovely Bones opened on 3 screens and took in $116,616. If you just hear the titles of those movies, it sounds pornographic. Look for the inevitable XXX parodies shortly.
There you have my amazing break down. Next week a new movie from that guy who made the movie about the boat that sank.
Until next weekend.......
(I'm not really doing that)
This weekend, The Blind Side slows down a little, Twilight slows down a lot, and other things happen too. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
1. The Princess and the Frog (BV)- $24.2, 3434 screens, week 3, $27.0 total
2. The Blind Side (WB) - $15.0, 3388 screens, week 4, $149.8 total
3. Invictus (WB) - $8.6, 2125 screens, week 1, $8.6 total
4. The Twilight Saga: New Moon (Sum)- $7.9, 3635 screens, week 4, $267.3 total
5. A Christmas Carol (BV) - $6.8, 2402 screens, week 6, $124.4 total
6. Brothers (LGF) - $5.0, 2088 screens, week 2, $17.4 total
7. Old Dogs (BV)- $4.4, 3090 screens, week 3, $39.9 total
8. 2012 (Sony) - $4.3, 1838 screens, week 5, $155.2 total
9. Armored (ScrGms)- $3.5, 1919 screens, week 2, $11.7 total
10. Ninja Assassin (WB) $2.7, 2100 screens, week 3, $34.3 total
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that Disney can claim they still make animated movies alright. No matter how racially insensitive the ads mislead you to believe.
Invcitus opened and showed that audiences don't care for rugby as much as they do North American football, even if Matt Damon is the one playing the rugby and Nelson Mandela is approving.
Everything else just remains in a holding pattern until the big holiday blockbusters come, so enjoy Ninja Assassin and Fantastic Mr. Fox while you still can, because they're gonna need to make room for Alvin and the Chipmunks 2 soon. Listen carefully to the winds for the loud sigh I'm going to bestow upon you.
Below the radar, some Oscar contenders opened in limited release. A Single Man opened up on 9 screens to take in $217,332, and The Lovely Bones opened on 3 screens and took in $116,616. If you just hear the titles of those movies, it sounds pornographic. Look for the inevitable XXX parodies shortly.
There you have my amazing break down. Next week a new movie from that guy who made the movie about the boat that sank.
Until next weekend.......
Monday, December 07, 2009
Box Office Report: Deja vu, kinda
Dude here again. I'm coming at you after a weekend filled with a little less movie viewing and a little more holiday shopping, alongside some brunch. Not to go on a rant here, but brunch is a pretty awesome creation. Mostly because I can get away with eating a sandwich in the morning that doesn't contain eggs, but does contain bacon! That right there is a reason for celebrating across the world and hailing brunch for all the glories contained within.
Unless you're a vegetarian, in which case you're boned, but hey, more bacon for me!
This weekend, a little switcharoo between the top two gorillas, while some smaller films try to make waves. Oh, and a record is broken! Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
1. The Blind Side (WB) - $20.4, 3326 screens, week 3, $129.2 total
2. The Twilight Saga: New Moon (Sum)- $15.7, 4124 screens, week 3, $255.6 total
3. Brothers (LGF) - $9.7, 2088 screens, week 1, $9.7 total
4. A Christmas Carol (BV) - $7.5, 2546 screens, week 5, $115.0 total
5. Old Dogs (BV)- $6.9, 3425 screens, week 2, $33.9 total
6. Armored (ScrGms)- $6.6, 1915 screens, week 1, $6.6 total
7. 2012 (Sony) - $6.6, 3220 screens, week 4, $148.7 total
8. Ninja Assassin (WB) $5.0, 2503 screens, week 2, $29.7 total
9. Planet 51 (Sony)- $4.3, 2904 screens, week 3, $33.9 total
10. Everybody's Fine (Mir) - $4.0, 2133 screens, week 1, $4.0 total
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that once again The Blind Side and Twilight: New Moon continue their struggle for dominance (and relevance) and retain the top two spots. Only this time they made far less, which means hysteria is dying down and we have a nice calm before the storm of nerds strike back in an attempt to have Avatar make New Moon numbers. Which it probably won't.
For those of you who wanted to see Spiderman square off against Donnie Darko while Natalie Portman watches on, Brothers is the movie for you, and it opened up to $9 million. Impressive for a movie that isn't based on audiences confusing the two actors with each other.
Armored impressed nobody this weekend. This puts a damper on all other heist flicks that don't involve 11 people and an ocean.
We've let Old Dogs make $33 million. You've also let Boondock Saints 2 make almost $7 million. And then we watch Ninja Assassin slowly wither away and die on the branch. Words can not convey...
Below the radar, Up In The Air, quite possibly the best movie this year, opened up on 15 screens, and took in $1.1 million. This will expand in the upcoming weeks, and I highly recommend it. It's a film both timely and timeless. And I promised you a record being broken, so here it is: Transylmania, a film that tried to capitalize on the vampire trend of late, took in $274,000 on 1007 screens. Which means it's the worst opening weekend of a movie released on more than 1000 screens! See kids? Sometimes not trying is a way to win recognition and awards, too!
There you have my amazing break down. Next week a 2-D animated Disney movie opens up wide, a new Clint Eastwood movie will try to wring our hearts and win awards, a few more limited openings of much anticipated award worthy flicks, and one more week of heavy nerd fanboy breathing!
Until next weekend.......
Unless you're a vegetarian, in which case you're boned, but hey, more bacon for me!
This weekend, a little switcharoo between the top two gorillas, while some smaller films try to make waves. Oh, and a record is broken! Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
1. The Blind Side (WB) - $20.4, 3326 screens, week 3, $129.2 total
2. The Twilight Saga: New Moon (Sum)- $15.7, 4124 screens, week 3, $255.6 total
3. Brothers (LGF) - $9.7, 2088 screens, week 1, $9.7 total
4. A Christmas Carol (BV) - $7.5, 2546 screens, week 5, $115.0 total
5. Old Dogs (BV)- $6.9, 3425 screens, week 2, $33.9 total
6. Armored (ScrGms)- $6.6, 1915 screens, week 1, $6.6 total
7. 2012 (Sony) - $6.6, 3220 screens, week 4, $148.7 total
8. Ninja Assassin (WB) $5.0, 2503 screens, week 2, $29.7 total
9. Planet 51 (Sony)- $4.3, 2904 screens, week 3, $33.9 total
10. Everybody's Fine (Mir) - $4.0, 2133 screens, week 1, $4.0 total
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that once again The Blind Side and Twilight: New Moon continue their struggle for dominance (and relevance) and retain the top two spots. Only this time they made far less, which means hysteria is dying down and we have a nice calm before the storm of nerds strike back in an attempt to have Avatar make New Moon numbers. Which it probably won't.
For those of you who wanted to see Spiderman square off against Donnie Darko while Natalie Portman watches on, Brothers is the movie for you, and it opened up to $9 million. Impressive for a movie that isn't based on audiences confusing the two actors with each other.
Armored impressed nobody this weekend. This puts a damper on all other heist flicks that don't involve 11 people and an ocean.
We've let Old Dogs make $33 million. You've also let Boondock Saints 2 make almost $7 million. And then we watch Ninja Assassin slowly wither away and die on the branch. Words can not convey...
Below the radar, Up In The Air, quite possibly the best movie this year, opened up on 15 screens, and took in $1.1 million. This will expand in the upcoming weeks, and I highly recommend it. It's a film both timely and timeless. And I promised you a record being broken, so here it is: Transylmania, a film that tried to capitalize on the vampire trend of late, took in $274,000 on 1007 screens. Which means it's the worst opening weekend of a movie released on more than 1000 screens! See kids? Sometimes not trying is a way to win recognition and awards, too!
There you have my amazing break down. Next week a 2-D animated Disney movie opens up wide, a new Clint Eastwood movie will try to wring our hearts and win awards, a few more limited openings of much anticipated award worthy flicks, and one more week of heavy nerd fanboy breathing!
Until next weekend.......
Saturday, December 05, 2009
Brian, the other roommate, is also an actor.
Brian, aka B-Spaz (to those in the hardcore community), hasn't had as much impact on the blog as Dan. For this I apologize, because the guy is even more chock full o' nuggets than Dan is. Although he appeared in this crazy foreign languaged commercial:
Anyway, Brian has passed along this message. He's been selected as one of 25 audition finalists to become a new cast member of an already established webisode series called "Showbizzle" for it's second season. Voting will end on December 10th, so he's kindly asked to visit the site and cast your vote for his video "I'm not an actor." (You may have to register, I'm not too sure yet)
http://showbizzle.com/announcement/2009-12-04/vote-for-audition-finalists-now
Do the man a favor and cast a vote his way, because the more work he gets, the more he can cover me when my unemployment checks stop coming.
And speaking of me, why not watch that video I did with Jason Schwartzman as Wes Anderson again? Now in the YouTube format. (For any HD viewers out there, I believe this satisfies urges.)
I promise I'll stop pimping it out soon, and start working on the next thing, of which I have no idea how I can top it. Any suggestions? Preferably ones that don't involve stop motion.
Anyway, Brian has passed along this message. He's been selected as one of 25 audition finalists to become a new cast member of an already established webisode series called "Showbizzle" for it's second season. Voting will end on December 10th, so he's kindly asked to visit the site and cast your vote for his video "I'm not an actor." (You may have to register, I'm not too sure yet)
http://showbizzle.com/announcement/2009-12-04/vote-for-audition-finalists-now
Do the man a favor and cast a vote his way, because the more work he gets, the more he can cover me when my unemployment checks stop coming.
And speaking of me, why not watch that video I did with Jason Schwartzman as Wes Anderson again? Now in the YouTube format. (For any HD viewers out there, I believe this satisfies urges.)
I promise I'll stop pimping it out soon, and start working on the next thing, of which I have no idea how I can top it. Any suggestions? Preferably ones that don't involve stop motion.
Friday, December 04, 2009
Remember that story about the meth?
The one that involved me transporting this bag:
This was the movie it was for:
(Trailer is not safe for working or youngster environment. Unless you have headphones, in which case, go buckwild)
Capital picture, Jim!
This was the movie it was for:
(Trailer is not safe for working or youngster environment. Unless you have headphones, in which case, go buckwild)
Capital picture, Jim!
Tuesday, December 01, 2009
Freakin Adorable Kitten Thing!
What? Not everything has to be about my shameless self promotion.
How flipping cute is that?
Fuck you for judging me.
How flipping cute is that?
Fuck you for judging me.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Another cool stop motion video!
Hey, check this out. This was done by Andy Holton, who was one of the instrumental folks in turning the Fantastic Mr. Anderson from a crazy idea in my mind into a reality. Here, he's done an awesome stop motion for a skateboard. Check it out!
The kind of infectious that's good to spread! UPDATED!!
The awesome folk over at /Film have given love to my Fantastic Mr. Anderson interview!!!
(They just made the links section!)
If you're a fan of the short, feel free to post the link to the moviesonline.ca page on your Facebooks or Twitters and Diggs and stuff. I don't know how to work this wacky interwebz contraption, but this is a wave I can ride for at least a few days. With enough drawing out, I think this thing can be flavor of the week!
Well maybe not.
But still, it's fun to dream. Thanks for the good words and support!
Oh, and while you're at it, feel free to check out my Ninja Assassin review! It was a great screening, and though you weren't all there in person, you were there in spirit alongside me!
UPDATED: The "Movieline Buzz Break", and Drew "Moriarty" McWeeney over at his HitFix Morning Read have also been awesome and featured the interview as well! Many thanks! Check out their sites as well! Spread the love like peanut butter!
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Box Office Report: Giving Thanks
Dude here again. Coming to you with at the tail end of an over-stuffed holiday weekend. I had a glorious holiday and celebratory weekend, that was full of food and laughs and good times and movies. Movies that included vampires and werewolves and footballs and old dogs. And a ninja. That was an assassin.
Which would make him a Ninja Assassin!
This weekend, a lot of things remained in the same place, while some newcomers tried to sit at the big kids' table. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
1. The Twilight Saga: New Moon (Sum)- $42.5, 4042 screens, week 2, $230.6 total
2. The Blind Side (WB) - $40.1, 3140 screens, week 2, $100.2 total
3. 2012 (Sony) - $18.0, 3444 screens, week 3, $138.7 total
4. Old Dogs (BV)- $16.8, 3425 screens, week 1, $24.0 total
5. A Christmas Carol (BV) - $16.0, 3013 screens, week 4, $105.3 total
6. Ninja Assassin (WB) $13.1, 2503 screens, week 1, $21.0 total
7. Planet 51 (Sony)- $10.2, 3035 screens, week 2, $28.4 total
8. Precious... (LGF) - $7.09, 663 screens, week 4, $32.4 total
9. Fantastic Mr. Fox (Fox)- $7.02, 2033 screens, week 3, $10.1 total
10. The Men Who Stare At Goats (Over) - $1.5, 1119 screens, week 4, $30.5 total
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that Twilight surpassed it's original take, and took in even more money! Although, it should be noted that hot on its' heels is The blind Side, which sort of came out of nowhere to become a smash hit, and even took in more on Thanksgiving day than Twilight! From Mall Cop to Taken to Hangover to District 9 to Blind Side, it's been a crazy year for movies that you never would think could make the amounts of money they did.
Old Dogs, a movie that boasts a final Bernie Mac appearance AND quite possibly the worst reviews of the year (the most venomous, at least) managed to pull in $24 million in five days. This brings me back to that angry place I was telling you about a few weeks ago.
Ninja Assassin opened up decently for a ninja movie, against the other movies, but seriously, people, couldn't we have scrounged some change up and given more to the cause of ninja movies? Because if one does well, that means we get more, and we need more ninja movies than vampire movies these days.
Fantastic Mr. Fox made it's way up the charts in wider release, and did alright. If you haven't already, check out this AWESOME INTERVIEW I did with Wes Anderson promoting the film!
Below the radar, The Weinstein Company finally saw fit to release The Road on 111 screens. The post-apocalyptic downer took in just over $2 million over the five day holiday period. Also opening, on evening fewer screens, and boasting the largest per screen average of the week is the new 2D Disney animated Princess and the Frog, which took in $1.1 million on 2 screens in 5 days. Good to know Disney still owns the market on the exclusive animated release.
There you have my amazing break down. Next week things slow down as we make it towards the end of the year, as more Oscar bait and limited releases come up, and fanboys' hearts palpitate for Avatar.
Until next weekend.......
Which would make him a Ninja Assassin!
This weekend, a lot of things remained in the same place, while some newcomers tried to sit at the big kids' table. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
1. The Twilight Saga: New Moon (Sum)- $42.5, 4042 screens, week 2, $230.6 total
2. The Blind Side (WB) - $40.1, 3140 screens, week 2, $100.2 total
3. 2012 (Sony) - $18.0, 3444 screens, week 3, $138.7 total
4. Old Dogs (BV)- $16.8, 3425 screens, week 1, $24.0 total
5. A Christmas Carol (BV) - $16.0, 3013 screens, week 4, $105.3 total
6. Ninja Assassin (WB) $13.1, 2503 screens, week 1, $21.0 total
7. Planet 51 (Sony)- $10.2, 3035 screens, week 2, $28.4 total
8. Precious... (LGF) - $7.09, 663 screens, week 4, $32.4 total
9. Fantastic Mr. Fox (Fox)- $7.02, 2033 screens, week 3, $10.1 total
10. The Men Who Stare At Goats (Over) - $1.5, 1119 screens, week 4, $30.5 total
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that Twilight surpassed it's original take, and took in even more money! Although, it should be noted that hot on its' heels is The blind Side, which sort of came out of nowhere to become a smash hit, and even took in more on Thanksgiving day than Twilight! From Mall Cop to Taken to Hangover to District 9 to Blind Side, it's been a crazy year for movies that you never would think could make the amounts of money they did.
Old Dogs, a movie that boasts a final Bernie Mac appearance AND quite possibly the worst reviews of the year (the most venomous, at least) managed to pull in $24 million in five days. This brings me back to that angry place I was telling you about a few weeks ago.
Ninja Assassin opened up decently for a ninja movie, against the other movies, but seriously, people, couldn't we have scrounged some change up and given more to the cause of ninja movies? Because if one does well, that means we get more, and we need more ninja movies than vampire movies these days.
Fantastic Mr. Fox made it's way up the charts in wider release, and did alright. If you haven't already, check out this AWESOME INTERVIEW I did with Wes Anderson promoting the film!
Below the radar, The Weinstein Company finally saw fit to release The Road on 111 screens. The post-apocalyptic downer took in just over $2 million over the five day holiday period. Also opening, on evening fewer screens, and boasting the largest per screen average of the week is the new 2D Disney animated Princess and the Frog, which took in $1.1 million on 2 screens in 5 days. Good to know Disney still owns the market on the exclusive animated release.
There you have my amazing break down. Next week things slow down as we make it towards the end of the year, as more Oscar bait and limited releases come up, and fanboys' hearts palpitate for Avatar.
Until next weekend.......
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
I write stuff sometimes - UPDATED WITH MORE AWESOMENESS!!
I have a Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans review, as well as an anti-review of Twilight: New Moon. Check them out! Please!
Later this week, my amazing interview with Wes Anderson that will melt your face off!!!
Apparently the Star Trek guys are such nerds, they threw in R2D2. This made me like the movie even more.
AND...
The long awaited reunion of Dolph Lundgren and Jean Claude Van Damme has been bestowed upon us, with the release of this trailer for Universal Soldier: Regeneration!
Later this week, my amazing interview with Wes Anderson that will melt your face off!!!
Apparently the Star Trek guys are such nerds, they threw in R2D2. This made me like the movie even more.
AND...
The long awaited reunion of Dolph Lundgren and Jean Claude Van Damme has been bestowed upon us, with the release of this trailer for Universal Soldier: Regeneration!
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Box Office Report Saga: New Moon
Dude here again. Did some movie come out this weekend that makes teen girls squeal with delight much to the chagrin of those around them? Did some movie come out and break some records, thus ensuring more of these films to come?
This is the way the world ends, not with a whimper, but with a bang.
This weekend, Twilight 2: Electric Boogaloo was unleashed. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
1. The Twilight Saga: New Moon (Sum)- $140.7, 4024 screens, week 1, $140.7 total
2. The Blind Side (WB) - $34.5, 3110 screens, week 1, $34.5 total
3. 2012 (Sony) - $26.5, 3408 screens, week 2, $108.2 total
4. Planet 51 (Sony)- $12.6, 3035 screens, week 1, $12.6 total
5. A Christmas Carol (BV) - $12.3, 3578 screens, week 3, $79.7 total
6. Precious... (LGF) - $11.0, 629 screens, week 3, $21.4 total
7. The Men Who Stare At Goats (Over) - $2.7, 2056 screens, week 3, $27.6 total
8. Couples Retreat (Uni) $1.9, 1712 screens, week 7, $105.0 total
9. The Fourth Kind (Uni)- $1.7, 1648 screens, week 3, $23.3 total
10. Law Abiding Citizen (Over)- $1.6, 1327 screens, week 6, $70.0 total
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that you Twihards aren't effin' around. $140 million in 3 days? Third highest opening weekend! Biggest midnight show and opening day of all time! (Beating that Batman movie with the Brokeback actor). Most swoons and shrieks per minute in a theater of all time! (To be fair, the first Twilight held that record until now). New Moon is unstoppable, although I'm willing to bet Summit REALLY wishes Stephanie Meyer didn't stop the saga at four books. Watch for the last book to be split into 2 parts, just like Harry Potter, in an attempt to milk even more cash from obedient fans.
Did anyone see that amount of money being made for The Blind Side? Did anyone SEE The Blind Side? It's really difficult to not make a pun about being blind-sided by this revelation.
Planet 51 opened up, but probably should've gone the 3-D route, as it would have made a bit more money and not have been lost in the shuffle of things.
2012 drops steadily, but that's to be expected. After all, we were warned. Christmas Story chugs along, but it has an uphill climb as the theaters are flooded with flicks concerning teen vampires. And Precious continues to expand and depress, a surefire Oscar-bation strategy!
Below the radar, Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans, starring Nicolas Cage and an iguana, took in $257,000 on 27 screens. Why is there no "DEMAND IT" campaign for this movie, huh? Also opening was the latest from Pedro Almodovar, Broken Embraces, which opened up on 2 screens to take in $108,000 for the highest per screen average out of every movie, including the vampire one. One record not taken in the face of the juggernaut.
There you have my amazing break down. Next week we finally get a movie about a Ninja Assassin!!! Silver linings, people. Silver linings.
Until next weekend.......
This is the way the world ends, not with a whimper, but with a bang.
This weekend, Twilight 2: Electric Boogaloo was unleashed. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
1. The Twilight Saga: New Moon (Sum)- $140.7, 4024 screens, week 1, $140.7 total
2. The Blind Side (WB) - $34.5, 3110 screens, week 1, $34.5 total
3. 2012 (Sony) - $26.5, 3408 screens, week 2, $108.2 total
4. Planet 51 (Sony)- $12.6, 3035 screens, week 1, $12.6 total
5. A Christmas Carol (BV) - $12.3, 3578 screens, week 3, $79.7 total
6. Precious... (LGF) - $11.0, 629 screens, week 3, $21.4 total
7. The Men Who Stare At Goats (Over) - $2.7, 2056 screens, week 3, $27.6 total
8. Couples Retreat (Uni) $1.9, 1712 screens, week 7, $105.0 total
9. The Fourth Kind (Uni)- $1.7, 1648 screens, week 3, $23.3 total
10. Law Abiding Citizen (Over)- $1.6, 1327 screens, week 6, $70.0 total
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that you Twihards aren't effin' around. $140 million in 3 days? Third highest opening weekend! Biggest midnight show and opening day of all time! (Beating that Batman movie with the Brokeback actor). Most swoons and shrieks per minute in a theater of all time! (To be fair, the first Twilight held that record until now). New Moon is unstoppable, although I'm willing to bet Summit REALLY wishes Stephanie Meyer didn't stop the saga at four books. Watch for the last book to be split into 2 parts, just like Harry Potter, in an attempt to milk even more cash from obedient fans.
Did anyone see that amount of money being made for The Blind Side? Did anyone SEE The Blind Side? It's really difficult to not make a pun about being blind-sided by this revelation.
Planet 51 opened up, but probably should've gone the 3-D route, as it would have made a bit more money and not have been lost in the shuffle of things.
2012 drops steadily, but that's to be expected. After all, we were warned. Christmas Story chugs along, but it has an uphill climb as the theaters are flooded with flicks concerning teen vampires. And Precious continues to expand and depress, a surefire Oscar-bation strategy!
Below the radar, Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans, starring Nicolas Cage and an iguana, took in $257,000 on 27 screens. Why is there no "DEMAND IT" campaign for this movie, huh? Also opening was the latest from Pedro Almodovar, Broken Embraces, which opened up on 2 screens to take in $108,000 for the highest per screen average out of every movie, including the vampire one. One record not taken in the face of the juggernaut.
There you have my amazing break down. Next week we finally get a movie about a Ninja Assassin!!! Silver linings, people. Silver linings.
Until next weekend.......
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
Box Office Report: We Were Warned
Dude here again. I want you all to think about what you've done.
Seriously.
This weekend, Roland Emmerich was granted reprieve and will be allowed to make more movies. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
1. 2012 (Sony) - $65.0, 3404 screens, week 1, $65.0 total
2. A Christmas Carol (BV) - $22.3, 3683 screens, week 2, $63.2 total
3. The Men Who Stare At Goats (Over) - $6.2, 2453 screens, week 2, $23.3 total
4. Precious... (LGF) - $6.0, 174 screens, week 2, $8.9 total
5. Michael Jackson's This Is It (Sony)- $5.1, 3037 screens, week 3, $68.2 total
6. The Fourth Kind (Uni)- $4.7, 2530 screens, week 2, $20.5 total
7. Couples Retreat (Uni) $4.2, 2509 screens, week 6, $102.1 total
8. Paranormal Activity (Par) - $4.2, 2712 screens, week 8, $103.8 total
9. Law Abiding Citizen (Over)- $3.9, 2071 screens, week 5, $67.3 total
10. The Box (WB)- $3.1, 2635 screens, week 2, $13.2 total
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that now we get more movies "From the director of 2012", instead of "From the director of 10,000 B.C." Thanks a lot. Jerks.
Oh Precious, taking in lots of money on few screens, building Oscar buzz and depressing the living hell out of people. If only you had been directed by the man who brought us Universal Soldier.
A Christmas Carol... I'm too tired to come up with a snarky remark, so ... performance capture this!
Did Paranormal Activity AND Couples Retreat cross the $100 million mark this weekend? Is there an "un-demand this" button? Perhaps an "App", to use the parlance of our times?
Below the radar, Pirate Radio takes in just about $2 million, and Boondock Saints 2 expands and takes in over $1 million. These numbers are saddening. However, Fantastic Mr. Fox opened up on 4 screens and took in $260,000, which inspires smiles by all. Hopefully this translates well when the film expands. If there are still screens left that aren't showing Boondock Saints 2. *Shudder*
There you have my amazing break down. Next week I think some movie about vampires comes out. Twilight Something? I don't know. I hope it has Blade in it.
Until next weekend.......
Seriously.
This weekend, Roland Emmerich was granted reprieve and will be allowed to make more movies. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
1. 2012 (Sony) - $65.0, 3404 screens, week 1, $65.0 total
2. A Christmas Carol (BV) - $22.3, 3683 screens, week 2, $63.2 total
3. The Men Who Stare At Goats (Over) - $6.2, 2453 screens, week 2, $23.3 total
4. Precious... (LGF) - $6.0, 174 screens, week 2, $8.9 total
5. Michael Jackson's This Is It (Sony)- $5.1, 3037 screens, week 3, $68.2 total
6. The Fourth Kind (Uni)- $4.7, 2530 screens, week 2, $20.5 total
7. Couples Retreat (Uni) $4.2, 2509 screens, week 6, $102.1 total
8. Paranormal Activity (Par) - $4.2, 2712 screens, week 8, $103.8 total
9. Law Abiding Citizen (Over)- $3.9, 2071 screens, week 5, $67.3 total
10. The Box (WB)- $3.1, 2635 screens, week 2, $13.2 total
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that now we get more movies "From the director of 2012", instead of "From the director of 10,000 B.C." Thanks a lot. Jerks.
Oh Precious, taking in lots of money on few screens, building Oscar buzz and depressing the living hell out of people. If only you had been directed by the man who brought us Universal Soldier.
A Christmas Carol... I'm too tired to come up with a snarky remark, so ... performance capture this!
Did Paranormal Activity AND Couples Retreat cross the $100 million mark this weekend? Is there an "un-demand this" button? Perhaps an "App", to use the parlance of our times?
Below the radar, Pirate Radio takes in just about $2 million, and Boondock Saints 2 expands and takes in over $1 million. These numbers are saddening. However, Fantastic Mr. Fox opened up on 4 screens and took in $260,000, which inspires smiles by all. Hopefully this translates well when the film expands. If there are still screens left that aren't showing Boondock Saints 2. *Shudder*
There you have my amazing break down. Next week I think some movie about vampires comes out. Twilight Something? I don't know. I hope it has Blade in it.
Until next weekend.......
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Milestones, and other things for your weekend.
Earlier this week I achieved something that I hope can one day, in the annals of history, be can only be recognized as not just amazing, but also inspiring.
When I first moved out to California four and a half years ago, I signed up with a website called Sploofus, which is a weird internet time wasting quiz website. But they offer a trivia question of the day, that gets emailed to you, you click the link and have 30 seconds to answer a question that can be about anything from obscure chemical compounds and French Enlightenment artists to who played Raj on "What's Happening?"
(It's Ernest Thomas)
Since joining, I have dutifully answered every question asked of me each and every day, although sometimes when I'm on vacation, or when they have a problem on their end, I let them pile up and have a full out Trivia marathon! (Admit it, I'm the coolest person you know!) Sometimes there are internet connections that get lost, that cause me to not answer the question in the allotted time, but those are few and far between.
Anyway, this week I answered my 1000th trivia question correctly. It was a question about atomic numbers. That host of angelic choir voices you hear are the saints singing my praises.
This is how I saw myself in my mind when I answered it.
Ok, so maybe it wasn't that monumental, but I was really proud and had to share someplace that doesn't matter about a Live Feed versus a News Feed. Plus I didn't really have anything for Milestones besides the title, so I had to try to make something fit.
Something bizarre also happened this week. I was drinking at Johnny's, a bar in Eagle Rock (California, not Jersey, although there is a cool bowling alley in the California Eagle Rock as well) and I came across a man who, in the course of our conversation I learned, has the same tattoo as myself. In the same place. His is just expanded. Thank you, Steven for allowing this picture comparison.
(Mine is the one on the right).
In other news, I have a few reviews up: Pirate Radio, Fantastic Mr. Fox, and The Box. When said aloud and fast, it could pass for a nursery rhyme. Check them out if wanted to know about any of them, and spread them around the interweb like peanut butter.
(Hey, it's Phil. There are pirates here.)
The Top Secret Brady-Mike Project has been sidetracked a little, and I apologize, as I've been doing some other top secret work for the website that should begin poking it's head around the interwebs starting next week. Fear not, it shall be done, and you will know the brilliance. (But some of these things are taking longer than expected).
Speaking of brilliance, I finally managed to get a good copy of "Good Luck" online! You can see it here-
I changed a line that had always bothered me, but I think it's funny and worth checking out. Alternately, I may make a version with director's commentary, if I deem it funny enough.
And I shall leave you with a funny tale. A few weeks back, my friend Jim asks me if I can do him a favor. Jim works in the talking pictures business, and the latest movie his company is working on is a raunchy sex comedy. (Which I've seen and is far better than I thought it was going to be, and way the fuck beyond better than the final piece of shit "Pimpin Pee Wee" I worked on earlier this year).
Jim says they are doing some more shots, and could I help them out by picking up the fake semen.
"Ummm.... what?" was my reply.
"The stuff that we use to make fake semen, for the huge spooge-plosion at the end of the picture!" Jim bellowed*, cigar hanging out of his mouth and bowler hat at rakish angle.
"So, you want me to tool around town with a 55 gallon drum of jizz in my backseat?" I asked. My hat was at nowhere near as rakish an angle.
"No, no, no. It's like a pre-made mix, you pick up the mix, and they add water to it when they're ready to shoot it out of the canon", Jim boldly replied.
"Well that makes much more sense. I'll do it!"
Jim informed me that that I would pick up a one pound bag of the mix, which is just a chemical compound called Methyl Cellulose. It's already paid for, and the best part is it's a hop skip and a jump from apartment.
Let's take a moment and reflect that the movie industry is prepared for anything, so much so that they actually discovered the perfect recipe for creating fake on-screen ejaculate. And that it's ready in pre-mixed bags.
So I pull up to the supply house, and I tell them I'm picking up for the production, and the kind gentleman behind the counter hands me a clear plastic bag that has the mix. The bag, it should be noted, is marked thusly:
And there are two of these in the bag, one on each side, proclaiming the contents within.
When I got to Jim's office, I had to park a few blocks away, and walk down the street with this lovely bag. I got some weird looks, especially from the traffic nazi. That's Hollywood for ya!
Have a great weekend!
(*So, the conversation happened over Instant Messenger, but I continue to believe that Jim works in a 1930s cliche of Hollywood, despite working in the valley next to a hair salon).
Sunday, November 08, 2009
Box Office Report: Performance Captured Edition
Dude here again. Halloween is now officially over, and the Chrismanzakuh holiday season has begun! I know this because the people on my street took down their Halloween decorations and put up Christmas decorations instead. Except for one guy who always leaves the Halloween stuff up until February. I'm sure he's making some sort of political/social statement by doing this.
Or he's even lazier than I am.
This weekend, four major releases duke it out, including our first Christmas movie of the season (which makes sense because it's early November! Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
1. A Christmas Carol (BV) - $31.0, 3683 screens, week 1, $31.0 total
2. Michael Jackson's This Is It (Sony)- $14.0, 3481 screens, week 2, $57.8 total
3. The Men Who Stare At Goats (Over) - $13.3, 2443 screens, week 1, $13.3 total
4. The Fourth Kind (Uni)- $12.5, 2527 screens, week 1, $12.5 total
5. Paranormal Activity (Par) - $8.6, 2558 screens, week 7, $97.4 total
6. The Box (WB)- $7.8, 2635 screens, week 1, $7.8 total
7. Couples Retreat (Uni) $6.4, 2587 screens, week 5, $95.9 total
8. Law Abiding Citizen (Over)- $6.1, 2474 screens, week 4, $60.8 total
9. Where The Wild Things Are (WB) - $4.2, 2756 screens, week 4, $69.2 total
10. Astro Boy (Sum) - $2.5, 1918 screens, week 3, $15.0 total
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that Christmas reigns supreme, but again, not nearly as much as money counting people were probably hoping for, given the cost. Next week will be the true test of the film's strength, as it will probably play a lot of theaters until Christmas actually arrives, but this does probably put the kibosh on future Dickens' tales transformed with the magic of 3-D performance capture, which is a shame as I was looking forward to A Tale of Two Cities with Jim Carrey portraying everyone, including the two cities.
Surprising a lot of people is The Men Who Stare At Goats, a tale of goats and George Clooney, which once again proves my theory that Clooney can do no wrong, so long as he continues making interesting movies for adults. Some my say Fantastic Mr Fox, which opens next week, would prove the exception to the rule, but I say those people haven't paid attention to the amount of real estate jokes in the film.
The Fourth Kind opened up to HORRIBLE reviews, but managed to piggy-back on the Paranormal Activity phenomenon to pull in $12 million dollars. I don't know if this makes me happy or sad, but the movie does look ridiculous, which means I sort of can't wait to see it.
And poor Richard Kelly. The director of Donnie Darko and Southland Tales released his first studio effort, and while it made more than his previous films combined, it was still a disappointing first weekend for the film, losing out to the 7th week of Paranormal Activity, and the goats.
Below the radar, Precious: Based on the novel "Push" by Sapphire made $1.8 million on 18 screens, which gives it a per screen average of roughly $100,000. Outstanding work for a film that's garnered a lot of buzz for awards, even if it depresses the living hell out of the audience. (Not to mention the grief that long title must give those who change marquees for a living).
There you have my amazing break down. Next week we get another Roland Emmerich world ending spectacle! (Sadly, this one involves no wooly mammoths, but it has John Cusack outrunning global destruction in a limo! And that aforementioned Mr. Fox opens up in limited release.
Until next weekend.......
Or he's even lazier than I am.
This weekend, four major releases duke it out, including our first Christmas movie of the season (which makes sense because it's early November! Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
1. A Christmas Carol (BV) - $31.0, 3683 screens, week 1, $31.0 total
2. Michael Jackson's This Is It (Sony)- $14.0, 3481 screens, week 2, $57.8 total
3. The Men Who Stare At Goats (Over) - $13.3, 2443 screens, week 1, $13.3 total
4. The Fourth Kind (Uni)- $12.5, 2527 screens, week 1, $12.5 total
5. Paranormal Activity (Par) - $8.6, 2558 screens, week 7, $97.4 total
6. The Box (WB)- $7.8, 2635 screens, week 1, $7.8 total
7. Couples Retreat (Uni) $6.4, 2587 screens, week 5, $95.9 total
8. Law Abiding Citizen (Over)- $6.1, 2474 screens, week 4, $60.8 total
9. Where The Wild Things Are (WB) - $4.2, 2756 screens, week 4, $69.2 total
10. Astro Boy (Sum) - $2.5, 1918 screens, week 3, $15.0 total
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that Christmas reigns supreme, but again, not nearly as much as money counting people were probably hoping for, given the cost. Next week will be the true test of the film's strength, as it will probably play a lot of theaters until Christmas actually arrives, but this does probably put the kibosh on future Dickens' tales transformed with the magic of 3-D performance capture, which is a shame as I was looking forward to A Tale of Two Cities with Jim Carrey portraying everyone, including the two cities.
Surprising a lot of people is The Men Who Stare At Goats, a tale of goats and George Clooney, which once again proves my theory that Clooney can do no wrong, so long as he continues making interesting movies for adults. Some my say Fantastic Mr Fox, which opens next week, would prove the exception to the rule, but I say those people haven't paid attention to the amount of real estate jokes in the film.
The Fourth Kind opened up to HORRIBLE reviews, but managed to piggy-back on the Paranormal Activity phenomenon to pull in $12 million dollars. I don't know if this makes me happy or sad, but the movie does look ridiculous, which means I sort of can't wait to see it.
And poor Richard Kelly. The director of Donnie Darko and Southland Tales released his first studio effort, and while it made more than his previous films combined, it was still a disappointing first weekend for the film, losing out to the 7th week of Paranormal Activity, and the goats.
Below the radar, Precious: Based on the novel "Push" by Sapphire made $1.8 million on 18 screens, which gives it a per screen average of roughly $100,000. Outstanding work for a film that's garnered a lot of buzz for awards, even if it depresses the living hell out of the audience. (Not to mention the grief that long title must give those who change marquees for a living).
There you have my amazing break down. Next week we get another Roland Emmerich world ending spectacle! (Sadly, this one involves no wooly mammoths, but it has John Cusack outrunning global destruction in a limo! And that aforementioned Mr. Fox opens up in limited release.
Until next weekend.......
Sunday, November 01, 2009
This is it: Box Office Report. (Get it?)
Dude here again. I did some math, and figured out that if you add up all the money that all the top ten films have made, from the time I started doing this four years ago, it would be enough to put the entire world out of debt three times over, feed the starving, house the homeless, reverse global warming, and send every child to college.
Well, that might be exaggerating things a bit.
This weekend, a new challenger to the throne manages to succeed and disappoint, while Paranormal Activity continues to flip the bird to much more expensive fare. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
1. Michael Jackson's This Is It (Sony)- $21.3, 3481 screens, week 1, $32.5 total (Wed Open)
2. Paranormal Activity (Par) - $16.5, 2404 screens, week 6, $84.7 total
3. Law Abiding Citizen (Over)- $7.3, 2764 screens, week 3, $51.3 total
4. Couples Retreat (Uni) $6.0, 3026 screens, week 4, $86.2 total
5. Saw VI (LGF)- $5.5, 3036 screens, week 2, $22.8 total
6. Where The Wild Things Are (WB) - $5.0, 3645 screens, week 3, $61.8 total
7. The Stepfather (ScrGms) - $3.4, 2346 screens, week 3, $24.7 total
8. Astro Boy (Sum) - $3.0, 3020 screens, week 2, $10.8 total
9. Amelia (FoxS) - $3.0, 1070 screens, week 2, $8.3 total
10. Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant (Uni)- $2.8, 2754 screens, week 2, $10.5 total
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that Michael Jackson can still be a draw, but not as much as people were thinking. Opening on Wednesday to pretty much universal acclaim, the concert film event of the decade (I'm calling you out, Hannah Montana!) managed to take in $32 million in 5 days and simultaneously disappoint the money people who thought it would take in twice that. FUN FACT: This Is It makes a great double feature with What Is It?, Crispin Glover's directorial debut, but only for literal marquee value.
Oh, wow, that Michael Jackson movie was the only wide release. this is disappointing.
At this point Paranormal Activity is genuinely a phenomenon, and is almost at the threshold between popular acceptance and backlash. Now we play the guessing game of the possible directions the inevitable sequel can head in. Horrid and rushed retread? Complete series "reboot"? I vote for horribly meta film-within-the-film, where the director and the stars, and even the audiences (which are the only things I see in any of the TV ads) are suddenly plagued by demonic forces.
Take a long look at that total for Couples Retreat and Law Abiding Citizen and think about what you've done.
Below the radar, Boondock Saints II: Strictly For The Cult of Fans opened up on 68 screens and took in $462,000 on its way to achieving a secondary cult status on DVD, which would beg a third in the series because trilogies are all the rage these days. Also opening is Gentlemen Broncos, a film which only I seem to have liked, which opened up on 2 screens and took in $10,000.
There you have my amazing break down. Next week is the first week in November which means a Christmas movie is going to be released. And a mainstream film from Richard Kelly. And a movie about "real life" alien abductions that will sadly fall aside to the Paranormal Activity wave. And a movie with the word goat in the title.
Until next weekend.......
Well, that might be exaggerating things a bit.
This weekend, a new challenger to the throne manages to succeed and disappoint, while Paranormal Activity continues to flip the bird to much more expensive fare. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
1. Michael Jackson's This Is It (Sony)- $21.3, 3481 screens, week 1, $32.5 total (Wed Open)
2. Paranormal Activity (Par) - $16.5, 2404 screens, week 6, $84.7 total
3. Law Abiding Citizen (Over)- $7.3, 2764 screens, week 3, $51.3 total
4. Couples Retreat (Uni) $6.0, 3026 screens, week 4, $86.2 total
5. Saw VI (LGF)- $5.5, 3036 screens, week 2, $22.8 total
6. Where The Wild Things Are (WB) - $5.0, 3645 screens, week 3, $61.8 total
7. The Stepfather (ScrGms) - $3.4, 2346 screens, week 3, $24.7 total
8. Astro Boy (Sum) - $3.0, 3020 screens, week 2, $10.8 total
9. Amelia (FoxS) - $3.0, 1070 screens, week 2, $8.3 total
10. Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant (Uni)- $2.8, 2754 screens, week 2, $10.5 total
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that Michael Jackson can still be a draw, but not as much as people were thinking. Opening on Wednesday to pretty much universal acclaim, the concert film event of the decade (I'm calling you out, Hannah Montana!) managed to take in $32 million in 5 days and simultaneously disappoint the money people who thought it would take in twice that. FUN FACT: This Is It makes a great double feature with What Is It?, Crispin Glover's directorial debut, but only for literal marquee value.
Oh, wow, that Michael Jackson movie was the only wide release. this is disappointing.
At this point Paranormal Activity is genuinely a phenomenon, and is almost at the threshold between popular acceptance and backlash. Now we play the guessing game of the possible directions the inevitable sequel can head in. Horrid and rushed retread? Complete series "reboot"? I vote for horribly meta film-within-the-film, where the director and the stars, and even the audiences (which are the only things I see in any of the TV ads) are suddenly plagued by demonic forces.
Take a long look at that total for Couples Retreat and Law Abiding Citizen and think about what you've done.
Below the radar, Boondock Saints II: Strictly For The Cult of Fans opened up on 68 screens and took in $462,000 on its way to achieving a secondary cult status on DVD, which would beg a third in the series because trilogies are all the rage these days. Also opening is Gentlemen Broncos, a film which only I seem to have liked, which opened up on 2 screens and took in $10,000.
There you have my amazing break down. Next week is the first week in November which means a Christmas movie is going to be released. And a mainstream film from Richard Kelly. And a movie about "real life" alien abductions that will sadly fall aside to the Paranormal Activity wave. And a movie with the word goat in the title.
Until next weekend.......
Friday, October 30, 2009
FRIDAY!!! EVEN MORE REVIEWS!!!
I've been on a kick this week! A lot of reviews, and a lot of screenings of movies. (And a lot of nonsense dealing with my medical insurance, but that's neither here nor there).
Here's a Gentlemen Broncos review I wrote, and I can finally go ahead and say that I love this movie, but I'm fast realizing I'm in a minority on this one. But I don't care, I loved this movie.
And here's a Boondock Saints II review that's nowhere near as favorable.
(I didn't like the movie enough to find a picture, so instead here's what happened when I Black Dynamite-ed my Facebook profile picture. It's more entertaining than the Boondock Saints II)
The site's mainpage has had a facelift, and all the pages will soon follow, but I think it's a lot nicer. It's sleek, streamlined, not as hectic, and easier to navigate to all my brilliant writings. Soon, I'm gonna get a few video interviews up, as well as the aforementioned surprise that Brady and I are working on, which I'm still working on and will hopefully have done by the end of the weekend.
(That was more to Brady, and probably should have been included in an email, but whatever).
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
More new reviews?!?! What is this, bacon day?
I have one for Ong Bak 2 AND one for Antichrist! Check them out! Remember, they're the kind of infectious that's good to spread!
And the House of The Devil review I wrote was finally approved, too! I added it below, but you may as well check it out in this post, too!
To make matters even more awesome, I'll have two new reviews this week, as well! Finally been catching up with my reviews, and seeing far too many movies, but it's times like this that I truly embrace being the movie nerd I am. Very exciting times!
Monday, October 26, 2009
Some reviews and funny things I've written
Hola-ween, everybody!
So I came up with some pieces that they posted over at the site. One is about good Halloween double features.
The other is about how super excited I was about Saw VI, and how I treated myself to a marathon of the Saw movies.
I find them funny. Hope you do, too. And if you like these, then why not spread the word on your facebooks? I know I will.
Also, a little later today there should be a review of House Of The Devil.
This is Rob, giving a spooky tour in Newport.
And Brady and I are cooking up a surprise for all of you soon, keep your eyes peeled.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Box Office Report: Saw ___ Edition
Dude here again. I'm kind of amazed. It seems that a movie shot on a home video camera that's been out for 5 weeks and slowly expanding has taken on the Goliath that is the Saw franchise. And defeated it! I'm so shocked by this, that it needed to be discussed right away, instead of the usual esoteric nonsense greeting paragraph I'm accustomed to writing.
Ducks, bananas, and popcorn! (Had to do something weird, c'mon).
This weekend, up is down, black is white, dogs and cats live together! Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
1. Paranormal Activity (Par) - $22.0, 1945 screens, week 5, $62.4 total
2. Saw VI (LGF)- $14.8, 3036 screens, week 1, $14.8 total
3. Where The Wild Things Are (WB) - $14.4, 3735 screens, week 2, $53.9 total
4. Law Abiding Citizen (Over)- $12.7, 2890 screens, week 2, $40.3 total
5. Couples Retreat (Uni) $11.0, 3074 screens, week 3, $78.2 total
6. Astro Boy (Sum) - $7.0, 3014 screens, week 1, $7.0 total
7. The Stepfather (ScrGms) - $6.5, 2734 screens, week 2, $20.3 total
8. Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant (Uni)- $6.3, 2754 screens, week 1, $6.3 total
9. Cloudy With A Change Of Meatballs (Sony) - $5.6, 2741 screens, week 6, $115.2 total
10. Zombieland (Sony)- $4.3, 2447 screens, week 4, $67.3 total
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that Paranormal Activity followed the Blair Witch model one better, as it climbed to number one, a feat the Blair Witch was never able to do, despite the former film's enormous success. Still waiting for the backlash of "It's not that scary" that immediately followed Blair Witch, as well as a bizarre sequel.
Saw, we knew that this day would come sometime. We had a really great run, since October '04! I remember it well. But there are only so many homemade killing devices and traps that one can spring before people start to want other things. I'm not saying we can't be friends, Saw, but I think we should see other people.
Astro Boy is a movie about a boy robot, and like most movies about boy robots, not a lot of people saw it. Even fewer people went to see The Vampire's Assistant, which proves my maxim that Robots Trump Vampires. ALWAYS. (Take That Twilight!).
Sadly, in a disturbing metaphor for life, Robots, vampires, law abiding citizens, wild things, couples, saws, meatballs, and zombies ALL trump history, as Amelia, the story of Amelia Earhart, opened up in 11th place with just over $4 million. Insert "public schooling" joke here.
Below the radar, Antichrist, the divisive latest film from Lars Von Trier opened up on 6 screens and took in $73,000. Cult status soon to follow. Sadly, there are no numbers to report for Ong Bak 2, and this makes me sad.
There you have my amazing break down. Next week, a Michael Jackson cash cow (too soon?) and the Gentlemen Broncos, the latest from the director of Napoleon Dynamite tries to take it on in limited release. Watch for records to be broken and sadness to be caused by one of these films.
Until next weekend.......
(Bisontenniel, by Dr. Ronald Chevalier)
Ducks, bananas, and popcorn! (Had to do something weird, c'mon).
This weekend, up is down, black is white, dogs and cats live together! Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
1. Paranormal Activity (Par) - $22.0, 1945 screens, week 5, $62.4 total
2. Saw VI (LGF)- $14.8, 3036 screens, week 1, $14.8 total
3. Where The Wild Things Are (WB) - $14.4, 3735 screens, week 2, $53.9 total
4. Law Abiding Citizen (Over)- $12.7, 2890 screens, week 2, $40.3 total
5. Couples Retreat (Uni) $11.0, 3074 screens, week 3, $78.2 total
6. Astro Boy (Sum) - $7.0, 3014 screens, week 1, $7.0 total
7. The Stepfather (ScrGms) - $6.5, 2734 screens, week 2, $20.3 total
8. Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant (Uni)- $6.3, 2754 screens, week 1, $6.3 total
9. Cloudy With A Change Of Meatballs (Sony) - $5.6, 2741 screens, week 6, $115.2 total
10. Zombieland (Sony)- $4.3, 2447 screens, week 4, $67.3 total
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that Paranormal Activity followed the Blair Witch model one better, as it climbed to number one, a feat the Blair Witch was never able to do, despite the former film's enormous success. Still waiting for the backlash of "It's not that scary" that immediately followed Blair Witch, as well as a bizarre sequel.
Saw, we knew that this day would come sometime. We had a really great run, since October '04! I remember it well. But there are only so many homemade killing devices and traps that one can spring before people start to want other things. I'm not saying we can't be friends, Saw, but I think we should see other people.
Astro Boy is a movie about a boy robot, and like most movies about boy robots, not a lot of people saw it. Even fewer people went to see The Vampire's Assistant, which proves my maxim that Robots Trump Vampires. ALWAYS. (Take That Twilight!).
Sadly, in a disturbing metaphor for life, Robots, vampires, law abiding citizens, wild things, couples, saws, meatballs, and zombies ALL trump history, as Amelia, the story of Amelia Earhart, opened up in 11th place with just over $4 million. Insert "public schooling" joke here.
Below the radar, Antichrist, the divisive latest film from Lars Von Trier opened up on 6 screens and took in $73,000. Cult status soon to follow. Sadly, there are no numbers to report for Ong Bak 2, and this makes me sad.
There you have my amazing break down. Next week, a Michael Jackson cash cow (too soon?) and the Gentlemen Broncos, the latest from the director of Napoleon Dynamite tries to take it on in limited release. Watch for records to be broken and sadness to be caused by one of these films.
Until next weekend.......
(Bisontenniel, by Dr. Ronald Chevalier)
Monday, October 19, 2009
Mos Eisley Spaceport...UPDATED!
(Courtesy of the man who voiced Darth Maul, and played Shaun's roommate that wasn't Nick Frost).
Then later in the day, I stumbled upon this! Joyous day, indeed!
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Box Office Report: Wild Edition
Dude here again. It seems I have some numbers to report to you all. But I just don't feel like reporting them. I'm too wrapped up in a fantasy playland in my mind, where I run around, and large muppets talk to me and jump around and are all around awesome. And we build forts.
If only there were some movie that could adequately convey this...
This weekend, a movie that doesn't sound at all like my dreamworld opened up, along with this week's remake-du-jour and something else. Plus last week's movies continue to dominate! Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
1. Where The Wild Things Are (WB) - $32.4, 3735 screens, week 1, $32.4 total
2. Law Abiding Citizen (Over)- $21.2, 2890 screens, week 1, $21.2 total
3. Paranormal Activity (Par) - $20.1, 760 screens, week 4, $33.7 total
4. Couples Retreat (Uni) $17.9, 3009 screens, week 2, $63.3 total
5. The Stepfather (ScrGms) - $12.3, 2734 screens, week 1, $12.3 total
6. Cloudy With A Change Of Meatballs (Sony) - $8.1, 3037 screens, week 5, $108.2 total
7. Zombieland (Sony)- $7.8, 3171 screens, week 3, $60.8 total
8. Toy Story 1&2- 3-D (BV)- $3.0, 1489 screens, week 3, $28.5 total
9. Surrogates (BV) - $1.9, 2326 screens, week 4, $36.3 total
10. The Invention Of Lying (WB)- $1.9, 1624 screens, week 3, $15.4 total
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that the Wild Things franchise can still pack them in the theaters. I didn't see it, was there a hot 3-way in this one? Or was it just another Kevin Bacon wang-fest?
Law Abiding Citizen also opened up well, and answered the age old question what would a movie where the guy from PS I Love You terrorizes the guy from Stealth!
I figured out why everyone's seeing Couples Retreat. It's gotta be the closest anyone can get to a tropical getaway in these calamitous economic times. MESSAGE!
And because we almost ran out of movies to remake and sanitize to a PG-13, they decided to remake The Stepfather. And it opened up to $12 million, which is crazy considering I had no idea it actually opened. I received an email from a friend while he was watching the movie, and while I normally abhor this practice, he informed me that the entire audience he saw it with stopped caring about 15 minutes in, and starting having conversations more interesting than the movie. And one woman was on the phone with someone, describing what was happening to whoever was on the other line. Astounding.
Paranormal Activity continues to kick ass, with the highest per screen average once again. I can't even figure out the math regarding the budget versus the profit, but I can assure you it's a large number, and one that most movies don't really make anymore. It's inspiring me to make a horror movie entirely on my cell phone. I'll make the actors speak Esperanto, so that everyone will confuse it for a foreign horror film and call it brilliant, no matter what the quality actually is.
Below the radar, New York I Love You, a quasi-sequel to the short film fest Paris, I Love You, opened up on 119 screens and took in $372,000. Not bad, considering Brett Ratner is one of the directors. Also opening in limited release is Black Dynamite, taking in $141,000 on 70 screens. DY-NA-MITE!!!
There you have my amazing break down. Next week, what's this? They made another Saw movie?!?! Didn't the dude die 3 movies ago? I understand that Freddy and Jason can come back, but they make a point of humanizing the Jigsaw, to the point where we watched him die. After a nauseating brain surgery scene, no less. Oh, and something else comes out next week, too.
Until next weekend.......
If only there were some movie that could adequately convey this...
This weekend, a movie that doesn't sound at all like my dreamworld opened up, along with this week's remake-du-jour and something else. Plus last week's movies continue to dominate! Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
1. Where The Wild Things Are (WB) - $32.4, 3735 screens, week 1, $32.4 total
2. Law Abiding Citizen (Over)- $21.2, 2890 screens, week 1, $21.2 total
3. Paranormal Activity (Par) - $20.1, 760 screens, week 4, $33.7 total
4. Couples Retreat (Uni) $17.9, 3009 screens, week 2, $63.3 total
5. The Stepfather (ScrGms) - $12.3, 2734 screens, week 1, $12.3 total
6. Cloudy With A Change Of Meatballs (Sony) - $8.1, 3037 screens, week 5, $108.2 total
7. Zombieland (Sony)- $7.8, 3171 screens, week 3, $60.8 total
8. Toy Story 1&2- 3-D (BV)- $3.0, 1489 screens, week 3, $28.5 total
9. Surrogates (BV) - $1.9, 2326 screens, week 4, $36.3 total
10. The Invention Of Lying (WB)- $1.9, 1624 screens, week 3, $15.4 total
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that the Wild Things franchise can still pack them in the theaters. I didn't see it, was there a hot 3-way in this one? Or was it just another Kevin Bacon wang-fest?
Law Abiding Citizen also opened up well, and answered the age old question what would a movie where the guy from PS I Love You terrorizes the guy from Stealth!
I figured out why everyone's seeing Couples Retreat. It's gotta be the closest anyone can get to a tropical getaway in these calamitous economic times. MESSAGE!
And because we almost ran out of movies to remake and sanitize to a PG-13, they decided to remake The Stepfather. And it opened up to $12 million, which is crazy considering I had no idea it actually opened. I received an email from a friend while he was watching the movie, and while I normally abhor this practice, he informed me that the entire audience he saw it with stopped caring about 15 minutes in, and starting having conversations more interesting than the movie. And one woman was on the phone with someone, describing what was happening to whoever was on the other line. Astounding.
Paranormal Activity continues to kick ass, with the highest per screen average once again. I can't even figure out the math regarding the budget versus the profit, but I can assure you it's a large number, and one that most movies don't really make anymore. It's inspiring me to make a horror movie entirely on my cell phone. I'll make the actors speak Esperanto, so that everyone will confuse it for a foreign horror film and call it brilliant, no matter what the quality actually is.
Below the radar, New York I Love You, a quasi-sequel to the short film fest Paris, I Love You, opened up on 119 screens and took in $372,000. Not bad, considering Brett Ratner is one of the directors. Also opening in limited release is Black Dynamite, taking in $141,000 on 70 screens. DY-NA-MITE!!!
There you have my amazing break down. Next week, what's this? They made another Saw movie?!?! Didn't the dude die 3 movies ago? I understand that Freddy and Jason can come back, but they make a point of humanizing the Jigsaw, to the point where we watched him die. After a nauseating brain surgery scene, no less. Oh, and something else comes out next week, too.
Until next weekend.......
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
New Movies Open This Week... AND I'VE SEEN 'EM!!!
I caught two new movies that are opening up at theaters this weekend. Firstly, I saw the highly anticipated Where The Wild Things Are, which I find funny because I could've seen a test version of it 2 years ago, but opted to see Juno instead. I'm glad I waited, though, as this version is probably far different from what was shown back then.
I also caught the baddest movie being released on any screen of all time: BLACK DYNAMITE!!! (DY-NO-MITE! DY-NO-MITE!) If this is playing near you, I highly recommend it. It's hi-larious, and fun, and it knows what it is but doesn't try to make fun of it as much as pay respect and create another character into the legion of Blaxploitation heroes. Frankly, I think it succeeds.
(The reviews may not convey that as much, as I wrote them rather late).
Still, check out the reviews, help me out. Thanks!
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Box Office Retreat: Couples Edition
Dude here again. There's not too much to say about this new batch of numbers. Well, I'm sure there is, actually. Perhaps countless words! Perhaps I could write an entire dissertation about the numbers generated this weekend. Then they'd think twice about giving Obama that Nobel, and send it directly my way. Alas, you won't get those numbers because it's a slow weekend, and I have to go to a chocolate fair.
How jealous are you all?
This weekend, only one new film was released wide, but some held strong while some gained enormous traction. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
1. Couples Retreat (Uni) $35.3, 3000 screens, week 1, $35.3 total
2. Zombieland (Sony)- $15.0, 3038 screens, week 2, $47.8 total
3. Cloudy With A Change Of Meatballs (Sony) - $12.0, 2992 screens, week 4, $96.2 total
4. Toy Story 1&2- 3-D (BV)- $7.6, 1752 screens, week 2, $22.6 total
5. Paranormal Activity (Par) - $7.0, 159 screens, week 3, $8.2 total
6. Surrogates (BV) - $4.1, 2992 screens, week 3, $32.5 total
7. The Invention Of Lying (WB)- $3.3, 1743 screens, week 2, $12.3 total
8. Whip It (FoxS) - $2.8, 1738 screens, week 2, $8.7 total
9. Capitalism: A Love Story (Over) - $2.7, 995 screens, week 3, $9.0 total
10. Fame (MGM)- $2.5, 3110 screens, week 3, $20.0 total
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that there are two amazing tales to behold. First of is Couples Retreat, which took in $35 million dollars! That's ridiculously huge numbers, and a welcome shot in the arm to Universal, who had a rough summer and allegedly just fired the people in charge of that rough summer. Couples Retreat charmed enough audiences to ensure the further reign of Vince Vaughn.
The other story belongs to Paranormal Activity, the homemade chiller expanded to a whopping 179 screens (2800 fewer screens than Couples Retreat) and started showing more shows per day (as opposed to the midnight-only showings that sold out the past two weekends) and took in $7.0, which places it in fifth place, but it's per screen average was $44,400, more than any other movie this week. Paramount has listened to fans' demands and is releasing the film wide next weekend, but this is quite remarkable, as it rarely happens.
(Off-topic, if Warner Brothers did this with Trick 'r Treat, they would have made a mint. If you don't know what I'm talking about, rent Trick 'r Treat. The new one. Not the Alice Cooper one. Although that's pretty awesome, too).
Certain holdovers continue to do well. Zombieland had a small drop, which makes it a bona fide hit! And audiences love that movie where it rains food. But nobody is seeing any of the other movies, either.
Below the radar, there's a documentary Chris Rock made called Good Hair. It opened on 116 screens, and took in just over $1 million. Interesting what documentaries make money. Also opening, An Education, which features a pretty British lass named Carey Mulligan (and people say she's fantastic in it and could garner "Oscar Buzz") opened up on 4 screens and took in $162,000, which brings the per screen average very close to Paranormal Activity's. But not close enough!
There you have my amazing break down. Next week, we finally get to discover where the wild things are! Plus there's a remake of The Stepfather that nobody really wants.
Until next weekend.......
How jealous are you all?
This weekend, only one new film was released wide, but some held strong while some gained enormous traction. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
1. Couples Retreat (Uni) $35.3, 3000 screens, week 1, $35.3 total
2. Zombieland (Sony)- $15.0, 3038 screens, week 2, $47.8 total
3. Cloudy With A Change Of Meatballs (Sony) - $12.0, 2992 screens, week 4, $96.2 total
4. Toy Story 1&2- 3-D (BV)- $7.6, 1752 screens, week 2, $22.6 total
5. Paranormal Activity (Par) - $7.0, 159 screens, week 3, $8.2 total
6. Surrogates (BV) - $4.1, 2992 screens, week 3, $32.5 total
7. The Invention Of Lying (WB)- $3.3, 1743 screens, week 2, $12.3 total
8. Whip It (FoxS) - $2.8, 1738 screens, week 2, $8.7 total
9. Capitalism: A Love Story (Over) - $2.7, 995 screens, week 3, $9.0 total
10. Fame (MGM)- $2.5, 3110 screens, week 3, $20.0 total
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that there are two amazing tales to behold. First of is Couples Retreat, which took in $35 million dollars! That's ridiculously huge numbers, and a welcome shot in the arm to Universal, who had a rough summer and allegedly just fired the people in charge of that rough summer. Couples Retreat charmed enough audiences to ensure the further reign of Vince Vaughn.
The other story belongs to Paranormal Activity, the homemade chiller expanded to a whopping 179 screens (2800 fewer screens than Couples Retreat) and started showing more shows per day (as opposed to the midnight-only showings that sold out the past two weekends) and took in $7.0, which places it in fifth place, but it's per screen average was $44,400, more than any other movie this week. Paramount has listened to fans' demands and is releasing the film wide next weekend, but this is quite remarkable, as it rarely happens.
(Off-topic, if Warner Brothers did this with Trick 'r Treat, they would have made a mint. If you don't know what I'm talking about, rent Trick 'r Treat. The new one. Not the Alice Cooper one. Although that's pretty awesome, too).
Certain holdovers continue to do well. Zombieland had a small drop, which makes it a bona fide hit! And audiences love that movie where it rains food. But nobody is seeing any of the other movies, either.
Below the radar, there's a documentary Chris Rock made called Good Hair. It opened on 116 screens, and took in just over $1 million. Interesting what documentaries make money. Also opening, An Education, which features a pretty British lass named Carey Mulligan (and people say she's fantastic in it and could garner "Oscar Buzz") opened up on 4 screens and took in $162,000, which brings the per screen average very close to Paranormal Activity's. But not close enough!
There you have my amazing break down. Next week, we finally get to discover where the wild things are! Plus there's a remake of The Stepfather that nobody really wants.
Until next weekend.......
Thursday, October 08, 2009
Zombieland effin rocks! And so does Trick R Treat!
It was pretty much a given, but fact is, the movie kicks an unholy amount of awesome arse.
I was asked to come up with a humorous editorial for the website. This is what I came up with. Please pass along the interwebs if you like.
Special thanks to R. Bill Mountain, who frankly couldn't have put the sentiment any better, and for whom I blatantly stole a sentence from and changed a few words to make it my own. Mostly because public schooling taught me that this could technically be called "RESEARCH" as long as I give credit to the original source. But also because I'm a lazy bastard.
(Artist's rendition)
And if you enjoy good, fun horror movies at Halloween, you owe it to yourself to check out Trick R Treat! It's almost a perfect movie, full of fun performances, smart storytelling, and a wicked sense of humor. Warner Bros really are fools for not releasing this in theaters. This would KILL with an audience. It's hella fun. The perfect Halloween movie.
Sunday, October 04, 2009
Box Office Report: With Zombies!
Dude here again. I'm very disappointed, as nobody, not one single person, offered anything funny about last week's box office numbers. I'm now filled with a disturbing mixture of sadness and shame, with just a little bit of low self esteem. This lack of interactivity, the main selling point of the interwebs, is putting me into a funk I don't know if I'll get out of.
Screw that, I just found some pudding! Happiness, thy name is pudding!
This weekend, a bevy of new films open up to knock down those pesky meatballs. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
1. Zombieland (Sony)- $25.0, 3036 screens, week 1, $25.0 total
2. Cloudy With A Change Of Meatballs (Sony) - $16.7, 2977 screens, week 3, $82.3 total
3. Toy Story 1&2- 3-D (BV)- $12.5, 1745 screens, week 1, $12.5 total
4. The Invention Of Lying (WB)- $7.3, 1707 screens, week 1, $7.3 total
5. Surrogates (BV) - $7.3, 2951 screens, week 2, $26.3 total
6. Capitalism: A Love Story (Over) - $4.8, 962 screens, week 2, $5.2 total
7. Whip It (FoxS) - $4.8, 1720 screens, week 1, $4.8 total
8. Fame (MGM)- $4.7, 3133 screens, week 2, $16.6 total
9. The Informant! (WB) - $3.8, 2425 screens, week 3, $26.5 total
10. Love Happens (Uni) $2.7, 1922 screens, week 3, $18.9 total
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that there is some justice and balance in the world, as a zombie survival movie has shown the good people the way, and taken the top spot! Yes Zombieland, not just in the minds of nerds everywhere, took in $25, making back it's budget and warning many across the land about the inherent risks of zombie uprising. Today, I'm proud. Almost makes up for that Transforming robots movie making $400 million. Almost.
Disney proved once again that even if you have a movie most people have watched countless times in the privacy of their own home, you can get people to shell out even more cash if it's in 3-D!! Yes the animated adventures of everyone's second favorite living toys (the first being Cherry 2000) came out in force and on 3-D and bested the other two newcomers. But not the raining meatball movie, which continues to hold steady despite having to surrender a number of screens to the Disney juggernaut. Impressive.
The Invention of Lying and Whip It also opened this week, but judging by their numbers nobody was aware of this. Shame, as they're both fascinating, fun, and warm films in their own right. But, let's be honest, if they had zombies in their movies, they would have fared better.
That's the first time I ever get to write those words and actually mean it. Bossome!
Capitalism: A Love Story opened up on more screens, and is attracting more people. But I feel really strange reporting on a movie's performance in terms of money, when the subject of the film is money and how effed the economic system is. Yeah, give me zombies over this one right now.
Below the radar, even more interesting things are afoot! Paranormal Activity, the chiller about a couple haunted in their new home (which if it's not playing near you, you can go to the website and "demand it" come to your town) took in $535,000 on 33 screens. What makes this even more impressive is the film is only being shown at midnight shows, and it still makes this kind of money. A Serious Man, the latest from the Coens, opened up on 6 screens to take in $252,000, but it has the highest per screen average of the entire week, with $42,000 per screen! And More Than A Game, the exciting tale of basketball that's MORE than basketball (and is allegedly good even if you hate basketball) took in $197,000. However, I'm sure all these films would have done better had they been made in 3-D.
There you have my amazing break down. Next week, the broom keeps on sweeping the cluttered fall schedule duds and misfires to make room for even more films.
Until next weekend.......
Screw that, I just found some pudding! Happiness, thy name is pudding!
This weekend, a bevy of new films open up to knock down those pesky meatballs. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).
1. Zombieland (Sony)- $25.0, 3036 screens, week 1, $25.0 total
2. Cloudy With A Change Of Meatballs (Sony) - $16.7, 2977 screens, week 3, $82.3 total
3. Toy Story 1&2- 3-D (BV)- $12.5, 1745 screens, week 1, $12.5 total
4. The Invention Of Lying (WB)- $7.3, 1707 screens, week 1, $7.3 total
5. Surrogates (BV) - $7.3, 2951 screens, week 2, $26.3 total
6. Capitalism: A Love Story (Over) - $4.8, 962 screens, week 2, $5.2 total
7. Whip It (FoxS) - $4.8, 1720 screens, week 1, $4.8 total
8. Fame (MGM)- $4.7, 3133 screens, week 2, $16.6 total
9. The Informant! (WB) - $3.8, 2425 screens, week 3, $26.5 total
10. Love Happens (Uni) $2.7, 1922 screens, week 3, $18.9 total
So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that there is some justice and balance in the world, as a zombie survival movie has shown the good people the way, and taken the top spot! Yes Zombieland, not just in the minds of nerds everywhere, took in $25, making back it's budget and warning many across the land about the inherent risks of zombie uprising. Today, I'm proud. Almost makes up for that Transforming robots movie making $400 million. Almost.
Disney proved once again that even if you have a movie most people have watched countless times in the privacy of their own home, you can get people to shell out even more cash if it's in 3-D!! Yes the animated adventures of everyone's second favorite living toys (the first being Cherry 2000) came out in force and on 3-D and bested the other two newcomers. But not the raining meatball movie, which continues to hold steady despite having to surrender a number of screens to the Disney juggernaut. Impressive.
The Invention of Lying and Whip It also opened this week, but judging by their numbers nobody was aware of this. Shame, as they're both fascinating, fun, and warm films in their own right. But, let's be honest, if they had zombies in their movies, they would have fared better.
That's the first time I ever get to write those words and actually mean it. Bossome!
Capitalism: A Love Story opened up on more screens, and is attracting more people. But I feel really strange reporting on a movie's performance in terms of money, when the subject of the film is money and how effed the economic system is. Yeah, give me zombies over this one right now.
Below the radar, even more interesting things are afoot! Paranormal Activity, the chiller about a couple haunted in their new home (which if it's not playing near you, you can go to the website and "demand it" come to your town) took in $535,000 on 33 screens. What makes this even more impressive is the film is only being shown at midnight shows, and it still makes this kind of money. A Serious Man, the latest from the Coens, opened up on 6 screens to take in $252,000, but it has the highest per screen average of the entire week, with $42,000 per screen! And More Than A Game, the exciting tale of basketball that's MORE than basketball (and is allegedly good even if you hate basketball) took in $197,000. However, I'm sure all these films would have done better had they been made in 3-D.
There you have my amazing break down. Next week, the broom keeps on sweeping the cluttered fall schedule duds and misfires to make room for even more films.
Until next weekend.......
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)