Box Office Report: Holiday Spectacular 1!

Dude here again. Well, another Boxing Day has come and gone, and with those come all the massive releases. And with those massive releases comes some joy, and some pain, and some dread, but mostly pain. And booze. Lots of booze. I love the holidays.

This weekend, lots of movies opened up, and made a lot of money. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. Marley and Me (Fox) - $37.0, 3480 screens, week 1, $51.6 total

2. Bedtime Stories (BV) - $28.0, 3681 screens, week 1, $38.5 total

3. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (Par) - $27.0, 2988 screens, week 1, $39.0 total

4. Valkyrie (UA)- $21.5, 2711 screens, week 1, $30.0 total

5. Yes Man (WB)- $16.4, 3434 screens, week 2, $49.5 total

6. Seven Pounds (Sony) - $13.4, 2758 screens, week 2, $39.0 total

7. The Tale of Despereaux (Uni) - $9.3, 3107 screens, week 2, $27.9 total

8. The Day The Earth Stood Still (Fox)- $7.9, 2402 screens, week 3, $63.6 total

9. The Spirit (LGF) - $6.5, 2509 screens, week 1, $10.3 total

10. Doubt (Mir) $5.6, 1267 screens, week 3, $8.8 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that people really felt the need to see a movie about a family with a terrible dog, which can only mean the floodgates are now wide open for at least a half dozen direct to DVD Beethoven sequels. Marley and Me captured a fair amount of the imagination of the book world, but apparently more people were just waiting for the movie, as it broke records for Christmas Day openings.

Bedtime Stories captured those families that couldn't make it into the one about the dog, and took in a respectable amount, and should prove to have long legs. Close on it's heels is Benjamin Button, where at least one family that couldn't get into the first two movies managed to get into, and then they sat right in front of me and proceeded to ruin the entire movie. But a fair amount of other people were able to enjoy the film, and it should last long into awards season, where it is certain to garner a lot of well deserved nominations.

Bringing up the rear of the new release glut is Tom Cruise (make your own private jokes about Cruise here______ ). Valkyrie proved that you can open a movie about Nazis on Christmas, so long as it's about trying to kill them. A decent message to convey on the day of Jesus' birth. Regardless, the opening is on par for Cruise, and should provide a little bit of stability until Cruise decides to make another movie that just sounds like a bad idea.

Oh, actually, I forgot about The Spirit, a movie nobody was wanting that swept in at the last minute to top a bunch of people's "Worst of '08" lists. I've heard nothing but terrible things about this movie, almost to the point where now I HAVE to see it.

the remaining holdovers from last week have managed remarkably low drops from last week's take. Yes Man and Seven Pounds both took in about 10% less from last weekend, which eases the sting of such low numbers for high profile actors. And for some reason, people continue to see The Day The Earth Stood Still, but I'm attributing that to IMAX, and humanity's innate desire to see Keanu Reeves 60 feet tall.

Below the radar, Revolutionary Road, the last big Oscarbation movie of the season, opened up on 3 screens and took in $192,000. Highest per screen average of the week, people. That's what you get when you clamor for a Titanic reunion.

There you have my amazing break down. Next week, nothing really comes out, which means minor cosmetic changes to my template! Less work for me!!! Happy New Year indeed!

Until next weekend.......
(Spoiler)

Box Office Report: Birthday Edition!

Dude here again. Coming to you on that most special of holiday weekends... The Dave Hyde Birthday Weekend. That's right, it comes so fast every year, and you don't even realize that it's Dave Hyde's birthday all of a sudden. My, how time flies. So Happy Birthday Dave Hyde! My gift to you is some box office numbers.

This weekend, two heavy duty stars had major releases, and a slew of award-minded flicks expand their release platforms. How did they all fare on Dave Hyde Birthday Weekend? Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. Yes Man (WB)- $18.1, 3434 screens, week 1, $18.1 total

2. Seven Pounds (Sony) - $16.0, 2758 screens, week 1, $16.0 total

3. The Tale of Despereaux (Uni) - $10.5, 3104 screens, week 1, $10.5 total

4. The Day The Earth Stood Still (Fox)- $10.1, 3560 screens, week 2, $48.6 total

5. Four Christmases (NL) - $7.7, 3515 screens, week 4, $100.1 total

6. Twilight (Sum) $5.2, 2991 screens, week 5, $158.4 total

7. Bolt (BV) - $4.2, 2968 screens, week 5, $95.0 total

8. Slumdog Millionaire (FoxS) - $3.1, 589 screens, week 6, $12.1 total

9. Australia (Fox) - $2.3, 2212 screens, week 4, $41.9 total

10. Quantum of Solace (Sony)- $2.1, 1874 screens, week 6, $161.3 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that Jim Carrey and Will Smith COMBINED can't match the power of Will Smith on his own in a crappy superhero movie. Jim Carrey's Yes Man took the top perch on the list, followed closely by Mr. Smith's Seven Pounds, and neither did as well as both actor's previous outings. Is it signs of a struggling economy? Bad word of mouth on both flicks? Too many people out shopping for Dave Hyde? The world may never know, but next week should prove both films' legs, as a whole batch of new movies will also be in contention.

Also opening this week is The Tale of Despereaux, an animated film I'm assuming is based on a children's book I've never read. I think there's a mouse involved. There are probably celebrity voices making the animals speak, too. It did a paltry $10 million, but that's still better than last week's animated offering Delgo, which has apparently been yanked from every theater it was released in last week. (Over 2000 screens! It's a record!)

Everything else seems to be mopping up some cash while they still have a chance, before the big holiday guns unload upon an unsuspecting public. Give it time, by January, many prestige titles will be peaking their heads up in the top ten, along with holiday holdovers. However, it is nice to see Slumdog Millionaire on the top ten right now, as it gains award recognition. It's about time audiences discover one of the year's best movies.

Below the radar, opening up on 4 screens is The Wrestler, a film that has many people talking about Mickey Rourke's lead performance. It made $295,000 in 4 screens since opening on Wednesday. This will increase, as the level of Oscar buzz continues for Rourke. Personally, I think the film bears too much of a resemblance to my friend Bill Bradley's senior film, in which yours' truly portrayed a wrestler facing the biggest match of his life: Wrestling his drinking problem.

In honor of it being Dave Hyde's Birthday Weekend, I'm obliged to point out that Death Race came out on DVD, and that you should watch it and think of how much Dave enjoys the Dreadnaught. That thing is BADASS!!!

There you have my amazing break down. Next week, aforementioned holiday guns!

Until next weekend.......

(The Periodic Table Of Awesoments)

Box Office REzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Dude here again. I've been working nonstop like a fiend. I'm seriously seeing double right now as I type this. This will be a short one.

This weekend, blah blah movies opened. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. The Day The Earth Stood Still (Fox)- $31.0, 3560 screens, week 1, $31.0 total

2. Four Christmases (NL) - $13.2, 3540 screens, week 3, $87.9 total

3. Twilight (Sum) $8.0, 3649 screens, week 4, $150.1 total

4. Bolt (BV) - $7.5, 3133 screens, week 4, $88.8 total

5. Australia (Fox) - $4.2, 2703 screens, week 3, $37.8 total

6. Quantum of Solace (Sony)- $3.8, 2635 screens, week 5, $157.6 total

7. Nothing Like The Holidays (Over) - $3.5, 1671 screens, week 1, $3.5 total

8. Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa (Par/DW)- $3.2, 2768 screens, week 6, $170.0 total

9. Milk (Focus) - $2.6, 328 screens, week 3, $7.6 total

10. Transporter 3 (LGF) - $2.2, 2541 screens, week 3, $29.2 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means blah blah blah Keanu Reeves blah blah blah Speed joke blah blah blah unfunny Matrix pun blah blah blah obscure Chain Reaction reference.

There you have my amazing break down. Next week, I'll be a little more awake, I promise.

Until next weekend.......

Poster analysis

Does this mean Evil will do a hot young chick in order to live? Because in that case, I think we can conclude that most young men (and old ones) are indeed evil.

You wanna see a fuckin' movie?!?!

See Punisher: War Zone.

It's not a good movie by any means. It's retarded as hell. But goddamn is it an awesome stupid movie.

The Punisher punches through a dude's face. HIS FACE!!! With his bare hands!!!

So many people get shot in the head, and their heads fucking disappear in an eruption of blood!! There are so many scenes of needless brutality, I feel I can't give any of it away. It will ruin the experience of having your face melted off by the movie's almost Rambo-level approach to amazing on-screen violence.

Dominic West as Jigsaw, the main villain, is perfectly terrible. Armed with a the second-worst Brooklyn accent in the film, he chews the scenery to shreds that resemble his make-up.



The worst accent in the movie belongs to Doug Hutchinson as Looney Bin Jim. His level of awful, in voice and performance, approaches the sublime. There's a scene with mirrors that must be seen to be believed. There's also a scene involving... nevermind. Watch it.

Even the cinematography is dumb. Watch some of the bizarre framing of shots in this movie. Hint, look to the right of the screen. You'll see.

Discover the brilliance of a terrible movie. Watch Punisher: War Zone... It's CRAPTASTIC!!!


I don't even know who this guy is. Because to me, he IS the Punisher.

But he kinda looks like Will Forte a little bit.

(This kind of terrible movie should not be confused with a bad movie. For an example of a bad movie read this clever little synopsis of Quantum of Solace from The Editing Room. But only if you've already seen, or don't care to see the movie, as it has "spoilers". Not great ones, since the movie has no story. But it definitely sums up my feelings about the film.)

Too good not to post.

Just be careful if you play it at work. Not because of it's rude content, but because your co-workers will not get it out of their heads.

BELIEVE ME ON THIS!!!

Box Office Report: ummm... for today.

Dude here again. It's Sunday again, and that means one thing... I have to go to work. But my need for a paycheck, with no overtime and a significantly reduced pay, isn't enough to stop me from reporting the numbers to you. Because you need those numbers. Like crack. Or cheese.

This weekend, a few new movies tried to open, but this is typically one of the deader weekends, with films clearing room for all the big holiday and Oscar baiting films. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. Four Christmases (NL) - $18.1, 3335 screens, week 2, $70.8 total

2. Twilight (Sum) $13.1, 3620 screens, week 3, $138.5 total

3. Bolt (BV) - $9.6, 3516 screens, week 3, $79.2 total

4. Australia (Fox) - $7.0, 2721 screens, week 2, $30.8 total

5. Quantum of Solace (Sony)- $6.6, 3423 screens, week 4, $151.4 total

6. Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa (Par/DW)- $5.1, 3317 screens, week 5, $165.6 total

7. Transporter 3 (LGF) - $4.5, 2626 screens, week 2, $25.3 total

8. Punisher: War Zone (LGF)- $4.0, 2508 screens, week 1, $4.0 total

9. Cadillac Records (Sony) - $3.5, 686 screens, week 1, $3.5 total

10. Role Models (Uni) - $2.6, 1907 screens, week 5, $61.6 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means people in these times opted to not go to the movies, possibly spending their time shopping for holiday presents, or in my case, working on soft core pornography. But most of the movies are around the same order as last week, just with a lot less money. Four Christmases continues to dominate and browbeat you with it's holiday cheer, while Twilight struggles for relevance from more than just the teen girl contingency.

Two new movies opened up this week, and they may have well just shown up on screen and shrugged, then walked away. the third attempt to make a Punisher movie failed miserably, taking in just $4 million this weekend, but I've heard it on good authority that it's one of the dumbest (which by default means most awesome) movies he has ever seen. And Cadillac Records opened up, but not even Beyonce could lure them into the streets. It's a shame, as the movie actually looks pretty darn good.

Everything else is kind of just waiting around to be kicked out of theaters at this point. And actually, I'm willing to bet that numbers go down next week, as The Dark Knight, the biggest movie of all time (slight hyperbole) is released on DVD and Blu-Ray. (Which is a tremendous format, even if the only Blu-Ray I have is the Under Siege 1&2 double pack!) It's possible audiences will opt to stay in and watch that over selections in the theater, but that's something to ponder for next week's column.

Interesting fact, Dark Knight is still in release, it just crossed $530 million total in 21 weeks. It averages about $180,000 for the past few weeks now, which means people are still keeping it alive. Which is kind of remarkable given that I feel I'll find the Punisher movie that opened this weekend on the DVD racks in less than 2 months. Movies just don't last in theaters anymore.

Off the radar, the big winner was Ron Howard's Frost/Nixon. Opening on just 3 screens, the film had a per screen average of $60,000, with a weekend total of $180,000. (In case your calculator isn't working). I'm sure there's a stupid record being broken here, like 3rd highest limited release opening or something, but I'm too lazy to look it up. As well as having to go edit softcore pornography. I mean go to work.

There you have my amazing break down. Next week, Keanu Reeves makes the world stand still. In IMAX, no less. I'm sure something else opens, too. Probably something that wants Oscars. Certainly not the kind of movie I want to see.

Until next weekend...

Kinda makes you want a big donut,

2 great nerd tastes in one!

Some people have too much free time on their hands. This person certainly does not.

(But I do for watching it then posting it on a Tuesday morning. I should really work or something.)