There's Always Mini-Golf

It was ten years ago...

2012-01-20T14:43:00.000-08:00

A bright eyed fresh out of film school kid gathered his friends together and using every resource available to him, they put together a picture!

Well, half of a picture. Life and other things got in the way, and the picture remains unfinished.

But thanks to the wonders of YouTube ( a resource that would've been much appreciated during the making of this movie, had it been around) we can enjoy a few choice bits!

I present to you, Low Cool - Opening and Coming Home!

And The Pencil Dilemma!

There's a third scene, but YouTube is being a dick about the music I use and has it without audio. SO there's that,

Looking back, I definitely had the time of my life when we filmed it, surrounded by my friends who were just as enthusiastic about the prospect of making a movie, and who were willing to give up their time to do it. Great memories sprang forth from the ten days we filmed. (on 16mm, none of this DV that looks better than 16mm that they have nowadays).

One thing, however, is I notice the many flaws and the naivete in the writing. But I was young and didn't understand how the world works. This is learning.

Oh, and one fun fact about this flick and to those who look back at the Kevin Smith era of self financed films: I paid off the final credit card that I maxed out to help fund the flick in 2010.

For Christmas This Past Year...

2012-01-13T01:59:00.000-08:00

My mom got me a copy of Fantastic Mr. Fox on BluRay!

Unfortunately, nowhere on the disc was my amazing Wes Anderson interview (featuring Jason Schwartzman as Wes Anderson) to be found. Not even as some hidden Easter Egg! What the flip?!?

So that means you get to see it here once again!

Also, the first trailer for Wes Anderson's latest flick Moonrise Kingdom was just released. For Anderson fans such as myself, it looks like manna from heaven. For detractors and haters, it's more ammo for you.

Keep your eyes peeled to the site, as I have a nice blast from the past making it's online debut, hopefully by tomorrow!

The Best/Worst of Movies: 2011 Edition!

2012-01-03T23:44:00.000-08:00

Greetings to the few readers who still stick around and check out what I have to say about things. (And the spambots who enjoy it too!) Another year has come and gone, and a crap-load of movies have been released upon us. Due to a poor career choice in the middle of year that left me uninvited to free movie screenings and making 150 phone calls a day telemarketing trying to sell people insurance in this terrible economy, my film viewings have been limited to a scant 45 movies!

Yes, I realize that's still a ridiculously large number, but coming from someone who's used to seeing well over 140 in a year, that's a crying shame.

But I love watching movies, and of the ones that I saw, these are how I felt about them. I won't get too much into specifics, as I probably did earlier on most of the flicks at some point or another throughout the year.

Here I present to you my picks for the best and worst of the year. Sadly, this year brought us nothing as groundbreaking as Piranha 3D, or Rambo, but it was a relatively strong year for solid flicks, if not altogether mind blowing cinema. As always, I'm up for suggestions regarding flicks I missed. (I included the list of things I haven't seen, but want to. Not to be confused with the list of movies that looked just too retarded for me to actually sit through… Twilight Breaking Dawn, I'm looking your way).

Still, from what I've seen, I give you my picks for my favorite movies of the year, with some justification for my picks.

THE TOP TEN (er... twelve)

Super 8
Loved this movie to death. I realize the flaws, and I completely understand anyone's argument against the film, but that doesn't change the fact that I unabashedly heart this flick, and have continued to do so since first seeing it back in June. Nothing's lived up to it yet.

Drive
This movie is just balls to the wall cool. It's spawned endless quotations and playings of the soundtrack in my household. Just badass from frame one, and I can even overlook the fact that Carey Mulligan's character would NEVER send her car that was broken down in Echo Park to a repair shop deep in the heart of the valley. The Tow truck alone would cost more than the repairs! Still, Worthy of the praise and hype.

The Descendants
Clooney's the man, I've made no secret about my unabashed worship. Put him in an Alexander Payne movie, and you have a terrifically acted and incredibly moving portrait of a man trying to hold his family together in a time of crisis. That also takes place in Hawaii. Well done, and worthy of every award it will be passed over for due to it's subtle and understated nature.

Win Win
Pretty much the same description of Descendants can be used for this movie. Though not quite as outstanding as director Thomas McCarthy's previous films, this film still has me smiling 10 months after it's release.

Paul
For the scene where Simon Pegg and Nick Frost walk into the redneck bar and the band is playing a country western version of the cantina band music from Star Wars alone. Brilliant sci-fi nerd love fest.

Hugo
This movie was just utterly delightful. Enchanting, magical, and a must see for anybody who claims they like cinema. Naysayers be damned, this was a fun and charming flick, and the more I think about it, the higher up on the list it will climb. (I just saw it on Monday)

Submarine
At first, I was a little bummed that it wasn't as Wes Anderson-y as I expected it to be. But then I realized it was it's own thing, and that thing is great. A very understated gem that needs to be sought out and loved.

Attack The Block
Again, upon first viewing, there was a bit of underwhelming involved, especially given the fanboy hype that most likely cost it even mild box office success. (Seriously, stop with the free screenings for the fanboys, they're the only ones who go and never see it when the film is actually released). But this John Carpenter-80s Chris Colombus hybrid grew on me and my opinion, and I realize that it really is pretty kick ass flick, with a badass score to match.

Source Code
Duncan Jones makes the greatest feature length Outer Limits episodes. I'll watch anything the guy does, because he does it with style, flair, and respect for an audience's intelligence. Sure, the movie is Deja Vu (all over again! HA!), but it's told with such confidence and weirdness that it works on it's own level. Even if the ending makes zero sense whatsoever.

Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame
There's a character named Donkey Wang. That's just the beginning of the amazingness that is this movie.

Young Adult
This last spot was a tough one. I just saw this flick, and it's the freshest in my mind, but I really dug it. All the performances are terrific, from Theron as the heartless bitch main character to Patton Oswalt as the.. well, the Oswalt. The writing from my girl Diablo Cody was surprising and fresh, and those that hated Juno can put down their loathing, as it contains none of the hip slang, but all of the heart and wit. It's also dark as fuck, which is what elevated it above Rise of the Planet Of The Apes.

MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: GHOST PROTOCOL
Alright, so there's 12 on this top ten, but this movie, the more I think about it, is really badass. More so than X-Men and Thor. It's got a great sense of pacing, fun and excitement. The set pieces are terrific, the writing is top notch, and the actors chemistry is superb. Frankly, it's the best one of the series, and a helluva fun time at the movies.

THE ALSO QUITE GOOD (in No Order Whatsoever)
Adjustment Bureau, The Mechanic, Cedar Rapids, Super, Hanna, Fast FIve, Thor, Hobo WIth A Shotgun, Bridesmaids, Make Believe, X-Men: First Class, Bad Teacher, Harry Potter 7.2, Captain America, Our Idiot Brother, Rum Diary, Rise of the Planet of the Apes

TERRIBLE MOVIES OF 2011
These movies brought me pain and wasted time that I will never get back. No matter how many blows to the head or bottles of whiskey I may encounter in my days. There wasn't a full on ten, which I attribute to my ability to choose only movies I genuinely wanted to see and not waste time with the garbage.

Drive Angry Shot in 3-Crap
This movie was BULLSHIT! It's like the director had a coked out fever dream and caught Shoot Em Up on cable, but forgot about it and thought that this movie would be a good idea. Even writing about this movie angers me.

Season of the Witch
Nic Cage! 2 for 2! This movie at least had the benefit of being heavily edited for the PG13 to make up for the fact that it's terrible. However, it should be noted that both these flicks make for excellent listening on the "How Did This Get Made" podcast, which you should listen to if you don't already.

Sucker Punch
I wanted to like it. I tried giving it the benefit of the doubt, and read alternate readings into what Snyder was trying to do. But in the end, this movie was just garbage. Very cool looking garbage, but it was some bizarre video game/pin up girl/anime/wet dream hybrid that everyone should've just walked away from. Or at least had a few more meetings about before production started.

Transforming Robots Nonsense
To all those internet critics who stated that this was light years better than the last one, and that the last hour was spectacular filmmaking, all I have to say is this: FUCK YOU! It still made absolutely no sense, and was a rape of the senses. And of good taste. Even the siege of Chicago, which granted had some cool moments, made absolutely no sense and was should've stopped after 20 minutes.

The Roommate
Let's take Single White Female and remake it for the Gossip Girl era, but take out all the subtlety and suspense but instead feature ridiculously named actresses who speak in obscenely high pitched voices. Also, let's not have any nudity in it. Way to go, jerks. However, bonus points for having Billy Zane. Actually, this and the next movie were at least entertainingly awful, which is a plus.

Priest
Let's take that 10 minute desert sequence from Judge Dredd, cross it with Underworld and Blade Runner, wash it under a waterfall of stupid, and voila! I did enjoy how stupid this movie would continue to plummet, but it does have some genuinely great production design and a FANTASTIC (no sarcasm needed) Karl Urban performance.

THE MEH FILMS OF 2011
Sadly, there were a lot more of these than of the truly bad movies. These were movies that were either boring, stupid, or nowhere near offensive enough to be considered terrible, but also weren't a complete waste of time. Mostly.

Red State
Usually, I'm a staunch Kevin Smith supporter, and while I applaud him for branching out and finally trying something new (especially with his method of distribution) doesn't change the fact that I didn't care for the flick that much. Nothing terrible about it (in fact, the siege on the compound is some genuinely great filmmaking) he's just too in love with his own writing sometimes. And what the hell is up with the "Psycho" ending, just having a character explain everything? I know you ran out of money, but still, sir, that's just lazy.

Green Hornet
Literally fifteen minutes after watching this movie, I had no idea what happened in the movie. But I remember not hating it.

Unknown
This actually is 3/4 of a badass flick that gets ruined the second they explain everything and turn Neeson into an ass kicking machine. (Although, that stuff is great too, but it felt generic when compared to everything else that happened before). Also, STOP LETTING JANUARY JONES BE IN MOVIES! (see X-Men First Class also for more proof of this argument)

Battle: Los Angeles
It actually got better as it went along, but for fuck's sake by a tripod! Enough with shaky cam when it's not in a combat scene, especially when you're trying to differentiate the generic alien fodder soldiers that populate the flick. Still, there's some good in it, mostly involving fighting aliens in city streets. (Which reminds me, it really should be called Battle: Santa Monica).

Troll Hunter
Great premise, awesome special effects, but what a boring execution. The main problem I have is the found footage/fake documentary approach. The troll hunter himself is such a badass character that it should have been done straight up narrative. Still, the scene in the ace is pretty cool.

Green Lantern
Another great "How Did This Get Made" flick. Nothing much made any sense, but at least it was different in an extremely bizarre sort of way. Made me wish I still watched movies under the influence.

30 Minutes or Less
This one is an anomaly, because I enjoyed the hell out of the trailer and was shocked to discover that the trailer was pretty much the movie. Almost beat for beat. Like, no surprises or hilarious scenes beyond everything seen. Pretty astounding. And while it's not necessarily bad, there wasn't anything left for me to really enjoy. Weird.

Killer Elite
This one should've been amazing. Statham! Owen with a mustache! DeNiro! Guns! Espionage! Scorpions on the soundtrack! But it turned into low rent Munich, and while that turns out to be a neat idea, it's not the awesome movie this should've been. Also, one of the slowest 100 minutes of film I've seen in a long time.

Tower Heist
Still haven't seen the rest of it, but probably don't really need to. I have no beef with Ratner as a filmmaker that most fanboys do, but this is really one of the laziest directed films I've seen in awhile.

Immortals
Yeah, there's a scene where a guy in a barbed wire minotaur helmet smashes a dude in the junk with an enormous mallet because Mickey Rourke wanted the guy to know he will never have a kid to know what a traitor his father is. And there is a naked Frieda Pinto. (or body double). But every other money shot was in the trailer, leaving a gorgeous but vapid 300 wanabe.

THESE MOVIES ARE STUPID, BUT I ENJOYED THEM ANYWAY, DEAL WITH IT

Your Highness
Really stupid, but I chuckled more than I should, right from the beginning when McBride gets hung at the midget gallows. Plus, really appreciated the 80s fantasy films specificity. David Gordon Green is a fascinating director these days. I want him to go back to Snow Angles level films, but as long as he remains weird, I'm on board.

Friends With Benefits
The more I think about the editing in this movie, the more it bothers me. There's a lot about this movie that's easy to hate, but the chemistry between the two leads is so damn charming, it put a smile on my face. Also, it took me away from insurance business for 2 hours, which is alright by me.

Cowboys and Aliens
Well, I saw the first half on an airplane, then hit wicked turbulence, so I never got to finish it, much to my dismay, but most movies I watch on an airplane get a pass because they take my mind off the fact that I'm in an airplane. Hence my love for G-Force).

I HAVEN'T SEEN THESE YET, BUT TO SOME DEGREE WANT TO:
Cold Weather, Ip Man 2, Ong Bak 3, The Eagle, Gnomeo and Juliet, Vanishing on 7th Street, Hall Pass, Rango, I Saw The Devil, Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives, Black Death, Electra Luxx, Kill The Irishman, Limitless, Lincoln Lawyer, Bill Cunningham New York, Peep World, Insidious, Rubber, Arthur, Meeks Cutoff, Henrys Crime, Evil Bong 3D,Conspirator, Atlas Shrugged, Legend of the Fist, Stakeland, Dylan Dog, 13 Assassins, Prom, Cave of Forgotten Dreams, The Beaver, Everything Must Go, Hesher, Skateland, Pirates 4, Midnight In Paris, HAngover 2, Tree of Life, Beginners, The Trip, Cars 2, Larry Crowne, Terri, Perfect Host, Horrible Bosses, Zookeeper, Smurfs, Project Nim, Sleeping Beauty, Winnie The Pooh, Salvation Blvd, London Blvd, Another Earth, Crazy Stupid Love, Devils Double, The Future, The Guard, Point Blank, Life In A Day, Bellflower, ChangeUp, Final Destination 5, The HElp, Conan, Fright Night, Last Circus, Colombiana, Don't Be Afraid of the Dark, Apollo 18, Shark Night 3D, The Debt A Good Old Fashion Orgy, Shut Up Little Man, Gainsbourg a Heroic Life, Contagion, Warrior, Burke and Hare, Straw Dogs, Moneyball, Pearl Jam 20, 50/50, Whats Your Number, Magaret, Take Shelter, Tucker and Dale Vs Evil, Ides of March, Real Steel, Human Centipede 2, The Way, The Thing, Big Year, Footloose, Texas Killing Fields, Trespass, Johnny English Reborn, Three Musketers, Paranormal Activity 3, Margin Call, Martha Marcy May Marlene, Being Elmo, In Time, Like Crazy, Very Harold and Kumar Xmas, 11-11-11. Elite Squad, J Edgar, Melancholia, Another Happy Day, Muppets, Arthur Christmas, Artist, Shame, Dangerous Method, Tyrannosaur, Rampart, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, We Need To Talk about Kevin, Sherlock Holmes, Carnage, TinTin, The American Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, War Horse, We Bought a Zoo, Darkest Hour

NO INTEREST, BUT MAY SEE FOR THE PAIN OF IT:
Just Go With It, Justin Bieber Never Say Never, Bucky Larson, Jack and Jill, I Don't Know How She Does It, Abduction, New Years Eve, The Sitter, I Melt WIth You, WE, Twilight: Bullshit

AWESOME: A Very Calvin and Hobbes Christmas!

2011-12-15T18:41:00.001-08:00

Can't believe nobody thought of this already.. especially me

2011-12-12T18:38:00.001-08:00

Tim & Eric Red Band Trailer

2011-12-02T12:12:00.001-08:00

Just give them the Oscar right now.

More Tim %26 Erics Billion Dollar Movie Videos

You Son Of A Bitch

2011-11-28T12:36:00.001-08:00

Manliness Just Got More Manly

2011-11-19T10:25:00.000-08:00

I know I'm getting a little Expendables 2 crazy, given how much of a let down the previous film was.

But how can you look at this poster and not get excited about it?

Immortals and Rum (with a bit of Heist)

2011-11-16T11:50:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago, I won a contest over at Movieline. It was to see Immortals at the premiere! In 3D!! All I had to do was caption a photo from the film. Here's the photo, with my winning caption beneath.


THIS... IS... (not quite)SPARTA!!!

I wrote that as a lark, thought it would be funny. Didn't think it would win, when low and behold it did.

Little did I know, that would be an apt review of the film. It's not quite 300. It's a beautiful mess of a movie. By which I mean it looks gorgeous, but it's boring and makes no sense whatsoever. Literally EVERY awesome shot is in the trailer, save for one, which I will spoil for you right now.

That would be the scene where Mickey Rourke orders the guy in the barbed wire Minotaur helmet to smash in a dude's junk with a giant wooden mallet.

This actually happens in the movie.

And it's all downhill from there. It's not a bad movie, per se, but it is rather boring. Take from that what you will.

I did also catch Rum Diary, the earlier take on the life of a drunk Hunter Thompson and his misadventures with crazy people in Puerto Rico in the early 1960s. I rather enjoyed the film, even though it's was no Fear and Loathing. (But nothing really can be, now can it?)

The mood, setting, costumes, music and locations evoke an awesome period feel, one that I imagine people who watch Mad Men always equate it to. (Don't watch the show, but hear it's great with the 60s style). The story falls apart in the end, but I enjoyed the journey, and the almost age-less Depp once again reprising Thompson-incarnate for the big screen.

Sadly, more people have seen this tattoo than the movie.

And finally, there's Tower Heist. I couldn't wait for Tower Heist to come out so that I could stop seeing ads for Tower Heist. But I'm glad I saw Tower Heist when I did, before Ratner's unfortunate comments about rehearsals for films being exclusively for homosexuals, as it may have tainted my review even more than it already has.

Not surprisingly, that comment explains a lot about the lazy film, that doesn't even bother to have Eddie Murphy do anything of significance until the middle of the third reel, and it makes you wonder whether or not Ratner could have benefited from having a homosexual or 2 on set. It's really lazy and ramshackle, and spells out everything for the audience way before the characters reach the same point. It's not bad, but feels extremely "who cares?"

The cast of Tower Heist. Right?

I didn't hate what I saw, I was sort of enjoying it, and thought "This will be one of those movies that will be played on USA infinitely in a few years." Some performances are good (Broderick and ALda especially), even if the New Yawk accents grow irritating.

Also, it's a New York film made by a degenerate douchebag that's never lived in New York. I realize you paid for the helicopter aerial shots of the city, but that doesn't mean you have to use them to link every scene.

Full disclosure: Due to unforeseen circumstances, I had to leave right when Eddie Murphy started having something to do. So I missed the ending, but I'm sure I could tell you what happens, or wait for DVD without crying too many tears.

PBR

2011-11-08T13:28:00.001-08:00

VOTE for the ABCs of Death!

2011-10-20T15:57:00.000-07:00

My friend Shane has directed one of the contestant films for the ABCs of Death. For those who don't know, it's a film where 26 horror directors make a short film about a violent bloody death caused by an object from a corresponding letter - A is for AbRoller, B is for Butter, C is for Colostomy Bag, etc.

The "T is for..." position is being left up as a contest, and Shane has made one called T is For Table. It's quite good, and features our old friend Dan (He of DanSpeak, a now defunct portion of this old blog).

Anyway, please vote and support this as it will mean Dan's face will be on a large screen! It helps that the film is actually quite decent, and far better than a lot of the other ones up there. Also please spread the word, as voting ends October 31st. (Halloween... Spooky, scary)

Another Ahab Video

2011-10-14T14:56:00.001-07:00

Larry didn't do this one, but it's still a great video worthy of checking out.

Captain Ahab - Little Hands from Captain Ahab on Vimeo.

Expendables 2 is filming

2011-10-12T13:06:00.000-07:00

Even though the last one had brief moments of awesomeness (always when Dolph Lundgren was onscreen) I'm still looking forward to the prospect of a second one, featuring older versions of the heroes of my youth.

This is still a mighty cool picture. Here's hoping they actually have villains worthy of doing something, instead of Eric Roberts just hanging out and yelling at the guy from Dexter.

A preview for an upcoming motion picture

2011-10-11T09:17:00.001-07:00

Yeah, I could see myself anticipating this film.

Larry Made a New Video

2011-10-03T12:43:00.001-07:00

It's the greatest thing he's ever done.

Prepare to have your face melted.

The Kingdom of Light from Captain Ahab on Vimeo.

Movies that have come out that I somehow managed to see.

2011-09-30T18:01:00.000-07:00

DRIVE

This movie is like a European art house version of The Transporter. It starts off hypnotic and meditative, fetishizing shots of Los Angeles like nobody's business. Complete with a soundtrack that should pay Tangerine Dream for the inspiration. Then it gets insanely violent. Throw in great performances from Ryan Gosling as the nameless Driver, Albert Brooks as a menacing heavy, and Ron Perlman as the Ron Perlman character, and you have yourself an awesome movie. Well worth the hype and reviews that have been lavished upon it.

DETECTIVE DEE AND THE MYSTERY OF THE PHANTOM FLAME

Here's what you need to know about this movie: It's from Hong Kong, it's structured like a pretty awesome film noir, it has a terrific lead performance from Andy Lau, because it's from Hong Kong every character needlessly flips around when simple walking would suffice, and there's actually a character named Donkey Wang. It's a fun flick, and if you get a chance, see it on a big screen. IT probably won't happen, but it was definitely one of the better FX-heavy flicks I saw all summer. (Even if I saw it at the end of summer).

KILLER ELITE

Man, this movie should have been awesome. Chev Chelios pitted against Shoot Em Up?!!? And the trailer features Rock Me Like A Hurricane, and features Statham tied to a chair and kickin some dude's ass!?!?! SOLD! Alas, it turns out the film is more like a poor man's Munich. While not necessarily bad, it's not really that good either. One thing to point out, everyone's bitching out Clive Owen's mustache, but nobody bothers pointing out that the movie takes place in 1981, where those creepy staches were a sign of the times.

OUR IDIOT BROTHER

I liked this movie. I thought Rudd was charming and a lot of fun. The ending is WAY too pat and tidy, but a movie like this, you just enjoy the ride. That's all I really have to say about that.

Brilliant

2011-09-19T12:40:00.001-07:00

I'm Brady, and I made this movie

2011-09-13T12:01:00.001-07:00

This is pretty damn terrific.

A reenactment of one of my favorite scenes from brady Shoemaker on Vimeo.

Catching up on some more flicks, PART 2

2011-08-30T17:45:00.000-07:00

So, the insurance career I've recently partaken in has denied me the time I would normally spend all summer watching movies. As it stands, I've only seen a collection of the movies released this summer, and not the big ones that you would think either.

This turn of events both frightens and saddens me. Luckily, measures have been taken to remedy this.

Regardless, I have managed to catch a few flicks, and this is what I think about them.

SUBMARINE

Fun Welsh indie flick, reminiscent of Harold & Maude and Rushmore (mostly because of its teenage outcast protagonist, played very well by Craig Roberts) that balances the sweet and the sour of teen love and family life. Roberts plays Oliver Tate, and the movie is about his adventures. I can't really describe the rest, just know that it's worthy of checking out. A strong feature debut from Richard Ayoade, the actor from Garth Merengi's Dark Place and The IT Crowd. If I had a complaint, it would be that the soundtrack should've been better. That's it.

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS

This is one of those movies where the charm and chemistry of the leads takes it FAR beyond the premise. Justin Timberlake is very good as the male counterpart who wants to have sex with his friend Mila Kunis. She is also very good. Like I said the chemistry between these two is great, but my problems with the film stem from the horrendous direction, which manages to be edited in the most ADD, over-covered way imaginable (since Easy A, director Will Gluck's previous film, actually)/ Additionally, every scene is plastered with pop music to the point of annoyance. Still, not bad, probably worth a rental. (No, I didn't see the other movie that was practically the same with Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman, but I heard it was little better, mostly because the lead characters had lives outside of just boning each other).

HARRY POTTER AND THE BLAH BLAH PART 2

It's the last Harry Potter movie. It's just as well made as the last one. I would have preferred if they just combined both movies into one epic, 4 hour event, but it's ok. What's strange is that I was more emotionally invested in the book than with the film. (I refer to certain characters' deaths that had more of an impact in print). And the coda in the future was just plain ridonkulous. Still, a great end to a series of films that actually kept getting better as they were produced.

ATTACK THE BLOCK

This movie was pretty kick ass. There was a lot of hype from the internet movie sites, hyping this thing to end, calling it the end all be all of geek cinema, which is not true. In fact, the over-hype may have soured me a little bit. However, this movie was pretty awesome, harkening back to an old school John Carpenter feel (down to the score, even). And the creature design is pretty terrific. So terrific that I kept drawing it on whatever I could find.

This took a good half hour out of my day.

But as an antidote to most of the big budget blockbuster alien flicks, this invasion flick about a gang of London punks who defend their building tenement from neon teeth beasts was far superior. Well worth checking out, even if it didn't quite live up to the hype, in my mind.

30 MINUTES OR LESS

If you saw the preview, you saw the movie. It's not necessarily that it's a bad movie, just that there was literally nothing more to it than what was shown in the preview, aside from a few good Aziz Ansari one liners. (You're not a grown up, last night you had a Lunchables for dinner!) But this tale of inept crooks who strap a bomb to a pizza guy's chest so that he robs a bank for them plays off like Elmore Leonard-lite, and that's not necessarily a compliment. Even more frustrating is (SPOILER ALERT) there are really no consequences for anyone given the survival rates of the characters. Good for a few laughs, but you can wait for Netflix for a breezy 80 minute time. Sorely lacking the style and wit of the director/star's previous outing of Zombieland, which leads you to believe that flick's strength was the doing of the screenwriters.

I've also managed to check out a few flicks at home, as well that are worth checking out. Never Let Me Go was like a very well made but depressing art house version of The Island. I also liked The Adjustment Bureau quite a bit until the literal dues ex machina in the end. Make Believe is a fun documentary about teen illusionists that's winning and fun. And speaking of illusionists, The Illusionist, the follow up to Triplets of Belleville, is another interesting animation using pictures and very little dialogue. It's also depressing as fuck. And finally, there's I Love You Phillip Morris, which felt like a Coen Brothers movie, anchored by a fascinating story and a not at all annoying lead performance by Jim Carrey.

That's what I've seen lately. I also finally caught Close Encounters of the Third Kind, which is pretty awesome, and I'm glad I didn't see it before Super 8, because that movie owes a LOT to Close Encounters. Anyway, I'm hoping to catch the Apes and Captain America before summer ends.

OH, and friend of the blog OMAR saw Colombiana, and his voice mail to me consisted of "Oh my goodness... oh my goodness... oh my goodness. You have to let me know when you see it. It does things I've never seen in an action movie before."

So there you have it. Straight from Omar's mouth directly to your ~~ears~~ eyes.

There have been a lot of videos posted lately...

2011-08-18T07:06:00.001-07:00

And here's one more!

I promise I'll post up some reviews, but between new job and cutting a movie, I haven't had much time to see anything. But what I did see, I"ll let you know about.

Someday.

They made a Black Dynamite cartoon!

2011-08-11T10:39:00.001-07:00

It involves Black Dynamite fighting puppets. It might be one of the greatest things ever.

Shark Week

2011-08-05T11:00:00.001-07:00

This gets off to a slow start, but the ending is worth the wait.

Shark Hangover from Dolph Lundgren

It's My Car

2011-07-11T21:04:00.001-07:00

Larry's review of Zookeeper

2011-07-09T11:33:00.000-07:00

"Dude, it's a masterpiece of awful and unfunny."

-Larry

Yeah, so here's They Might Be Giants doing a cover of Tubthumping

2011-07-07T22:31:00.000-07:00

They Might Be Giants covers Chumbawamba

I drink a whiskey drink, I drink a vodka drink, and when I have to pee, I use the kitchen sink.

I sing a song that reminds me I'm a urinating guy.

Catching up on some flicks, and stuff.

2011-06-12T23:21:00.000-07:00

Yeah, yeah, I've got tons of excuses for not going to movies lately. But I've managed to see a few, and here's what I have to say about them.

SOURCE CODE - Pretty terrific. The logic falls apart a bit by the end, but at that point I was so invested in the characters that I didn't care so much about logic. Duncan Jones makes great Outer Limits-esque storylines into compelling and awesome movies. (Loses points for not having as memorable a score as Moon).

HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN - Like a demented Troma flick that never was. Rutger Hauer does a great job portraying the titular hobo, and I mean that in no sarcastic terms whatsoever. He really gives a great performance. Probably best I've seen all year thus far. The movie itself is bloody and nihilistic, and would feel right at home in the early 80s alongside Troma's War. Worth checking out, just try not to let the color timing talk you out of it. (PS- The Plague OWNS!)

THOR - The stuff in Asgard was like watching the greatest 70s prog rock album cover come to life! Chris Hemsworth gives a star making lead performance as Thor (The diner scene alone is proof enough of this) and I look forward to seeing more of him as this character. The rest of the movie was pretty entertaining as well, though the Asgard stuff was certainly more compelling than the Earth-bound stuff. I was happy that it didn't feel like another 2 hour Avengers commercial (Iron Man 2, I'm lookin in your direction...) Plus any movie that has Natalie Portman AND Kat Dennings, yet manages to have an even hotter woman in the form of Jamie Alexander, who kicks Frost Giant ass, is alright by me.

PRIEST - This movie is like the inbred offspring of Underworld, Blade, and those crappy 20 minutes of Judge Dredd that took place in the wasteland. (As opposed to the crappy 80 minutes that took place in the major city). Hero of the blog KARL URBAN manages to be the only person (aside from the production designer, actually) that's having any sort of fun, and as such, any scene that doesn't feature him suffers greatly. This is a movie I wouldn't be surprised to find on How Did This Get Made. Yet, it's not so horrible it's entertaining, although it toes that line...

X-MEN FIRST CLASS - What a fun movie this turned out to be! I've been bitching and moaning about how the marketing for the film has focused way too much on showing almost everything, set piece wise (a claim which I still contend happened) but the result was far better than I was expecting. Terrific performances mostly all around, especially from McAvoy, Lawrence, and Fassbender. Only exception is January Jones, who is downright terrible, but is at least pleasing to look at in her underwear (which is practically the whole time). But they make up for it by casting EVERY awesome character actor to play minor parts, like James Remar, Ray Wise, and MICHAEL IRONSIDE! It felt like an old school Bond flick (Kudos to the composer for appropriate flavored tracks).

SUPER 8 - Unabashedly love this film. I can understand why people might not like it, and I can certainly understand the "Enough with lens flares, JJ" arguments, but quite frankly, I thought this was great. The kids were great, the nostalgic feel was pitch perfect, the kids filmmaking experiences is just as authentic as Son of Rambow's. Perhaps even more so. I may actually go and see this again in theaters. Just a great time. Can't recommend this enough.

On the video front, I recently caught The Mechanic (great Statham action flick, which means it's a pretty entertaining modern day Cannon flick), Due Date (rarely laughed, found it mean spirited and kind of obnoxious, actually) and I don't know if I mentioned this before, but Drive Angry is absolute shit.

Also, I've been mildly obsessed with the show Friday Night Lights, which I found dramatically compelling, but the continuity errors regarding the time of day/days of week, day/night, as well as the shaky cam editing can get a little obnoxious at times. Otherwise, it's great, although season 2 is getting a little crazy, but we'll see.

Wish I had these effects when I was a kid

2011-05-31T09:49:00.000-07:00

We just had to use crap like our "Imaginations" and filming the TV to get Star Wars effects.

That Russian Dude with the Guns is BACK AND BIGGER THAN EVER!!!

2011-05-24T11:36:00.000-07:00

Books... Check em out!

2011-05-17T09:31:00.000-07:00

Occasionally I enjoy reading. More than occasionally, actually. Books are great. Just like this informative video tells us.

So recently I picked up The Devil's Candy, a book that chronicles the making of the Hollywood flop Bonfire of the Vanities. Nobody could have known while making it that the film would be as large a flop as it became.

(And certainly reading the book, you would have no idea that would happen, as it seemed to be a relatively easy shoot, not an unmitigated disaster of nonsense like Heaven's Gate or that Terry Gilliam film that never made it past 6 days of filming.)

All in all, it's a decent read, but what really makes it worth it, at least reading my copy of it, was this horribly inappropriate pull quote on the back from Kirkus Reviews.

That's one to grow on

Sure, it was from 1991, and there was no possible way of knowing what future events would lie in store, but, really, how fucked up a quote is this to say to begin with? On top of which, the book isn't really that ground breaking or provocative, or scandalous. It's quite passive agressive and full of meandering details that amount to nothing in the end.

Still, looks like I have a collectors' item on my hands.

Books... check em out!

ROADSIDE TRAILER

2011-05-07T11:45:00.001-07:00

Check out this trailer I edited. It's for a movie I'm editing.

Fast Flippin Five!!! (and some other things)

2011-05-05T15:12:00.000-07:00

Hands down, the best summer movie since Star Trek. Unbelievably badass and fun, in a turn your brain off and enjoy ridiculous fights, amazing car chases, and homoerotic tension between bros, bro.

My friend Larry says it best: It's like Bayhem, but with coherence.

Just a fun time at the movies, full of some terrific and exciting set pieces.

In Other News:

Den of Geek has a great interview with There's Always Mini Golf personal hero/patron saint KARL URBAN. Check that out.

Also, if you're in the market for a good podcast, check out How Did This Get Made. A bunch of funny people celebrating terrible movies. Well worth a listen.

Important message

2011-05-02T11:25:00.001-07:00

This about sums it up.

2011-04-27T12:10:00.001-07:00

And that's kind of a good thing.

Today Now! Interviews The 5-Year-Old Screenwriter Of "Fast Five"

Laughter... the best medicine.

2011-04-25T20:38:00.001-07:00

Weird Al owns all.

2011-04-14T11:16:00.001-07:00

Funny Or Die Beats Weird Al at Twitter from Al Yankovic

One more tweener... Win Win!

2011-04-11T15:26:00.000-07:00

From the man who directed The Station Agent and The Visitor comes another great movie full of everything you love about movies. Great characters, great story, great acting, laughs, drama, heart, Bobby Cannavale, and a setting in New Jersey. (Even if it was shot in New York). The ending is a little too tidy and neat, but it doesn't matter. One of the best movies out there right now, and well worth checking out.

How about some Tweeners?!?

2011-04-09T11:18:00.000-07:00

Haven't seen too many flicks lately, but I did catch a few and here's my opinion of them:

Paul: I thought this was terrific nerdy goodness. Some people complained that it was too full of references to other movies and pot jokes to be entertaining, but I disagree. I thought the references were actually necessary for character development (as this is how they would talk) and there's one scene where they smoke pot. Also, I'm convinced that Pegg and Edgar Wright need to work together again, as I think Pegg's sensibilities are what's missing from Scott Pilgrim, but are more evident here. (Obviously). All in all, though, I really enjoyed Paul. Seth Rogen should do more voice work, and everyone who complains that the FX are terrible need to actually pay attention and not just board hype/hate trains. (Like the one that's knocking down Sucker Punch and Your Highness).

Also, you can't beat any movie that references to Mac and Me AND Capturing the Friedmans. Especially if that joke is right before the small cowboy line.

Cedar Rapids: Pretty good, entertaining enough flick, but if you've sen the preview, you know most of the jokes already, which is a shame. Very slight, but still fun, and it actually has a core sweetness to it that's not pandering to mid-West folks, which is refreshing. In the beginning you think it's gonna be jokes about rubes who have faith, but ultimately it wins you over. Still, no need to rush out, it'll make a fine home viewing experience.

The King's Speech: Finally saw this, the last of the Best Picture nominees (and the eventual winner). What a good film! I can see how it won Best Picture over Facebook movie, and rightfully so. Like 127 Hours, you actually feel something after it's over. You see the man overcome his problems, you see his friendship with the doctor blossom amidst adversity, you see the epic scale of the war and of England's problems, and at the end, you feel good about yourself and humanity. You don't come out just thinking "Wow, what a well made movie." Performances are great across the board, direction is tight, some camera lenses are a bit weird, but who cares? Well worth checking this movie out, and well worth all the awards it did garner.

Sax Man

2011-03-21T09:49:00.001-07:00

C3Pegg-0

2011-03-15T13:59:00.001-07:00

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Battle Los Angeles: I saw it

2011-03-14T09:57:00.000-07:00

Remove the first reel from the movie, and Battle LA was just like Tron Legacy: It's a freakin awesome spectacle that falls apart the moment you start to think about it. My solution: Don't think about it.

Full disclosure: I went in expecting to completely hate it based on everything I read elsewhere. On top of which, I'm a cynical bastard, and even the slightest thing can have me turn against a movie (slightly out of focus, framed too high/low, off sound mix). So when the awful shaky cam began, and inexplicably continued through the god-awful expository opening scenes, I was prepared to dismiss it, but give the guy who cut the trailer an Academy Award for tricking me so well.

Then reel 2 began, and that's when they should have just started the movie. I don't need or want to know anything about these stock characters. I still don't know anything about the characters, except there were three black guys and one had glasses, one had an accent, and one was angry, but he sort of disappears and I thought he was dead until his convenient "Arc" has to be resolved.

See what I mean about thinking about it too much?

Anyway, point is, that stretch from the Police Station to the Military base is damn exciting and intense filmmaking that miraculously managed to hook me in and turn my opinion of the film around. Yes, it's stupid, one-note, jingoistic as hell, and I'm probably a little dumber having seen it, but I still enjoyed myself and can't understand the extreme vitriol the film is receiving. Especially when a film like Drive Angry (shot in 3D!) exists, one of the worst movies I've ever seen unleashed to the public in a long time.

And you know what? Kudos to the filmmakers for not making this in 3D! That alone should garner half a star. Of course, were it in 3D, the nausea levels would be astronomical.

People in my audience were getting up and leaving, jag offs were checking their iPhones through the whole thing (seriously, people, knock that shit off. Screens are bright in a dark place, how can you not realize this, and why do you need to hold the screen right in front of you?), and there were people next to me who fell asleep (when the lights came up, I found piles of Pixie sticks layin on the ground, which would explain that part, but being they were late 20 yr old dudes, actually just raises more questions). My favorite reaction, though, was the woman behind me, who kept freaking out because the "locations" were a mile away from where we were watching it. ("That's the Overland exit!")

PS- I enjoyed that they keep calling it Battle LA, but didn't realize until the end credits that the LA stands for Louisiana. Despite what the woman behind me believes.

R. Bill Mountain's Response to the last post.

2011-03-08T21:47:00.000-08:00

Due to ~~Charlie Sheen taking up all the bandwidth~~ server errors on the blogspot part, R. Bill Mountain, one of the six of you who still read this site, was unable to voice his opinion on the matter.

I now present to you his response:

Darn blogger wouldn't let me sign in to comment on yer blog. So here it is:

Agreed. Less marketing nonsense, more cinephilia. Fewer numbers, greater Karl Urban gags. Amen.

Time to make it about the pictures, man.

Balls.

So there you have it. More Urban!!!

Who could refuse such an offer?

Box Office Report: The End?

2011-03-04T11:02:00.000-08:00

Dude here again. As you might have been able to tell, I haven't been doing the box office report the past couple of weeks. The first week was because I was on a trip for the weekend, and didn't feel like bringing my computer.

The second week was because, well, I think I've reached the end of writing about box office reports. I've been writing one for the better part of 6 years for Moviesonline and for this blog, and while I love doing it there's only so much one can write about crappy movies making money.

This shouldn't come as a shock, I've been quite open and even openly belligerent towards my distaste of stupid films receiving lots of money while worthy films go into obscurity. And there's only so many ways one can talk about that for every week. Snark takes many forms, and I believe I used every one in my column.

It's been a lot of fun doing it, but I think, like Tom Petty says, "It's time to move on."

I will still continue to update the blog with my musings and ramblings, and occasional reviews of movies, but a lot of that spark has burned out as well, I'm afraid. Trailers give everything away from movies, websites are given constant videos of movies to the point where I feel I've seen the movie twice before it's even released in a theater. All the incessant coverage from movie sites, and their collective need to be "First" in reporting casting news and rumors like it's CNN World News, has really turned me off from wanting to write about it.

It's killing my love of movies, to be honest. And I can't let that happen.

Working in this industry is difficult and degrading enough as it is. When websites that were started out of fan devotion are becoming competitors (and ultimate destroyers) of venerable institutions like Variety and The Hollywood Reporter, something is wrong. Look, I don't need to know who's going to cameo in Hangover 2 until it inevitably shows up from Netflix. I especially don't need to know a year in advance of the film's release.

On top of which, reducing films to terms of commerce and judging their worth based on how much money they can make in short periods of time is just plain sad. It's like jocks kicked out the nerds and turned everything into a competition.

Or as Charlie Sheen would say, Winning! (TOPICAL HUMOR!)

Anyway, unless there's an overwhelming response from the readership, I don't think there will be anymore box office reports. I'll still put up mini reviews and wry comments, as always, but reporting on the numbers is indefinitely suspended.

Talkin music, and another video.

2011-02-24T14:03:00.000-08:00

In honor of Radiohead's new album released this week, here's Morgan Freeman receiving his boxed set of the last album.

By the way, I've been listening to the new album like crazy, and I somewhat enjoy it. But I'm through defending Radiohead and my love of them, so you're on your own when it comes to this one.

Music of late I haven't really been paying much attention to. The best album I heard last year was the new Underworld album. And yes, it does make me very happy when there's a new Radiohead and a new Underworld album released within a few months of each other. (Just like their previous albums, now that I think about it).

In other music news, it's a bummer about the White Stripes breaking up, but then I take comfort in knowing that there might be a new Soundgarden album on the way. My 16 year old self has never been happier.

Predator Musical

2011-02-23T14:37:00.001-08:00

Not as good as my Se7en musical, but what can you do?

Bonus from /Film, dancing Predators on the set of part 2!

We can only hope the Oscars will end up like this

2011-02-22T13:17:00.001-08:00

What's That? You need to see a Russian shooting different guns at water jugs?

2011-02-14T17:27:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Geekologie for finding this.

Box Office Report: Lots of new movies and one with gnomes

2011-02-13T10:45:00.000-08:00

Dude here again. Hey, how about those recent current events in Egypt, eh? Or that super bowl of football that was played last week? Or anything else that's not movie related? Can we talk about something different for just one week? For a change?

Nah, I'm just fuckin' with ya!

This weekend, a neck and neck battle between the titles beginning with "J", while my estimation of humanity drops down a few more pegs. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. Just Go With It (Sony)- $31.0, 3548 screens, week 1, $31.0 total

2. Justin Bieber: Never Say Never (Par) - $30.2, 3105 screens, week 1, $30.2 total

3. Gnomeo and Juliet (BV) - $25.5, 2994 screens, week 1, $25.5 total

4. The Eagle (Focus)- $8.5, 2296 screens, week 1, $8.5 total

5. The Roommate (ScrGms) $8.4, 2534 screens, week 2, $26.0 total

6. The King's Speech (Wein)- $7.4, 2263 screens, week 13, $93.8 total

7 No Strings Attached (Par) - $5.6, 2756 screens, week 4, $59.8 total

8. Sanctum (Uni)- $5.1, 2789 screens, week 2, $17.5 total

9. True Grit (Par)- $3.7, 2072 screens, week 8, $160.3 total

10. Green Hornet (Sony) - $3.6, 2090 screens, week 5, $92.3 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that the top two movies are neck and neck for our mediocre viewing pleasure. The Adam Sandler/Jennifer Anniston romantic "comedy" Just Go With It seems to be in the lead, but who knows. The posters for this movie seem like rejected designs from the fake movies Sandler made for Funny People, so I'm a little surprised to find out it's real.

Hot on that film's heels is a documentary about a 16 year old boy (in 3D) managed to capture the hearts and imaginations of the people. The Bieber doc has exposed many people as fans and this opening proved this precocious boy and his hair charm everyone around them with auto-tuned glee. Except me.

Gnomeo and Juliet, the animated retelling of the Shakepearean romantic tragedy with lawn gnomes, had a impressive debut considering it opened up this same weekend. It sounds like the best movie out of any that were released this weekend, and far more interesting than that Leonardo DiCaprio version we got fiteen years ago. Holy shit, has it been fifteen years? Anyway, gnomes.

One thing's for sure, though. Nobody really wants to see The Eagle.

Fun Fact: Anniston is recognized by my spell-check.

Below the radar, Cedar Rapids, the latest from Miguel Areta, opened up on 15 screens and took in $311,000. There's also something called Vidal Sassoon: The Movie, which opened on one lowly screen, but took in $14,300 on that one screen, so what the hell do I know?

So there you have my amazing breakdown. Next week, a few more releases, one of which includes Liam Neeson traversing through Europe and kicking people's asses, which means you should see it above anything else. Or he'll find out.

Until next weekend....

(All Numbers courtesy of Box Office Mojo)

Best/Worst of 2010 - Addendum Pt. 1

2011-02-10T00:40:00.000-08:00

Catching up on some of the flicks from last year that I haven't seen yet, some of which happen to have been nominated for shiny gold statues.

(Curiously, when I typed "Shiny Gold Statues" into Google Images, the following image came up).

Matt Day-mun!

Of those films, only one has rocketed to the top of my best of list: 127 Hours.

What a tremendous film! I came out of that actually feeling something more than "What a nicely crafted movie about people I don't care about", which is what I felt after the facebook movie.
James Franco overexposure aside, his performance is nothing short of extraordinary. Danny Boyle once again knocks it out of the park in a very tense, very moving, very life affirming flick. Very well done. Truly one of the best of the year, and it's a shame it's getting overlooked for awards.

In a way, that makes it a much cooler movie, but it's a shame not enough people are seeing it.

Mini Tweeners as follows...

The Other Best Picture Nominees I've Seen:
True Grit - Solid, but doesn't feel like a Coen Brothers movie at all. Girl deserves the award, though.
The Fighter - Again, solid. Bale's great, Walhberg's great, it's crowd pleasing and worthy of your time.
The Kids Are All Right - It's fine, everyone's fine, but don't understand the love for it. Frankly, Please Give should have gotten the attention and love this did.
Winter's Bone - Intriguing. I liked seeing this world on film. That girl is deadly serious.

She makes this face for literally the entire film.

Other nominated films:
Animal Kingdom - Powerful and intense, with some great performances.
Blue Valentine - Great performances, but depressing as fuck.
Exit Through The Gift Shop - I really dug this flick, even if it is all a hoax. It was cheeky fun.

Not nominated but intriguing nonetheless:
The Killer Inside Me - Brutally violent, intense pulpy Jim Thompson adaptation.
The Square - Not bad Australian noir. A bit too dour, but solid performances.
MicMacs - If you enjoy French whimsy, you'll love this. I quite enjoyed it.
OSS 117 Lost In Rio - Really fun, French whimsy (these movies are strangely working in pairs). Bonus points for the casual racism!
The Girl with Dragon/Fire/Hornets - I really enjoyed all three of these flicks. Noomi Repace is quite fascinating, and I can't wait to see her in this Ridley Scott sci-fi flick. I can't imagine what Fincher's remake will bring to the table, because these are pretty solid. However, should Fincher make the second film, he should cast Dolph Lundgren in a key role.

You know you'd see this movie.

Not Nominated For Anything and Kinda Lame:
Prince of Persia - Watching Former Roommate Dan play video games was more enjoyable, better acted, and made more narrative sense than this movie. On top of which, it was boring.

Still Need To See:
The King's Speech - But Marty my Father-In-Law declares it "The Best Movie He's Seen Since Coming Home", so that tells you something right there.
Jackass 3D - I'm shamed for not having seen this yet.

Still Haven't Made it Past These Opening Credits Yet:
Enter The Void

(Not good if you're prone to seizures)

Box Office Report: Nobody Cares

2011-02-06T11:31:00.000-08:00

Dude here again. Another yawn inducing weekend has graced us. Nary a surprise in sight. People say it's because of the Big Game that's happening later today, but I think it's because everything sucks.

Except Tron.

This weekend, a teen horror movie that's not a remake takes the top spot, while James Cameron discovers he's not quite king of the world afterall. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. The Roommate (ScrGms) $15.6, 2534 screens, week 1, $15.6 total

2. Sanctum (Uni)- $9.2, 2787 screens, week 1, $9.2 total

3 No Strings Attached (Par) - $8.4, 3050 screens, week 3, $51.7 total

4. The King's Speech (Wein)- $8.3, 2584 screens, week 11, $84.1 total

5. Green Hornet (Sony) - $6.1, 3033 screens, week 4, $87.2 total

6. The Rite (WB) - $5.3, 2985 screens, week 2, $23.6 total

7. The Mechanic (CBS)- $5.3, 2704 screens, week 2, $20.0 total

8. True Grit (Par)- $4.7, 2902 screens, week 7, $155.0 total

9. The Dilemma (Uni)- $3.4, 2545 screens, week 4, $45.7 total

10. Black Swan (FoxS) - $3.4, 1977 screens, week 10, $95.8 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that scary roommates are this week's possessed! The Roommate, released just in time for college kids to return to a new semester, capitalized on CW counter-programming to pull off another weak weekend. Since costs were probably kept low, this will turn out to be a success. Champagne and hookers for all!

Sanctum proved that if you're going to have a 3D cave movie that's rated R, you should try to put a little more into it than just attaching the Avatar guy's name and hoping that's enough. At the very least, put the creatures from The Descent in it! Morons.

Pity last week's new releases, with astounding drops from last week. When does that Thor movie get here?

Hooray for the Oscar nominated flicks, which really class up the top ten list with their higher numbers. And kudos to you all for seeing them in theaters.

Fun Fact: If you take your 3D glasses into Black Swan, it actually works!

Below the radar, Cold Weather opened up on one screen and took in $15,100, which gives it the highest per screen average. Also opening up is Waiting For Forever, which opened on 3 screens, took in $10,200, and garnered some of the worst reviews for a release this year!

So there you have my amazing breakdown. Next week brings us a documentary about a pubescent boy that looks like a girl but gets paid millions of dollars while I enter my third unemployment renewal. And a 3D animated movie about gnomes.

Until next weekend....

(All Numbers courtesy of Box Office Mojo)

Beethoven & The Wicker Man: Together At Last!

2011-02-04T15:41:00.001-08:00

McBain! (Not the Walken one)

2011-02-03T10:09:00.001-08:00

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Box Office Report: Weak Sauce

2011-01-30T12:59:00.000-08:00

Dude here again. Stuck with a cold, or the flu, or flu-like symptoms this week. It's a lot of fun, as everything I do seems to exhaust me right now. But that''s not gonna stop the numbers. Because nothing can stop the numbers!

Just like nothing can stop the Grimace. (From McDonalds).

This weekend, a very weak January weekend closes us out, with nothing really redeeming worth mentioning. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. The Rite (WB) - $15.0, 2985 screens, week 1, $15.0 total

2 No Strings Attached (Par) - $13.6, 3022 screens, week 2, $39.7 total

3. The Mechanic (CBS)- $11.5, 2703 screens, week 1, $11.5 total

4. Green Hornet (Sony) - $11.5, 3524 screens, week 3, $78.8 total

5. The Kings Speech (Wein)- $11.1, 2557 screens, week 10, $72.7 total

6. True Grit (Par)- $7.6, 3120 screens, week 6, $148.3 total

7. The Dilemma (Uni)- $5.4, 2901 screens, week 3, $40.6 total

8. Black Swan (FoxS) - $5.1, 2315 screens, week 9, $90.7 total

9. The Fighter (Par) $4.0, 1914 screens, week 8, $78.3 total

10. Yogi Bear (WB)- $3.1, 2133 screens, week 7, $92.5 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that exorcisms are the hot new horror trend that will be overdone within the next 18 months. Yes, despite a supremely lackluster opening, Anthony Hopkins and the devil managed to "scare" up a small amount and be declared the king. I'm really ashamed at myself about that "scare" line, but I figure I'd put it in quotes, as the film is also just as likely to "scare" you out of anything besides your hard earned money.

No Strings Attached (or as I like to call it, the less funny Blue Valentine) held on to a scond place, and didn't relinquish too much of last week's take. So good for Natalie Portman!

Ah, Statham. On the one hand, The Mechanic opened up and did about on par with normal Statham flicks. On the other, in the dead of January, it should have done much better. Still not stopping me from seeing it, at least.

The Oscar nominations were announced this week, which explains the continued presence and money collecting of King's Speech, True Grit, Black Swan, and The Fighter. Just below the top ten, 127 Hours expanded again, and had one of the best weekend performances since opening 13 weeks ago.

Fun Fact: Yogi Bear has almost approached the same tally as the OTHER Justin TImberlake movie, the one about the face books.

Below the radar, something called From Prada to Nada, which is apparently a hip, Latino retelling of Pride and Prejudice, opened up on 256 screens and took in $1.1 million! ALso, Biutiful finally opened up on more than 2 screens (57 to be exact) and took in $461,000. And because it's not just arty flicks below the radar, Ip Man 2, Hong Kong sequel to the pretty kick as Ip Man, opened up on 20 screens and took in $63,500. And Gregg Araki's Kaboom opened on one screen to take in $13,700, and the highest per screen average of this slow, slow weekend.

So there you have my amazing breakdown. Next week brings us more weakness as a PG-13 "thriller" is released, along with something else I don't really care about either.

Until next weekend....

(All Numbers courtesy of Box Office Mojo)

A New Blog

2011-01-26T15:39:00.000-08:00

I've gone and made a new blog. It's called Stuff With Faces. It features a gallery of pictures I've taken of things in real life that have faces.

It sounds uber-pretentious when I say it like that. Here's a sneak peak, of an alternate of one of the posts to show you what I'm dealing with. Check it out, won't you?

They fell on the board that way, I snapped the pic.

So check it out. And if you like it, show it in the only currency of matter and like it on the facebooks. Or don't.

It's entirely up to you.

Dear Michael Bay

2011-01-26T15:32:00.000-08:00

I will go see your new film Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon only if it includes anything as awesome as this clip.

(Also, will consider seeing it if it synchs up perfectly with Pink Floyd's The Wall. Or anything by Rush).

Box Office Report: Eh

2011-01-24T00:55:00.000-08:00

Dude here again. I'm pretty tired right now. I've had a long day, and staring at the computer screen hurts my eyes more than somewhat.

So all you're getting is numbers.

This weekend, Natalie Portman movie comes out that possibly doesn't include lesbians and fingernail wrenching. It makes money. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. No Strings Attached (Par) - $20.3, 3018 screens, week 1, $20.3 total

2. Green Hornet (Sony) - $18.1, 3584 screens, week 2, $63.4 total

3. The Dilemma (Uni)- $9.7, 2943 screens, week 2, $33.3 total

4. The Kings Speech (Wein)- $9.1, 1680 screens, week 9, $58.6 total

5. True Grit (Par)- $8.0, 3464 screens, week 5, $138.6 total

6. Black Swan (FoxS) - $6.2, 2407 screens, week 8, $83.5 total

7. The Fighter (Par) $4.5, 2275 screens, week 7, $73.0 total

8. Little Fockers (Uni)- $4.3, 2979 screens, week 5, $141.1 total

9. Yogi Bear (WB)- $4.0, 2510 screens, week 6, $88.8 total

10. Tron Legacy (BV) - $3.7, 2018 screens, week 6, $163.2 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that you know the drill from here.

Fun Fact: It still took me two hours to write this, mostly because The Matrix Revolutions was on in the background. This movie's pretty bad, like it's all shot by a second unit crew. Da hell?

So there you have my amazing breakdown. Next week brings us a Statham movie. So bellow a mighty huzzah!

Until next weekend....

(All Numbers courtesy of Box Office Mojo)

Ron Swanson Pyramid of Greatness

2011-01-22T00:25:00.000-08:00

Box Office Report: Jaunaury is the new April!

2011-01-16T16:19:00.001-08:00

Dude here again. Well into the first month of the new year, and already, we got record breaking numbers. Actually, we don't. Well, we might, but who cares, really?

It's not like you have any personal interest vested on these records, that are arbitrary anyway.

This weekend, Seth Rogen does the super hero thing, while Vince Vaughn tries the comedic melodrama thing. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. Green Hornet (Sony) - $34.0, 3584 screens, week 1, $34.0 total

2. The Dilemma (Uni)- $17.4, 2940 screens, week 1, $17.4 total

3. True Grit (Par)- $11.2, 3459 screens, week 4, $126.4 total

4. The Kings Speech (Wein)- $9.0, 1453 screens, week 8, $33.2 total

5. Black Swan (FoxS) - $8.1, 2328 screens, week 7, $72.9 total

6. Little Fockers (Uni)- $7.1, 3394 screens, week 4, $134.2 total

7. Tron Legacy (BV) - $5.6, 2439 screens, week 5, $156.9 total

8. Yogi Bear (WB)- $5.3, 2702 screens, week 5, $82.0 total

9. The Fighter (Par) $5.1, 2414 screens, week 6, $65.7 total

10. Season of the Witch (Rela.) - $4.5, 2827 screens, week 2, $17.9 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that Green Hornet actually played it safe by not opening around Christmas, as originally intended. Letting the Tron 3D play itself out, so that audiences are refreshed for some Gondry-inspired 3D shenanigans with Seth Rogen as a superhero based on a 30s radio serial, turned out to be a good call, as Green Hornet made an impressive $34 in 3 days. Because of most Hollywood wisdom, that's sadly considered a disappointment.

The Dilemma, a comedy with Vince Vaughn directed by Ron Howard, of all people, settled into second, proving that most people will see anything Vince Vaughn is attached to.

Impressive jumps for King's Speech and Black Swan, impressive stay for True Grit, impressive drop for Fockers and Season of the Witch. Something almost seems right with the universe.

Fun Fact: For 6 days, Season of the Witch managed to be the top grossing film released in 2011.

Below the radar, something called The Heart Specialist opened on 422 screens and took in $540,000. Something called Barney's Version (which I assume has nothing to do with Rubble, The Dinosaur, or How I Met Your Mother) took in $71,700 on 4 screens for the highest per screen average of the weekend. And something called Every Day opened on 3 screens and took in a nice ten grand.

So there, you have my amazing break down. Next week, we see if the "Norbit" curse of releasing something that looks terrible in the middle of an impressive Oscar campaign holds any merit, as Natalie Portman acts against Ashton Kutcher in some Apatow-wannabe-looking flick. Stay Country Strong, everybody!

Until next weekend....

(All Numbers courtesy of Box Office Mojo)

I am Jack's Transmografier Ray

2011-01-12T14:33:00.000-08:00

Pretty clever little video.

Box Office Report: Jaunaury Doldrums

2011-01-09T10:41:00.000-08:00

Dude here again. Coming at you on a lazy sunday with some lazy January numbers.

And to continue the tradition, I"m going to lazily report them.

This weekend, a boring Nicolas Cage movie rings a barely heard bell to an indifferent mass that's not really listening anyway. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. True Grit (Par)- $15.0, 3124 screens, week 3, $110.4 total

2. Little Fockers (Uni)- $13.7, 3675 screens, week 3, $123.9 total

3. Season of the Witch (Rela.) - $10.7, 2816 screens, week 1, $10.7 total

4. Tron Legacy (BV) - $9.8, 3013 screens, week 4, $147.9 total

5. Black Swan (FoxS) - $8.3, 1584 screens, week 6, $61.4 total

6. Country Strong (ScrGms)- $7.3, 1424 screens, week 3, $7.4 total

7. The Fighter (Par) $7.0, 2528 screens, week 5, $57.8 total

8. The Kings Speech (Sony)- $6.8, 758 screens, week 7, $33.2 total

9. Yogi Bear (WB)- $6.8, 3288 screens, week 4, $75.6 total

10. Tangled (BV) - $5.2, 2383 screens, week 7, $175.8 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that True Grit is the highest grossing Coen brothers movie (Domestically). The success also could mean a resurgence of the Western that will end as quickly as it began.

Season of the Witch finally opened up, after almost a year of sitting on a shelf. It underwhelmed audiences to the tune of $10 million this weekend, which is both sad and impressive.

Seriously… what the hell is Country Strong? I know it has Gwyneth Paltrow, and she sings country music, and the kids all like that because of that obnoxious Glee show, but I've not been able to find anything about this movie, the plot, or even any theater near me where it's playing. I'm convinced it's a Tropic Thunder parody.

Fun Fact: My friend Dave has a theory about the Twilight movies, about how there isn't an actual movie, but a collective thought experience where everyone believes they saw something, but in actuality did not.

Below the radar, nothing new opened up. A few more awards movies expanded, but that was about it, and nothing really worth reporting. Like I said, boring weekend.

So there, you have my amazing break down. Next week, the January dump continues with Green Hornet, which actually looks pretty cool, and a Ron Howard movie.

Until next weekend....

(All Numbers courtesy of Box Office Mojo)

2 Videos 4 Thursday

2011-01-06T12:05:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Brady for this first one.

And this second is the greatest montage ever assembled.

Somewhere in a prop house in Los Angeles exists a neon sign that just reads "Sex". My goal is to now find it.

Machete Don't Sell Out. (Much)

2011-01-04T10:11:00.001-08:00

Box Office Report: Redux

2011-01-02T12:39:00.001-08:00

Dude here again. Bringing you the first new box office report of this year! Welcome to the future! Yes indeed, the future is now.

And to keep the Snake Plissken quotes flowing, "The More Things Change, The More They Stay The Same".

This weekend, like the aforementioned sentence suggests, nothing much changed at all. Sure, a few things here and there, but really, it made my job easier with the cut and pasting. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. Little Fockers (Uni)- $26.3, 3554 screens, week 2, $103.1 total

2. True Grit (Par)- $24.5, 3083 screens, week 2, $86.7 total

3. Tron Legacy (BV) - $18.3, 3365 screens, week 3, $130.8 total

4. Yogi Bear (WB)- $13.0, 3515 screens, week 3, $66.1 total

5. The Chronicles of Narnia… (Fox) - $10.5, 2948 screens, week 4, $87.1 total

6. Tangled (BV) - $10.0, 2582 screens, week 6, $168.0 total

7. The Fighter (Par) $10.0, 2534 screens, week 4, $46.3 total

8. Gulliver's Travels (Fox)- $9.1, 3089 screens, week 2, $27.2 total

9. Black Swan (FoxS) - $8.4, 1553 screens, week 5, $47.3 total

10. The Kings Speech (Sony)- $7.6, 700 screens, week 6, $22.8 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that even I'm out of Fockin puns, so go nuts with your own!

Even though he's got the number 2 and 3 movies, Jeff Bridges owns us all now. Don't even try to deny it.

Did we really let $66 million dollars go to Yogi Bear?

Also of note, if you don't count Avatar because it technically came out in 2009, the new Narnia movie has become Fox's biggest hit of 2010. Strangely, it's kicking major ass overseas.

And let us welcome The Kings Speech to the top ten. We shall hear a lot of this one, I presume. My father-in-law has declared it "The best movie he's seen since Coming Home", which says a lot.

Fun Fact: I wrote this entire box office report while not wearing any pants.

Below the radar, Blue Valentine opened up on 4 screens and took in $180,000. And Mike Eigh's Another Year opened on 6 screens and took in $120,000

So there, you have my amazing break down. Next week, the January dump begins with a medieval Nicolas Cage movie that's been on a shelf for some time! It's gonna be great!

Until next weekend....

(All Numbers courtesy of Box Office Mojo)

Best/Worst of 2010

2010-12-31T19:24:00.000-08:00

There was only one movie this year that arrived, and was the greatest movie since Rambo.

And that movie is Piranha 3D. It has everything you want in a movie, in one tight 85 minute package. In 3D no less.

Hands down, best movie of this year.

Aside from that, I enjoyed these movies quite a bit. I don't really feel like getting into they "whys" of my choices just yet, but perhaps someday I shall.

Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World
Black Swan
Toy Story 3
Warriors Way
Cyrus
Predators
Please Give
Social Network

HONORABLE MENTION
Youth In Revolt, Book of Eli, Shutter Island, Crazies, Repo Men, Hot Tub Time Machine, Rec 2, Kick Ass, The Losers, Best Worst Movie, MacGruber, Get Him To The Greek, Splice, Joan Rivers A Piece of Work, Inception, Dinner For Schmucks, The Other Guys, MACHETE, The Town, Let Me In, Mystery Team, Red, Harry Potter Does Something, Rare Exports, Harry Brown, District B13 Ultimatum, Monsters, Tron Legacy (Until you think about it), Girl With Dragon Tattoo, Girl Who Played With Fire.

BAD
Legion
Human Centipede
Alice in Wonderland
She's Out of My League
Survival of the Dead
Clash of the Titans
Tiny Furniture
Greenberg
Somewhere

AWESOMELY BAD
From Paris With Love
Jonah Hex
Expendables
Resident Evil Apocalypse

MEH
Percy Jackson and The Olympians
Cop Out
Date Night (Saw these last two on a plane, so they get a pass for taking my mind off turbulence)
Daybreakers
In My Sleep
Centurion
Iron Man 2
Robin Hood
Wall Street Money blah blah

STILL NEED TO SEE:
Biutiful, True Grit, The Illusionist, The Fighter, How Do You Know, I Love You Philip Morris, 127 Hours, Four Lions, Due Date, Unstoppable, Skyline, Faster. The Kings Speech, Jackass 3D, Enter The Void, Buried, Easy A, Leaves of Grass, Catfish, I'm Still Here, Mesrine, Red Riding Trilogy, Valhalla Rising, The American, Animal Kingdom, The Square, The Kids Are Alright, Get Low, Life During Wartime, Salt, Sorcerer's Apprentice, Winnebago Man, Despicable Me, The Killer Inside Me, I Am Love, Winter's Bone, The A Team, MicMacs, Solitary Man, OSS 117 Lost In Rio, The Good The Bad The Weird, Exit Through The Gift Shop, Waking Sleeping Beauty, Ghost Writer, Runaways, City Island, Mother, Green Zone, Frozen, North Face (58)

STILL NEED TO SEE FOR THE PAIN
Furry Vengeance, Yogi Bear, Nutcracker 3D, Last Airbender, Remember Me (5)

Box Office Report: The Dude abides this holiday season

2010-12-26T17:17:00.000-08:00

Dude here again. Bringing you the final box office report of 2010! It's been an interesting year at best. It started with the Avatar sweep, and ended with a Fockin' whimper. In between, we had disappointment in quality and profit. Sure some movies shined, but nothing really wowed anybody, or justified their monetary intake.

Except that Jackass 3D. That deserved every penny.

This weekend, the holiday brings us lots of fun new presents that some unwrapped and others wish they got a sweater instead. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. Little Fockers (Uni)- $34.0, 3536 screens, week 1, $48.3 total

2. True Grit (Par)- $25.6, 3047 screens, week 1, $36.8 total

3. Tron Legacy (BV) - $20.1, 3451 screens, week 2, $88.2 total

4. The Chronicles of Narnia… (Fox) - $10.8, 3350 screens, week 3, $63.9 total

5. Yogi Bear (WB)- $8.8, 3515 screens, week 2, $36.7 total

6. The Fighter (Par) $8.5, 2511 screens, week 3, $27.5 total

7. Gulliver's Travels (Fox)- $7.2, 2546 screens, week 1, $7.2 total (Sat open)

8. Black Swan (FoxS) - $6.6, 1466 screens, week 4, $29.0 total

9. Tangled (BV) - $6.5, 2582 screens, week 5, $143.7 total

10. The Tourist (Sony)- $5.7, 2756 screens, week 3, $41.1 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that they've managed to stretch that "Focker" joke for a full decade now, and people still keep laughing. Kinda sad, really. What's even sadder is that a lot of these numbers are lower due to bad weather that's slamming the east coast at the moment.

If you're Jeff Bridges. you've gotta pretty pleased, man. The number 2 & 3 movies, kicking ass, taking names… There's nothing he can't do, and don't you try to stop him. He's the Dude, man.

Be honest, how many of you thought the Gulliver's Travels movie starring Jack Black was a practical joke? Like some sort of Tropic Thunder remnant? Judging by that number, I'm guessing a lot of you did. Although it did only open on Saturday, so who knows, it might outshine Yogi Bear.

Nothing about that last sentence is any good to anybody.

Apologies for missing last week's obvious pun of How Do You Know, but seeing that it's no longer in the top ten, I guess nobody knew it actually was a movie either.

Fun Fact: The top ten list this week contains movies from The Coen brothers, Darren Aronofsky, AND David O Russell, which makes my film nerd heart jump with glee, as it should yours.

Below the radar, Somewhere, the latest film from Sofia Coppola, took in $142,000 on 7 screens, having the highest per screen average out of all! Also opening, The Illusionist, an animated romp from the man who brought us the Triplets of Belleville, taking in $50,600 on 3 screens.

So there, you have my amazing break down. Next week, it's nothing! Absolutely nothing. I love when that happens.

Until next weekend....

(All Numbers courtesy of Box Office Mojo)

Tron! Legacy! in IMAX 3D!!!

2010-12-17T22:40:00.000-08:00

I loved Tron Legacy. Had an absolute blast, enjoyed the look, the feel, the sound, the simple story...

But then I started thinking about it.

And once that happens, it's game over, man.

So, I figure as long as I don't think about it, and think about the shiny lights and AWESOME Daft Punk score I'm fine. And as long as I don't think about creepy CG Polar Express lookin Jeff Bridges, it'll be alr... dammit!

Shinylightsshinylightsshinylights

You're ruining my zen state of mind, man.

(By the by, in case I haven't mentioned it, Black Swan is pretty great. A perfect blend of Aronofsky's sensibilities, and a film that has shades of equal parts early Polanski, Argento, and DePalma. Moviesonline has my review somewhere, I'm just too lazy to put up the link.

Also, Rare Exports is worth checking out if you can).

Also, no Box Office Report this week, but let's just assume it was Tron.

Nic Cage losing his Shit.

2010-12-13T10:36:00.001-08:00

Box Office Reports: Chronicles of Yawn-ia!

2010-12-12T11:58:00.001-08:00

Dude here again. Are you starting to feel that holiday spirit? I feel that spirit by going to the mall, and singing generic, all encompassing holiday songs. It's bizarre, but I think everyone appreciates it, as it's both respectful and pleasant. Then we break into a flash mob that only performs the dance from Peanuts!

Because who doesn't love Peanuts?

This weekend, a rather weak offering that may have sold the fate of future Christian parable adventures. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. The Chronicles of Narnia… (Fox) - $24.5, 3555 screens, week 1, $24.5 total

2. The Tourist (Sony)- $17.0, 2756 screens, week 1, $17.0 total

3. Tangled (BV) - $14.5, 3565 screens, week 3, $115.6 total

4. Harry Potter and the Etc…. (WB)- $8.5, 3577 screens, week 4, $257.6 total

5. Unstoppable (Fox) $3.7, 2967 screens, week 5, $74.2 total

6. Black Swan (FoxS) - $3.3, 90 screens, week 2, $5.6 total

7. Burlesque (ScrGms)- $3.2, 2876 screens, week 3, $32.5 total

8. Love and Other Drugs (Fox)- $3.0, 2240 screens, week 3, $27.6 total

9. Due Date (WB)- $2.5, 1990 screens, week 6, $94.8 total

10. Megamind (DW) - $2.5, 2425 screens, week 6, $140.2 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means nobody read any of the books after The Lion The Witch and the Wardrobe. Maybe just nobody liked them. Anyway, the third movie in the series opened up to a weak $24 million, probably slamming the final nail in the coffin of the series. Sure, it may have some legs thanks to the upcoming holiday season, but let's try and enjoy Aslan on the big screen while we can.

Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie in a movie that takes place in Vienna? That's gotta be an award for the prettiest movie ever made. (Naturally, after Hero). Anyway, the star power of these two wasn't quite enough to bring Pirate or Salt money, but the pairing attracted enough people to have a nice run in the upcoming weeks.

Black Swan expanded to a total of 90 screens to rank 6th on the board, which may be the highest rank a Darren Aronofsky film has ever attained on one of these charts. It's got the highest per screen average of the top ten, (not of the releases, though) and is generally kicking ass and taking names.

All the other flicks are hanging around. like guests at a party nobody wants to be at but are too polite to leave. That's right, I'm looking at you Love and Other Drugs, who only brought a vegetable platter to this shindig.

Fun Fact: When debating with friends over what the best Christmas movie of all time is, the only correct answer is Reindeer Games.

Below the radar, The Fighter, coming in with great awards and performances buzz, opened on 4 screens and took in $320,000 and the top per screen average ($80,000 per screen, beating Black Swan's record from last week). Most impressive. ALso released, Julie Taymor's triply version of The Tempest, with Helen Mirren and Russell Brand, took in $45,000 on 5 screens. Slightly less impressive.

So there, you have my amazing break down. Next week, it's Tron time!

Until next weekend....

(All Numbers courtesy of Box Office Mojo)

It's Christmas themed, it's a video, and it's Friday!

2010-12-10T11:40:00.000-08:00

I'll give you the review later today, or tomorrow, after I see it this afternoon.

Video Week Continues, with Daft Punk Tron Video

2010-12-09T12:42:00.001-08:00

Time for some Charlie Brown dancing.

2010-12-08T09:50:00.001-08:00

Candy Band

2010-12-07T13:19:00.001-08:00

Embrace of the Ninja

2010-12-06T23:18:00.001-08:00

I may or may not be the "Husky" ninja that gets stabbed with a ski pole in multiple split screens.

Box Office Report: Yawn

2010-12-05T09:52:00.001-08:00

Dude here again. With great power comes great responsibility, a man once wrote. Then it was re-appropriated in a whole bunch of other comic book movies, more or less. Now the real question remains, everyone says it, but does anyone actually really listen to it?

Sorry, I just watched that Green Lantern trailer again, and it's starting to piss me off.

This weekend, my prediction was wrong, and the one movie did better than the others, even though there wasn't much in the way of competition. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. Tangled (BV) - $21.5, 3603 screens, week 2, $96.4 total

2. Harry Potter and the Etc…. (WB)- $16.7, 4125 screens, week 3, $244.2 total

3. Burlesque (ScrGms)- $6.1, 3037 screens, week 2, $26.9 total

4. Unstoppable (Fox) $6.1, 3152 screens, week 4, $68.8 total

5. Love and Other Drugs (Fox)- $5.7, 2458 screens, week 2, $22.6 total

6. Megamind (DW) - $5.0, 3173 screens, week 5, $136.7 total

7. Due Date (WB)- $4.2, 2450 screens, week 5, $90.9 total

8. Faster (CBS) - $3.8, 2470 screens, week 2, $18.1 total

9. The Warrior's Way (Rogue)- $3.0, 1662 screens, week 1, $3.0 total

10. The Next 3 Days (LGF) - $2.6, 2236 screens, week 3, $18.3 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means Disney had sloppy second weekend, but still managed to out perform the young wizard with their animated tale of hair. Although, it's a steep drop from last week's take, but that's due to the lack of holiday.

Everything else remained in place, but not for long, as the first weekend in December is usually just a place holder weekend until the big holiday blockbusters assault us. So, that's why Burlesque and Unstoppable have made the almost the same thing in a tied for third, and Love and Other Drugs is so prominent towards the top. Sad state, but what are you gonna do?

I can not stress enough how awesome The Warrior's Way is. It's poor, MacGruber-esque performance aside, you should make every effort you can to see this movie while it still remains on a screen. You won't regret it.

Fun Fact: The Nutcracker 3D movie is allegedly horribly racist, in addition to being over two hours long, making it "Must See" for me.

Below the radar, Black Swan finally opened up on 18 screens, and blew away pretty much everyone else by taking in $1,394,000 and the highest per screen average of the weekend . Also, this weekend FINALLY saw the release of I Love You Phillip Morris, a dark comedy directed by the guys who wrote Bad Santa starring Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor… how did this movie not get released until now?!? Anyway, it opened on 6 screens and took in $113,000, not bad considering it didn't look like it would come out at all.

AND… the Dutch horror flick Rare Exports, about the trapping and auctioning of Santa Claus opened on one screen and took in $9,500. Outstanding.

So there, you have my amazing break down. Next week, even if we didn't ask for it, we're getting another Narnia movie! This one's on a boat!

Until next weekend....

(All Numbers courtesy of Box Office Mojo)

Warriors Way - The movie you need to see this weekend.

2010-12-03T17:51:00.000-08:00

You'll be hard pressed to find a film as enormously awesome, and legitimately entertaining, as The Warrior's Way. A bizarre pastiche of samurai film and western, Warrior's Way somehow manages to find just the right balance of ludicrous and fantastic, with it's tongue firmly planted in it's cheek but never letting us know that it's in on the joke. It's like a Terry Gilliam Cannon film.

Here's a list of the things this movie has:

Ninjas.

Cowboys.

Circus Freaks.

Tony Cox, playing the character "8-Ball".

A whole TOWN full of circus freaks.

Geoffrey Rush

Kate Bosworth's hilarious overacting. Then throwing knives.

Not backing down out when it comes to violence.

Geoffrey Rush playing the town drunk.

Better CG blood than Expendables.

Freakin' Danny Huston! With a scar on his face!

Emotion.

Interesting characters.

Stunning visuals.

Geoffrey Rush playing the town drunk, shooting sticks of dynamite from a ferris wheel.

If you don't like these things in a movie, then you've failed as a human being. For everyone else, there's The Warrior's Way. Check it out, you won't regret it.

Happy Chanukah Everybody!

2010-12-01T22:22:00.001-08:00

We've come full circle in pop culture spectrum.

To cheer us up from such a bad day

2010-11-29T13:42:00.001-08:00

Why don't we have a Good Day Today?

Good Day Today by threeminutesthirtyseconds

Courtesy of Mr. David Lynch, who may have released my favorite song all year. Of course, it's not like I actually listen to much new music anymore.

Old man, look at my life....

The man who directed the greatest Star Wars movie ever has left us.

2010-11-29T10:33:00.000-08:00

Irvin Kershner has gone and left us. First Leslie Neilsen, and now this.

In an odd coincidence, I caught myself watching Empire Strikes Back last night on Spike. Sure, I watched it commercial free about a month ago (while my wife was at her bachelorette party) but it was on, and I have to watch it whenever it's on. It truly is a great film.

The last film Kershner directed was Robocop 2, which isn't anywhere near as good as Empire, or the original Robocop, but it has a strange perverse weirdness to it that makes it worth watching.

Movieline has an awesome tribute article that can express things far more eloquently than I can.

Box Office Report: Yet Another Wizardly Edition

2010-11-28T11:02:00.000-08:00

Dude here again. Coming off the holiday weekend. Not too many turkey naps this weekend, and no lunacy shopping at 5 in the morning. Just some nice family, a nice meal, and some black tar heroin.

Wait, what?

This weekend, that little punk wizard continues his domination, despite ample competition that wasn't really competitive at all. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. Harry Potter and the Etc…. (WB)- $50.3, 4125 screens, week 2, $220.3 total

2. Tangled (BV) - $49.1, 3603 screens, week 1, $69.0 total

3. Megamind (DW) - $12.8, 3411 screens, week 4, $130.4 total

4. Burlesque (ScrGms)- $11.8, 3037 screens, week 1, $17.1 total

5. Unstoppable (Fox) $11.7, 3183 screens, week 3, $60.7 total

6. Love and Other Drugs (Fox)- $9.8, 2455 screens, week 1, $14.0 total

7. Faster (CBS) - $8.7, 2454 screens, week 1, $12.2 total

8. Due Date (WB)- $7.3, 2555 screens, week 4, $85.0 total

9. The Next 3 Days (LGF) - $4.8, 2564 screens, week 2, $14.5 total

10. Morning Glory (Par)- $4.0, 2441 screens, week 3, $26.4 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means Harry Potter has managed to capture the top spot for two weeks in a row! A feat not accomplished sine Goblet of Fire was released during the same time period five years ago. For fun, I took out my BO report from that weekend. Here's what I wrote:

"Well, if you're Harry Potter, you took the top once again, to no one else's surprise. It crossed the $200 million mark this weekend, not bad for about ten days of release. I have a feeling next week, it will once again take the crown, then start to lose steam once the Narnia movie and King Kong come out. But I've been wrong in the past, so who knows?"

I could basically take out the words "King Kong" and accurately predict the next two weeks of box office. It's difficult being this awesome sometimes. But well worth it.

Tangled, Disney's latest that isn't a Pixar but is still a computer animated fairy tale, fared quite well in its' first week of release. Almost taking the top spot, even. Not bad, and the lighter tone probably attracted a lot of kids who might have been "too scared" for the Harry Potter. Pussies. But yeah, don't expect Disney to stop making fairy tale movies just because they say they're going to. Because money talks, people.

As for the other new releases.. ouch. Burlesque didn't attract nearly the right amount of ironic viewers to make a significant dent, but not bad. Love and Other Drugs didn't make nearly enough to justify the amount of love and other drugs I had to take to sit through it.

And Faster? Not so fast, Dwayne Johnson. As much as I applaud any movie you star in the contains an R rating AND Billy Bob Thornton, it looks like I'm gonna have to act faster if I want to see this in a theater.

Fun Fact: I clipped my nails in the middle of writing this box office report!

Below the radar, Oscar-bation continues with the release of the heavily hyped The King's Speech, which took in $350,000 on 4 screens, with an amazing $87,500 per screen average. Expect to hear a lot about this one. Also, The Nutcracker 3D opened up on 42 screens and took in $68,000. Pretty bad, but here's another fun fact, it's from the man who directed Tango & Cash, which means I have to track down a theater and see it.

So there, you have my amazing break down. Next week, a whole lotta nothing and one movie about Ninjas in the old west, co-starring Geoffrey Rush, which means it will be spectacular.

Until next weekend....

(All Numbers courtesy of Box Office Mojo)

Karl Urban IS Judge Dredd!!

2010-11-22T11:42:00.000-08:00

Which means I will love it.

And so will Bill.

Box Office Report: Another Wizardly Edition

2010-11-21T12:18:00.000-08:00

Dude here again. Enjoying a fall morning. Poring over some box office numbers, with some green tea, chorizo and toast.

Come join me, won't you?

This weekend, in a stunning upset, Russell Crowe's movie defeats Harry Potter. And then Paul HAggis wakes up to disappointment. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. Harry Potter and the Etc…. (WB)- $125.1, 4125 screens, week 1, $125.1 total

2. Megamind (DW) - $16.1, 3779 screens, week 3, $109.4 total

3. Unstoppable (Fox) $13.1, 3209 screens, week 2, $41.9 total

4. Due Date (WB)- $9.1, 3229 screens, week 3, $72.6 total

5. The Next 3 Days (LGF) - $6.7, 2564 screens, week 1, $6.7 total

6. Morning Glory (Par)- $5.2, 2544 screens, week 2, $19.8 total

7. Skyline (Uni)- $3.4, 2883 screens, week 2, $17.6 total

8. Red (Sum)- $2.4, 2034 screens, week 6, $83.5 total

9. For Colored Girls (LGF) - $2.4, 1216 screens, week 3, $34.5 total

10. Fair Game (Sum) - $1.4, 386 screens, week 3, $3.7 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that if Warner Bros didn't have half a brain, and released the new Harry Potter movie in the half assed 3D conversion we get, it still wouldn't beat that Dark Knight or Twilight record. But it's fun to dream about other people's money.

The Next Three Days, Russell Crowe's latest that I'll probably go see because I think Crowe is a solid actor and I like him in everything, even if the movies he's in aren't that great. But, yeah, a noble effort that was probably unnecessarily quashed.

It's nice to see Fair Game up in the top ten. It's not so nice when you realize it is NOT the Fair Game where Cindy Crawford gets naked.

Fun Fact: Aforementioned Fair Game is based on the same novel that Stallone adapted for his hit vehicle Cobra!

Below the radar, something called Today's Special took in $91,000 on 55 screens, something called Made in Dagenham took in $41,100 on 3 screens, and something called White Material made $36,300, also on 3 screens.

So there, you have my amazing break down. Next week, a whole bunch of new ones come out, including an animated fairy tale, a musical with Cher, and a movie with The Rock, which is all around news for celebration.

Until next weekend....

(All Numbers courtesy of Box Office Mojo)

The Thing About Trailers

2010-11-17T16:34:00.000-08:00

Trailers, for the most part, are starting to bug me. Part of me wants to blame it on age (Too loud, too many cuts and flashes, it's giving me a headache, etc.) and part of me thinks they give too much away.Either way, I find myself using that trailer time to take an all important last trip to the men's room before the movie starts, so I don't have another Star Trek/Inception incident.

That being said, these are some recently released trailers I've seen that look pretty flippin awesome.

Battle: Los Angeles - The movie could turn out to be worse than Skyline. But this is a great trailer, no matter how you slice it.

Your Highness - Fantasy movie from David Gordon Green, written by McBride, has a weird Gilliam vibe to it. Even if it turns out to be a mess, it's a spectacular mess. This is the red band, which means more cursing and brief Natalie Portman in a thong action.

Harry Potter- Reading the Books Whilst Live Blogging!!!!

2010-11-16T13:56:00.000-08:00

Inspired by what was originally a joke comment on the Movieline site regarding Mike Ryan's attempt to watch the first 6 Harry Potter movies all in a row, never having seen or read anything Potter-related, I have decided to start Live Blogging my reading of all 7 books before the release of the movie this Friday!

Just a bit of disclosure, I have read the first 5 books twice, and the last two only one time each. I have seen the movies multiple times, though, the first three repeatedly due to my former job as a projectionist. In general, yes I am a Harry Pot-head.

Unfortunately, I haven't figured out how quite to Live Blog on this site, so I'm just gonna keep this open and update it whenever I write something new! I think that's what the kids call live blogging these days.

I don't know, I'm of the 1.0 generation.

Let's Begin!

WARNING - It may get a little blue. And spoilers, I guess, too.
***********************************************************
9:13 AM - Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone - Chapter 1
So far so good.

9:14 AM - 2 pages down. Where the fuck is this Potter kid? What's with all these damn hippies in the streets?

9:15 AM - Oh, right. He's a baby.

9:16 AM - Thanks to former college roommate Jay, who bought this book ten years ago because he wanted to read anything that schools were banning. And then forgot that I was the last person he loaned it to.

9:22 AM - One Chapter down! 30 some odd left.

9:28 AM - Man, Harry's aunt and uncle are dicks.

9:38 AM- Alright, Chapter 4 already!

9:44 AM - These are really short chapters. This book is super easy to read.

9:52 AM - Did the screenwriters just copy and paste the text for the first film? Or am I just glossing over nostalgia and cinematic memories?

9:55 AM - Inspired by my last question, I've decided to play the movie in the background. The rate I'm ripping through these chapters, I might be able to finish them both at the same time, although I doubt the scenes will match up.

10:01 AM - There are a lot of ads on this first DVD.

10:04 AM - Yeah, it's almost dead on. I know why they cut the things they cut, but I'll be damned.

10:05 AM - This was a bad idea. I've stopped reading. Like our nation's youth after the last Harry Potter book. (ZING!) Time to turn off the television.

10:09 AM - YAY! Harry got an Owl!

10:15 AM- These are awesome descriptions of this bizarre new world Harry Potter has entered.

10:22 AM - Already at Hogwarts! Let the fun begin!

10:28 AM - I wish Ithaca College was more like Hogwarts. Would have been a more wondrous and magical educational experience. Didn't even mean that pun!

10:35 AM - I should really look for a job instead of reading 7 books today. Probably be a smart move.

10:36 AM - Yay Quidditch!

10:41 AM - Hmmm... internet conked out. Gonna keep typing, and when it comes back, I'll post the backlog.

10:46 AM - Wow, taking a few moments away from reading to type is really kind of distracting. How did Mike Ryan do this with 6 movies?!? I guess it's easier with movies vs. print.

10:53 AM - Do I even have the other books? I'm pretty sure I have the last two, but I think my old roommate has the other ones. Son of a...

10:59 AM - This is a stupid idea. I have tons of other books I should read instead of re-reading something. There's Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, which I should get to before the movie gets made so I can say that the book was better.

11:08 AM - Enough of this foolishness. I'm gonna watch Doom instead.

11:15 AM - Universal logo over Red Mars instead of Earth! Goddamn this movie rocks!

11:22 AM - Handle ID, The Kid? Handle ID Goat? Handle ID Sarge? Not even disguising that this is a video game.

11:30 AM - WHOA! The female lead is Grimm's SISTER?!?! What a twist! Hopefully this movie passes the Bechdel test!

11:31 AM - Oh right. It doesn't.

11:34 AM - Nobody's splitting off into pairs. Smart. You don't want to mess with these things.

11:40 AM - "Does it bother you that you could have spent your life behind a microscope instead of a sniper scope?" "If they're so smart, how come they're so dead?" That's how you write fuckin dialog, Sorkin. Take a lesson, then eat a bowl of dick.

11:40 AM - Studio 60 my ass.

11:55 AM - The Kid is on drugs! How can he hunt for monsters on drugs?!? Unless it's a statement about how much more fun video games are when you're on drugs. This movie's got layers, people.

11:58 AM - Like an onion.

12:04 PM - Any movie that requires the use of a bone saw gets an extra half star.

12:09 PM - Is there a better modern day composer than Clint Mansell? His work here is hardcore, I need it to follow me around. Especially at the gym.

12:17 PM - Portman, you bastard! You sold out the rest of the crew!!

12:28 PM - Made myself a sandwich. Mesquite Turkey and Pepper Jack Cheese. Pretty tasty.

12:19 PM - Big Fuckin Gun! And it looks like it shoots fluoride, to boot!

12:20 PM - Oh man, some shit is going down!!!!! Cage-match style!!

12:23 PM - The creature kinda looks like "Satan" in Split Second, with Rutger Hauer. That movie rocks, too. Is it on DVD?

12:24 PM - No, it is not. Note to future film programmers, great double feature here.

12:25 PM - The Rock is starting to lose it! Oh no!

12:28 PM - So there's an extra chromosome that allows the creature to choose between good and evil? Haven't seen that in a movie before. Way to tread new ground! No sarcasm required.

12:31 PM - Oh shit! It's made its way to the ark and is now on Earth! We're doomed!

12:32 PM - Oh, I get it, Doom!

12: 38 PM - Now the Rock is full on section 8. Ordering the Kid to kill civilians? The village was cleared, the people are innocent Sarge!

12:39 PM - (That line's from Universal Soldier, but kinda fits anyway)

12:44 PM - First Person Shooter scene. Most innovative thing in cinema this past decade. Cameron didn't even TRY to replicate it with Delgo 2: The Quickening. So good, I have to share it. Thanks You Tube.

12:51 PM - SHOWDOWN!! URBAN V. ROCK!!! WHOEVER WINS, WELL, WE ALL WIN, REALLY!!!

12:59 PM - End credits! Nice, they blow everyone away except those who survived the movie!

1:07 PM - Cool, I still have the rest of the day to look for work. Hopefully the internet is back up and running!

1:08 PM - It's not. Time for Death Race or Outlander! But no more live blogging. At least, not until I can figure it out.

UPDATE: 10:53 PM - Still no job, but watching Troll, which features not one, but TWO characters named Harry Potter.

Awesome things around the Interwebs worthy of your attention

2010-11-16T10:40:00.000-08:00

Like you, I occasionally have a lull from all my big business dealings and coke-fueled hooker orgies and I find myself with a little bit of time to spare. And what better way to waste it than by reading lots of awesome things on the Interwebs!?!

First up, I found this terrific piece about the Facebook movie and humanity in general from Zadie Smith over at the New York Review of Books. It produced this great quote, in a footnote no less, that I quite enjoy and puts some awesome things in perspective:

"Our relationship with the English language predates our relationships with our phones."

Next up, an awesome series over at The AV Club about Grunge in the 90s. They're up to part 4, but it's best to start at the beginning. The AV Club has a bunch of terrific series, like My Year of Flops and The New Cult Cannon, but this is the first one not involving movies I voraciously tore through.

And over at Overthinking It they've been having a fun series of articles over the past few weeks (non-Inception related, which is a nice feat) about one-dimensional female characters (with a terrific flow chart), when a female character is an archetype or a stereotype (complete with awesome picture), and now a defense of one-dimensional characters. Great stuff from a website that's mighty entertaining.

And finally, here's something for you to enjoy, courtesy of the man who made me my "You Go In Pieces" Dolph Lundgren shirt.

Terrific stuff.

Box Office Report: Stoppable

2010-11-14T20:42:00.000-08:00

Dude here again. Coming at you with your bi-monthly box office report. Why bi-monthly? Because it's been a really busy time lately. What could possibly take me away from the fun of reporting the exchange of millions of dollars between consumers and multimedia conglomerates in exchange for two hours of entertainment?

Let's just say I took Beyonce's advice, and put a ring on it.

This weekend, a clam before the Harry Potter storm. Or calm. Kinda works either way. But not really. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. Megamind (DW) - $30.0, 3949 screens, week 2, $89.7 total

2. Unstoppable (Fox) $23.5, 3207 screens, week 1, $23.5 total

3. Due Date (WB)- $15.5, 3365 screens, week 2, $59.0 total

4. Skyline (Uni)- $11.6, 2880 screens, week 1, $11.6 total

5. Morning Glory (Par)- $9.6, 2518 screens, week 1, $12.2 total (Wed Open)l

6. For Colored Girls (LGF) - $6.7, 2127 screens, week 2, $30.9 total

7. Red (Sum)- $5.1, 2878 screens, week 5, $79.8 total

8. Paranormal Activity 2 (Par) - $3.0, 2403 screens, week 4, $82.0 total

9. Saw 3D (LGF) - $2.7, 1976 screens, week 3, $43.4 total

10. Jackass 3-D (Par)- $2.3, 1607 screens, week 5, $114.7 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that 3D animation trumps Denzel's speeding train. In an underwhelming weekend, Megamind continues to take in money that will next week go to the magical wizard. Because it wouldn't be a holiday season without an animated movie to distract us all.

Unstoppable proved to be stoppable (I feel shame for writing that) but still good enough for an impressive $23 million opening, on par with most Denzel Washington action fare. Bonus points for being a PG-13 Tony Scott movie. Rare is that.

Skyline is a curious case. It came in fourth, but made back its production budget, impressive for a movie financed by the FX house that created everything. (Thanks to that facial mapping of Armie Hammer in Social Network). But it's garnered some horrible reviews, most with the words "Gloriously" and "retarded". Yet, with each horrific thing I read, my desire to see it increases exponentially.

Morning Glory, evening sadness.

Fun Fact: Hollywood actually took a break and didn't release a Christmas themed movie in early November! Progress!

Below the radar, Tiny Furniture, a movie whose preview is so twee it makes Paper Heart look like There Will Be Blood, opened up to an impressive $22,450. What makesthat so impressive is that was solely on one screen. Elsewhere, 127 Hours expanded and took in $453,000 on 22 screens. Gotta love a Danny Boyle flick.

So there, you have my amazing break down. Next week, I may have mentioned the wizard movie, but there's also a Russell Crowe movie, which makes me smile a little bit.

Until next weekend....

(All Numbers courtesy of Box Office Mojo)

These animated depictions of celebrities gone bad

2010-11-12T17:07:00.001-08:00

ARE AMAZING

Ed's QOTD 11-10-10

2010-11-11T09:45:00.000-08:00

Hint for the previous one, the title is a word in the dialog!

NICK

You wanna know what a real criminal is, kid? It’s the son of a bitch that painted this car…I mean imagine defacing a work of art like this with a color like that. The man oughta have his ass removed.

Some Doritos Ads for your Perusal.

2010-11-09T22:56:00.000-08:00

My friend Andy, who assistance on the Fantastic Mr. Anderson was invaluable, has made a spec Doritos ad.

Also, my friend Shane has a submission as well.

Check them out! Show them some love! The more my friends get work, the greater the chance I get some work.

Ed's QOTD 11-9-10

2010-11-09T10:01:00.000-08:00

RACHEL

Oh, I see. So, underneath that apathetic exterior was actually a raging indifference.

M4 and M249

2010-11-09T08:58:00.000-08:00

The horribly racist target behind was "Asian Triad Thug", which looked like pretty much every bootleg video cover you ever saw on a Chinatown sidewalk.

Extra Bonus Awkward Points: Two Asian men were standing next to me whilst I was making some terrific head shots on that target.

Truth be told, I didn't fire this weapon. But the Australian dudes in the lane next to us did.

And it was glorious.

Underworld was on Jimmy Fallon

2010-11-02T17:52:00.000-07:00

They're promoting their new album BARKING, which upon first listen, I thought was too dance-y, but subsequent listens have won me over to its charm. Not their best, but a solid effort, nonetheless.

Anyway, they were on Jimmy Fallon last week. Here is hopefully some video.

They also played the West Coast this past weekend, the only time this year they will, but I missed it. Kicking myself, they put on AWESOME shows.

Ed's Quote of the Day 11-2-10

2010-11-02T17:19:00.000-07:00

Yesterday's was from The Player.

DOC

What is wrong with me? What have you got? I am dying of tuberculosis. I sleep with the nastiest whore in Kansas. Everyone who knows me hates me and every morning I wake up surprised that I have to spend another day in this piss-hole world.

8-Bit Milkshakes

2010-11-01T17:23:00.001-07:00

FINALLY, they answered my letters.

Super There Will Be Blood from Tomfoolery Pictures on Vimeo.

Benelli M3 Shotgun

2010-11-01T11:08:00.000-07:00

The target behind me depicts a Nazi Zombie.

And to explain the outfit, they said since it's your bachelor party, if you're willing to humiliate yourself for the experience, you can shoot for free.

And that's what I did.

The best part is that you have to wait a long time to actually shoot, then it takes time when you're in the range, so a whole new crop of people had no idea why I was shooting a gun dressed like I was.

Ed's Quote of the Day 11-1-10

2010-11-01T10:25:00.000-07:00

So my friend Ed has been sending me a "Quote of the Day" email every weekday for the past few weeks now. It's fun, it's nerdy, and sometimes it's so obscure that it makes me proud for remembering these things, and not things like biology or US History.

So I think I might try and make it a thing over here. Why? Because ~~Ed did all the work for me already~~ I'm a nerd who enjoys these things. Hopefully you will enjoy it as well.

Enjoy! (These Things)

LARRY

I can get back right after my AA meeting.

GRIFFIN

Oh Larry, I didn’t realize you had a drinking problem.

LARRY

Well actually, I don’t but that’s where all the deals are being made these days. 

Box Office Report: Saw Saws See Saw. 3D

2010-10-31T23:15:00.000-07:00

Dude here again. Happy Halloween! The box office reports have been sporadic, for this I apologize. Lots of changes going on in my life. Suffice it to say, it involves massive amounts of guns, strippers, booze, cars, and shenanigans. But who needs shenanigans when we have money to talk about?

That's the lesson I learned from that movie that's out now.

This weekend, a return to Halloween normalcy. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. Saw 3D (LGF) - $22.5, 2808 screens, week 1, $24.2 total

2. Paranormal Activity 2 (ParV) - $16.5, 3239 screens, week 2, $65.6 total

3. Red (Sum)- $10.8, 3349 screens, week 3, $58.9 total

4. Jackass 3-D (Par)- $8.4, 3139 screens, week 3, $101.5 total

5. Hereafter (WB) - $6.3, 2424 screens, week 3, $22.1 total

6. Secretariat (BV) - $5.0, 3072 screens, week 4, $44.7 total

7. The Social Network (Sony)- $4.7, 2767 screens, week 5, $79.7 total

8. Life As We Know It (WB)- $4.0, 2860 screens, week 4, $43.4 total

9. The Town (WB)- $1.9, 1608 screens, week 7, $87.6 total

10. Conviction (FoxS) $1.8, 565 screens, week 3, $2.3 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that going the 3D route was the shot in the arm the Saw franchise needed to end out on top. Sure, it will probably be "Rebooted" in a year or so, but let's enjoy this while we can.

Paranormal Activity in second place. Remember that nonsense when the director of Saw 6 was gonna make that Paranormal Activity, then the Saw guys were all "Screw you, pal, you gotta make this last Saw movie"? You think they're gonna ask that guy to make the third Paranormal Activity?

Conviction made its way to the top ten, huh? Good job. No idea what it is aside from Sam Rockwell is probably involved.

Fun Fact: actor Richard Crenna invented tartar sauce!

Below the radar, The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest, the third in the popular line of Swedish translations of those books you see everyone have at the airport and the starbucks, it opened up on 153 and took in $915,000. Also opening was Monsters, which opened on 3 screens and took in $21,000. (That one may also be available on your On Demand station. Technology!)

So there, you have my amazing break down. Next week, Megamind and Hangover 2. I mean Due Date. But you know I really mean Hangover 2.

Until next weekend....

(All Numbers courtesy of Box Office Mojo)

Uzi 9mm

2010-10-27T17:19:00.000-07:00

Part of a series.

We're Just a Couple of Regular Guys, Walking Down the Street, With a Small Cowboy

2010-10-18T09:23:00.000-07:00

Box Office Report: The Return

2010-10-17T12:20:00.000-07:00

Dude here again. Some may say I missed last week's box office report because I was recovering from a Tandori wedding hangover, but I was merely protesting that far too many people voluntarily elected to see Life As We Know It. Rarely do I question the taste of the populace, but this was one of those times.

Seriously, who could willingly see that?

This weekend, the world is right again. Let's go to the numbers, shall we? (All in millions, remember, and these are the studio estimates. The actuals will be available on Monday).

1. Jackass 3-D (Par)- $50.0, 3081 screens, week 1, $50.0 total

2. Red (Sum)- $22.5, 3255 screens, week 1, $22.5 total

3. The Social Network (Sony)- $11.0, 2868 screens, week 3, $63.1 total

4. Secretariat (BV) - $9.5, 3072 screens, week 2, $27.5 total

5. Life As We Know It (WB)- $9.2, 3150 screens, week 2, $28.8 total

6. Legend of the Guardians (WB) - $4.2, 2502 screens, week 4, $46.0 total

7. The Town (WB)- $4.0, 2368 screens, week 5, $80.5 total

8. My Soul To Take (Uni) - $3.1, 2529 screens, week 2, $11.9 total

9. Easy A (ScrGms) - $2.6, 2314 screens, week 5, $52.3 total

10. Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps (Fox) $2.3, 2045 screens, week 4, $47.8 total

So those are the numbers, but what do they mean? Well, it means that finally, good sense prevails, and the number one movie is the most deserving. The Jackass boys blew away their previous openings (some will accuse the inflated 3-D prices) and proved once again that the world loves movies where idiots get hit in the junk.

Opening in second is Red, Bruce Willis and other older actors firing machine guns, and hopefully swearing up a storm. Just noticed the PG-13 rating, so it's probably just Grumpy Old Men with weaponry. Which is not a bad thing. Anyway, it, was an impressive opening, especially for Bruce WIllis, because if we elect to see him in other movies, the possibilities of Die Hard 5 are slimmer and slim… Nevermind, just read that it's fast-tracked. There is no justice.

Everything else is slipping silently. Social Network continues to chug along nicely. Finally saw it, but was more than a little disappointed at the lack of Farmville jokes.

Fun Fact: There is a scene in Wall Street 2 where money, in fact, DOES sleep!

Below the radar, no small release indie horror flicks, but more Oscar-bation as Hereafter, starring Matt Damon and directed by Clint Eastwood, opened on 6 screens and took $231,000. Also, Conviction, starring Hilary Swank, opened on 11 screens to take in $110,000. Time will tell if these movies will win numerous awards.

So there, you have my amazing break down. Next week, a popular horror movie released this time last year gets a sequel, and the word Saw is not involved. Thankfully, neither is the phrase "3-D". However, that will happen the following week.

I had fun with the Michael Bay app thingie.

Until next weekend....

(All Numbers courtesy of Box Office Mojo)

In Honor Of Brady's Geocities Comment

2010-10-15T10:47:00.000-07:00

I decided to provide this link that will let you turn any website into a Geocities inspired masterpiece.

So, I went and did this.

2010-10-14T16:23:00.000-07:00

Decided to try something new.

If it's too weird and upsetting let me know. I'm still not 100% on it and I'm gonna fool around with it for a bit.

Not too much, though. We all know what happens when there's too much tinkering.

We get multiple editions on outdated media.

Anyway, let me know what you think. Like I said, it's not always gonna be like this. But figured I'd give it a whirl.